Chapter 14
Julian fidgeted before Evelyn’s judgemental stare.
They were standing in the front foyer of Ravenscar House, after he’d asked Evelyn if she could arrange for him to meet Verity there.
He had some apologizing to do.
“Tell me why I should allow you to speak to her,” Evelyn demanded.
“I think it is best that stays between Verity and me.”
“You had a chance last night, but you made a mockery of that, didn’t you?”
“I was caught off guard. All this time, she’s lied to me about who she was.”
Evelyn crossed her arms over her chest. “She never lied about who she was. She just didn’t tell you that she was the woman you were interested in at the masquerade. If you couldn’t even recognize her, then why should you have been privileged enough to know such information?”
He rubbed his forehead. “I knew the woman was familiar. I knew Verity was familiar. I just never would have thought—”
“That what? Verity could be as captivating as the woman she was that night?”
“She was just so different than how she usually is. And not just in how she dressed.”
“I know,” Evelyn said, softening somewhat. “And I could forgive you for that. But I am most concerned that you left her in the gardens last night after you discovered the truth, making her feel that she was less than worthy of you.”
“That is ridiculous. She will always be far more worthy than I could ever be.”
“That’s not how she feels.”
“Which is why I need to talk to her. To make her believe otherwise. To apologize.”
Evelyn tapped her foot on the ground. “I’m not against you speaking to her, but I need to know what your plan is here, Julian. What are you going to tell her, to promise her?”
“I can’t promise her anything, Evelyn, you know that. I just want her to know that she is attractive and deserving, and even if I cannot give her any more than a flirtation, any man would be very fortunate to receive interest from a woman like her.”
Evelyn eyed him.
“Very well. As long as you don’t make her a promise you can’t keep.”
“Never.”
Another presence suddenly hung over the room, and Julian looked up to see Asher lurking in the doorway.
“I knew this was a bad idea from the start,” was all he said before walking away.
“On that note,” Evelyn said, “she is waiting for you in the sitting room.”
“She’s been waiting there this entire time?” Julian said in shock. “Why’d you make me go through this inquisition?”
“Why would I not?” she shrugged. “I still had to make sure you deserved to see her. You’d better go before I change my mind.”
Julian was still shaking his head at her when he knocked tentatively on the door of the sitting room. Verity was sitting on the edge of the sofa, her gaze out the front window and onto the Mayfair street.
“Verity?” he said gently, and she turned and straightened, standing and smoothing out her gown.
“Good afternoon.”
“That’s rather formal.”
“As we should be with one another, should we not, Lord Julian?”
“Verity, I do apologize. Greatly. I was rather shocked last night at discovering the truth of your… dual identity, but I should not have run away as I did. I just needed time to think about everything.”
And he had. All night, in fact. He had barely slept, and for the life of him, he didn’t know why.
What did it matter that the two women were one and the same?
He had been attracted to each of them, had kissed both of them, and yet…
somehow combining the two of them made her into the perfect woman for him, which was the most disconcerting part of all of this.
“And?”
“And…”
“And what conclusion have you come to after you have thought about everything?”
He stepped further into the room, so that they were only an arm’s length apart. Now that he was staring into those purple-blue eyes again, he could hardly believe that he hadn’t been able to recognize them. He had never seen that color before and likely never would again.
“I have concluded that I understand your intentions. You transformed into someone else for a night, to be different from the woman everyone knows and assumes is Lady Verity. You didn’t tell me because you were concerned that I would be upset or judge you, perhaps.
And you asked me to help you after the masquerade because you knew what I was capable of after we danced together in the gardens. ”
“All near to accurate,” she said softly. “Sufficiently summarized.”
“Let me ask you something,” he said, moving slightly closer toward her.
“The woman you were that night… was that completely an act, or was that part of you? Because I think there is a side to you that you don’t show the world—the same side that wanted these lessons in flirtation.
Who wants to indulge in a little amusement, scandalous or not. ”
She locked her fingers together, but looked up at him imploringly.
“It all started as a bit of fun. We wanted to see if I could fool anyone, or if I would be recognized,” she said.
“I could hardly believe the amount of attention I received. It was… well, I suppose it was thrilling, to be honest with you. It wasn’t as though I wanted to become that person indefinitely, but I thought that perhaps there were pieces of her I could keep.
It just didn’t seem possible without the mask. ”
“Which is why you came to me.”
“I never planned on it. But you wanted to see the letters, and after our kiss at the masquerade, I had this idea and thought… why not?”
“So what do you want now?” he asked, sitting on the sofa, drawing her down with him. She wasn’t wearing gloves, and her hands were soft in his. So soft, in fact, he didn’t want to let go.
