Chapter 22
Emma
H e was still here.
With me. Kissing me with those punishing, rough brushes of his hard lips sealed to mine.
He wasn’t leaving.
Not without me.
He wouldn’t walk away from this gnawing, stubborn desire that linked us together. He couldn’t. Not when it felt so right to be together.
Grunting into my mouth, he kissed me so hard, so forcefully, that I was dipped backward. He didn’t allow for any separation, though, following me down as he wrapped his thick arms around my back. He hugged me close. He held me tight, in a perfect embrace that bordered on entrapment. I wanted to be trapped with him. I wanted to bask in his secure grip on me, just so long as he’d never let me go.
This was right. This was how my heart beat freely, full of love and a sense of fitting in with him. The feel of his kisses robbing me of breath, the sensation of his hard chest confining me with his arms behind me.
“I want you,” I repeated when we parted briefly for air. I didn’t care if I sounded like I was begging. I would if he wanted me to.
After the terror of hearing Antonio’s reminder that he intended to own me, to take my virginity, I was overly eager to defy him. To go for what I wanted. To seek that initial bliss and once-in-a-lifetime moment with someone of my own choosing.
Not just another man. Not any old guy.
Luke.
“You sure?” he panted, keeping our faces close as he slipped his hands around my waist. His fingers teased at the button of my shorts, thrilling me with how close I was to making this happen.
With him. Only him.
“Yes.” I framed his face, kissing him harder so there would be no room for doubts or questioning what I wanted. “Please,” I added. “I want you, Luke.”
He growled, licking at my lips. Walking me back toward the bedroom, he kept me with him, kissing and slipping his hand lower. The button was open, no obstacle against his deft fingers. The zipper tugged down.
“You’ve never done this before,” he cautioned as his fingers stroked over my panties. They were already wet, damp from my juices slipping out. Just like that, he aroused me. Just like this, he’d turned me into a mess of need. Drunk on desire.
He wasn’t asking. He assumed. I didn’t take offense. I’d masturbated. I’d kissed a few guards. But he was the first one who’d ever gotten me off. He was the first man to make me come.
I was expected to remain a virgin for my husband. That was the way of the mafia life. It was a request in arrange marriages, but it wasn’t an archaic one that anyone strictly enforced.
Women didn’t have to present bloody sheets after consummation. Doctors weren’t expected to confirm hymens were intact. In other familied they did. I heard about the rigid expectations the bratva had in New York. The strict rules in LA with the distant branches of other mafia families there. Here in Miami, among the three reigning powers, it was more of a guideline than a law.
It didn’t matter where in the world we were, one facet of the mafia lifestyle remained the same: men held the power, and women had none. Women were to be owned. Possessed.
If I sought a man to fuck, then that was that. No mafia women ever stayed pure.
I refrained, wanting to stay a virgin at twenty-five, though, until last minute, because I feared forming a connection I’d have to sever before becoming Antonio’s.
Now that the moment had come, that I had made the decision to sleep with Luke, I realized nothing would change. Luke did have power over me in this bond of desire. I was powerless to stop myself from wanting him. And if he had his way with me, raining down those brutal kisses, I was damn sure he’d own me. He could. I told him that I wanted him with the expectation he’d fuck me so well that he would possess.
He already had my heart. I trusted him with it.
He was close to owning my soul. It synced with his, two halves of a whole.
As soon as we got our clothes off, he’d have my body too. He’d own my pussy.
It had all come down to this heated moment. All that tension coiling between us would snap now. The building and slowly thickening antagonism we naturally found in each other would boil over and erupt now.
“First time,” he repeated, breathing hard as the backs of my knees hit the bed.
I nodded, kissing him like my sanity depended on it.
I acknowledged his guess, confirming that I was a virgin. I wasn’t ashamed of it. Confidence surged through me that I was right to give it to him.
I only wished the he’d be my last, too.
Tugging at his shirt, I grew bolder and more impatient to make this happen. That if we didn’t hurry, the moment would be taken from us. That the opportunity would disappear.
Now that I’d surrendered to wanting him like this, I refused to retreat. This was happening as I wanted it to. I’d be giving up my virginity for Luke, doing it on my terms. Not because someone dictated how my life should happen. Not because of any spoken agreement I had no part in.
I chose this.
I decided to make him my first.
“Please,” I repeated, convinced I wouldn’t be able to survive if he had second thoughts about taking me now that he knew I was a virgin.
He didn’t give me any indication of wanting to stop. His fingers continued rubbing back and forth, teasing me with that hint of friction where I wanted to feel all of him.
“You never have to beg me, Emma.” He kissed me as he shoved at my shorts. My panties didn’t budge, stuck with the wetness of my cream clinging to the fabric.
“You want me. Then have me,” he promised in a gritty rasp against my lips.
I tugged at his shirt, gasping in excitement when he reared back, breaking our kiss, to reach up and pull off the garment. The hard bulges of his muscles flexed with the move, and seeing his strength turned me on more. I couldn’t get enough of staring at this bad boy, this rugged, powerful fighter who’d determined that I was worthy of his protection, of his affection.
“Take whatever you want, Emma,” he growled as he returned his lips to mine and his fingers to between my legs. “You already have me.” He cupped my cheek, slowing the kisses to a tender brush. “I can’t get you out of my head.”
I leaned back to pull my shirt off. He held my arms up as he dipped low to kiss me. This time, placing his lips on the top swells of my breasts pushing up from my bra with my fast breaths.
“I can’t keep you out of here, either.” He set his hand on his chest, covering where his heart raced inside.
