Luka #3
“Oh yes. Our Guides are well-trained, but they are still people. You can’t expect someone to endure a personality or behavior that goes against their core beliefs.
Even therapists decide whether a patient is right for them.
The point is for the guests to find recovery and healing, and if their Guide isn’t able to work with them, that would run contrary to our ethos of healing. ”
“I see, and the rampant sexuality?” Rowan asked, and I choked a little at the bluntness.
Ramirez shrugged. “As I’ve made abundantly clear, everyone is an adult, here of their own free will.
Some of the men find that freeing in ways that allow them to get in touch with an aspect of their sexuality they never realized was there, and others find they can show more of that version of themselves.
So long as no laws are violated and no boundaries pushed, I have no strong opinion on what they do with each other.
If anything, I’ve seen it help; sometimes it doesn’t, but that’s human nature, what can help one can hurt another.
Now it would be a problem if I were to break my professional code and sleep with any of the guests, of course. ”
“Because you’re a licensed therapist,” Rowan said, and I frowned in confusion at the shift in topic. “So it would be illegal and unethical for you to sleep with a patient.”
“To say the least,” Ramirez said with a laugh. “You don’t have to worry about that with me, however.”
“Is the reason Clay has gone through so many Guides because he’s slept with them?”
Ramirez blinked. “If I heard of anything of the sort, I wouldn’t be in a position to confirm it or deny it.
There is a risk, I suppose, of that happening.
Our Guides are, after all, not licensed professionals, so they aren’t held to the same standard as, say, someone like me.
They are encouraged to be close to their guests and form a bond. So I imagine that’s bound to happen.”
“And if you were to find out that was happening?” Rowan asked, and I felt a flash of panic claw its way up into my chest.
“I would be obligated to pass the information along, of course,” Ramirez said.
“But not in the same way I would report abuse or self-harm. I have never been told to keep an eye out for that sort of thing. But yes, if I thought there was a clear imbalance between Guide and guest, though that falls under abuse.”
“But you cannot confirm or deny it happening,” Rowan said with a grin.
“Correct,” the therapist said with a smile. “It seems you have, in fact, lived up to my expectations.”
Rowan looked startled. “Meaning?”
“You were described as respectful but highly dubious of the effectiveness of the program. That you weren’t afraid to ask questions in a manner both obvious in its skepticism but still allowed for an answer,” Dr. Ramirez said.
“Oh, I see,” Rowan said, leaning back.
“Are there any concerns you two have that I can address?” Ramirez asked, his eyes sweeping between us, evaluating.
“I think any concerns I still have are meant to be addressed with time,” Rowan said with a shrug. “You’ve been quite patient and informative; that is all I can ask.”
“Oh, I got nothing,” I said quickly when the doctor looked at me, and I flashed him a smile I hoped didn’t betray how nervous I was.
It was bad enough that Rowan and I had..
.done things, very hot, sexy things that had been living in my head rent-free for a couple of days, but definitely things we shouldn’t have done.
This was the first time in two days he’d brought up what had happened, and he did it with an audience?
“Well, if that changes, feel free to contact me,” the doctor said as he stood up. “The computer in your room can send messages. Anything you send is strictly confidential and not read by anyone but the recipient.”
“Good to know,” Rowan said, getting up to shake Ramirez’s hand. “Thank you for taking the time to explain more to me.”
“Oh, certainly,” Ramirez said. “You two enjoy the rest of your day, and I hope we’ll see you in the next group meeting, Rowan.”
I watched the doctor go, and when he closed the door, I turned to look at Rowan in disbelief. “What the hell was that?”
“What?” he asked calmly, staring at me as if I was the one losing my mind when he was the one who’d decided to play with fire.
“After what happened, you think I wouldn’t notice the questions you were asking?” I scoffed. “I’m not an idiot, Rowan.”
“I never said you were, and if I inferred it at some point, then I apologize because I’ve never thought it.”
That slightly mollified me as I snorted. “Then what was that about?”
He looked around. “How many of the rooms in this resort have recording active?”
“Pretty much any of the rooms that don’t involve being naked, or personal rooms,” I said, frowning. “The recording in here is routinely turned off during group sessions. We have until Dr. Ramirez gets back to his office and punches in that the session is over before the recording comes back on.”
“And how long will that take?”
“He makes his rounds to check up with anyone he thinks might need one-on-one attention and always stops by the cafeteria to grab a coffee; he’s addicted to the blend they use. So anywhere from thirty minutes to an hour.”
“More than enough time,” he said, taking Dr. Ramirez’s chair so he was sitting across from me.
His knees gently knocked mine, but apparently, jerking off on me was enough not to pay much attention to physical contact between us.
“For the record, that conversation with the therapist was the most normal you’ve acted since we. ..interacted.”
“Interacted. If we’re not being recorded or seen, we might as well call it what it was, fucking around.”
“See? You’ve been avoiding any mention of it for over two days, and now you’re willing to be blunt; that’s an improvement.”
“I’m not sure how I feel about you pointing out my improvements. Feels like the roles are being changed on me.”
