Chapter 23
Most of the wedding breakfast passed so quickly that Verity hardly had time to realize what was happening or how everyone was responding.
It was course after course that she barely touched, although she wasn’t sure if it was because she had tested far too much of it or she was too overwhelmed by the wedding itself.
She kept stealing glances at Julian.
Her husband.
It was nearly too difficult to believe.
“Verity?” Julian murmured in her ear after the final course was finished and the guests began to leave the table. The ladies were to retire to the drawing room while the gentlemen had one last drink. “Could I have a moment alone?”
“Do you not have to stay?”
“It is my wedding breakfast,” he shrugged. “If there was ever a day to do as I pleased, is it not today?”
“I suppose you’re right,” she said, leaning into his spirit of not caring what others thought, of doing as they wished without concern for anyone else.
He led her into the front parlor, and it took her a moment to realize that it didn’t matter they were alone together anymore. They could be alone together as much as they wished.
In fact, she could be alone with anyone if she so chose.
The idea of no longer requiring a chaperone was certainly freeing.
She looked up at Julian, waiting for something to feel different, for there to be a change between them, but he was so free-spirited, so open, that she felt nothing but the same comfort she always had.
Which only confirmed she had made the right decision. It settled in her chest with a certainty that she could not deny, the relief spreading through her so overwhelming she nearly had to sit down.
“Are you all right?” Julian asked, reaching out and taking her elbow.
“Yes, I’m fine,” she said with a small smile. “It’s just been an overwhelming few days.”
“I understand,” he said, but still, he led her over to the sofa. “There is so much for us to say to one another, but before it’s too late, there is something we should discuss.”
“Yes?”
“My uncle Charles was the other letter writer,” he whispered.
“Yes. To my aunt Mabel.”
“I gathered as much,” he said, pressing his lips together. “Did they seem… tense between one another to you this morning? This must be the first time they’ve seen each other since she left for the country.”
“I hadn’t noticed,” she said. She had been too concerned about her own part to play this morning. “We shall have to keep an eye on whether they speak or not.”
“We should,” he agreed, just as they heard voices down the corridor. It sounded very much like Mabel and—Verity met Julian’s eyes.
“Is that Charles?” she whispered, and when he nodded, they both tried to overcome their surprise as they realized they were heading this way.
“Is there anywhere to hide in here?” he asked, and she answered by pulling him across the room behind the long, navy, floor-to-ceiling curtains.
There was plenty of room for them to stand side by side, but Julian reached out and pulled her close to him as they waited, hearing only their own breathing and the growing voices of Charles and Mabel as they entered the room and closed the door behind them.
“—don’t understand why you’re avoiding me,” Mabel’s voice cut through the quiet room. “It’s been fifteen years, Charles.”
Verity held her breath, acutely aware of Julian’s body pressed against hers behind the heavy curtain. The warmth of him, the steady rhythm of his breathing, kept her anchored as she strained to hear more.
“I’m not avoiding you, Mabel.” Charles’s voice sounded weary, older than Verity remembered from earlier. “There’s simply nothing left to say.”
“Nothing left to say?” Mabel’s voice rose slightly. “After what you asked me to do? After you used me to protect your family’s secrets and then disappeared without a word?”
Julian’s hand tightened on Verity’s waist. She could feel the tension in every line of his body.
“I didn’t disappear. You left for the country.”
“Because you wouldn’t see me, Charles! You wouldn’t speak to me. One moment we were writing those letters, planning a future, and the next…” Mabel’s voice caught. “What you asked me to do could be considered treason, Charles! But I did it anyway. For you. Because I loved you.”
Verity’s eyes widened. She felt Julian go completely still beside her.
“I know what I asked of you,” Charles said, his voice dropping to a whisper. “And I’ve regretted it every day since.”
“Then why?” Mabel demanded. “Why break things off after I did what you asked? Why use me as you did?”
“No!” The word came out sharp, pained. “God, no, I never meant to use you. I loved you, Mabel. That’s why I couldn’t bear to face you afterward.”
