Chapter Three
Seth had been thinking about Ryan. He’d been thinking about Ryan more than was necessary and probably healthy. It was as if now that he’d talked to the man, he couldn’t stop obsessing over him, and he wasn’t sure what that said about him.
He couldn’t have a relationship with Ryan.
How was he supposed to trust anyone, let alone a mage who, just a few weeks ago, wouldn’t have hesitated to attack him?
Seth knew that Ryan would have only done so if he’d been ordered to, but that didn’t take away from the fact that Ryan would’ve done it. How was Seth supposed to ignore that?
Part of him could, apparently. When he thought about Ryan, he didn’t think about the fact that Ryan could have attacked him if the circumstances had been different.
He didn’t think about the fact that Ryan was a mage and had belonged to a coven that didn’t think anything of hurting people.
The few times they’d talked, Seth had been able to see the truth.
Ryan was here with his family because he cared about them and because he didn’t want to hurt people.
If even knowing that Ryan was a mage and dangerous couldn’t keep Seth away from him, Seth wasn’t sure if anything could. It scared him. He didn’t know what that meant about him. It was almost like he didn’t know himself anymore.
Would that be enough to keep him away from Ryan? He didn’t think so. So far, he hadn’t talked to the mage again, but he was planning to. He just had to decide when and where.
“Okay, that’s enough,” Theo said. His voice cut straight through Seth’s thoughts, startling him. For a second, he wondered what was happening, but one look at his brother’s face told him all he needed to know.
“You’ve been distracted,” Theo accused.
“Is it a crime?” Seth asked, hoping to keep the situation light and avoid his brother digging into it.
Theo glanced at the TV screen. They were watching the latest episode of their favorite show, and Seth hadn’t even noticed that Theo had paused it. He could understand why Theo was annoyed since he’d asked Theo to wait to watch the episode until they could do so together.
“I’m sorry,” he quickly said.
“The show doesn’t matter. I’m worried about you.”
“You have nothing to worry about. I’m fine.”
“Sure you are. That’s why you’ve been staring at the screen without seeing it for the past half-hour.” Theo hesitated. “You know you can talk to me, right? If I ever did something that made you feel like you couldn’t, I’m sorry.”
Seth grimaced. He didn’t want Theo to feel guilty about anything, especially when he hadn’t done anything to feel sorry for. “You didn’t do anything,” he said, reassuring his brother.
“Are you sure? Because you used to tell me everything.”
“When I was a teenager, sure.”
Theo’s lips quirked. “Are you telling me that you’re not a teenager anymore?”
“I’m twenty-one, Theo.”
“Oh? I thought you were twenty, or at least, that’s what you said the other day.”
“You’re not as funny as you think you are,” Seth grumbled.
“I’m hilarious,” Theo said with a smile before hesitating again.
Seth hated that this was how things had been between them lately. It was as if Theo was afraid to ask questions. Seth didn’t think he’d done anything to make his brother feel that way, but maybe he was wrong.
They’d been so close before that Seth had never expected that to change.
In hindsight, he should have. Of course they’d been close when they’d only had each other.
They’d always been close, even before the mess with their parents, but their bond had strengthened over the years.
Even after their pack had grown, they’d always been each other’s ride-or-die.
Until Theo had met Chance.
Seth wasn’t jealous of the alpha. He wanted his brother to be happy, and Chance made that happen. Seth just wasn’t sure where that left them. They had time to figure things out, or at least, he’d thought they did. Now, it was clear that Theo didn’t feel the same way.
Seth cleared his throat. “I never meant to push you away, so I’m sorry if that’s how I made you feel. I was just giving you space with Chance. You deserve it.”
“I also deserve to spend time with my brother. It’s almost like you don’t trust me anymore. Is it because I’m dating Chance?”
It took Seth a moment to understand what Theo was saying. “I don’t care if you’re dating the alpha. Honestly, I’m not surprised that you are. You were a good alpha to us. “
Theo shrugged. “I’m still not sure about that, but I don’t think it matters anymore.”
“No, it doesn’t. I miss you. I just didn’t want to be too much.”
“You could never be too much.”
Seth wasn’t sure that was true, but he’d take it. “I’ve just been distracted lately.”
“I noticed. Care to tell me what’s gotten you distracted? Or who, maybe?”
Seth groaned. “You already know.”
“I know everything.”
