CHAPTER SEVENTEEN
LILIANA
Thankfully, she went to the hospital quickly. It was only in the second stage and the doctors were able to help her. She went through chemotherapy and it was a long journey of healing and getting her strength back, but I’ll always hold the day we found out she was cancer-free close to my chest.
That was the scariest period of my life. The thought that I could have lost her gripped me strongly, and it was truly the hardest thing I had ever experienced.
Despite all of that, she did her best to prepare me to live without her and reminded me that we’re all just passing through on this earth and we never truly know when we’re going to leave it.
I did my best to prepare myself, especially my heart, for her departure, but my mom survived, and she got better.
I didn’t lose the only family I had in the world.
Falling in love with Rafaelle Vitale is something I’m not entirely sure I’ll survive. But the truth is, I’m well on my way down that path. And I don’t know how to stop myself.
Water cascades down my back, flowing down into the drain. My hair sticks to my back as I try to wash off the feeling of his hands on me, the feeling of him inside of me.
An impossible task.
Now that I’ve had him, I know nothing else will ever compare. And it breaks my heart that we’re probably not going to be endgame.
Tears well up in my eyes at the thought and I wash them down as well. Before I return to the man waiting for me in bed. He’s everything I’ve ever wanted. He makes me feel safe and protected and amazing. He’s a safety net that I know would catch me if I ever fell. He supports me in every way.
Rafaelle Vitale might be a monster to the world. But with me and behind closed doors, he’s nothing more than a man who’s been hurt. With holes that I desperately want to fill.
He arrived earlier armed with a smile and good news.
His plan to deal with my father is perfect and amazing and I would be more than happy to throw myself down that path with him, except for just one thing.
I’m hiding the existence of his daughter from him and after his revelations about Tara, I’m terrified that this truth might be the thing that sends him completely off the edge.
And the truth is, I wouldn’t even blame him.
When I enter the bedroom, he’s sitting against the headboard and his face immediately lights with a small smile.
It’s the best thing ever, watching his eyes light up with warmth and knowing it’s because of me.
“I can’t believe I ever used to think you were scary,” I say, climbing into his lap, needing to be close to him.
“I’m still scary,” he complains.
I play with the ends of his hair, amused, “Hate to break it to you, Raf but your scary privileges have been revoked. You’re a sap now.”
He wrinkles his nose in disgust, “Only with you, little siren.”
I lean forward to kiss him, tasting whiskey and something that burns my senses in the most delicious way.
There’s a desperation and longing in the kiss that has me gasping for air.
The pads of my fingertips glide up his neck, cupping the side of his face.
When we finally separate, Rafaelle stares at me, his gaze thoughtful, searing.
“As amazing as that was, why do I feel like you’re holding something back from me, Liliana?” he asks.
My heart jolts in my chest.
“What do you mean?”
He shrugs, “I can feel you holding back. Tell me what’s wrong.”
I bite down on my bottom lip knowing I have to give him something. He’s way too perceptive for his own good.
“Actually, I wanted to ask you for a favor,” I start, settling on the lesser of the evils running rampant in my head. “I need to leave the house.”
His eyes narrow, “Absolutely not.”
“Please, Rafaelle. I’m not a hostage anymore,” I remind him.
“Sure, you’re not, but Navarro doesn’t know that, does he? I can’t have you waltzing about so he can get your pretty ass before we get the chance to begin negotiations.”
I make a face, “And here I thought you were keeping me here because you liked me.”
“Him taking you would only be temporary, little siren. There’s no world where I don’t get you back,” he says intensely. “But I imagine the deal my brothers are trying so hard to get would blow up if you slipped out of my fingers.”
My heart falls slightly, and he frowns at the expression on my face.
“Where do you want to go?”
“To see Carlos,” I murmur. “He’s been trying to get a hold of me since I was abducted, and he isn’t accepting any assurances from me over the phone that I’m safe.”
“I don’t trust that asshole.”
“You don’t trust a lot of people, Raf. But Carlos is harmless, I promise. It’ll just be a quick meeting at the park where I met him. I just want to talk to him.”
