Luka
I woke to the sound of, well, nothing actually…
nothing unusual, but I was awake anyway.
Trying to be mindful, I rolled over and found the space behind me empty and gave a soft snort.
When Rowan had said he was a restless sleeper and occasionally went on nighttime walks, I wasn’t sure if it was going to happen.
Especially since we had both found the energy to enjoy our first night together, the second round of sex had left me sore, and even now I could feel my ass protest as I sat up and groaned, stretching my arms over my head.
“Worth it,” I said aloud as I stood up. It wasn’t the knowledge that I had his cum inside me that left me feeling all warm and fuzzy.
..well, not just that. It was the fact that a spur-of-the-moment suggestion to go bareback hadn’t been met with irritation or derision, but immediate trust. I had wondered if perhaps post-nut clarity might shake some sense into him and he’d back track the next time, but. ..nope.
He had been his usual self when we’d gone down to the canteen, and while I didn’t know what his nighttime routine was, he didn’t strike me as uncomfortable or distant.
Then, when we had lain down together, he had wrapped himself around me with a hold that was far more affectionate than I thought he’d be.
Rowan wasn’t a cold or harsh person when you finally got him to open up, but he didn’t strike me as the affectionate type.
Apparently, that wasn’t the case when he was sharing a bed because he held me tight, even throwing one of his long legs over mine to keep me there as we lay in the dim room.
Well, you couldn’t put two horny people together in a bed with little space between them and not expect something to happen.
To his credit, Rowan had been surprised when I had shifted our kissing and groping toward something else.
He probably thought that after earlier, I would be too tender, and well, he wasn’t completely wrong, but he wasn’t completely right, either.
I was definitely going to be giving him blowjobs for the next couple of days instead, but considering how much fun it was to see first shock and then intense arousal on his face when I decided I was going to ride him till one or both of us came, I would take some soreness.
I made my way toward the kitchenette to grab a drink.
I looked at the clock and saw I’d only been asleep a couple of hours.
It wasn’t unusual for me to occasionally wake up in the middle of the night, especially when I was somewhere new.
Sure, the resort wasn’t new, but the room was, so I wasn’t surprised.
I should have mentioned that to Rowan; he might have waited to see if I woke up before he left for his walk.
Then again, he might want time to himself.
But I had learned from years of experience that trying to get back to sleep right away was pointless and invited more frustration, making it even harder.
The best thing I could do was make sure that whatever I did wasn’t demanding or taxing, and at some point, I would feel the tiredness trickle in and lure me back to sleep.
I eyed the bookshelf, running my fingers along the spines as I contemplated whether there was anything that might interest me. It wasn’t like I desperately needed a book; I could always read on my phone, but there was something about a physical book that couldn’t be beaten.
I pulled a couple I didn’t recognize from the shelf and read the summary, amused to find that Rowan apparently had an interest in historical fiction.
The sort that was as close to reality as possible, but probably took liberties to tell the story.
He didn’t seem to be particularly interested in one historical moment.
There was one set in Japan, another in Egypt, and another during the Napoleonic Wars.
“Ugh,” I muttered when I knocked a book toward the back with a heavy thump and reached to grab it, frowning when I felt something that didn’t feel like a book. In fact, it felt like cloth, but why the hell would Rowan have thrown something like a sock back there?
Grabbing it, I dragged it out and froze when I heard the soft sound of things clicking against one another. Taking a deep breath, I drew it out and found it was, in fact, a black cloth bag. I stared at it for a moment before swallowing hard and setting it down on the table.
I was torn. On the one hand, I shouldn’t be going through his things, but at the same time, if that bag contained what I thought, then.
..I should know. My fingers played with the drawstring for what felt like forever before I took a deep breath and opened it to peer inside.
I closed my eyes and set the bag down, sitting down at the table as I heard the pills clink again.
I guess I wasn’t too surprised. He had been open with me about having a fucked up back.
There was nothing in his file about needing pain management, however, which meant the pills weren’t prescribed.
