Chapter 9 The First Real Kiss #2
"I want to be able to kiss you because I want you. Not because we're expecting a child."
Nathaniel's thumb moved gently across his knuckles.
"You can."
"I want to sit beside you because I want to be beside you."
"You can."
"I want to know you outside of all this."
Nathaniel smiled.
"I'd like that."
Evan leaned back against the sofa.
"Then I guess we're together."
Nathaniel considered the statement.
"I suppose we are."
Evan raised an eyebrow.
"That sounded very romantic."
Nathaniel laughed.
"I'm trying."
"Try harder."
Nathaniel turned toward him.
"I want you to be my partner."
The simple words affected Evan more than he expected.
"Partner?"
"Yes."
"Not just the mother—"
Nathaniel stopped himself.
"Father," he corrected quietly.
Evan smiled.
"Good recovery."
Nathaniel gave him a look.
"You knew what I meant."
"I did."
Nathaniel became serious again.
"You're not just the person carrying my child."
"I know."
"I need you to know that."
Evan looked at him.
"I do."
Nathaniel raised their joined hands.
"I want this because of you."
Evan's chest tightened.
He had wanted to hear those words.
But there was still a part of him that needed more than words.
He leaned closer.
Nathaniel met him halfway.
Their second kiss was slower.
There was no uncertainty this time.
Evan placed one hand against Nathaniel's shoulder while Nathaniel's hand rested carefully at Evan's waist.
The touch was gentle.
Respectful.
Nathaniel didn't pull him closer than Evan wanted.
He waited for Evan to decide how close was comfortable.
That mattered.
Evan broke the kiss and looked at him.
"You're being careful."
"I don't want to hurt you."
"I'm not asking you to treat me like I'm fragile."
"I know."
"Then don't."
Nathaniel searched his face.
"Are you sure?"
Evan nodded.
"I'm sure."
Nathaniel kissed him again.
This time, Evan relaxed completely.
The intimacy wasn't about proving anything.
It was about trust.
They had spent weeks circling one another, trying to understand what they were allowed to want.
Now they could simply be honest.
Evan rested his forehead against Nathaniel's.
"I've wanted this."
Nathaniel's voice was quiet.
"So have I."
"Even before the pregnancy?"
"Especially before the pregnancy."
Evan smiled.
"Good."
Nathaniel touched his cheek.
"I need you to understand something."
"What?"
"You don't owe me affection because I'm supporting you."
Evan frowned.
"I know."
"I'm serious."
"I know."
"You don't owe me a relationship because we're having a child."
Evan looked into his eyes.
"I know."
"And if you ever stop wanting this, you tell me."
Evan's heart tightened.
"Same goes for you."
Nathaniel nodded.
"Agreed."
Evan studied him.
"You're making this sound like a contract."
Nathaniel smiled.
"Old habits."
"Then here's my condition."
"What?"
"You can't hide behind contracts when things get difficult."
Nathaniel laughed.
"That's a difficult condition."
"I'm serious."
"I know."
Evan shifted closer.
"If we're doing this, we're actually doing it."
Nathaniel nodded.
"Together."
"Together."
They sat quietly for a while.
Evan rested his head against Nathaniel's shoulder.
It was strange how natural it felt.
He had spent years imagining what love might feel like.
He had never imagined it would look like this.
A wealthy older man making breakfast.
A quiet house.
A baby growing inside him.
A relationship that had begun with something they weren't supposed to want.
None of it looked simple.
But sitting there with Nathaniel, Evan didn't feel trapped.
He felt chosen.
That distinction mattered.
Later that night, Evan stood in the kitchen while Nathaniel prepared tea.
"You don't have to do that."
Nathaniel glanced over.
"I know."
Evan smiled.
"You've started stealing my phrases."
"You've started teaching me."
Nathaniel handed him the cup.
Evan took it.
"Thank you."
Nathaniel looked at him.
"For what?"
"For choosing me."
Nathaniel's expression softened.
"I would choose you even if there were no baby."
Evan went still.
Nathaniel continued.
"If we had never known about the pregnancy, if there had been no reason for us to stay connected, I would still want you."
Evan's eyes remained fixed on him.
"You're sure?"
"Yes."
"You can't know that."
Nathaniel frowned.
"Why not?"
"Because you can't change the past."
"I don't need to."
Nathaniel stepped closer.
"I know what I feel now."
Evan looked down at his cup.
The promise was beautiful.
It was also frightening.
Because promises were easy when everything was still new.
Actions were harder.
So Evan looked up.
"Then prove it."
Nathaniel nodded.
"How?"
"Not with money."
"I know."
"Not with a house."
"I know."
"Not with the baby."
Nathaniel's expression softened.
"Then what?"
Evan smiled.
"Choose me when choosing me is inconvenient."
Nathaniel said nothing.
"Stand beside me when people judge us. Listen when I disagree with you. Let me keep my independence. Don't make decisions for me because you're afraid."
Nathaniel nodded slowly.
"And when we're angry?"
"Don't run."
Nathaniel's gaze held his.
"All right."
"And don't assume you can fix everything because you have more money."
Nathaniel smiled.
"That one may be difficult."
Evan laughed.
"I'm serious."
"I know."
Nathaniel took his hand.
"I'll try."
Evan shook his head.
"No."
Nathaniel looked surprised.
"Then what?"
"Don't try."
"What should I do?"
"Do it."
Nathaniel smiled.
"You're demanding."
"You like that."
"I do."
Evan laughed.
The tension disappeared.
They stood together in the quiet kitchen, hands joined.
Their relationship still had no public name.
Nobody outside the house knew.
Richard didn't know that his son and oldest friend had finally admitted what existed between them.
The world didn't know.
But Evan did.
Nathaniel did.
That was enough for now.
Evan leaned against him.
"Are we keeping this secret?"
Nathaniel hesitated.
"Temporarily."
"Because of the pregnancy?"
"Because we need time."
Evan nodded.
"I can live with that."
"But not forever."
"I know."
Nathaniel touched his cheek.
"When we're ready, we'll tell them."
Evan smiled.
"Together."
"Together."
Nathaniel kissed his forehead.
Evan closed his eyes.
For the first time, the word relationship didn't frighten him.
It felt real.
There was no ring.
No public announcement.
No wedding.
No official title.
But there was Nathaniel standing beside him.
There was trust.
There was affection.
There was a future neither of them had planned but both were beginning to want.
Evan rested his hand against his growing stomach.
Nathaniel covered it with his own.
The baby was there between them, but not as a chain.
Not as an obligation.
As a part of something they had chosen to build together.
Evan looked at Nathaniel.
"You really would choose me without the baby?"
Nathaniel didn't hesitate.
"Every time."
Evan smiled.
"I'll believe it when I see it."
Nathaniel smiled back.
"Then watch me."
And Evan knew that was all he needed.
Not another promise.
Not another explanation.
Actions would tell him everything.
Their relationship had finally begun.
Privately.
Quietly.
Without a ring.
But with something that mattered far more.
A choice they were both willing to make.
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