Chapter 19 Our Baby #2
"Okay."
He tried to sound calm.
Evan watched him.
"You're panicking."
"I'm not panicking."
"You just put your shirt on backward."
Nathaniel looked down.
He had.
Evan laughed despite the discomfort.
"Turn around."
Nathaniel corrected his shirt.
"You're not allowed to make fun of me right now."
"I'm in labor. I think I get one privilege."
Nathaniel smiled.
"Fair."
Another contraction came.
Evan's smile disappeared.
He gripped the sheets.
Nathaniel moved beside him.
"Look at me."
Evan breathed through it.
"I'm here."
When the contraction passed, Evan leaned back against the pillows.
Nathaniel took his hand.
"We're going to the hospital."
Evan nodded.
Within minutes, the quiet house had become a blur of movement.
Nathaniel grabbed the hospital bag.
He checked the nursery.
He checked the bag again.
Then he checked the front door.
Evan stood in the hallway, one hand against the wall.
"Nathaniel."
He turned.
"Yes?"
"Stop checking everything."
Nathaniel stared at him.
"You told me the bag was ready."
"It is."
"The car seat?"
"Installed."
"Documents?"
"Inside the bag."
"Then we're ready."
Nathaniel took a breath.
"Right."
Evan held out his hand.
"Come here."
Nathaniel walked to him.
Evan pulled him closer.
"I'm scared."
Nathaniel's chest tightened.
"I know."
"I don't know what it's going to be like."
"Neither do I."
Evan looked into his eyes.
"But you're staying?"
Nathaniel almost laughed at the question.
"Every second."
He kissed Evan's forehead.
"I'm not going anywhere."
The drive to the hospital felt longer than it should have.
Nathaniel kept one hand on the steering wheel and glanced at Evan whenever he could.
Evan was breathing carefully through each contraction.
"How far apart?"
"About four minutes."
Nathaniel nodded.
"Okay."
Another contraction came.
Evan closed his eyes.
Nathaniel wanted to stop the car.
He wanted to take away the pain.
He wanted to fix something.
Anything.
But there was nothing he could fix.
All he could do was keep driving.
"I'm here," he said.
Evan reached for his hand.
Nathaniel squeezed it.
"You've got me."
"I know."
When they arrived, the hospital staff moved quickly.
Evan was taken inside.
Nathaniel followed.
The hours that came afterward blurred together.
There were checks.
Questions.
Instructions.
Monitors.
More contractions.
More waiting.
Nathaniel had never felt so helpless.
Evan was exhausted.
Every time another contraction came, Nathaniel watched him fight through it.
Sometimes Evan squeezed his hand so hard that Nathaniel's fingers hurt.
He didn't care.
He would have let Evan break every bone in his hand if it meant Evan didn't have to face those hours alone.
"You're doing so well," Nathaniel whispered.
Evan glared at him.
"Don't say that."
Nathaniel blinked.
"Why?"
"Because everyone says that."
Despite everything, Nathaniel smiled.
"All right."
A few minutes later, Evan groaned.
Nathaniel leaned closer.
"Tell me what you need."
"You."
"I'm here."
"Don't move."
"I won't."
Evan closed his eyes.
Nathaniel stayed exactly where he was.
Time became meaningless.
At some point, morning light began to appear beyond the hospital windows.
Nathaniel looked at it and realized they had been there for hours.
Evan was exhausted.
His hair was damp.
His face was flushed.
He looked nothing like the confident man who had teased Nathaniel about organizing baby clothes.
He looked vulnerable.
Human.
Strong in a way Nathaniel had never understood before.
Nathaniel brushed a damp strand of hair from his forehead.
"You're incredible."
Evan opened his eyes.
"Don't make me cry."
Nathaniel smiled.
"I'm trying not to."
Evan squeezed his hand.
"I love you."
Nathaniel's throat tightened.
"I love you too."
Another contraction began.
Evan's fingers closed around his.
Nathaniel leaned closer.
"Breathe."
Evan did.
"That's it."
The intensity increased.
Nathaniel could hear the medical team giving instructions.
He tried to stay calm.
He tried to be useful.
But inside, fear moved through him.
Not fear of the birth itself.
Fear for Evan.
Fear for their baby.
Fear that something could go wrong.
He hated not being able to control the outcome.
For most of his life, Nathaniel had built his world around control.
Contracts.
Business deals.
Schedules.
Plans.
Risks.
He had believed preparation could protect the people he loved.
But now there was nothing to negotiate.
Nothing to manage.
There was only Evan.
And their baby.
And the certainty that some moments had to be endured rather than controlled.
Nathaniel held Evan's hand.
"I'm right here."
Evan looked at him.
"Don't let go."
"I won't."
The next hours were difficult.
Evan's exhaustion became obvious.
Nathaniel kept speaking to him softly.
Sometimes he told Evan what was happening.
Sometimes he reminded him to breathe.