There weren’t many left, and I wondered how many there had been when he arrived and how he had gotten them past anyone who searched his stuff.
Then again, I remembered saying to Reggie once that it was strange that we searched incoming guests’ luggage, but we didn’t check their personal clothing.
“I’d like to show at least a modicum of trust,” he’d told me, but frowned as he said it. “I’ve debated making that a requirement, but so far it hasn’t been a problem. I just hope it won’t become one.”
Except the problem was sitting right there on the table. Was this the first time someone had gotten something into the building that they shouldn’t have? Or was this the first time someone had been caught?
Hell, did this even count as being caught?
Under normal circumstances, I would have taken the bag and gone to talk to Reggie despite the hour.
And yet the circumstances weren’t normal.
Of course, I had known getting involved with Rowan was inviting all sorts of trouble, but I hadn’t expected to run into a conflict of loyalties quite like this.
There was no way in hell I was going to get back to sleep any time soon, and probably not for the rest of the night. We were only a couple of hours from sunrise, which is when I usually got up anyway. I counted it as an early wake-up and got up to make coffee.
I stood at the counter as the machine gurgled.
Protocol dictated that if something like this was found, it needed to be reported immediately.
And yet, God, even if I weren’t involved with Rowan, if there weren’t.
..feelings involved, I would have still hesitated.
I had known Rowan for weeks, and it had never occurred to me that he might be using pills to manage his pain.
At least, I hoped that’s what the pills were for; I knew how addictive painkillers could be.
Fuck, had he been getting high the whole time?
A soft beep told me I didn’t have time to come up with something to say.
I had only just decided I was going to confront Rowan, but that was as far as I’d gotten, and now he was back.
Taking a deep breath, I decided to brew another cup of coffee and prayed for the first time in years, hoping this didn’t suddenly go sideways before I had a chance to get him to talk to me.
He walked in, and I hated that I could see from the slant of his shoulders and the lack of furrow in his forehead that he had been enjoying a peaceful walk.
He sniffed and turned to see me standing there, jumping in surprise and then flashing a smile.
Only for it to fade as he clearly saw something was wrong, he looked around to find the source of my distress, and when his eyes fell on the table, the furrow appeared on his forehead, and his shoulders hunched.
“You went through my things,” he said in a tight voice. “I never expected you would do something like that.”
“I can tell you right now, it wasn’t intentional,” I said, glancing toward the bookshelf. “It was an accident while I was looking for something to read.”
“You have a phone, a tablet,” he said in the same tight voice. “Plenty of things to entertain you.”
“And when it comes to middle-of-the-night reading, I’m pretty old-fashioned,” I said. “Books used to get me through the first night or two in a new foster home. Nowadays, when I wake up feeling antsy or just can’t sleep, I reach for a book before a device. The familiarity helps me get tired again.”
His jaw tightened. “I see.”
“Rowan.”
“Don’t.”
“Well, I have to,” I said with a sigh. “Because what I should be doing is taking that bag and going to tell Reggie. That’s what I’m supposed to be doing. But instead I made a cup of coffee, and decided I was going to talk to you.”
“Of course you want to talk,” he snorted, and I saw his fingers twitch as if tempted to reach out and take the bag from the table, but was holding himself back.
Not that taking the bag would have done him a lot of good, I had already seen the evidence, and my word would be enough to launch an investigation.
Even if he got rid of the pills, I knew the agreement Rowan had signed to come to the resort meant we could drug test him whenever we wanted. The evidence would be in his body.
“Talking is the only thing I can offer you,” I said softly. “Because this...isn’t good, Rowan. You know you’re not supposed to have that, not without a medical reason, and that would have been in your file.”
“A file you can’t even see.”
“Pain management would have been included in your file for me to see; it’s one of the things that aren’t kept from me.
I would need to know what kind of pain you were dealing with, so I didn’t risk you getting hurt.
Not to mention the interactions and side effects of medication.
I would need to know what you were on and what to keep an eye out for. ”