Isaac
“Ahh, every time a season comes to an end, I find myself a little…wistful.” Reggie sighed as he stood outside with me, bundled up against the chilly weather.
I glanced at his red cheeks and his smile, my lips twitching. “Is that so?”
“Yes,” he said promptly. “You’d think I’d have grown used to it after a few years, but it has yet to happen. I guess I can’t help but get attached to you all, and each end of season I don’t always know who will return or when.”
I glanced at the group of men waiting for the transport vans. Most guests arrived and left that way. The main stop being the bus depot down the mountains. Some took private vehicles or were picked up. But all went back to their lives, maybe to return another time.
I blinked. “Huh, seasons.”
Reggie glanced at me. “That was Marc’s idea. Having people stay for most of one season, then a few weeks' break, so we can do maintenance. Then, into the next season, and we welcome new or returning guests. It’s working well.”
“There’s a synergy to it that I appreciate,” I said, chuckling. “It feels ritualistic, symbolic.”
“Fun fact. There’s symbolism to each of the seasons,” he said with a smirk.
I rolled my eyes. “Please, if you try hard enough, there’s symbolism in everything.”
“True, cynical but true,” he said. “Call me romantic, but I notice symbolism for some things has become literal. At least here.”
I snorted. “I remember hearing that you tended toward…mystical thinking.”
“Marc needs to stop telling people that.” Reggie frowned, but I didn’t believe he was annoyed.
Any time he spoke about Mr. Shepherd, there was a quiet glow about him that he wasn’t aware of or couldn’t bring himself to conceal.
I knew love when I saw it, but like so many secrets, I would keep that one.
“I won’t be coming back,” I told him, as the luggage was put in the vans and men started to get in. “I realize I needed to come here, but coming back would be pointless.”
“Would it?” he asked lightly.
I nodded. “It would. I found what I came here for. Time here doesn’t pass as it does in the real world.
Arete is separated from reality, which is what people need to heal.
But once you’ve reached a point in healing, there’s no reason to come back.
It would just be an escape from reality, from my life.
The best thing I can do is start living again and make something of my life. ”
He grunted thoughtfully. “And if you were to return for another reason?”
Confused, I looked at him. “Well, if Clay decides to return to Arete, I would want to visit him.”
The reminder of Clay when I was about to leave for good gave me mixed feelings.
I hurt for him in the midst of his hurt, but I knew he was where he needed to be.
I’d had a brief call in the two weeks he’d been in the inpatient facility.
It was a place with a similar attitude to Arete.
They tried to limit patients’ connections to the outside world, a safety bubble.
He had seemed off, but I’d expected that.
There had been so much pain and despair locked deep in his heart, he was bound to be different now he couldn’t contain it.
He’d sworn up and down he was trying to keep to the treatment plan, though he sounded grumpy about that.
His annoyance was comforting because it meant the man I’d come to know wasn’t completely lost.
“We try to keep outside visitors to a minimum, but there are always exceptions to be made on a case-by-case basis. If Clay returns, I’m sure your request would be approved, all things considered.”
“How generous of you…and Arete.”
“I know, right?” he said with a laugh. “But I wasn’t referring to you being a visitor for Clay.”
I raised a brow, rubbing my hands together as it began to snow. “Then what?”
“As much as this place, and the staff, played a part in Clay’s treatment, the true credit should go to you,” he said, holding up a hand as one of the drivers gave us an impatient look.
“That’s generous but delusional,” I said, sensing this was why he was talking to me.
“Not particularly,” he chuckled. “You forget, I talk to Luka a lot, and he’s told me things.
“Uh-huh,” I said doubtfully. “I sense you’re trying to work your way around to a point.”
“Well, I would have gotten there,” he said with a huff.
Luka’s voice piped up behind us. “Ignore him, Isaac. Reggie has a flair for the dramatic and forgets people have other things to do rather than stand around, freezing.”
Reggie sighed, sounding aggrieved. “No one understands the importance of presentation anymore.”
I turned to Luka, who’d thrown on a thick coat and hat before coming outside. “What is his point?”
“He agrees with me that you have the potential to be a Guide. If you want to be.”
I stared at him and glanced sidelong at Reggie. “That was the point you were trying to make with your big presentation?”
Reggie frowned. “Well, excuse me for trying to give the topic the gravitas it deserved.”
“Did it deserve it?”
“Hey, I take care of the guests at Arete with a great deal of seriousness. Which means I’m just as serious about choosing staff. When anyone sees someone with potential, I pay attention.”
“I’m not sure I’m what you’re looking for,” I said with a shrug.
