Luka #2
“Of course,” Rowan said, and I frowned, trying to understand what seemed different about him.
It took a moment, but then I realized that he was holding himself differently, stiffer than usual but not wooden.
It was authority, it was the body language of a man who was used to being listened to when he spoke, and expected weight to be put behind his words.
I was seeing Rowan as he was when he was on the job rather than the man I knew. ..or thought I knew.
I glared as he looked me over, and now his tendency to evaluate other people made a whole lot more sense and pissed me off all over again.
I saw the moment he was going to speak, and downed the rest of my drink before chucking the now-empty glass at him, watching it shatter a good two feet in front of him. He probably didn’t feel a single shard.
He blinked, looking over his shoulder and then down at the remains of the glass and back at me. “Hello.”
“Eat shit,” I told him furiously, though taking some of my anger out on the glass had helped to calm me a bit.
“Perhaps I could tell you what they’re doing as a peace offering?”
I glared at him. “Do you really think that’s somehow going to make me happy?”
“No,” he admitted, stepping closer and taking the seat next to me. “But I do think you want to know, and perhaps having that mystery solved might make you feel better. Not totally, as I have several things to answer for before that happens, but a little better at least.”
“It had better be good,” I told him, crossing my arms tightly.
“I don’t know about good,” he said quietly. “But I believe Reggie forgot I was there or didn’t care when he told Marc—”
“Wow, you two are on first names now? Cute.”
“He told Marc that it appeared to be one of their Guides who had been accessing my room.”
That...wasn’t what I was expecting him to say, and it immediately shut me up.
I thought of Reggie, who not only ran this place day-to-day but treated Arete like it was his first and only treasured child, and also hand-picked the Guides that were brought in and trained.
To have one of their own responsible for stealing from a Guest, and distributing the stolen drugs to someone who was supposed to be completely sober was—
“Jesus,” I muttered. “Poor Reggie.”
“He was doing a good job of hiding it, but he was heartbroken when he told Marc,” Rowan said, and I suppose it had to be a mark in his favor that he seemed genuinely bothered by the news.
“I didn’t catch the name, Reggie just told Marc something, and it was Marc who let slip that it was a Guide.
Apparently, he also forgot or didn’t care that I was there, and it was a rare show of distress on his part as well. ”
“Well, yeah,” I said with a heavy sigh. “Maybe you were too busy trying to evaluate if this place was up to code or whatever, but both Mr. Shepherd and Reggie have put their heart and soul into Arete. To have one of our own do something like this is just...yeah, well, it’s heartbreaking, that’s about the gist of it. ”
“Yes, well. I can’t say I can relate, I have never put as much into something as the two of them clearly have,” he said with a troubled frown.
“I’m familiar with the feeling,” I said with a scowl.
The news had taken the worst of the venom out of my sting, but it hadn’t obliterated it.
I was still furious with Rowan for having not only kept things from me, but also for outright lying about who he was and why he was here.
“This was my first time being a Guide, Rowan, my first fucking time! I thought we were close, I thought you cared, and I just—”
He took a deep breath, clasping his hands before him and looking unhappy. “For whatever it’s worth, everything between us was completely genuine on my side.”
“How the fuck can you say that when I didn’t know who you were the entire time I’ve known you?”
“Again, it was genuine. It’s true that I kept things from you, and when it came to why I was really here, I am sure I lied. I can’t recall a time I had to lie outright, but I did my best to avoid lying to you or anyone else...but especially you.”
“Oh, well, the fact that you tried to avoid lying to me makes it all better,” I snarled.
“Let me just forget that the entire point of our relationship, even before you started sticking your dick in me, was based on a lie! I was supposed to be the person who was to be your partner, maybe not totally equal, but at least working together! And the whole time you were lying about who you were and why you were here!”
Rowan nodded. “I know. I’m not going to pretend I haven’t been keeping something important from you.
And I’m not going to sit here and act like you don’t have a right to be angry.
But I meant what I said, everything I told you, everything you saw of me was genuine.
