Rowan
It was strange, seeing ice and snow stretched out before me, yet because of a thin piece of glass between me and the environment, I was untouched by the cold.
I was quite comfortable in loose pants and a shirt, a pair of sandals, and a mug of coffee in my hand as I watched the sun set.
There were rooms near the top of the facility, one facing west and one facing east, giving anyone the chance to greet the sun or say good night.
Tonight, it seemed I was the only one who wanted to watch the sun disappear beyond the horizon, and I was okay with that.
If I was honest, I wouldn’t have minded if Luka had been there, and that was.
..different. I wasn’t so distant from humanity that I had never had people I liked around me, but it was rare, and it happened slowly.
Yet I had been here a month, and Luka had already become one of those people I didn’t begrudge being around, even when I preferred to be alone.
I eased onto one of the soft couches, facing the window, and watched the snowy peaks start to glow with skyfire.
The glow had just begun to shift from yellow to orange when I heard the door open with a soft hiss.
I glanced over to see if my quiet time was going to be interrupted and let out a brief sigh when I saw who had trailed in behind me.
“Now, now, don’t look too excited to see me,” Reggie said with a grin, walking to the window and peering out.
I couldn’t help but remember the conversation I’d had with Luka a few days before, and quickly checked and.
..alright, Reggie did in fact have a nice ass.
Let the record show that when Luka’s self-control broke, he didn’t waste it, as I’m sure that ass bare had been a more impressive sight.
“I actually didn’t know anyone would be up here. ”
“Why is that?” I asked, turning my attention from my assessment.
It was a nice ass, but a nice ass on someone you wouldn’t touch was like a pair of expensive rims when you didn’t have a car.
Now, Luka’s on the other hand. “It seems the perfect place to find the peace of mind and serenity all of you seem intent on us finding.”
“People don’t like it too quiet, I think,” Reggie said, and I noticed he was speaking softer than usual.
“The quiet places around here still have the sound of the heat or air conditioning. The sounds of people moving around or speaking quietly, the gurgle of the hot water and coffee machines, and so on. But up here? If you’re alone, all you have is you and your thoughts, and many people don’t like being alone with their thoughts. Not around here, anyway.”
“But you do?” I asked, trying for curious but settling for neutral because picturing him enjoying peace and quiet was a stretch of the imagination.
“Shocking, right?” he asked, smirking. “Believe it or not, there is a difference between people who simply like talking with others, and those who can’t help but fill the silence with noise.”
“I suppose that’s true,” I admitted as he sank into one of the chairs next to the window.
To my surprise, he leaned back and stared out the window as the glowing colors of the sun began to darken across the sky and fade from the sparkling mountain peaks.
His expression was distant, as if he were miles away from this room, and if he were pulled back, he might not remember what he had been thinking about so intently.
Or perhaps he would, but would smile and say he had forgotten.
“Is this your way of proving you can be quiet?” I asked with a snort, unnerved by the almost vulnerable moment on his part.
He blinked, his vision clearing, smirking when he turned back to me. “No, I was thinking.”
“Quite hard, it seems.”
“It’s been known to happen on occasion, believe it or not.”
I snorted. “Okay.”
“I’m surprised you broke the silence first,” he said as the sky turned violet outside. “But maybe you’re the sort of person who has a hard time being silent around other people who are being silent.”
“I think not.”
“No? Then maybe it was because I’m someone you assume can’t be quiet, so it was unnerving, even worrying, that I did it with no problem.”
“Odd, yes. Surprising, yes. Worrying, no.”
He chuckled. “Then maybe you just wanted to talk to me.”
“Certainly not,” I said with a frown. “If you want to talk, by all means, find Luka. He’ll talk your ear off plenty.”
“It’s so funny that you say that,” he said, turning to face me.
“Because I recall seeing you two sitting together the other day. You were reading, and Luka was doodling on his tablet, neither of you speaking for over an hour. And when he did speak, it made you smile, or smirk, I suppose, because smiling seems particularly painful for you, so a smirk is the best anyone can hope for.”
I wrinkled my nose. “Not that I shouldn’t expect to be monitored while I’m here, but that level of monitoring is disturbing and unnerving.”