“I really hope you don’t because that would be mortifying.”
Theo shrugged. “Tell me about Ryan.”
“There’s not much to say. We talked a few times, and I checked in on him after that mess with Christian and Tim, but that’s it.”
“There has to be more to it if you’re still thinking about him like that.”
“I think he’s cute, and I’m worried about him.”
Theo slowly nodded. Seth looked away, but he could feel his brother watching him. It made him want to squirm. Theo had always been the one person who could see right through Seth’s bullshit. He also wouldn’t hesitate to call Seth out on it.
“I think you’re interested in him,” Theo eventually said.
“I said I think he’s cute.”
“But I also think you’re afraid,” Theo continued as if Seth hadn’t just spoken. “I know why. I was afraid when I met Chance, too, but what they did to you was worse than what they did to me. I understand why you feel like you’ll never be able to trust anyone, but you need to let it go.”
Seth snorted. “How am I supposed to do that? Every time I look at myself in the mirror, I’m reminded of what they did.” The scars wouldn’t let him forget.
“I never said it would be easy. I just don’t want to see you ruin something that could potentially be good because of them.
They’ve already taken enough from us. Now that we’ve won against all odds, I don’t want them to continue taking from us.
I’m not saying that you need to trust Ryan right away or that it won’t take you time, but talking to him would be a nice first step, wouldn’t it?
No one’s saying that you need to be with him if you don’t feel ready to be.
Just give him a chance, all right? He might become a friend, or he might be the love of your life. ”
Seth chuckled because he couldn’t imagine what that would be like, but Theo’s expression told him that his brother was serious. He believed what he was saying. “You think a mage is the love of my life?” Seth asked.
“Why not? Ryan isn’t a bad person. He did the right thing when he was given the opportunity. I’m not saying he’s perfect, but then, no one is.”
“Not even Chance?”
Theo barked out a laugh. “Especially not Chance. He’s messy and likes to order people around even when he shouldn’t.”
“He’s the alpha.”
“Not when we’re alone.”
Seth groaned. “Please. I don’t want to think about you and Chance doing that.”
“Doing what? You’re the one who’s turning this sexual.”
“I’m not. Trust me, there’s nothing I want less than to think of you and Chance doing that.”
“Then don’t. But, Seth, no one’s perfect. Even if Ryan ends up being the love of your life, he’ll hurt you. He might even break your trust and your heart. You won’t know until you give him a chance, and I hope that you will. You both deserve to be happy, but you especially.”
“You only think that because you’re my brother.”
“Maybe, or maybe I think that because it’s the truth. We’ve been through enough. Don’t allow our parents to ruin your future, Seth. They don’t deserve to have that kind of power over you.”
Seth agreed. He just wasn’t sure how he was supposed not to give them that power.
* * * *
THE IMPATIENT KNOCK on Ryan’s bedroom door didn’t bode well.
He’d been avoiding his parents since the pack meeting, and he wanted to continue doing so.
They wanted answers, but he had none to give them, or rather, none that would make them happy.
Their family was here because they needed to be safe.
They’d left the coven so they wouldn’t have to worry about something happening to them ever again, yet here they were.
It probably wasn’t smart of Ryan to hide the truth from his parents, but he didn’t think anything else would happen.
Chance had been clear during the meeting.
If the pack members wanted to continue being pack members, they’d have to leave Ryan and the other mages alone.
“I know you’re in there,” Madeleine called out.
Ryan relaxed. His sister knew what had happened, and she’d already told him what she thought of it, so it was safe to talk to her. “What?”
“There’s someone at the door for you.”
That wasn’t what Ryan had expected. “Who?” he asked as he pushed up from his bed.
“Wouldn’t you like to know?”
He swung the door open and glared at his sister. “Yes, that’s why I asked. Who is it?”
“You wouldn’t happen to have made friends with a certain polar bear shifter, would you?”
Ryan blinked. “I’m sorry?”
Madeleine rolled her eyes. “It’s the alpha mate’s brother.”
“Well, I didn’t think it was the alpha mate since I’ve never talked to him. What does Seth want?”
“Oh, we’re calling him by his name now?”
“What else am I supposed to call him? Alpha mate’s brother?”
“I don’t know what he wants. Except to see you, of course.”
But why? Seth had been nice yesterday, and Ryan couldn’t say he was sorry to have the opportunity to talk to him, but he didn’t understand.