“Did you not hear him? You’re not some therapist, social worker, or even a life coach. You’re meant to help me, using your own life experience and what you were trained in, but you aren’t held to some lofty standard. If I have gathered anything, it’s that they have an extensive selection process.”
I raised a brow. “You’ve been doubtful about the effectiveness of the program from the start, but all of a sudden you’re sure their selection process is...extensive?”
“There have clearly been successes, unless everyone is reading from the same script. Now, I have seen that sort of thing before, but there are always cracks in a collective lie. There is always someone who says one small thing differently than someone else. There are always clues, and so far all I have seen is genuine praise and belief in the program.”
“You’ve seen this sort of thing before?” I asked.
“I audit businesses and companies,” he said.
While it was more than he had given me before, I sensed there was more to the story, “to make sure they’re compliant with not only federal regulations, but also meet the standards of the parent company or CEOs.
I’m strictly a third party, or at least that’s what we tell people. ”
“We?”
“We.”
“I’m not going to get more than that, huh?”
“My family, as well as anyone we have close ties to, personal or professional.”
“Ah, so you’re a third-party auditor, but really, you’re making sure the bottom line is safe for your buddies and your family.”
“They are my most common clients,” he said stiffly. “But I despise the idea that I would show favoritism simply because I am in good standing with someone or a company that I’m auditing.”
I watched him for a moment and then snorted. “Alright, yeah. You’re too much of a tight ass to do something like give in to a bribe.”
“A compliment at its core, wrapped tightly in a caustic critique,” he said with a smirk. “You would be an excellent Human Resources manager.”
“Now that’s gotta be the rudest thing you’ve ever said to me.”
He laughed, and I felt my shoulders ease.
“Listen, I have full confidence in my abilities and experience to believe this place has been effective for many people in the past. And that the people who have been here the longest genuinely believe in it. Given that they’re extremely liberal in their policies and how they treat people, their selection process for those employed here must be thorough.
They cannot allow employees as much latitude as you’ve been given without having a good idea that they will perform the job, without constant oversight. ”
“Or they trust people.”
“Those who give that much trust so freely are asking to be taken advantage of or disappointed at best,” he said with a shrug.
“I hope those who are exposed to people who are mentally and emotionally in need of help and guidance would not simply be ‘trusted’. They would be evaluated and tested repeatedly. And I would bet good money that from the moment you started interacting with this resort, they’ve been evaluating you, even when you didn’t think you were being watched.
And your past would have been gone over with a fine-tooth comb. ”
That was an unnerving thought, not because there was anything awful in my past, but the idea that my life could be that easily read like an afternoon novel was just...weird.
“But as to my motivations and my conversation with the doctor, that was for information, yes, but it was for you as well.”
I stared at him. “I...what? For me? What?”
He frowned. “You haven’t just been avoiding the topic of our sexual interaction; you’ve been avoiding me. You have been around me because that’s what is expected, not because you wanted to.”
“Glad to see we understand that your warm and sunny disposition wasn’t winning any charm contests.”
“I know what I am. I would have to be an arrogant moron not to see the effect I have on people,” he said. “That said, I...detested the change in our relationship. Doctor Ramirez gave us information that soothed some frazzled nerves better than anything I could have come up with.”
“He did?”
“Yes, he confirmed that we are to treat each other as equals. You aren’t in a position of power over me, and I am not so vulnerable that I am considered protected. In other words—”
“We’re both adults capable of consent,” I said dryly, realizing what he’d done and shaking my head.
“You know, having a conversation with me to get this stuff out in the open works fine, too. You didn’t have to go through this whole song and dance with the poor doctor, even if he had no idea that’s what was going on. ”
“Why? A conversation between us before this would have been wasteful,” he said, frowning in confusion.
“You’ve been feeling unnecessary guilt, and I’ve been frustrated with the change between us.
With this out of the way, you have an outside, trusted source reminding you that we’re on the same level, and I’m not some delicate doll that has to be treated with care.
And in case you haven’t noticed, we are having that conversation. ”
I squinted at him. “I...alright, that is sweet actually.”
He scowled. “It is not.”
“So, thank you for making me feel better about it. I’m not sure how you feel about helping people, but you’re good at it when you do it your way.”
“Thank...you,” he said, looking unsure before shaking his head. “In any case, I wanted that cleared up so it wasn’t hanging over us.”
“I think you did quite well,” I said with a smile. “Anything else?”
“Ah, yes, before I leave to have some quiet time to think about what I’ve learned today,” he said as he stood up and leaned over me, suddenly extremely close.
“Since we are equals, and we clearly enjoyed ourselves the other day, my door remains open. I will never offer again, and I will not bring it up unless you do. It’s a standing offer, so if you want to think on it, by all means, take your time. ”
And with that, he walked out, rolling his shoulders in a way that told me he was feeling stiff again.
There was probably something that could be rubbed into his back to help with that, but I couldn’t picture him going to our medical wing for help.
I would probably have to do it myself, and that was inviting further sexual tension between us, which was not something I wanted.
Right?