I need someone to open up to. About everything. Someone to help me come to a decision, because truthfully, I’m going crazy. And I’m so fucking sick and tired of hiding. Carlos has always been my sounding board. He helped me out when my life was complete and utter shit. I trust him.
He lets out a soft groan, “Fine. Raul will go with you. And you’d better come back to me.”
“I promise.”
He nips at my collarbone, leaving a sting before licking it away soothingly. Head falling back, I offer him better access, the towel wrapped around me falling away. My tits are pressed against his shirt, ready and wanting.
His lips find mine again, unravelling me. I grind into him, a throbbing between my leg that’s never far anytime I’m with Rafaelle. I’m practically insatiable. He’s been inside me too many times to count in the space of one day.
A desperate moan escapes me and I reach for the shorts he’s wearing. Wrapping my hand around his length, I pull him out. I stroke him once, twice until he’s hissing, air escaping between his teeth.
“Grab a condom, Liliana,” he commands darkly.
I reach for the drawer where the packet lies, tearing one off and wearing it over him.
He watches me intensely; eyes locked onto me in a way that feels intimate and open.
I place a hand on his shoulders and slowly lower myself down onto his cock.
I take all of him in before lifting off and then taking him in again.
“Don’t stop,” he groans.
“Your wish is my command,” I say shakily.
When our eyes meet again, everything else grows quiet. And I think to myself that I want this. I want him, and I want our daughter to be with us both.
* * *
Carlos isn’t pleased to see me.
Not in the slightest. So I let him stew in annoyance and frustration, while I take in the sunlight washing over me and the smooth air blowing around me. I haven’t left Rafaelle’s mansion in nearly two weeks and I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t grateful for the respite.
Despite the henchmen standing beside the cars parked at the entrance of the park, their watchful eyes on me. When Rafaelle said, Raul would accompany me, I thought he meant just the 6 foot 5 intimidating brunette. But an entourage had accompanied me, acting as my security.
It’s ridiculous but it’s not like I have a choice.
Carlos took one look at the bodyguards and seemed to draw some conclusions on his own, understanding in his expression. I’m still waiting for him to share with the class.
“You’re in way over your head here, Liliana,” he starts, his tone surprisingly measured and controlled. “Those men are here on the orders of Rafaelle Vitale, aren’t they?”
I nod once.
“You’ve been with him all this while?”
Another nonverbal assent.
“He kidnapped you?”
I sigh softly, staring down at the patch of grass.
“Not exactly.”
Like he keeps saying, he didn’t know I was Ignacio Navarro’s daughter when his brothers hatched the plot. Rafaelle’s not blameless and will never be. But he can get a little grace for that.
“What the fuck does not exactly mean?”
I wrench my head towards him in surprise. I’ve never heard Carlos curse. He pinches the bridge of his nose, and my eyes are involuntarily drawn to the gloves he’s wearing, knowing what’s underneath.
“Carlos, I’m in trouble,” I begin.
“Clearly,” he drawls, looking at me.
“No, I mean I’m fucked. Literally,” I pause, not knowing where to start. “I found my father. Or should I say, I was informed about his identity? His name is Ignacio Navarro. A Mexican drug lord in the city.”
Carlos’s eyes light up in recognition.
“The Vitales are keeping me because of him,” I continue, all of them except one that is. Rafaelle has made it clear he doesn’t care about my identity. “They want to use me in a trade for power.”
“They’ll return you to your father?” he questions, gaze thoughtful and intent.
“Yes. And I’m not sure I want that. My mother kept me away from him for a very good reason. This man whoever he is, seems like bad news. And you know what they say, better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.”
He frowns, “The ones you know in this case being the Vitales? You want to stay with the man that tortured me and kidnapped you.”
I huff out a small breath. I was really hoping he’d be able to provide me with unbiased advice but if his grudge against Rafaelle is going to hold him back, then maybe I should say anything else.
Not that I blame him for being angry. He has every right to be. And I wish he never experienced what he did in the arms of the man I’m falling in love with.
