Chapter 15
Learning to Lose Balance
It’s almost impossible to predict when you’re living them what moments will mark a before and after. But on that October afternoon when I was just thirteen, I knew it.
I put on my skates and went out onto the ice alone. For weeks, I’d been obsessively watching videos of a skater doing pirouettes and spinning around more times than seemed possible. And I’d decided I was going to do that too, even if I was far away from it just then.
I glided out toward the center, tried a turn, fell.
I looked around, but there was no one watching.
Even the girl in the ticket box was distracted, chewing gum and looking at a magazine.
I got back up and tried again. Again, the results were disastrous.
And I tried again and again. My knees were aching from hitting the ice, but my stubbornness won out.
I got up, gathered momentum, leaned onto the sweet spot just behind the toe pick, and fell on the ground again.
I don’t know how many times I tried it, but when I left the ice, my legs were shaking and my muscles throbbing.
I finished not much better than I’d started, so I could have told myself I’d failed, but on my way out, braced by the autumn wind, I had a revelation that marked a before and after in my life: I understood that success is made of many little failures.
And when you stop being scared of losing your balance and falling, absolutely everything changes.