Walker #3
“Of course I knew,” I snapped, giving up on trying to massage his arm before my anger made me bruise his skin.
“But there’s a difference between knowing something and dealing with it firsthand, alright?
I started seeing shit like that everywhere, and it was all I could see, all I could talk about.
It was a miracle they didn’t throw me out on my ass before my term ended and I was allowed to go home.
And when I got back, I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and I realized that no one…
no one knew. There’s all this talk about how soldiers are just blood-soaked monsters for the machine of war and no, we were boys, boys thrown into a mess that made us into the sort of men that would be monsters if we didn’t cling to our humanity.
When it’s all said and done, the people who fought, who killed, who bled and suffered for what some bureaucrat said was necessary, are just…
tossed aside. All that pain and suffering, both for us and for the people we were suffering for?
Done for the people at the top who don’t care what happens to everyone else, because we’re just numbers to tap into a computer and send on without batting an eye right before lunch.
So I got mad; I got real mad. I took everything I knew, and I started using it…
I started writing. I started pointing out the gaps in stories about what was going on overseas; I started telling stories of people who were left behind.
I started…dropping vague hints to other people, for places where they could dig, where they could find the bodies. ”
Cade’s eyes went wide. “Walker—”
“I know,” I said with a snarl. “That’s basically espionage and treason.”
“It’s real close,” he said in a low voice. “What the fuck? You’re lucky ya didn’t end up in a hole somewhere…or worse.”
“That’s exactly what the nice man in a nice suit said when enough people, or the right person, got sick of my shit,” I said with a sigh.
“I was going to tell them to fuck off, but they were going to involve my family. And…what’s the point of trying to do something if that something is going to ruin the only good shit you have in life?
So it was let them rip me and my family apart, or I let them interfere, paint me as crazy and in need of help and then come here to make the story more believable. So…here I am.”
“I…dunno what to say,” he said after staring at me for a few seconds. “I just…Walker—”
“I hope you’re not waiting for me to say I regret it, or that I wouldn’t have been doing it still if they hadn’t got a bug up their ass,” I said, looking away.
“No,” he said so quickly that I looked at him in surprise. “I ain’t sayin’ you were wrong for doin’ it; I dunno if I can even call it wrong. But Jesus, that was playin’ with fire and ya got off lucky.”
“Maybe,” I said with a shrug. “Maybe not. It’s not like they said this was all they would make me do. I might be on a leash for the rest of my life. So you know, keep that in mind while you’re trying to be my friend or…whatever.”
Yeah, ‘whatever’ covered everything we were doing…not.
“I dunno if I wanna call ya stupid or brave,” he said with a smile, reaching up to give the side of my neck a squeeze. “Maybe both. They’re kinda the same thing if ya look just right.”
“True,” I said with a laugh. “Sorry, I don’t know. I expected you to be mad.”
“What? Why?”
“Because you’ve…never seemed bothered by what happened. You kind of…accepted it, I guess. I just assumed that even if it didn’t end the way it should have, you still—”
“Supported it?”
I winced. “Yeah.”
“Don’t,” he said softly, pulling me closer and giving me a kiss.
“It’s kinda my fault. I just…go with things, it’s how I am.
I feel ways about stuff, and I got opinions, but I don’t share ’em much ’cause I figure it ain’t gonna do much good.
But you? You weren’t willin’ to do what I did, and I’m not gonna be mad at you for that.
It’s just scary, thinkin’ about what could’ve happened… what could still happen.”
“I try not to think about it too much,” I told him as I sat there, my forehead pressed against his and taking a deep breath.
The anger and outrage were dissipating, and I knew it had everything to do with the man cradling me firmly as I sat there, wondering what my life had become.
Then again, if it had brought me here, to this moment, there were worse ways for my life to end up.
“Ya wanna teach me that trick?”
“Well, first,” I said, bringing my head up to kiss him and push his chest so he was on his back. I ground my ass down on his groin. “You need to find yourself a wonderful, incredibly sexy man.”
“Check,” he said, grabbing my hips and grinding up against me to show he was getting hard again.
