Chapter 42 Mikhail
MIKHAIL
The moment I see Sophia standing in my office hallway, my world tilts on its axis.
Relief and fury war in my chest, each emotion so intense I can barely breathe.
She’s here.
She’s safe.
And she’s completely unprotected in the middle of downtown.
“Sophia.” Her name comes out rougher than I intend. “What are you doing here?”
Her blue eyes are wide, her face pale.
One hand rests protectively over the small swell of her stomach, and I see the fear in her expression.
But there’s something else too. Accusation. Disappointment.
She heard me on the phone.
She heard me talking about eliminating a problem, and now she thinks the worst.
“I needed to see you.” Her voice trembles slightly. “I needed to talk to you somewhere that isn’t the compound surrounded by guards and…and loneliness.”
I glance past her down the hallway, my mind already calculating threats. “How did you get here? Where’s your security detail?”
“I don’t need a security detail to visit my husband’s office.” She lifts her chin, defiant despite the tremor in her hands. “I’m not a prisoner, Mikhail.”
“You’re pregnant and vulnerable.” I step closer, lowering my voice. “Do you have any idea how dangerous it is for you to be out here alone? If any of my enemies saw you, if they realized you were unprotected—”
“I’m not alone. Elena drove me.” She crosses her arms over her chest. “And I wouldn’t have had to sneak out if you didn’t treat me like I’m made of glass.”
The word “sneak” makes my blood run cold. “You snuck out? Past the guards? Past the security I put in place specifically to keep you safe?”
“The security you put in place to keep me locked up.” Her voice rises, and I’m acutely aware of my employees in nearby offices who might overhear. “I can’t breathe in that compound, Mikhail. I can’t live like that.”
I take her arm, my grip gentle but firm, and guide her into my office.
The door closes behind us with a soft click, giving us privacy.
She pulls away from me immediately, putting the width of my desk between us.
“We need to talk about what you heard,” I begin, but she cuts me off.
“I heard you ordering someone to eliminate a problem. Permanently.” Her eyes shine with unshed tears. “I heard you becoming the man I’m terrified you’ll always be.”
The accusation stings because part of me knows she’s not entirely wrong.
I’ve been walking a tightrope between my old life and the legitimate future I’m trying to build, and sometimes the line blurs more than I’d like to admit.
“That phone call was about a corrupt city official.” I move around the desk toward her, but she backs away. “He’s trying to shake down my construction company for bribes. The elimination I was discussing involves lawyers and legal pressure, not violence.”
She searches my face, looking for the lie she’s convinced must be there. “You expect me to believe that?”
“It’s the truth.” Frustration makes my voice sharper than I intend. “I’ve been working with attorneys all week to build a case against him. No threats. No violence. Just legal warfare.”
“Then why did you sound so angry? Why use those words?” She wraps her arms around herself, and I hate that she needs comfort I apparently can’t provide. “You sounded exactly like the man who tortured my father.”
The comparison sends a mix of frustration and guilt twisting through my stomach. “I’m not that man anymore.”
“Aren’t you?” She moves to the window, staring out at the city below. “You say you’re trying to go legitimate, but you’re still solving problems the same way. You’re still thinking like a pakhan first and a businessman second.”
I follow her to the window, standing close enough to feel the heat radiating from her body but not touching.
“Going legitimate isn’t as simple as flipping a switch.
I have enemies who see my transition as weakness.
I have business partners who don’t understand why I’m suddenly playing by the rules.
And I have a wife who I’m terrified of losing because I can’t seem to do anything right. ”
And I maintained a small force and have been rebuilding the empire I gave up, regaining those connections, so I can keep her safe.
She turns to face me, and the pain in her eyes makes my chest ache. “I’m not asking you to be perfect. I’m asking you to choose. Really choose. Our family or your empire.”
“It’s not that simple.” I reach for her, but she steps back. “Too many people depend on me. My men, their families, the legitimate businesses that employ hundreds of workers. If I show weakness now, someone will move in to fill the vacuum.”
“So we’re trapped.” Her laugh is bitter. “Trapped in a life of violence because you’re too afraid to truly leave it behind.”
The accusation ignites my temper. “I’m not afraid. I’m being realistic. I’m trying to protect you and our baby while building something legitimate. But that takes time.”
“How much time?” She moves closer, her voice rising. “How long until you’ve transitioned completely? Will our child be in school by then, learning to duck when they hear gunshots?”
“That’s not fair.”
“None of this is fair!” Her voice breaks. “I didn’t ask for this life. I didn’t ask to fall in love with a man who can’t seem to leave violence behind. But I did, and now I’m carrying his child, and I don’t know how to protect them from the world you’ve created.”
The admission that she loves me should make me feel victorious. Instead, it just makes the guilt heavier. “I love you too. That’s why I’m doing this. Why I’m trying to change, why I’m building the legitimate businesses.”
“But you’re not changing fast enough.” She wipes at her tears with the back of her hand. “Every day I wake up wondering if this will be the day someone comes for us. If this will be the day our baby pays the price for your past.”
I close the distance between us and cup her face in my hands, forcing her to look at me. “I will do whatever is necessary to protect you and our child. Whatever it takes. But I am trying to go legitimate. It’s just not that easy. You have to understand that.”
“I understand that you’re still the same man.” She searches my face, looking for something I’m not sure I can give her. “You say you’re changing, but I heard you on that phone. You sounded exactly like the pakhan, not like a legitimate businessman.”
“Because I’m frustrated.” I lean down, my forehead nearly touching hers. “This official is threatening everything I’ve built. He’s demanding bribes that could bankrupt the construction company. I have every right to be angry.”
“Angry enough to eliminate him?” Her voice drops to a whisper. “What does that really mean, Mikhail? Because in your world, elimination usually involves a body bag.”
“Not this time.” I stroke my thumbs across her cheekbones, feeling the dampness of her tears. “I swear to you, I’m handling this legally. But I can’t control how I sound when I’m angry. I can’t control the words I use when I’m dealing with people who are trying to destroy what I’ve built.”
She’s quiet for a long moment, her blue eyes studying mine. I can see the war playing out behind them, the battle between her love for me and her fear for our child’s future.
“I want to believe you,” she says finally. “I want to believe that you can really change. But Mikhail, I need more than words. I need to see it.”
“I’m trying to be that man.” I lean in, needing to feel her lips against mine, needing the connection that always grounds us. “But you have to meet me halfway. You have to trust—”
She turns her head at the last second, and my lips brush her cheek instead. The rejection is like a knife to the gut.
“I can’t.” She pushes against my chest, and I let her create distance between us. “I can’t stand to see you fall down this hole again. To turn to violence first and kill people to get rid of a problem.”
“I’m not—”
“You are.” Her voice is steady now, all traces of tears gone. “Maybe not today, maybe not with this official. But eventually, you’ll slip back into your old ways. And I won’t be there to watch it happen.”
My heart pounds against my ribs. “What are you saying?”
She meets my gaze, and I see the determination there mixed with the pain. “I’m saying that if you can’t put the violence behind you, if you can’t truly commit to going legitimate, then I’ll leave. I’ll take our baby and disappear, and you’ll never find us.”