“Now? I thought you wouldn’t want anything further to do with me.”
“Why would you think that?”
“Well, after last night… You seemed appalled.”
“Just surprised. Because the thing is, Verity, I feel something of a fool for never seeing you before this.”
“I never wanted anyone to.”
“Well, now I do, and I cannot unsee you. I also want very much to kiss you again.”
He must have shocked her, for her eyes widened dramatically.
“So what do we do?”
“Remember how I told you to be very careful not to get caught?”
“Yes.”
“It seems I’ll be having to take my own advice.”
He then did the unthinkable—something a man like Julian would never have done before.
He kissed a very eligible young lady in the middle of the Duke of Ravenscar’s sitting room.
For the briefest instant, even as he bent toward her, he expected himself to stop—to recall every rule he had lived by, every careful calculation that had governed his life.
A gentleman, especially one who had no interest in marrying, did not behave so recklessly.
A gentleman did not risk a lady’s reputation on impulse.
And yet, the moment his lips met hers, all such considerations scattered like dust.
She was warm—softer than he had imagined, though he had no business imagining her like this at all—and utterly still beneath the first press of his mouth, likely startled. The realization should have undone him.
Instead, it drew him further in.
His hand found her waist before he consciously decided to touch her, steadying her—or perhaps himself—as he deepened the kiss by a fraction.
He told himself he would withdraw at once, knowing this was madness.
That he had made his point, whatever that point had been.
That they could be caught, and all that he had avoided for so long would come find him.
But then she moved.
Her actions were slight—so slight that anyone else might have missed them. A soft breath, a shift closer, her hand curling into the front of his coat.
God help him.
He lingered.
Not long—he was not so far gone as to forget himself entirely—but long enough to know that he would remember the exact shape of her lips, the quiet surrender of that moment, for far longer than was wise.
When he finally drew back, it felt less like a decision and more like a necessity—like surfacing for air after venturing too far beneath the water.
His gaze dropped to her face, searching, half-expecting shock or outrage.
Instead, he found something far more dangerous.
“Verity,” he said softly, though his voice had lost its usual easy polish. “That was not a lesson in what you should do. That was more risk than you should ever take on.”
And yet, even as he said it, he knew one thing with absolute certainty.
He would do it again.
“Where do we go from here?” she whispered.
“That depends.”
She lifted her face to him. “On what?”
“On you. Why did you want these lessons?”
“To have fun,” she reiterated, tilting her head slightly, her lips pink and a bit swollen from his kiss. “I told you that.”
“If there is one thing I can offer, Verity, it is amusement,” he said.
“If that’s what you’d like to continue to do, I’ll have it with you, and the promise I can make is that I will keep you safe and protected.
But only if you still want this and if you understand that I cannot offer anything past that. ”
“I understand,” she said softly before looking up at him with a twinkle in her eye. “Are you sure you won’t find yourself falling for me, Julian?”
He laughed at her mischievousness, even as his stomach strangely twisted.
For while he didn’t want to marry, enjoying his life free of being tied down—at least for now—he already felt something for Verity.
Affection, he supposed he could call it.
He would just have to make sure to keep that contained.
“What about Eastclere?” Verity murmured. “What do we do about him?”
“Let’s see what we can find out without having to resort to flirtation—unless that’s what you want,” Julian said, his stomach twisting further at the thought.
“Very well,” Verity said, relief on her face. “I wasn’t particularly interested in marrying him, anyway.”
“Did he actually propose to you, or was it more of an implied courtship?” Julian asked, interested in their history.
Verity looked down at her hands in her lap.
“My parents first arranged another marriage for me, but the gentleman told his own parents that he had no interest in me and broke the arrangement,” she said, looking up and meeting him in the eye. “But of course, you know all about that.”
He furrowed his brow. What was she talking about? Before he could question her, she continued on in a rush.
“So then they spoke with the Marquess of Eastclere, for the former marquess and my father were quite close. Marriage was discussed between the current Lord Eastclere and me. We began a courtship of sorts, going for a carriage ride, having a few dances, sharing dinner with our parents present, but it was so forced and formal. I could barely speak to him, nor he to me, and we decided that it was best for both of us not to proceed, even if it made sense on paper.”
Julian nodded, even though he was still curious about the beginning of the conversation. “But why—”
“Verity?” Evelyn interrupted the conversation before Julian could even ask. “Is all well?”
“All is well,” she said with a warm smile. “Thank you for the apology, Julian. I hope you accept my own as well. I’d best be going now. Good afternoon.”
She walked away with a swish of skirts, leaving a floral scent in her wake, and all Julian could think was that he couldn’t wait to see her again.