Chapter 6 The Bump #2
Nathaniel watched his expression change.
There was no happiness in it.
Only uncertainty.
Evan lowered his hand and pulled the sweater down.
Nathaniel knocked softly against the doorframe.
Evan looked around.
"Oh."
Nathaniel remained where he was.
"Can I come in?"
Evan nodded.
Nathaniel stepped inside.
"You stole my sweater."
Evan looked down at it.
"I borrowed it."
"Without asking."
"I was cold."
"You could have asked."
"I knew you'd say yes."
Nathaniel smiled.
"Then why didn't you?"
"Because I didn't want you to know I was wearing something three sizes too big."
Nathaniel's smile disappeared.
He understood.
Evan turned back toward the mirror.
"I look ridiculous."
"No."
"I do."
"You don't."
Evan sighed.
"You don't have to say that."
"I know."
Nathaniel moved closer.
Evan kept his eyes on the mirror.
"I can't wear anything without noticing it now."
Nathaniel listened.
"My clothes feel different. My body looks different. People stare. I know they do."
"Some people probably do."
Evan looked at him through the mirror.
"That's not helping."
"I'm not trying to pretend it isn't happening."
Nathaniel paused.
"I'm trying to tell you that other people's reactions don't change what I see."
Evan looked away.
Nathaniel took another step.
"You are changing."
"I know."
"Your body is changing because you're carrying our child."
Evan's jaw tightened.
"I know that too."
"But that doesn't mean you've become someone else."
Evan turned around.
"You say that like it's easy."
"I don't think it's easy."
"Then what am I supposed to do?"
Nathaniel shook his head.
"I don't have an answer."
That seemed to surprise Evan.
Nathaniel continued.
"I can't tell you how to feel about your body. I can't tell you that you should be comfortable when you're not. I can only tell you what I see."
Evan looked at him.
"And what do you see?"
Nathaniel didn't hesitate.
"You."
Evan's expression softened.
Nathaniel took a breath.
"I see the man who challenges me every time I try to protect him too much. I see the man who refuses to let his circumstances define him. I see the man who built a life without depending on me and who insisted on keeping it even after moving into my house."
A faint smile appeared on Evan's face.
Nathaniel smiled back.
"I see the man who argues with me over breakfast."
"Because you're always trying to make me eat more."
"Because you forget to eat."
"I don't forget."
"You do."
Evan laughed quietly.
The tension eased.
Nathaniel looked at him again.
"And I still find you incredibly attractive."
The smile disappeared from Evan's face.
Not because he disliked the words.
Because they mattered.
Nathaniel could see that.
Evan looked down.
"Even now?"
Nathaniel's chest tightened.
"Especially now."
Evan's eyes lifted.
Nathaniel moved closer but stopped before touching him.
"Your pregnancy hasn't made you less attractive to me."
Evan swallowed.
"Sometimes I don't feel attractive."
"I know."
"I feel exposed."
"I know."
"I don't like people noticing me."
"You don't have to like it."
Evan's voice became quieter.
"I'm scared you'll stop seeing me."
Nathaniel stared at him.
"That will never happen."
Evan looked uncertain.
Nathaniel wanted to erase that uncertainty.
He wanted to reach out and hold him, but he knew this moment wasn't about what Nathaniel wanted.
It was about what Evan needed.
So he waited.
After a few seconds, Nathaniel asked, "Can I touch you?"
Evan's eyes moved to Nathaniel's hand.
"Where?"
Nathaniel glanced toward Evan's stomach.
"Here."
Evan's breathing changed.
For a moment, Nathaniel thought he might say no.
Instead, Evan nodded.
"Okay."
Nathaniel moved slowly.
He lifted his hand and stopped just before touching the sweater.
"Still okay?"
Evan nodded.
"Yes."
Nathaniel placed his palm gently against Evan's growing bump.
There was no pressure.
No urgency.
Just warmth.
For several seconds, neither of them moved.
Nathaniel had touched Evan before.
Their hands had brushed.
They had kissed.
He had held Evan during difficult moments.
But this felt different.
His hand rested over the place where their child was growing.
Evan covered Nathaniel's hand with his own.
Nathaniel looked down.
Something inside him shifted.
The room became impossibly quiet.
He could feel Evan's warmth through the fabric.
He could feel the steady rise and fall of Evan's breathing.
And suddenly Nathaniel wasn't thinking about responsibility.
He wasn't thinking about Richard.
He wasn't thinking about the age gap or the complications waiting for them.
He was thinking about Evan.
The man beneath his hand.
The man who had trusted him enough to let him see this vulnerable side.
Nathaniel looked at Evan.
Evan's eyes were shining.
"You okay?" Nathaniel asked.
Evan nodded.
"Yeah."
Nathaniel's thumb moved gently across the fabric.
"I wish you could see yourself the way I do."
Evan gave a small, uncertain smile.
"How do you see me?"
Nathaniel knew the honest answer would change something.
He said it anyway.
"Beautiful."
Evan's eyes filled with tears.
He looked away.
Nathaniel didn't try to stop him.
Evan leaned forward until his forehead rested lightly against Nathaniel's shoulder.
Nathaniel remained still.
Then he lifted his free arm and gently wrapped it around Evan.
They stood that way for a long time.
Nathaniel felt Evan's breathing slowly settle.
His hand remained against the bump.
He could barely comprehend how much had changed.
Only weeks ago, he had convinced himself that his attraction to Evan was something he could control.
Then came the kiss.
The pregnancy.
The appointments.
The house.
The late-night conversations.
The quiet breakfasts.
And now this.
He realized he had crossed an invisible line somewhere between responsibility and love.
The realization frightened him.
But it also felt undeniable.
He loved this man.
Maybe he had been falling in love with him long before he was willing to admit it.
Maybe the pregnancy had simply stripped away the excuses Nathaniel had been using to avoid recognizing it.
He wasn't protecting the baby because it was his responsibility.
He was protecting the baby because it belonged to Evan.
Because Evan mattered.
Because Evan had become important to him in a way no business obligation, family expectation, or carefully constructed plan could explain.
Nathaniel lowered his head.
"Evan."
"Hmm?"
"I need you to know something."
Evan lifted his head.
Nathaniel looked into his eyes.
"You don't have to hide from me."
Evan's lips trembled into a small smile.
"I'm trying."
"I know."
"And sometimes I won't feel beautiful."
"Then I'll remind you."
Evan studied him.
"Every time?"
"Every time."
Evan smiled.
Nathaniel touched his cheek with his free hand.
The gesture was gentle.
Nothing more was needed.
Evan leaned into his palm.
Nathaniel felt something inside him settle.
He had spent his entire life believing love was something that made people vulnerable.
Now he understood that vulnerability was not the absence of strength.
Sometimes it was the proof that something mattered.
Evan was changing.
His body was changing.
Their lives were changing.
And Nathaniel couldn't stop any of it.
For once, he didn't want to.
He wanted to be there for every change.
Every appointment.
Every difficult morning.
Every laugh.
Every fear.
Every moment when Evan looked in the mirror and needed someone to remind him that he was still himself.
Nathaniel looked down at the hand resting against Evan's bump.
He didn't say the words forming in his mind.
Not yet.
But he knew them now.
He was falling in love.
Not with the pregnancy.
Not with the idea of becoming a father.
Not with the responsibility that had brought them together.
With Evan.
With the stubborn, independent, vulnerable man standing in front of him.
And for the first time, Nathaniel understood that protecting Evan was only one part of what he wanted.
He wanted to love him.
Whatever came next, that truth could no longer be ignored.
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