Sometimes he simply stayed silent and let Evan know he was there.
When Evan became frustrated, Nathaniel listened.
When Evan became frightened, Nathaniel held him.
When Evan needed strength, Nathaniel gave him everything he had.
Eventually, the medical team told them they were close.
Nathaniel felt his heart begin to race.
Evan looked terrified.
"Almost there," Nathaniel whispered.
"I can't."
"Yes, you can."
Evan shook his head.
"I can't do this."
Nathaniel leaned closer.
"Look at me."
Evan did.
"You can."
"I don't know if I can."
"You don't have to think about the whole thing."
Nathaniel kissed his forehead.
"Just the next moment."
Evan breathed.
"That's all."
Another contraction came.
Evan gripped his hand.
Nathaniel stayed with him.
One moment.
Then another.
Then another.
And finally, after hours that seemed endless, the room changed.
A sound filled the air.
A cry.
Small.
Strong.
Alive.
Nathaniel froze.
For a moment, he couldn't understand what he was hearing.
Then he looked toward their baby.
Their child.
Their little person.
His breath caught.
"Oh."
The word barely came out.
He looked at Evan.
Evan was crying.
Nathaniel realized he was crying too.
The baby was placed carefully in their arms.
Nathaniel stared.
Tiny fingers.
Tiny face.
Tiny movements.
Their baby.
Their child.
His child.
Nathaniel had never held anything so fragile.
He barely trusted himself to move.
The nurse helped position the baby safely.
Nathaniel looked down.
The world disappeared.
He had negotiated multimillion-dollar contracts without shaking.
He had stood in boardrooms while people tried to intimidate him.
He had faced public criticism.
He had survived heartbreak.
None of it compared to this.
His baby moved against him.
Nathaniel's eyes filled.
"Hello."
His voice broke.
"Hello, little one."
He touched one tiny hand with his finger.
The baby's fingers curled around it.
Nathaniel stopped breathing.
A laugh escaped him through his tears.
"You've got me."
He swallowed.
"You have no idea how much."
Then he looked at Evan.
Evan was exhausted.
Tears were still on his face.
But he was smiling.
Nathaniel looked at him and suddenly saw the entire journey.
The first attraction.
The forbidden kiss.
The pregnancy.
The fear.
The arguments.
The accusations.
The separation.
The proposal.
The wedding.
The vows.
And now this.
Their baby.
Their family.
Their life.
Nathaniel had once believed the smartest thing he could do was stay away from Evan.
He had convinced himself that the age difference made loving him impossible.
He had believed distance would protect everyone.
He had been wrong.
The man he had once tried desperately to stay away from had become the man he could not imagine living without.
His husband.
The father of his child.
The person who had changed his understanding of home.
The center of his life.
Nathaniel leaned over and kissed Evan's forehead.
"You did it."
Evan smiled weakly.
"We did."
Nathaniel shook his head.
"You did most of it."
Evan laughed softly.
"Still us."
Nathaniel looked down at their baby.
"Still us."
Evan reached for his hand.
Nathaniel took it immediately.
Their fingers intertwined.
Three people now.
Not two.
Three.
Nathaniel looked at the tiny face again.
"I love you."
Evan smiled.
"I know."
Nathaniel looked back at him.
"I mean both of you."
Evan's eyes filled again.
"I know."
Nathaniel carefully leaned closer.
He kissed Evan.
The kiss was gentle.
Tired.
Full of everything words couldn't hold.
When they separated, Evan looked at their baby.
"Look at us."
Nathaniel smiled.
"We're parents."
Evan laughed.
"We're actually parents."
Nathaniel looked around the room.
The world outside continued as usual.
People were going to work.
Cars were moving through the streets.
Phones were ringing.
Businesses were opening.
But Nathaniel's world had changed completely.
He no longer cared about the life he had imagined before Evan.
This was the life he wanted.
The baby moved softly in his arms.
Evan closed his eyes, exhausted.
Nathaniel watched him.
His husband.
His love.
His family.
His wife.
The old private name still lived somewhere inside his heart.
But now another word carried even greater weight.
Husband.
Nathaniel smiled.
"My husband."
Evan opened his eyes.
"What?"
Nathaniel shook his head.
"Nothing."
Evan smiled.
"You were saying it again."
Nathaniel laughed quietly.
"I was."
"Good."
Nathaniel looked down at their child.
Then at Evan.
He understood something he had been too afraid to admit for years.
He had spent so much time protecting his heart that he had almost missed the life waiting for him.
Now he held that life in his arms.
His husband was beside him.
Their baby was safe.
And Nathaniel finally understood that love had never been the thing he needed to protect himself from.
Love was the thing that had brought him home.
He kissed Evan's forehead again.
Then he looked at their child.
"Our family."
Evan smiled.
"Our family."
Nathaniel held them both close.
And for the first time in his life, he didn't want anything more than what he already had.
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