Chapter 11
11
VIVIENNE
“ I ’m not scared of the fucking Mafia.”
“The terror in your eyes says otherwise. Get him out of here.”
Chet’s accusation echoed in my head. Could he possibly be right? Or was this just another example of him stereotyping someone?
Just because Rafa was Italian didn’t mean he was in the Mafia. Maybe his reply was just a taunt to get under Chet’s skin.
Then again, it certainly would help explain the need for armed guards at the gate. Also why he had a body guard who rarely left his side. And…
My thoughts were abruptly cut off when the door to Rafa’s office swung open and Domenico dragged Chet out, kicking and screaming. When my ex’s gaze landed on me, his lips curled into a nasty sneer. “You’re not worth the hassle, bitch. You could’ve been the First Lady of Tennessee. Maybe even the country. Now you’ll have to watch a more appropriate woman take your place and have the life you’ll wish you hadn’t thrown away with your stupidity. All you’ll be is some Mafia whore.”
Ignoring the shove in the back Domenico gave him, Chet continued to taunt me. “You’ll come crawling back to me once DeLuca is tired of you. He’ll toss you aside, and then I’ll teach you the lesson you deserve.”
“You won’t do shit to her,” Domenico growled, hauling him down the hallway and out of my line of sight.
“I’m sorry you witnessed that, cara ,” Rafa murmured from behind me. “I hadn’t planned on you ever needing to see that bastard again.”
I shook my head, trying to wrap my head around what had just happened. I didn't know what to think and needed time to process it all, but being caught eavesdropping meant that I wasn’t going to get it.
There was no mistaking what I’d heard Chet say before anyone knew that I was out here, but he wasn’t the most trustworthy person. During the two years that I’d known him, Chet had spouted off about all sorts of things that weren’t true, never once doubting himself or his ridiculous beliefs. All I could do was hope that he was wrong again. And find out directly from the person who would know the veracity of his claims.
I turned toward Rafa, my stomach clenching at his wary expression. It didn’t bode well for me that he wasn’t exuding his usual confidence. His unshakable command had faltered enough for me to know that I needed to brace for what I was about to learn.
I shook my head with a deep sigh. “As much as I’m sure you’d like to, you can’t always control what other people do, Rafa.”
“Still, I should have anticipated that you would come looking for me. Then I could have saved you from that asshole’s ranting, at least,” he argued, scanning my expression with concerned eyes. “How much did you hear?”
“Enough,” I told him with a deep frown. “But I suppose it’s a good thing that I happened upon this confrontation.”
He looked at me quizzically. “Why?”
Feeling vulnerable, I crossed my arms over my chest as if I could protect myself from the emotional pain I knew was coming. “Apparently, there is a lot I don’t know about you. And I’m guessing I would never have found out about any of it if you’d been able to continue hiding them from me forever.”
I felt like there was something heavy sitting on my chest. It was reality, and the weight was threatening to suffocate me.
“Not forever, cara . I had every intention of telling you about who and what I am. I simply wanted to give you time to adjust to all the other changes in your life first.”
“I don’t know whether to believe you,” I admitted sadly. “And I’m not sure if I really want to hear the answers to all the questions swirling around in my head right now. I’m afraid of the truth.”
He took a step closer and reached for me but clenched his fists and dropped them to his side when I flinched. His dark eyes flickered with something dangerous. Not anger, but an emotion just as potent, something like desperation. “What truths are you afraid to learn about me, cara ?”
“I’m afraid to learn who you really are.”
“You know who I am, Vivienne.”
“Do I? Because I don’t recall any conversations involving that I just overheard.”
Rafa watched me with an unreadable expression and waited. After a tense minute, when I still hadn’t spoken, he said, “Ask me, cara .”
I didn’t want to, but I needed to know who Rafa really was before I got into this any deeper with him. Although, I was afraid it might be too late since I already couldn’t picture my life without him in it. But I couldn’t make any decisions until I knew the truth.
“Was Chet right?” I squeezed my eyes shut as I clarified, “Are you in the Mafia?”