“I was spending some quiet time down there, and I can’t help but people-watch, even when I’m relaxing, hence why I like to come up here to relax, because I don’t feel compelled to keep an eye on people.
So I happened to catch that moment, but there were others I was keeping an eye on too, so don’t go thinking you’re special. ”
“Rest assured, I do not think that,” I told him with a roll of my eyes.
“But clearly he does not always talk someone’s ear off as you confidently stated,” he said with a smirk. “Or are you perhaps an exception?”
“Try not to seem too eager and trip over your own feet in the hope that your program has magically worked on me,” I told him dryly. “Even someone as talkative as him is bound to find moments of quiet.”
“Which means that I, too, would find moments of quiet.”
I arched a brow. “Fine, you have me there.”
“For what it’s worth, I am glad the two of you are getting along so well.
I hoped you would when I decided you would be his first guest. Yes, I saw that eyebrow move.
I said first, and that was intentional. I had every faith that he was going to be a long-term worker here, and that faith continues. ”
“And if he hadn’t managed to make inroads with me?”
“Speaking of interesting language choice,” he said, and I froze as I realized what I had just admitted.
He continued before I could say anything else.
“And even if he hadn’t managed to make inroads, that wouldn’t be a mark against him.
In this line of work, there are so many variables that are impossible to predict, let alone anticipate and deal with properly.
That he didn’t connect with you could have been a failure on his part, or it could have been a simple lack of compatibility between you, which comes down to zero fault for anybody involved. ”
“And if he had indeed failed because of something he’d done or not done?”
“You’ll hate this answer,” he said, sounding delighted by the prospect. “But I don’t like to think in terms of failure, but rather areas of improvement.”
“Hmm, you’re right, I do hate that.” There were, of course, times and places where something needed to be tweaked rather than called a mistake, but that was rare in my experience.
“Which makes sense when you’re the man who goes in and makes sure a company is doing what they’re supposed to be doing in the way they’re meant to do it,” he said, and while nothing in his face changed, I swear I felt an invisible searchlight pass over me like he was looking for something.
“But in this line of work? You can’t really do that.
You can’t tell people there’s a chance to recover or heal and then berate them with talk of failing.
You tell them there are places to improve, or things that can be worked on with the right tools. ”
“Yes,” I said dully. “I’ve heard the HR speech before; it’s all semantics in the end.”
“Semantics for you, perhaps, but for people who have spent their whole life being told they’re failing, screwing up, or having their worth measured by what they can succeed at rather than who they are?
” he asked, cocking his head. “They deserve the chance to be somewhere that failure isn’t just accepted but expected, and made to realize that their worth as a person, as a man, hasn’t changed. ”
There wasn’t much I could say that wouldn’t sound unfair or even churlish, so I stayed quiet.
My attitude toward success and failure came from the nature of my job, but that job suited me because of my own nature, which saw things through a strict lens.
I suppose that for someone like Reggie, seeing the way I was might lead him to assume my attitude and strictness came from my family.
He would be right, but not in the way he thought.
He eyed me. “So...not that fond of Luka?”
“I never said one way or the other,” I told him stiffly. As much as I wasn’t ashamed of what Luka and I were doing, I didn’t want people sniffing around.
“Yes, I’m sure your willingness to spend time around him without an ounce of begrudging is not a sign that you’ve grown somewhat fond of him.”
“Is there a point to all this?”
“Naw, just thinking aloud. I was thinking of him, was all.”
“I’m sure he’ll be thrilled to hear his boss was thinking about him.”
Reggie chuckled. “I’m sure he’d be pleased and nervous in equal measure.
Pleased because it means I’m thinking well of him, but nervous because it might mean I’m worried about him, or worse, thinking badly of him.
But really, I was thinking of him because he was looking for you when I came up here. ”
I frowned. “Why?”
“You know, I didn’t think to ask. He said he was going to check if you were in your room,” Reggie said, staring out the window again, which had now become a soft black, the kind of blank slate that only happened minutes before the stars started making a show.
“I pointed out that he could simply check his tablet to see if you had gone into your room, and he said that felt creepy.”