“Why not?” Luka asked. “Is it because of the escort thing?”
“That plays a part,” I admitted.
“Well, you don’t have to go around telling people that’s what you did. And if you did, so what? There’s nothing wrong with it,” Reggie said with a snort. “Even I saw that you’re empathetic and observant. You know when to let people be who they are while coaxing them to be more.”
“Look what you managed with Clay,” Luka said, smiling.
“That’s different,” I protested. “He and I—”
“I know,” Luka said. “I’m not stupid. Before you, Clay never let anyone stay in his room except Cade, but they were like brothers. But you? He stayed with you and you with him, and people noticed and gossiped…a lot.”
“Seriously, people think men don’t gossip, but a few weeks here would change their minds in a heartbeat,” Reggie said, squeezing my shoulder. “Give it some thought. It’s an open offer, no time limit. I’m sure you have things to deal with first.”
“That’s putting it mildly,” I said, surprised by the offer. “I’m not quite sure what to say.”
“Don’t say anything,” Luka said, grinning as he stepped forward, and I accepted the hug. “Just think on it. Do what you need to do to make something of life, and…tell Clay we look forward to seeing him if he decides to come back.”
“Sure,” I said, squeezing him and holding out my hand to Reggie. “It’s been…an experience.”
He chuckled and shook my hand. “That’s what they tell me. I think it’s a good thing.”
“Overall, yes,” I said, chuckling. “Take care, both of you.”
“Hey!” Cade’s loud voice boomed across the drive from over by the bus, intentionally banging his metal leg against the van. “Ya comin’ or ya gonna wait for next season?”
Snorting, I gave Reggie and Luka a final wave and walked to the van, where Cade was waiting impatiently. I slid in after him. There were a couple of other guys, so I closed the door and gave the driver an apologetic smile.
“Everythin’ alright?” Cade asked.
“Yes,” I assured him. “Just saying goodbye, and—”
Cade’s gaze swept my face, reading my emotions and frowning. “What?”
I glanced over my shoulder. No one was paying attention, so I shrugged and said, “They offered me a job as a Guide.”
His eye widened in shock, then a smile broke out. “Yeah? That’s great!”
“Is it?” I wondered. “I didn’t see it coming.”
“I mean,” he said, wincing as we drove onto the bumpier path through the woods. “I ain’t gonna say I knew it, but it makes sense. You’re good with people, and ya wanna help when ya can.”
“Perhaps,” I said thoughtfully, staring out the window, watching the trees slide by. “I suppose my work allowed me to learn the skills that would help.”
“I’m kinda hearin’ a but,” Cade said with a snort.
“But,” I said, smiling, “I’m not sure it’s the sort of job I should be doing.”
“What? Why?”
“Because I… Part of the reason I came here was to escape the person I was as an escort. To be, well, to remember how to be me rather than someone else…for someone else.”
Cade wrinkled his nose. “Yeah, ya got a point, but also ya don’t.”
“Meaning?”
“Meanin’ ya seem to have that part figured out.
I dunno how much. Bein’ a Guide isn’t like pretendin’ to be whatever for someone else.
You’d be yourself. Able to do the stuff you’re good at.
I dunno if ya want to spend your time helpin’ ’cause I know that ain’t for everyone.
And it’s gotta be exhaustin’. But if you think it’d be good for ya… I think you’d be great.”
I smiled. “Thank you, Cade. That means a lot.”
“How long till they need to know?”
“It’s an open offer, so no time limit.”
“Well, that’s even better,” he said with a grin. “Now ya don’t have to worry about it if ya don’t wanna. Right?”
I looked at him before chuckling. “Right. Thank you, Cade. It’s nice to have someone put things in perspective.”
“Aww, ain’t nothin’.” He grinned. “So, uh, what’re ya doing when ya get to the depot?”
I knew what he was asking, and I smiled. “Take the bus down to Denver airport and fly out. I still have my apartment in Chicago, so I’ll stay there a few days, then on to Seattle.”
“Clay,” he grunted.
“Clay,” I agreed.
Despite the facility minimizing patients’ exposure to the world, they allowed short-term visitors.
If they thought it would help…or at least not hurt.
I’d called ahead and discussed visiting, and they said I’d have to wait.
I was anxious to look him in the eye and see what was going on in his head.
Ever since Clay had left Arete, I’d tried to distract myself.
I knew Clay was in a place where his chances of healing were maximized, but it was hard to have only a brief phone call.
Cade sighed. “I wish I could come with ya.”
“You could,” I said gently.