Chapter Eight #2
True to her words, Lara returned a few minutes later and, after sharing a glance with her maid, walked over and sat next to him at the table.
Once she’d been served wine, he gestured to the servants and they began placing platters of roasted meats and fish before them.
Sebastien had explained to them the foods he wanted served and how he wanted the meal to be done.
As he’d ordered, the table was filled with a selection of her favorites, ones revealed to him by the old cook, whom he had kept on in the kitchens.
If she recognized them, she did not say, but her gaze moved from dish to dish, and every so often he noticed a smile on her lips. Once everything was in place, the servants bowed and left. Lara turned and seemed to stare at the closed door for a minute. He waited for her to turn back and face him.
“I hear that you have not been eating lately,” he began. “Your cook said these were some of your favorite dishes and I thought to entice you with them.”
“Thank you for your thoughtfulness, sir, but there is more than needed for only the two of us. Should we not invite Malcolm and Catriona to sup with us? I am certain Malcolm would be interested in discussing the fight he witnessed earlier.”
Sebastien could not help it—the laugh escaped before he could stop it. “They are eating elsewhere and are well cared for, lady.”
She worried her lower lip between her teeth and gazed at the dishes again.
He lifted a platter of thick slices of beef to her.
The succulent aroma made his own stomach grumble.
He thought she might refuse, but then nodded in agreement.
Placing a slice on the plate in front of him, he cut it into smaller pieces and offered them to her.
Sebastien watched as she scooped some onto her own plate and then skewered one with her eating dagger.
There was a moment when she bit into the well-cooked and well-spiced meat that a look of satisfaction crossed her face.
He wondered what that was about, but did not ask.
Instead, he took samples from most of the dishes and placed them on her plate.
She began to eat with enthusiasm, so he considered how he could begin their talk.
He waited for her to eat a substantial amount before starting.
From watching her these last few weeks and from the questions he asked of those closest to her, he knew that when she was upset, she did not eat.
So he knew that her visit to the chapel had not soothed her at all, and he wondered why not.
Had it only been the incident in the yard that had distressed her?
Sebastien reached over and refilled the goblet in front of her. “There is ale, if you prefer it.”
“Nay, the wine is quite good.” She sipped it. “Another gift from the Bruce?”
“The same. He gave us a keg of his favorite to…”
“To mark our wedding.” She finished the statement when he paused.
Now it was his turn to swallow deeply from his own cup. She’d mentioned it in a matter-of-fact manner. “Aye.”
“What else did he give you for marrying me? What honors were heaped on you for taking the enemy’s daughter as your wife? Or should I ask what offense you committed to be sentenced to such an arrangement?” Her blue eyes narrowed as she asked.
The sharp edge of sarcasm filled her voice and he answered in kind.
“I gained no rich rewards or honors by our marriage. I but obeyed my king’s orders.
We needed to secure the castle and the claim to the MacDougall’s lands and you were the means of that.
” If such things were to come from the king, so be it; he need not confirm it to her yet.
She lost all color from her cheeks and he regretted immediately the harshness in his tone.
Why did he allow her to goad him into this kind of exchange?
He read her pattern of behavior clearly—that was one advantage of his years as a spy.
Sebastien could watch individuals over a period of time and learn their secrets by what they did and how they did it.
Lara would be even more upset when she realized this about him. In spite of her efforts not to give away anything about herself, he’d already discovered many things about her.
She had an incredible amount of vigor and needed to have that force of life directed into usefulness or she got herself in trouble.
She knew much more about her father and her clan’s battle plans than she wanted Sebastien to realize.
And although she put on a brave and confident face, she suffered from an intense insecurity when it came to her own worth.
Tales of how she constantly tried to achieve more than would be expected of a daughter, even the esteemed Maid of Lorne, had been shared with him.
The most important thing he’d discovered about her was something she’d revealed during their last few encounters.
Lara used her anger as a shield when her fears were touched.
