Chapter 34 – Sidney #2
“That isn’t fair, Grayson.”
His chuckle fills the air as he looks at me over the edge of his bottle as he tips it up. “It doesn’t seem that life is fair much at all.”
When I rise from my seat, I have no idea what my intentions are, but I make my way across the short distance and stop right in front of him.
We stare at each other for a moment as the crickets continue to sing and the moths fly in front of the porch light, casting shadows that shift and dance around us.
“And when you tire of Sunnyville like you did before . . . what then? Where to then?”
I stare at him and am thankful for the shadow over my face because I realize that I never told him I was leaving. I never explained to him that after this contest, I was moving on.
For the life of me, I can’t bring myself to say the words.
I can’t make myself tell him that I’ll be leaving in a few months.
Telling him about my dream job was my subtle way of letting him know that I’m not here long term .
. . and yet I fumble with what to say because the thought of not being near him is suddenly unwelcome.
When I finally speak, my words are soft and my voice breaks.
“Just because I like my red soles, doesn’t mean I wouldn’t fit in here if I wanted to. I did once.”
“You did once because you were born here, but from what I remember, you were always itching for more of the limelight. You’d sit in that diner and talk about all the places you wanted to go, while some of your friends talked about the next party, the next whatever that wouldn’t mean shit once you graduated. ”
I stare at him, a little shocked, a lot moved. “You really paid attention, didn’t you?”
We spent so many nights in that diner. So many nights filling space and being obnoxious—throwing our napkins and straws on the floor and not caring that he was going to have to clean them up.
So many hours of mindless chatter after the diner had closed, none of us caring about the boy named Gray behind the counter who probably wanted to go home.
“It was hard to ignore you when your crew would take over Lulu’s for hours on end.” He lifts his eyebrows as if to say he didn’t have a choice.
“Speaking of that . . .” I take a deep breath.
“I owe you an apology for how I acted back then. I was immature, and you were always nice regardless of how rude we were or how late we kept you when I’m sure you wanted to clock out.
I’m not that girl anymore. The one who was so wrapped up in herself she’d rather ignore someone else than risk looking uncool to her friends. ”
He just stares at me with a nod that’s meaning I can’t discern.
Our gazes hold, his blue eyes to my brown, as we try to wade through this conversation that is bringing up things people talk about when they are in a relationship.
Things people talk about when they are trying to understand each other better.
“We all change.” He takes a long sip of his beer. “So, when you left here, did you find what you were looking for, Sidney? Is your sterile glass tower warm at night? I might not live the high-life, but my house is warm and full of laughter and love and little-boy cooties.”
I hesitate to respond. I hate that his words make me realize how many nights I go to bed alone, and even though I tell myself that’s what I want, I remember how I felt a few weeks back when Luke was chatting and Grayson was on his iPad and everything felt so very different from what I’m used to.
“Maybe I was itching for the limelight, Grayson, but you can’t fault someone for wanting to spread their wings.
Like you said, people change. People try things and see if they like them.
If they don’t, then they adjust and try again.
You changed. You used to be shy and unassertive, and you’re neither anymore. Should I fault you for being that way?”
“No. I learned from my mistakes.”
He stares at me, that muscle pulsing in his jaw and his subtle scent of shampoo and soap filling my nose. There are so many things he wants to say written in those eyes of his.
“We’ve done enough talking, Malone,” I murmur as I take the initiative for the first time since we’ve met. I lean forward and kiss him. Gently. Slowly. Teasingly. His body jolts in surprise. “You canceled our date.”
Another kiss. A slide of his hand up my back to pull me into the V of his thighs where he’s sitting on the railing. Another soft sigh into the night.
“I figured you’d had enough of my crazy life.” He chuckles and then meets my lips again.
“Not crazy. Just protective.” Our lips brush over each other’s as we speak. His hand cups the back of my neck. His thighs squeeze gently against mine. “I’m sorry about yesterday. I didn’t mean to upset you, and I didn’t look at the situation through your eyes or Luke’s.”
“I’m sorry I went off the deep end.”
“Not that I’m any judge of it, but you really are a good father. You just need to remember that it’s okay to be a man, too.”
He guides my hand to rest atop where his dick is hard and presses against the fabric of his shorts. “Is that man enough for you?” I chuckle against his lips.
Just the feel of him hard for me sends a hit of desire straight to the delta of my thighs.
“Is this the part where we kiss and make up?” I ask as every sense goes on high alert at the mere promise of another kiss. Of another touch. Of him.
Our lips meet. Our tongues dance. Our bodies react.
“I like this part,” he murmurs as one hand slides under the back of my shirt so that his fingers skim along the skin just above my waistband.
He drugs me with his mouth. He entices me with his touch.
He makes me anticipate with that groan in the back of his throat.
“Luke’s inside,” he murmurs against my lips and rests his forehead against mine.
“And?”
“And what if he wakes up?”
“It seems you have eyes in the back of your head when it comes to him, so I think it would be perfectly fine if you kissed me.”
“Like this?”
His lips possess mine. Thoroughly. Intoxicatingly.
“Just like that.”