Chapter 15 Come Home
Nathaniel's Search
Nathaniel waited three days before he went looking for Evan.
Not because he had stopped worrying.
Not because the distance had become easier.
He waited because Evan had asked for space, and Nathaniel had promised to respect it.
For three days, he kept his word.
He sent only one message each morning.
No pressure.
No questions.
Just enough to remind Evan that he was loved.
Evan answered only once.
I'm safe. I need more time.
Nathaniel had replied immediately.
Take it.
He meant it.
But on the fourth morning, Nathaniel received a message from Claire.
We need to talk.
Nathaniel stared at the screen.
Claire had been Evan's closest friend for years. She knew him well enough to recognize when he needed support and well enough to understand that Nathaniel wasn't the kind of man Evan would leave without a reason.
Nathaniel called her.
She answered after the second ring.
"He's here."
Nathaniel closed his eyes.
"Is he okay?"
"Physically, yes."
"And otherwise?"
Claire sighed.
"Not really."
Nathaniel's chest tightened.
"Can I see him?"
There was a pause.
"I think you should."
Nathaniel was already reaching for his coat.
"Send me the address."
"One condition."
Nathaniel stopped.
"What?"
"Don't go there to convince him."
Nathaniel understood.
"I won't."
"He's terrified that everything happening is his fault."
Nathaniel's expression hardened.
"It isn't."
"I know that."
"But he doesn't."
"No."
Claire's voice softened.
"That's why I'm telling you."
Nathaniel thanked her and ended the call.
He drove himself.
The trip felt strangely different from every business journey he had ever made.
There was no schedule.
No assistant.
No security detail.
No carefully prepared conversation.
Just Nathaniel, a car, and the knowledge that the man he loved was hurting.
When he arrived, Claire opened the door.
She studied him for a moment.
"You look terrible."
Nathaniel almost smiled.
"I haven't slept much."
"Neither has he."
Claire stepped aside.
"He's in the guest room."
Nathaniel nodded.
"Thank you."
Before he walked away, Claire caught his arm.
"Be careful."
"I will."
"He thinks he's destroying your life."
Nathaniel looked at her.
"He's wrong."
"Then make sure he hears that."
Nathaniel walked down the hallway.
The guest room door was slightly open.
He knocked.
"Evan?"
Silence.
Nathaniel knocked again.
"It's me."
"Come in."
The voice was quiet.
Nathaniel opened the door.
Evan was sitting on the edge of the bed.
He looked exhausted.
His hair was untidy, and his eyes were tired. He wore one of the oversized shirts he had started preferring as his pregnancy progressed.
For a moment, Nathaniel simply looked at him.
Three days had felt much longer than they should have.
Evan looked up.
"You came."
"I did."
"Why?"
Nathaniel stayed near the door.
"Because Claire told me you're hurting."
Evan looked down.
"I'm fine."
Nathaniel almost smiled.
"You've never been good at saying that."
Evan gave a weak laugh.
"Neither are you."
"That's true."
The silence between them was uncomfortable but not hostile.
Nathaniel waited.
Evan finally spoke.
"I've been thinking."
"About?"
"You."
Nathaniel nodded.
"And me."
"I figured."
"And everything that's happened."
Nathaniel sat in the chair opposite him.
"Tell me."
Evan rubbed his hands together.
"I think I've ruined your life."
Nathaniel's expression changed.
"No."
"You haven't even heard me."
"I don't need to."
Evan looked at him.
"I do."
Nathaniel remained quiet.
Evan took a breath.
"Your company is dealing with the media. Your board is asking questions. Your reputation is being discussed. My father won't speak to you. People are judging you because of me."
"Because of us."
Evan shook his head.
"That's exactly the problem."
"No."
"It is."
"Evan—"
"You had a life before me."
Nathaniel listened.
"A controlled life."
Evan's voice broke slightly.
"You knew what you were doing. You had your career. Your reputation. Your friends. Your family."
He looked at Nathaniel.
"And then I came along."
Nathaniel leaned forward.
"You didn't destroy anything."
"You don't know that."
"I do."
"You can't."
"I can."
Evan looked frustrated.
"How?"
"Because I remember my life before you."
Evan stared at him.
Nathaniel continued.
"It was successful."
"Exactly."
"It was comfortable."
"Yes."
"It was controlled."
Evan nodded.
"And it was empty."
Evan went still.
Nathaniel hadn't planned to say that.
But it was true.
"I had money. A career. A reputation. I had everything people told me should make me happy."
He paused.
"But I didn't have you."
Evan looked away.
"That doesn't mean I didn't change your life."
"You did."
Evan looked back at him.
Nathaniel smiled faintly.
"You changed it completely."
Evan's eyes filled with tears.
"And that's bad."
"No."
Nathaniel shook his head.
"That's the truth."
Evan wiped his cheek.
"I don't want you to lose everything."
"I'm not losing everything."
"What if you lose my father?"
Nathaniel's expression tightened.
"That may happen."
"What if your company suffers?"
