Cade #3
“Can’t say she doesn’t know how to keep him in line,” he said with a chuckle, gesturing toward the plate of food. “Eat, and while you do that, maybe give me the short version of why you outed yourself to your parents…apparently.”
“I didn’t…” I began, shoulders slumping in defeat because, yeah, that was basically what I had just done. “I dunno, I just…I hadn’t talked to ’em in a while, and the next thing I know, I was tellin’ ’em about you and it just…kinda happened.”
I looked over the food, smiling when I realized he had grabbed everything I would have wanted, down to the cornbread and greens that, while damn good here, weren’t quite the same as my mom’s.
There was a smothered pork chop as well, and a heap of potatoes in a covered bowl to keep warm along with the gravy for the pork chop and the potatoes, and a small selection of green beans.
“I’m almost afraid to ask, but why exactly did you decide to tell your parents we were fucking?”
I was glad I had no food in my mouth. I stared at him, mouth open before realizing I needed to form words. “I didn’t!”
“You tell me that’s not what your dad said,” he raised a brow at me.
“That’s just…because I wasn’t exactly makin’ a lot of sense,” I said, setting the fork down. “I told ’em I’d met someone, that it was a guy, that it was you, and then Mom was askin’ about it bein’ serious or somethin’, and I, uh…well, I wasn’t exactly plannin’ to tell ’em all that.”
Walker sat down with a smirk on his face. “You panicked.”
“No!” I said, shoving the food into my mouth and feeling it sear my tongue, but at least I could chew, which might hide my embarrassment.
“You definitely panicked,” he said with a crooked smile.
“I…yeah, fine, I did.” I admitted with a grumble. “I wasn’t ready for it and it just…fell out of my mouth. Felt like everythin’ I said made things worse.”
“Actually, you probably saved yourself a lot of problems down the line,” he said, getting up to poke his head out into the hallway. “When you said you weren’t going far, I assumed that meant you wouldn’t be lurking outside like a creep.”
“Hmm, with an accusation like that, I wonder if you haven’t been hanging around one of our Guides,” Reggie said as he reappeared. “I see you’re still on full display.”
“I’m wearin’ a towel,” I protested.
Walker looked down and made a strangled noise. “Close your legs, Cade. We can see…everything.”
I snapped my legs together, feeling my face warming again. “Fuck…sorry.”
“If you’re going to put on a show, you should at least charge money,” Reggie said, looking around. “Do you mind?”
“No, no, come in,” I said quickly, wishing I was dressed. Great, now my parents thought I was a gay slut, and Reggie had just seen everything I had. Not that I was worried about the guys around here seeing me naked, but it was weird that it was Reggie.
“I didn’t want to interrupt whatever you and your…Walker were talking about,” Reggie said, glancing between us.
“Subtle,” Walker muttered, rolling his eyes. “About as subtle as a brick to the face.”
Reggie grinned. “I only suspected there was more between you two than just old school comraderie and friendship. I’m a little surprised. I had you pegged as straight, Cade.”
“I already went through this with my parents; I ain’t doin’ it with you too,” I muttered into my plate of food. Who knew that being with a guy could cause so much embarrassment and annoyance in such a short amount of time? “What do ya want?”
“Manners,” Reggie said, but there was no bite to his words as he walked over to the kitchenette counter and leaned on it.
“Walker was the one who wanted me to join him coming back to your room. I hope this isn’t some announcement about you two.
I do not need to know about any relationships, romantic, sexual, or platonic…
unless it’s an unhealthy or abusive one. ”
“Do we seem like the type to get abused?” I asked wryly.
Reggie looked at me seriously. “Any man, woman, or child can be the victim of abuse, no matter how strong they are, or how well trained in combat. In fact, the men I knew who were victims of abuse were far stronger than their abusers, but their refusal to use reciprocal violence is precisely what allowed them to be victims. So, no, I don’t think either of you is abusing the other, but yes, it is possible. ”
“And on that cheery note,” Walker muttered as he sat down. “Cade is looking to do some one-on-one therapy.”
Reggie cocked his head. “Don’t get me wrong, I’m delighted to hear that, and I would be fascinated to know what led to this change after so many stays here at Arete. That said…my involvement isn’t necessary. The ability to sign up for counseling is doable through the system.”
Walker glanced at me. “Don’t make me be your mouthpiece here, Cade.”
“I didn’t say I wanted to talk to him now,” I muttered at him.
“And if we waited for you to start it on your own, we’d be waiting until next year,” Walker said, raising a brow when I glared at him harder. “You don’t scare me.”
“I ain’t tryin’ to scare you,” I grumbled.
“So you were just showing me your best war face?” Walker asked dryly.
“You ain’t cute.”
“A good thing I’ve always relied on being handsome and sexy; sometimes I even throw in witty for good measure just to spice things up.”
“I ain’t said you were those things either.”
“Not at the moment, you haven’t.”
Reggie sighed. “As much as I’m loving this banter between…boyfriends?”
“We’ve yet to settle what we are,” Walker said, his lips twitching when he saw me perk up. “I figured we would get things settled with you first before we deal with our own…discussion.”
