Chapter 26 Ava
TWENTY-SIX
ava
My heart sinks when I open my eyes and see Seamus’ side of the bed empty.
Of course he’s gone.
I let out a deep, shuddering sigh and fling my arms over my head as the memories wash over me.
Last night was…
I want to say a revelation, a turning point, because if I’m being honest with myself, that’s exactly how it felt.
If I wasn’t a participant in a sham marriage built on mutual hate as well as being a dysfunctional and very specific sex addict—that is, addicted to one man only—then, yeah. I’d definitely say that’s what it was.
A turning point.
But it isn’t. Letting myself think that is dangerous. To the newly discovered, softer parts of me.
Worse, I’m not sure I know how I feel about Seamus anymore. The tangle of emotions inside my head and heart are complicated, but that’s nothing new. No, it’s more like I’m on a precipice.
I could like this man. I could like his family.
And I know, if this thing between us was even close to normal, he’d come in here with breakfast and a smile.
But that’s a fairy tale because no one comes in.
I rise and sit on the edge of the bed, hugging my legs to my chest. Whatever happened… or is happening… changes nothing. It doesn’t change the fact that neither of us trusts the other.
Seamus hasn’t done a thing to me I haven’t wanted deep down. From the moment he first put his hands on me and ignited the spark and flame between us, I’ve wanted that touch, ached for the pull.
Otherwise…
Otherwise, I’d have found another way to get what I want. A Russian man I could control. I’m sure there are soldiers in Romanov’s Bratva, or perhaps in the Volkov camp, who’d want to marry the Pakhan and get power for himself.
Instead, I went to the enemy, to the one I thought was a member of the family who killed Stan.
I close my eyes. Seamus is right. My heart’s limited and twisted down into caring about my legacy. Because why else wouldn’t I try to get Tatiana and run to safety?
Enemy. The word’s more complex than I imagined. I believed Seamus the moment he told me he didn’t kill Stan. Maybe because he didn’t seem the type to lie. Maybe because I knew Stan’s death in a bar fight had to be partly his fault. The police had called it tragic, something I didn’t even consider.
But I also believed Seamus when he told me they want what Volkov is. And out of everyone involved, I think he can see the potential, ways to expand it and make it more dynamic, to carve a few more paths, and build a better, more solid network.
He wants that.
So does his brother Callahan.
My lips twist.
Enemy still fits.
“Stop it,” I whisper as I walk into the bathroom to shower.
I step under the hot spray and inhale the clean scent of the shower gel as it froths in my hands.
It’s nothing like the smell I’ve become so familiar with.
And when I dry off and dress, I pick up his cold pillow and breathe him in, letting it infuse me.
Tonight, we’re setting up a small event at the Volkov house. But there are two. The house where we spent weekends, the place Mama loved, in Bay Ridge. Dad had an office there. My uncle took that over and used it as his home, where he’d run some of his gambling games.
But the main office Dad worked from was the Manhattan townhouse. That’s where the operations of the bratva run from, the inner workings of Volkov Shipping.
That’s where we’d be when my parents had events. And that’s where Dad and Elena lived.
Because most of the precious memories of Mama, for him and me, were in Bay Ridge.
It’s the perfect venue for tonight.
Enough people get invited and no one declined to attend. I smooth my hands down the front of my red dress and then take the stairs, following the scent of coffee in the air.
Seamus is the only one in the kitchen. Well, the only human. The animals sun themselves in front of the glass wall that lets in the sun and warms the cool air. The chill emanating from my so-called husband is impervious to the heat, though.
He’s at the table working on his laptop, a cup of steaming coffee to his right. I walk over to the intimidating machine and make myself a cup. Then I lean against the counter, silently willing him to talk.
Seamus doesn’t even look at me, and every sense inside flares at his indifference.
I glare at him, reality returning with a thump and the familiar rise of anger. I wait for the hate but it doesn’t follow. In its place is something more complicated that I definitely don’t want to acknowledge.
“The kitten and puppy are doing better,” he suddenly says. “But Dr. Tan wants to keep them until tomorrow.”
I sip my coffee. His words soothe something in me, but I fail with a response that’s adequate. So I just ignore what he said. “What about tonight? I think we should visit the Manhattan townhouse.”
“If the safe is empty?” he asks after a long pause.
“Then we hit the Bay Ridge mansion. But… I think it’s the townhouse. Launceston said Volkov’s office. Not Dad’s. It’ll be there. Except I’m not sure I’ll know the combination. He mentioned a code to the lawyer and claimed I’d know it when the time came.”
