Luka
Oh God, I was not ready.
I took a deep breath and tried to make my hair behave.
That was, of course, the height of arrogance because my hair never behaved.
Scores of stubborn people had tried to fight a war I knew was long since lost, and at some point, I had accepted the truth.
I was always going to look like I’d just rolled out of bed and dressed in a hurry to make an important appointment I was late for, and that’s how it would always be.
A sharp knock at the staff room door brought me up, and Reggie popped in, grinning. “Heyo, Pretty Boy, you done preening?”
I huffed, shaking my head. “I’m not pretty.”
“You’re adorable,” he said, pinching my cheek.
“Quit,” I said with a laugh, pushing him away, “or I’m going to HR.”
“And tell them what, that I called you cute? They’ll just say you’re adorable and tell you to accept it,” he said, cocking his head. “So, you ready?”
“Yes,” I said, and when he raised a brow, my facade crumbled and my shoulders slumped. “No.”
He laughed. “Figured as much. Everyone’s nervous their first time, and second...and every time.”
“Is that supposed to make me feel better?” I asked nervously.
“Should I point out that you signed up to be a Guide?”
“I know. Probably shouldn’t have; I didn’t even have the qualifications for the job.
” No, seriously, they had a list of preferred traits and qualifications for candidates, and I had no business sending in my resume, but hell, I’d been desperate, and the idea of getting paid good money to help people?
It had been a shot in the dark that should never have landed, and yet here I was.
Reggie huffed indignantly. “Are you saying I’m bad at my job?”
“What? Where the fuck did you get that?” I asked in confusion, frowning. “I never said that.”
“But you did.”
“When?”
“When you said you shouldn’t have this job,” he said, poking my nose.
Then, he proceeded to ignore my annoyed squawk as I swatted at him.
“Because last I checked, I’m one of the people who look over the applicants, well, when I can.
I always conduct the final interview. So if you’re saying you shouldn’t be here, you’re saying I’m bad at my job, and I’d love to hear you tell that to Marc. ”
“Marc?”
He sighed. “Mr. Shepherd to you.”
“You’re on a first-name basis with him?”
“You bet your ass I am. Been working with that man for years now, I have the right.”
“You mean you’ve been working with him for years and had a giant crush on him?” I said with a roll of my eyes.
He flinched in surprise. “Excuse me?”
“Uh, I didn’t say that out loud,” I said quickly.
Reggie snorted. “Who told you that? I don’t need gossip of that kind floating around. Totally destroys my image.”
“No one said anything,” I said with a shrug. When he raised a brow, I shook my head. “They didn’t! It’s just, I don’t know. Obvious.”
“Really? So obvious you came to that conclusion on your own?”
“Uh, yeah.”
“Hmm,” he said, sitting on the edge of one of the tables. “What led you to that conclusion?”
“This feels like a trap.”
“You’re not in trouble, I’m not pissed, and quit looking like I’m going to fire you because you told me I apparently have a crush on Marc,” he said with a smirk. “I wanna know how long you’ve thought that and why.”
“Not long,” I said and then stopped, frowning. “Well, I mean, I don’t know. It’s hard to explain.”
“Try me.”
I took a deep breath, realizing I wasn’t getting out of this, and tried to explain something I’d tried to get across to people before without success.
“It’s just that sometimes I notice stuff, but I don’t always notice that I notice it.
It still gets filed away in my brain. Sometimes it just sits there and does fuck all, and other times, like just now, the information clicks and the picture is obvious. ”
“Hmm, and what information clicked?”
“You always talk about him in a tone you don’t use for anyone else.
I mean, you’re always friendly and warm, but there’s something in the way you talk about him that’s.
.. different. And you like spending time around him, but you guys aren’t, like, friends from what I’ve seen.
You spend more time with him than most people do with their boss.
And I know he’s your boss, but I’ve never seen you touch him.
You always stick close, like you want to touch him, but that would be weird because you like him, so even though it would be totally normal for you to touch him, it doesn’t feel normal. ”
Reggie stared at me thoughtfully, crossing his legs at the ankles and kicking his feet gently. “That is...a fascinating peek into an intuitive thought process.”
I squinted. “Huh?”
He snorted, leaning back on his hands. “I mean, this isn’t a proven theory or anything, just one of my own, but there are different types of thinkers, especially when it comes to Guides.