"We'll handle it."
"What if people never stop talking?"
"They probably will eventually."
"What if they don't?"
Nathaniel shrugged slightly.
"Then they don't."
Evan stared at him.
"You make it sound so easy."
"It isn't."
Nathaniel's voice softened.
"But difficult doesn't mean wrong."
Evan looked down.
Nathaniel stood and walked closer.
He stopped a few feet away.
"I need to tell you something."
Evan nodded.
"I made mistakes."
Evan looked surprised.
Nathaniel continued.
"Many."
"Like what?"
"I hid behind the age difference."
Evan's expression changed.
"I used it as a reason to tell myself that wanting you was wrong."
Nathaniel looked down.
"Some of that concern was real. The difference between us matters. Our life experiences are different. I have more financial power. More social influence. More experience."
Evan listened carefully.
"But I also used those facts to avoid admitting what I felt."
Nathaniel met his eyes.
"It was easier to say, 'I'm too old for you,' than to say, 'I'm afraid I love you.'"
Evan's lips parted.
Nathaniel continued.
"I told myself I was protecting you."
"You were trying."
"I was."
He nodded.
"But protection became an excuse."
Evan looked at him.
"For what?"
"Distance."
Nathaniel swallowed.
"I could tell myself I was protecting you while avoiding the risk of needing you."
Evan's expression softened.
Nathaniel sat beside him on the bed.
"I was afraid of how much you mattered."
Evan whispered, "Why?"
"Because needing someone gives them the ability to hurt you."
Evan looked at him.
"And you don't like being vulnerable."
"No."
A small smile touched Evan's lips.
"I noticed."
Nathaniel laughed softly.
"I'm sure you did."
The smile faded.
"I also made another mistake."
"What?"
"I thought if I gave you everything you needed, I could prove I cared."
Evan frowned.
"Money."
"Money. A home. Security. Protection."
Nathaniel paused.
"But love isn't a transaction."
Evan's eyes softened.
"No."
"I don't want you to stay because I gave you a house."
"I wouldn't."
"I know."
Nathaniel looked at him.
"I don't want your gratitude."
Evan's eyes filled again.
"I don't want your obedience either."
Nathaniel took a breath.
"I don't want you agreeing with me because I'm older."
Evan stared at him.
"I don't want you following me because I have more money."
Nathaniel's voice became firmer.
"I don't want a man who simply stands beside me and says yes."
Evan's lips trembled.
"What do you want?"
Nathaniel answered immediately.
"You."
Evan looked at him.
"The real you."
Nathaniel reached for his hand.
"I want you to challenge me."
Evan blinked.
"I want you to tell me when I'm wrong."
"I already do."
"I know."
Nathaniel smiled.
"I want you to keep doing it."
Evan laughed softly through his tears.
"I can manage that."
"I want you to disagree with me."
"I definitely can manage that."
"I want you to have your own opinions, your own work, your own friends, your own ambitions."
Evan looked at their joined hands.
"I want you to remain yourself."
Nathaniel's voice softened.
"And I want the privilege of being part of your life without owning it."
Evan's tears fell.
Nathaniel wiped them away.
"You haven't ruined my life."
Evan looked at him.
"You've changed it."
"How?"
Nathaniel smiled.
"You made me realize that I don't want a perfect life."
Evan waited.
"I want a real one."
The words broke something open in Evan.
He leaned forward.
Nathaniel caught him immediately.
Evan buried his face against Nathaniel's chest.
"I'm sorry."
"You don't need to apologize."
"I should have talked to you."
"You needed time."
"I was scared."
"I know."
"I thought leaving would protect you."
Nathaniel held him closer.
"And I thought staying might destroy you."
Evan pulled back.
"Maybe we're both terrible at this."
Nathaniel smiled.
"Maybe."
Evan looked into his eyes.
"I missed you."
Nathaniel's chest tightened.
"I missed you too."
Neither moved for several seconds.
Then Evan asked quietly, "Do you want me to come home?"
Nathaniel could have said yes.
Every part of him wanted to.
But he shook his head.
"Not because I asked."
Evan frowned.
"What?"
"I want you to come home because you choose to."
Evan stared at him.
"If you come back because you feel guilty, I don't want that."
Evan's eyes softened.
"If you come back because you're afraid I'll leave, I don't want that either."
Nathaniel touched his cheek.
"Come back when you know you want to."
Evan whispered, "And if I do?"
"Then I'll be there."
"Waiting?"
"Yes."
Evan leaned into his hand.
"Even after everything?"
"Especially after everything."
Evan closed his eyes.
Nathaniel kissed his forehead.
He didn't ask for an answer.
He didn't demand that Evan pack his bags.
He didn't tell him what to do.
For once, loving Evan meant giving him the freedom to decide.
Nathaniel had spent months believing that protecting Evan meant keeping danger away.
Now he understood something deeper.
Sometimes the most respectful thing he could do was trust the man he loved to make his own choice.
Evan wasn't a problem to solve.