“And then you get him naked…or close enough that you can look over his body and realize there’s plenty of good things in this world to take your mind off the shitty parts,” I said, running my hands up and down his chest.
“Hmm,” he said, grabbing my shirt and pulling it so I had to bend over and he could throw it off to the side. “Sort of check.”
“And then,” I said, sliding back so I had access to his underwear, fishing his cock out and smirking when I saw it grow to its full, impressive size in the palm of my hand.
“You remind him he’s been through the training and there’s definitely lube in his room.
And if he’s ready and willing, you let him fuck you until your eyes roll back in your head and you wonder why you didn’t let him do it sooner. ”
His hands rested on my shoulders. “You, uh…ya sure about that?”
“Cade, when have you ever known me to say something I wasn’t one hundred percent ready to stand behind?”
“Mmm, never.”
“Then you tell me if you’re sure about that.”
He stared at me and then glanced over my shoulder. “Might want my leg for that.”
“Nah,” I said, sliding off him to pull my pants off, not having bothered to put on underwear today since I hadn’t left my room save for breakfast and lunch. I grabbed the lube. “You show me all that training wasn’t for nothing, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
His brow rose. “Let’s find out.”
It turned out that all his training was, in fact, not for nothing.
Cade didn’t need both legs to lie over me, my cock in his mouth as he tried to use his mouth with his fingers deep inside me.
Not that he needed to be an expert, I loved the feeling of him inside me, and my dick sliding between his lips and tickling the back of his throat until he coughed and was forced to pull back.
I groaned as three fingers pushed into me, spreading apart like I told him, the tips pushing against my prostate and making the next bow of his head, pushing me into his throat make me see stars.
I wasn’t surprised when a fourth finger was added; I had told him that short of fisting, he would need to stretch me pretty good to handle him.
The process of getting to that point was intense, but it was made easier because I could lie there, knees up, and watch as he steadily gained more confidence in sucking me off while he stretched me open.
“Alright,” I said when I could feel that if he kept going, we were going to have to wait.
I wasn’t normally a hair trigger, but between the fact that it was Cade and the fact that I always got a lot more sensitive when my prostate was involved, I was damn near close to losing control right then and there. “Get on your back and relax.”
“You’re really gonna ride me?” he asked curiously.
“That a problem?” I asked, wondering if not using his leg might make him feel…half a man.
Heat sparked in his gaze. “No.”
I didn’t know why, but I knew that deep, rumbling tone of voice for the intense arousal it was.
Grinning, I let him roll over and snatched up the lube as I straddled his thighs to lube him up with a healthy measure that would make it easier to get him in, but not so sloppy that the friction both of us were going to crave would be absent.
I kept it on the bed near us just in case before scooching forward so I was straddling his hips.
Reaching behind me, I gripped the base of his cock and held it up, which proved to be a surprisingly difficult task with one hand, and I had to wonder what I was doing, letting something this heavy inside me.
Yet even that note of caution wasn’t enough to stop me.
I had fantasized about it enough times, both when I figured there was no chance of the fantasy ever coming true, and when I had realized there might be a chance.
There was no way I was going to back down now.
There was barely any resistance as I leaned back, the head popping in a moment later, and I paused there, my eyes going wide.
His fingers had been enough, but I had tightened up a bit in the time between him prepping me and actually getting him inside me.
There was no real pain or burn, but the sensation of just the head inside me was… a lot.
“Walker?” Cade asked softly, worry in his voice.
I looked down to see his hands resting on my thighs as he looked up at me with concern.
I winked and eased back, moaning as the first couple of inches slid into me easily, but letting me know I was definitely putting something substantial inside me.
It was like that the whole way down, and sometimes I had to stop, like when we got somewhere his fingers hadn’t been able to reach.
A toy would have been better for preparing me, but I wasn’t sure what the resort’s policy on sex toys was, and I didn’t think Cade would have appreciated it if I’d asked.
Cade never looked away, concerned as he watched me take my time to fit all of him inside me. By the time I was completely seated, I could feel a thin layer of sweat on my forehead. Which wasn’t even from his dick, but from the way I had to keep holding myself still so I didn’t take too much of him.