You’re an intuitive thinker. All your observations and internal notes are below the surface, subconscious, and when something comes along that makes you realize you need that information, it springs up for you to grab.
So like you said, you know without actually knowing until you need to know. ”
“Oh...yeah,” I said, not used to people understanding. “That.”
He smirked. “And it proves I was right, you’re going to be good at this job. You just need enough experience to feel confident. You need to learn to trust your gut, and experience is the greatest teacher.”
“Ummm...okay.”
He leaned forward, hopping off the table and patting my shoulder. “And I also know that you understand the importance of discretion when you’re making one of your leaps of logic.”
I stared at him, eyes going wide when it clicked. “Oh, you’re saying I’m right.”
“You are, and it’s weird having someone tell me something about my behavior that I hadn’t realized until it was said aloud,” he chuckled.
“But keep it to yourself, please. Marc and I have a great working relationship, casual enough that I don’t have to behave differently around him, but professional enough that it’s not weird.
And I’d like to keep it that way. My feelings don’t and shouldn’t affect our working relationship. ”
“No, I mean yeah, you’re right, sure. I wasn’t going to...say anything,” I said quickly, tripping over my words before taking a deep breath. “Seriously, I won’t say anything. It’s not my business anyway.”
“See? You figure things out quickly,” he said, and I realized we’d moved away from the serious topics because now he was mocking me.
“Anyway, you do have your first ever meeting with one of our guests as his Guide. Ready or not, you’ve done the training, you’ve done the exercises, and now it’s time to get in that water and figure out if you’re going to sink or swim.
..or well, for me to figure it out. Not you.
You’re a bad judge of yourself, which is hilarious. ”
“There’s nothing funny about any of this,” I cringed.
“Oh God, it’s always funny when someone with excellent, even unnervingly good judgment of others is completely blind when it comes to themselves,” he said with a chuckle.
“So, we’ll do the debrief, which you already know is pretty.
..brief, huh, weird sentence...anyway! He’s a first timer and part of the Recovery program—”
My eyes were about to pop out of their sockets. “Oh my God, he’s new? Dammit, Reggie, you can’t hype me up then throw me in the deep end.”
He rolled his eyes. “You had to know it was coming. You’ve dealt with people in the Rest and Recuperation programs, giving you plenty of experience.”
“With other people taking the lead! And…and, they weren’t just in an easier program, they weren’t new!”
“Surprise? I didn’t realize you were going to have a meltdown,” he said, and I swore he was enjoying himself. “I’m curious to see how you match up with him. Very curious.”
“I just felt a chill run down my spine,” I groaned, “and I have a bad feeling in my gut.”
He laughed and patted me on the back. “Look, take comfort in the fact that there is no way I would put a new Guide with a new guest in the Recovery Program unless I was confident the Guide could handle themselves and that both had a good chance of connecting.”
“What you’re saying boils down to, ‘I’m gambling,’ I hope you know that.”
He narrowed his eyes, clicked his tongue, and snorted. “Yeah, okay. That’s, uh...interesting. Anyway, yes, I think you’ll manage.”
“What’s interesting?”
“I’ll tell you another time. For now, I need you to focus.”
“You can’t say something like that and move on like it’s nothing.”
“I can, and I am, because right now it’s work time, so suck it up, buttercup.”
“Ass.”
He grinned. “Good, you figured it out. Now, his name is Rowan. Business type, and I’ll warn you, he’s not totally sold on the program.”
“Oh great,” I groaned, running my hand through my hair. “This is getting better and better.”
“I already got him settled in for the day, and he’s been given the tour, but obviously, he’s going to need you to help get him acquainted with the ins and outs since he’s only been here a day.”
“A day. Oh God,” I said, eyes going wide. “That’s the guy I headbutted yesterday, isn’t it?”
“The guy you...excuse me?” he asked, blinking in concern.
I huffed. “It’s not like I gave him a Glasgow Handshake or anything, but I was in the intro room when you came in.
I didn’t realize you had someone with you, and when I rushed out, I kinda ran right into him.
God, he stared at me like I was the weirdest thing he’d seen all day and was ready to rip me a new one. Fantastic.”
“Don’t you know how to make a first impression?” Reggie asked with a chuckle. “Well, at least he’s got an idea what he’s dealing with.”
“Oh, you are so good at making me feel better.”
“Mmm, if I was good at that, I’d be a Guide.”
“You were a Guide. The first one at Arete.”