Oh, Luke. I whimpered with need, destroyed by his sincere words. Laying my lips on his again. I hurried to get his pants off.
I’d never given much thought into fantasizing how I’d lose my virginity. I’d never taken time to construct an elaborate dream. Why would I, when I was always doomed to end up with Antonio?
We were moving so fast, already mostly naked. I was desperate to feel him fill me. It seemed like a race, like we were hurtling through time to be united in the most intimate way possible.
But it seemed impossible to slow it down. To hit pause and take a breather so we could savor all of the heated connection bringing us close.
“I shouldn’t,” he argued without any heart to his words. “I really shouldn’t. I know better.”
I pushed his pants and boxers the rest of the way down. Wrapping my hands around his thick cock, so long and pointing at me, I stole his ability to speak such nonsense. He grunted, thrusting instinctively into my hand as I stroked up and down, feeling his dick.
“You know better,” he snarled, bidden to thrust into my grip.
I nodded, reaching up to hold his face so I could kiss him as I reveled in the velvety hard thickness of him. “This shouldn’t be happening,” I agreed.
“But I can’t fucking stop,” he warned, furrowing his brow as he picked me up and set me on the bed.
“Don’t. Please don’t stop.”
He crawled up on the bed after me, cutting me a stern look. “I said no begging,” he warned. “You don’t have to beg me for what I’ve been telling myself I can’t have.”
“Take me,” I insisted, borrowing his words. “Take me and fuck me, Luke.” I removed my bra before leaning back so he could get a good, long look of me. “I’m all yours.” I held my hands out as he continued to slide my panties off my legs. I twisted, making it easier for him until he tossed the scrap to the floor. Naked and without anything but my impatience to hold me back, I parted my legs and let him lower his heated stare on my pussy.
“Emma,” he growled as he dragged his fingers over my folds. He watched as his finger sank into me. Watching him was wicked, but I couldn’t look away from the sight of pure rapture on his face. That expression of utter longing and lust.
All for me.
He kneeled up closer, increasing the thrusts of his fingers up into my throbbing pussy. Each push in drive me closer to coming. I was halfway there to reaching an intense climax from the thrill of him watching me.
“You want this dick?” he taunted, pushing my thighs up and apart as he put himself between my legs.
Still on my elbows, I gazed up at him. “Yes.” Then I lowered to watch with him as he pushed the wide head of his cock at my hole. Glistening from my juices, I was spread open and vulnerable—yet not.
I trusted him.
“Last chance to come to reason,” he growled, breathing hard as he slipped in until the mushroomed curve was in me.
I sucked in a hard breath. Already, he stretched me so much. The burn was intense at first, but I still had so much more to take.
“I just want to come with you. Inside me.” I stared at him as he grinned, a slow, seductive smile of all male pride.
Inch by inch, he slid into me. Every bit more that he impaled me with, I fought to hold my breath and take it. To endure the foreign fullness no dildo had ever prepared me for. He was thick, long, and fuck, was this torture.
All the way in. He seated himself and waited, staring down at me as I adjusted.
“Please!” I begged.
He shook his head, leaning down to hold my ass, keeping me wrapped around his dick. Slanting over me, he picked me up until I straddled him. The change in positions blew my mind. He was deeper. I was mounted on him, stretched wide and gloving him so tight I wasn’t sure how I could move.
But he expected me to.
“You want me?” he taunted with adoration gleaming in his eyes. “Then fuck me. Take me, Emma. Take what you want.”
I kissed him as I looped my arms around his neck. He kept his hands on my hips as I pulsed around him. The fine strain in his neck suggested this was torture for him, too.
“Is this another way of proving how you think I always get what I want?” I teased.
He smiled, a gruff smirk of satisfaction.
“Is this another way of proving how I’ll move heaven and earth to make sure you get what you want?”
I didn’t know what I did to ever deserve this. To be so fortunate to meet him.
He had no clue how much this mattered. That he was giving me control. That he was letting this be my choice.
“Don’t make me fall in love with you, Luke.”
I couldn’t bear the thought of leaving him for Antonio, like I would be expected to. Nothing could stop them from taking me. But just for this moment, for this night, I wanted to grab life and not let go. To have all I could with him, because the memories would have to last me a lifetime.
“Don’t make me second-guess that I already am in love you with,” he retorted.
He gripped my ass, urging me to lift up.
“Now fuck me.”
I did.
Wincing at the burn of his stretch, I did. Under his guidance, his hands showing me how to lift up then sink back down on him, I did.
I fucked Luke the best I could, taking charge of how I’d lose my virginity.
But before long, with every drag of his dick spearing up into my needy pussy, it felt more like making love. Between kisses and panted pulls of air as we raced to come, I stared into his eyes and knew this wasn’t just sex.
This was his soul meeting with mine.
My heart beating with his.
Nothing else mattered. Only this race to come. When I did, I cried out with such a blinding hit of bliss that I staggered. I ceased riding him, so overcome with the intensity of this orgasm that rendered me speechless. Thoughtless. My mind shuttered into a blank haze of pleasure as I clenched around him, riding the waves of release.
He took over, thrusting up into me as I collapsed. Holding me close, his arms torquing around me as he kissed me hard, he pushed up into once, twice more, until his dick jerked.
“Fuck!” he roared, ripping his mouth from mine as he held me down on his hips, as if he could go any deeper.
His hot cum filled me, and as I shivered at the increased pressure of pleasure, I closed my eyes in relief.
In joy.
I was no longer a virgin.
And I’d made that happen in the best of ways, on my terms.
With the man I loved.