“Right, and again, I am a little confused why I am being brought into this, so perhaps someone could elaborate?”
I sighed, poking some green beans around the plate. “Well, as much as I want to…try to work with a shrink, I’m not sure I want the ones here.”
“Is there something wrong with the therapists on staff?” Reggie wondered.
“No, I’m sure they’re great, but I see ’em all the time, and they’re…I don’t know. Kinda like you.”
“Kind of like…me.”
I glanced pleadingly at Walker, who sighed and rolled his eyes.
“Familiar. They’re all familiar to him. And before you say it, yes, I know you’d want a level of familiarity between patient and therapist, but that doesn’t always work.
I think in his head, they’ve all become like background characters in a sense.
Like they’ve lost their luster of professionalism. ”
“I see,” Reggie said, frowning. “And that means—”
“If we can… Could there be someone else?” I wondered, looking down at my plate rather than at either of them. “Maybe someone who might…get me?”
“There are several therapists we have good relationships with who specialize in PTSD, and a few were active in the armed forces,” Reggie said slowly. “Something like that?”
I peeked up at him cautiously. “Can that happen?”
“Normally I would be wary of bringing someone in from the outside, as it runs contrary to how we prefer to handle things, but also the expense can be prohibitive,” he said and then smiled when my shoulders hunched.
“But you’ll find that things aren’t as stiff around here about policies and preferences as when you were a soldier.
We take private donations and funding. Which means we’re beholden to no one.
I will have to speak to Mr. Shepherd, but I can’t see him having an issue with it. Asking would be a formality.”
“I’d hope he wouldn’t mind extending a little help to one of his long-timers,” Walker said dryly.
“There is that,” Reggie said, pointing at him. “But we have seen quite an increase in funding in the past year. That alone can grease some wheels. I’ll talk to Marc about it, and when I’ve got a few options that might work, we can talk. Should I expect you there as well, Walker?”
“That’s not up to me,” Walker said with a shrug.
“Yes,” I said quickly and then flushed. “Sorry, but I ain’t good at talkin’ about this stuff. It gets all…jumbled.”
“That should certainly make your therapy appointments a unique experience,” Reggie chuckled.
“Aw, hell,” I muttered, not having thought about needing to show up to appointments on my own. Not that I would expect Walker to be with me for the therapy, but so far he’d done a superb job at explaining things that I couldn’t.
“Then I’ll let you know when I have options for you to look over,” Reggie said, pushing away from the counter and heading for the door. “Message me if you need anything until then.”
Walker watched the door close and snorted. “You know, he really got on my nerves when I first got here…but I’m warming up to him.”
“He’s good people,” I said with a sigh. “And has a lot of patience.”
“I suppose that comes with the territory,” he said, getting up before sliding onto my towel-covered lap. “You okay?”
“I guess…I mean, I think I am. I just…there’s a lot goin’ on here,” I said, gesturing at my head. Then I looked up at him and smiled as I felt his weight pressing down. I wrapped an arm around his waist and held him against me. “Hi.”
“Hi,” he said with a soft smile. “Now…should we talk about your parents wanting me to make an honest man out of you…apparently.”
My face warmed again. “They didn’t mean we should get married; they ain’t that old-fashioned.”
“No, maybe not, but they seem to want you to be more than just…what was it your dad said…screwing around?”
“I swear, he wasn’t bein’ an ass, he’s just…kinda honest.”
“Mmm, I know the type,” he said with a smile, pressing his lips to my forehead. “Is this your terrible and awkward way of asking if I want us to be more than fuck buddies?”
“Kinda,” I admitted, peering up at him and feeling a new warmth blooming in my chest at the sight of him looking amused yet content.
“I mean…I know it’s not the best time or place for it.
Everythin’ is kinda weird right now, but everythin’ we been doin’ has felt…
right. This feels right; it don’t matter that you’re a guy, not anymore anyway.
’Cause you’re just you, and that’s what I like the most… though your butt is pretty nice.”
“Pretty nice, huh?” he asked wryly. “Normally that would be lackluster, but coming from a former straight man, that’s practically a raving five-star review.”
“It’s real nice,” I said with a growl, reaching to grip his thigh. “And when I’m done here, I’ll show ya how much I like it.”
He laughed softly, wrapping an arm around my neck. “Are you sure? You really want to make a relationship out of this?”
I hesitated. “If ya don’t—”
“I never said that,” he said, with a shake of his head. “I just… Are you sure? You’re not going to turn around a few months from now and realize this was all great fun, but it’s not for you?”
I frowned. “I may not have been as straight as I thought, but that don’t mean I don’t know how I’m feelin’…not about this, anyway.”
“And who am I to argue?” he asked lightly, stroking the back of my head. “Dating it is. No more wild nights with guy after guy for me.”
“Okay, you,” I growled, tightening my grip and picking him up as I got to my feet.
“Holy shit,” he said with a wild laugh as I swung him through the air. “Alright, alright! You’ve made your point.”
“Nope,” I said as I deposited him on the bed. “But I’m gonna in a minute.”
His wicked grin was all I needed to know that everything was going to be great.