I swallow hard, clutching the mug. “Maybe it’s engraved on the crest?”
He flashes a cold smile, and I don’t know how we ended up right back here, like last night never happened. “You’re not getting it, not until this is all over.”
“Seamus, you told me I’d get it when I was honest with you.”
“Yeah, well, I changed my mind.” Then he stands up, closes his computer, and picks it up. “If you’ll excuse me, I have things to take care of. Declan’ll be your companion today, should you choose to leave the house. Be dressed and ready by seven.”
My heart plummets. “My prison guard?”
The gulf widens as his gaze shifts over me. “You’ll have a dress for tonight. And call Declan’s presence whatever you want, I don’t really care.”
Then he walks away, leaving me cold and alone, despite the warmth of the day filtering in.
But I’m not going to chew on it. Things are what they are. We’re uneasy enemies… frenemies… people in a difficult situation that has a bonus side dish of scorching hot sex. That’s it. And in a year, I’ll have my bratva, and he’ll…
I’ll find a way to make sure the Murphy family has nothing but a client’s access to the routes.
Nothing more, and if they complain, I’ll wipe them out.
Somehow.
Later, in the living room, I throw myself into what the code might be. Our last name means wolf, so I jot down as many deviations, and then I do the letter to number conversions. I jot down my birthday and my mother’s birthday.
And in the end, despair and anger bites.
Combinations are endless.
Launceston said code, so… I don’t even have a start, apart from my last name, which has got to be too obvious.
I ball up the piece of paper and throw it across the room.
“You look pissed off,” Declan says. “Do you want to come with me to Lucie’s pet café?”
I don’t really have anything else to do, so I let him fit me with the cat backpack, the weight of the black cat somehow comforting as he takes the dog’s leash.
It’s not that far of a walk to the pet café. Next door is Dirty Harry’s, and inside I can see Harry talking to a woman picking out flowers. These Murphy men. They love their women.
Dec holds the door for me to the café and I step inside. He takes the carrier from me and unleashes Arnold, kissing Lucie’s cheek lovingly. She grins.
It pushes the lump in my throat higher. They clearly love each other like siblings, and I don’t have anything like that. I never will.
Tatiana will grow up with that possible monster Romanov, a man who, I think, does love her. And she… she already loves him, probably calls him Dad.
I’m just someone she sees on occasion.
“Hey, Ava, look…” He picks up a puppy similar to the one I found, but he’s bigger, stronger, not at all as runt-like.
I take the pup as Declan plucks a fuzzy kitten, this one chocolate-colored with blue eyes. “Did you…?”
“Early hours of this morning. I told Clawsy and Arnie I’d avenge their brethren.” And he grins, though his green eyes are dark and savage. “Thanks to you, we tracked them down. So many animals crammed in. We saved them all.”
“We?”
“I didn’t go alone, Ava. Seamus… I had to stop him from torturing these people.” He studies me. “Never seen him so furious. For the animals, of course, but I think for you, too, that you had to find the dead ones.”
“I don’t think it was for me.”
“If you say so,” Declan says. “I’m just letting you know what I saw.”
I stroke the top of the little puppy’s head. “Are the people who dumped the animals dead?”
“Yes,” he says.
And I nod. “Good.”
Through dinner before the event, Seamus played the part of loving husband. The little touches, the smiles, and looks all turned my heart inside out and made my stomach flutter and sing.
He still does play the part for all to see. The interim head of Volkov is here with us in the bar where he’s been pinned down by Seamus and Callahan. He slips and slides, trying to wriggle free of the gathering at the townhouse.
I stand by Seamus. He slips an arm around me, easing me in against him as he kisses my throat.
Then he looks at Ivan, my uncle’s chosen second.
“I’d hate for it to get out that the current Volkov leadership’s scared of the actual Pakhan because she’s female.
It won’t do your business well. And my family and I would hate to see her heritage crumble and get taken over by others. ”
“Of course,” I continue, staring Ivan down, “you won’t be alive to see any of that. If those who decide my bratva’s there for the taking, then heads will roll. I’ll see yours on a spike.”
Seamus nods. “That is if the other parties don’t find their heads on spikes first.”
“There’s been interest coming in from some of the nastiest cartels.” I smile up at Seamus, my blood percolating, almost like it does when his heat touches mine.