“The Vitales seem decent and honestly, I don’t hate being with Rafaelle,” I confess tightly, my cheek growing hot. I can’t even look at Carlos as I say the words. “Especially not since he’s the father of my baby girl.”
Carlos stiffens. He clears his throat, rubbing the stubble on his cheek.
“What do you mean by that, Lily? You have a daughter?”
my tongue darts out to wet my lips as I nod, “Yes, she’s 9 months old. Her name is Milagro. But I call her Mila. She’s the reason I left the city back then. I wasn’t running from Rafaelle, Carlos. I was trying to protect my daughter. And now-” I hesitate. “I think I regret that decision.”
“No,” he snaps. “That might be the smartest thing you’ve done in this entire ordeal.”
My eyes lift to his in surprise.
“You’re na?ve, Lily. And you have no idea what type of man Rafaelle Vitale is. You want to reveal this secret now? After so long? You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t kill you and take your daughter away forever.”
“He wouldn’t do that,” I say, although the words are hollow and sound fake even to my own ears.
“Trust me, sport. He could do worse.”
My throat dries, “I know he tortured you and that was-”
“This isn’t about that,” he interrupts. “Do I think he’s a piece of shit for what he did, sure. But the Vitales are legendary in the underworld. And Rafaelle has always been the demon among them. A soulless monster with no empathy or heart.”
“He’s…he’s not soulless.”
He looked at me with a light in his eyes and showed me evidence of his heart.
“You’re acting like a child,” Carlos says harshly. “This is the same man that ordered the killing and drowning of a 15 year old boy a couple of days ago. When his body was found, his fingers had been cut off. Sound familiar?”
I reel backwards, “How do you know that?”
A muscle ticks in his jaw, “I have contacts in the mafia. I used to work in the underworld. But then I got out and turned my life around. It never really leaves you, though,” he says bitterly.
I’m surprised by the revelation, but my mind is still whirring as I come to terms with what he said about Rafaelle. Killing a 15-year-old is inhumane, and I know without a doubt that the kid didn’t deserve it.
I reassess everything I know about Rafaelle, wondering if he’s the sort of man who would harm a child like that.
Have I fallen for a version of him that only exists around me? I thought I knew his darkness. But maybe I haven’t even scratched the surface.
“Liliana,” Carlos calls, drawing me from my thoughts.
“I-I don’t know what to do.”
“You’re in a good position, Lily. If you’re truly Ignacio Navarro’s daughter, then not even Rafaelle Vitale will be able to hurt you. He would protect you.”
I frown, “What are you talking about? From what I’ve heard, this man might be worse than Rafaelle.”
“He has a reputation sure, but he values his family above all else. Why do you think he agreed to trade you? He wants his daughter back, especially after so many years of being estranged. And his granddaughter would be a protected jewel in his own. No one would be able to harm you.”
“I don’t know. It feels like I’m stuck between two impossible options.”
“Just ask yourself this. How would Rafaelle Vitale react to the knowledge of a child that’s been kept a secret from him all this while?”
A breath escapes me, “Badly.”
“Exactly. And with a man like that, bad equates death. I think you should take your chances with a father that I’m sure is yearning for your return.”
I think it all over, trying to find a flaw in his argument. But I know he’s right. The longer I stay with Rafaelle, the longer I have to go without seeing my daughter. I can’t deal with it anymore, I need to hold my baby girl in my arms and the only way I can do that is if I stick to Navarro.
If Carlos is right, he at least won’t hesitate to protect his own flesh and blood.
And that protection would extend to my daughter as well.
My only worry is my mother and what he would do to her.
Keeping me away for so many years isn’t something that can be easily forgiven.
But I have to try. This is probably the only way all my loved ones stay safe.
Something twists in my gut at the thought of what I’m going to have to do.
“When’s the trade?” Carlos questions curiously.
“Tomorrow,” I reply, my voice barely a whisper.
Tomorrow, I’m going to have to betray Rafaelle. I’m going to stab him in the back with a knife he practically placed in my hands. He showed me parts of his heart and now I have to turn my back on him and his beauty and vulnerability.
I feel sick. And I have no clue if I’ll be able to do it.