What I kept from you was the only thing I kept from you. ”
“And you act like that’s nothing,” I said with a shake of my head. “What you do for a living, what you really do, the fact that you come from this big family that made even Reggie stand at attention and just...it’s a lot, Rowan.”
He sighed heavily. “In all honesty, I came here under the express condition of evaluating the Arete Resort to see if it was worthy of the funding it has been receiving, and if it was worthy of receiving more. I didn’t want to do it; that level of subterfuge and lying isn’t my style, which is the primary reason I tried to avoid lying where I could.
That was complicated by the relationship growing between us.
Although I continued the subterfuge with you, it didn’t thrill me to do so. ”
“I’m sorry,” I snarked as I grabbed the glass Reggie had left behind and poured myself another dose of the liquor. “But you feeling bad for lying to me doesn’t somehow make everything better.”
“I don’t expect it to,” he said stiffly. “I’m not trying to make you feel better or to make myself look better. Well, I would like to make you feel better, but it’s becoming clear that you aren’t going to anytime soon. So right now I’m just trying to figure out what comes next.”
I stared at him. “What comes next? Well, clearly, your time here is done; there's not much point in you sticking around to spy on us.”
He sighed, rubbing his forehead. “I wasn’t keeping my identity a secret for the fun of it. I was doing it because I didn’t want them to know I was coming in under the instruction of their backers.”
“What difference would that make?” I asked with a grunt.
“It matters because people change how they do things if they think they’re being observed.
Particularly if they’re being observed by someone who represents the people cutting them a check,” he said with a sigh.
“And while I think Reggie and Marc would do their best not to let their knowledge get in the way of how they handle things, they would do it unconsciously. As much as I didn’t want to do it, I have to admit that doing it incognito was the best option. ”
“So, what? You’ve got your information, you’ve decided this place is or isn’t worth your time, or money, so you’re going to go?
” I asked, still angry, but there was a drop in my gut.
If he was telling me the truth, and I still wasn’t sure I was buying that or not, then despite what had been kept from me, I had in fact gotten to know the real Rowan.
If that was the case, then the man leaving Arete was the man I didn’t want to leave, even if right now I probably only wanted him around to yell at him more.
“There isn’t much point in sticking around,” he said with a shrug. “Aside from the questions that would inevitably be asked once the other guests register something different in the way I was being treated, especially since I doubt you’ll be able to hide your anger.”
Okay, that was true. “So yes, you’re leaving. Got your report all neatly typed up and ready to go?”
He stared at me before grunting and getting up, going around the desk, and sitting down behind the computer. “That is a good point.”
“What are you doing back there? It’s locked up tight, trust me, I already tried nosing through it,” I admitted. It wasn’t like there was much to lose with him knowing.
“Unless the computer is locked to administrative access, anyone can access their account from any device plugged into the system,” he said, typing away and then clicking.
I blinked. “Why didn’t I know that?”
“I assume because you never needed that knowledge.”
“And you did?”
“No, but knowing things others don’t about how a place operates or little tricks is a good thing to have.”
“Good to know, I guess,” I said, my curiosity starting to win over my annoyance. “What are you doing?”
“If you’re interested, I want to read you some of my notes,” he said, glancing at the screen and cocking his head.
“Why?” I asked, not bothering to deny I was curious.
“Because I need you to understand what Arete has become in my mind...and how you were pivotal in shaping my opinion,” he began and then cleared his throat, his cheeks turning pink. “Also...I’ve never done this before.”
“Read your notes?”
“Yes.”
“Then...what about your reports? Do they not get read?”
“My reports are based on the notes that I write when I’m evaluating a business or organization. Up until now, I have never shared anything from my reports with another person.”
I didn’t need him to say outright that he was making a change for... Well, I suppose he was doing it for my sake. It still felt like I was being bought, but I couldn’t deny that I understood this was a big deal for him. It was probably a lot like looking at someone’s private journal.
“I don’t get to read it?” I asked wryly because I had to poke just a little.
He smirked. “No. There are some things even you shouldn’t read.”
“This is about the things you had to say about me when you first met me, isn’t it?” I asked, remembering how irritated and testy he’d been during the first couple of weeks.