The silence stretched like a noose tightening around my throat. Then he finally exhaled. “Yes. Although, we don’t really refer to ourselves that way.”
I swallowed hard, my mind racing. It was one thing to hear Chet’s accusation…but another to have Rafa confirm it.
And with that confirmation, there was no escaping the truth. The man I’d fallen in love with had been hiding a huge secret from me. An important detail that could potentially rip apart the dreams I’d only just started to allow myself to hope for.
A barrage of little things that I hadn’t thought much of rattled through my brain…like what his men called him. “You’re the boss, aren’t you?”
“No.” At my quirked brow, he explained, "Not technically. My cousin Nic is the head of the Family. I’m his underboss or right hand for our branches in the south. I’m the one who makes sure things run the way they should for him down here. I handle problems before they reach him, make sure the money flows, and keep people in line. The southern territories are all my domain, but the Georgia branch is completely under my leadership, whereas I have Capo di Provincias who oversee the others.”
At my confused expression, he clarified further. “Basically someone who is the head of a certain territory, but answers to a higher authority.”
That makes sense . But should it? What did it say about me if the man I loved being in the Mafia made sense?
Although the Mafia wasn’t talked about as much in Tennessee as the local motorcycle clubs were, something I’d heard in passing several times niggled in my brain. It took me a moment to recall what it was, and my breath hitched. “You’re the King of the South.”
His gaze never wavered. “That’s what some people call me, yes.”
I’d heard rumors about the “King of the South,” the cold-hearted, dispassionate killer who ruled this area for the DeLuca Crime Family. I hadn’t believed the stories. I thought they were just fiction, like the boogeyman. But here he was, the monster, standing before me in the flesh.
I blinked several times and shook my head, trying to clear it of all the conflicting information. My Rafa was a ruthless Mafia ruler. A killer with bloodied hands. When people spoke of him, their voices were laced with fear.
With my mind spinning, I struggled to reconcile the man standing before me with the terrifying figure whispered about in hushed conversations.
Had he been pretending with me? Was that who he really was?
Was the guy who’d been so gentle with me a lie?
“I don’t understand.” I closed my eyes and rubbed my temples. “How can you be… him and still be the man I thought I knew?” I whispered, letting my lids drift back up to observe his reaction.
Rafa took a slow step forward, his gaze locked on mine. “Nothing has changed, Vivienne. You’ve discovered another piece of me. But I’m still the man you’ve gotten to know over the past week. The man who’s been taking care of you. The one who craves you with every breath I take.”
“But how can you be both?” I pleaded, desperate to understand.
“There are many sides to every person, Vivienne . People…the world…they aren’t black and white. I live my life in the gray and the shadows. But you’re special, cara . You get a side of me that nobody else does. Not even my mother or sisters.”
My breath caught in my throat at his confession. I’d seen how much Rafa loved his little sister, but I was afraid to hope that he was hinting that he loved me too.
Did I even want him to love me anymore?
My heart pounded as if shouting at me and forcing me to admit that no matter what I’d just learned about Rafa, I still wanted that. Desperately.
“It wasn’t all a lie?” I asked, my voice trembling.
“None of it was.” His hands fisted at his sides, making me wonder if he was doing that to resist the urge to reach for me again. “My role in the Family is a big part of me. It’s the world I grew up in and shaped the man I’ve become.” This time, he put his hand out and captured mine, pressing it over his heart. “But the most important part of me, the one in here, that’s the man you know.”
His words were beautiful and spoken with so much sincerity that I wished I could just accept this new reality and forget about my inner turmoil. But it wasn’t simple, and I didn’t know if I’d ever be able to reconcile my Rafa with a merciless killer.
Pain ripped through my chest as my heart broke in half. I squeezed my eyes shut to keep the moisture gathering in them from spilling over. But a few tears escaped and slid down my cheeks. “I can’t…I don’t know…maybe I should just go.”
Rafa’s expression turned dark and fierce. His voice was rough with possession when he growled, “You’re not going anywhere, cara . You’re mine.”