When something or someone threatened to expose that timidity that she kept under tight control, she struck out like an angry bee—stinging the one who came too close.
He’d learned that after feeling the stab himself.
“Come now, Lara. If you have questions, simply ask them of me and do not try to bait me to strike out at you in words or with my hands.”
He watched as she cleared her throat and thought on his words. Good, she was thinking before striking out again. He could teach her to trust him—it would just take time.
“What will you do with me now that I am not breeding?”
A momentary pang of regret filled him at this news. Ah, so that was what required her to visit her chambers before coming here, and what caused her maid to blush. “Your courses are…”
“Aye.” She glanced away and would not meet his gaze.
“Things will not always be as they are now, Lara. This place will not be your prison for much longer.”
“What do you mean? Will you put me aside, then? Or will your king intercede to end this marriage?”
“We face many uncertainties in these next months and years. The king has not yet announced his decision for the final disposition of MacDougall lands. I think it best to wait for his word in this.”
He knew so much more, but could not share it with her or anyone yet. Within a week, all would be made clear and everyone would know that their marriage was not some temporary arrangement to be cast aside when the king moved on from here in pursuit of his kingdom.
She stood and walked to the hearth, leaning over it silently for a short time. Then, she looked at him. “I am certain I know what your king wants in this, but tell me of Sebastien of Cleish and what he wants?”
He needed no time to think on his words. “First, I am a faithful vassal of my king, and second, a man who sometimes wants too much too quickly. But ’tis the Bruce’s wishes that will decide the matter.”
Her eyes were haunted now, with some intangible emotion that he could not name. “You know your place. What is to become of me now that you and your king are here?”
“Mayhap if we begin by asking who is the Maid of Lorne and what does she desire?” He asked the question to her now and waited to hear the description she would choose—it would say much about her.
“I am a woman with no father and no family and no home to call her own. I am a woman who gave herself to her enemy. I am the Maid of Lorne no more.” Her voice shook in its desolation.
He stood and walked up behind her. Reaching out, he slipped his arm around her shoulders and drew her back against him. She stilled in his embrace, but did not pull away. Sebastien whispered in her ear.
“Do not despair, Lara. Many others have been in similar circumstances and survived, even made good lives of bad beginnings. The Bruce is a fair man and I trust his judgment in this matter.”
She did not move or acknowledge his words at all, so he released her and stepped back. “I must go on a mission for the king soon and will leave Hugh in charge of Dunstaffnage. No harm will come to you while he is in command here.”
The emptiness in her gaze unsettled him, and he acknowledged that he would rather face her anger or her confusion or any other emotion she could feel rather than this melancholy. How could he draw forth her anger?
“You asked what I want, Lara. What does Sebastien of Cleish want? I want you, Lara. I want to hold you and feel your body as it heats to my touch. I want you to open to me and I want to fill you with myself.”
She met his eyes and hers widened as she recognized the pure lust and wanting he was feeling at that moment.
He took a step closer and she took one back.
Finally, he reached across the gap between them, pulled her into his arms and kissed her the way he’d wanted to all night.
Indeed, the way he’d wanted to since the night they were wed.
He slid his hands to each side of her head and held her still as his mouth claimed hers.
He took advantage of her surprise to taste her deeply, to touch his tongue to hers and to press his mouth to hers, over and over again.
He stared into her eyes until she closed them.
Sebastien felt her hands come up onto his wrists as though she would stop him, but she did not.
And she did not pull away from him or his kisses.
Soon they were both out of breath from the intensity of his plundering. He leaned away and slid his hands down her neck and over her shoulders. He grazed her breasts with the backs of his fingers as they moved down to grasp hers. The shudder that moved through her stirred him even more.
“We do not have to be enemies, Lara. We can be husband and wife, man and woman.”
As though opening the shutters in a dark room, his words pierced through the seduction he wove around her, and brought her to herself. Not even a day had passed since her cousin had accused her of whoring with the enemy, and she stood her ready to give herself over to his passions.