“Explain it to me, then. After all these years, I deserve that much.”
A long silence followed. Verity could hear nothing but the pounding of her own heart, Julian’s breath in her ear, and the soft tick of the mantel clock.
“I was ashamed,” Charles finally said, his voice barely audible. “Ashamed of what I’d asked you to do. Ashamed of my brother and what he’d gotten involved in. Ashamed that I’d dragged you into it.”
“So, you thought the solution was to break my heart?” Mabel’s voice trembled.
“I thought it was the kindest thing I could do.” Charles’s voice cracked. “Don’t you see? How could I ever be worthy of you? How could I ask you to tie yourself to a family with such darkness in its past?”
“We could have talked about it, Charles. We could have faced it together.”
“You deserved better than me. You still do.”
“Don’t you think that should have been my decision to make?”
Another silence stretched between them. Verity felt Julian’s breath hot against her neck as he pulled her in tight, as still as she’d ever known him to be.
“Charles,” Mabel said finally, her voice softer now. “There was mention of the diamond in your letters to me.”
“I know. You do not need to worry about any of it now. It’s all in the past.”
“But if it’s still affecting our families—”
“It’s not. I’ve made sure of it.” Charles’s voice hardened slightly. “But we can’t speak of this again, Mabel. Not to anyone. What happened between us, what you did for my family—it needs to stay buried.”
Footsteps approached their hiding spot, and Verity tensed. But they passed by, heading toward the door. Mabel must be leaving, for her voice was farther away now.
“I’ve kept your secret all these years,” Mabel said quietly. “I just wish you’d trusted me enough to let me in.”
The door opened and closed, leaving Verity and Julian alone in the sudden silence.
“I think we’re safe to leave now,” Julian said, peeking out from behind the curtain before taking her hand and tugging her forward. The air beyond was fresh after the stifling curtain, and Verity breathed it in swiftly as she blinked her eyes rapidly at the sudden bright light.
She didn’t take much time to enjoy the freshness, though, instead immediately turning to him.
“Julian, did you know—”
“Verity, there you are!” Lady Archer’s voice startled them both as the door swung open again. Julian’s mother stood in the doorway, her expression unusually solemn. “I’ve been looking for you.”
Verity smoothed her dress, wondering if Lady Archer would read into the flush in their cheeks as caused by something else—not that it mattered, anymore, she reminded herself. She could no longer be ruined with Julian. They were married now.
“Mother,” Julian said, his voice carefully controlled. “Is something wrong?”
Lady Archer’s eyes moved between them, too astute to miss their dishevelment. A small smile touched her lips before disappearing. “Not at all. I simply wanted to speak with Verity for a moment.”
Julian began to protest, and his mother sighed.
“I suppose you can remain, Julian, for you might as well know this too.”
“Thank you.”
Lady Archer gestured for Verity to sit. She did so, her heart still racing from what they’d overheard.
“I wanted to apologize to you,” Lady Archer said, sitting beside her. “For what happened years ago. But I do believe that it all worked out as it was meant to.”
Verity blinked, exchanging a glance with Julian, but he seemed just as bewildered as she was. “I’m not sure I understand.”
“Your parents had met with us to arrange a marriage between you and one of my sons.” Lady Archer’s hands twisted in her lap.
“James was already committed to Mary, so your father asked about Julian. The message he eventually received—that you heard—was that Julian wasn’t interested.
It wasn’t until Julian asked me about this that I was even aware either of you knew of the situation. ”
The words hit Verity like a physical blow. She blinked at Julian’s mother. “What?”
“It wasn’t that we didn’t think you would suit—you were always a lovely girl.
But Julian…” She sighed. “He wasn’t ready for marriage then.
He was reckless, irresponsible. We didn’t think he would make a good husband for you or anyone.
Julian’s father tried to insist on the match, for he thought it would help ground Julian, but I knew where it would lead.
I spoke with your mother privately, and we agreed it would be best not to move forward.
She spoke to your father, providing him the reason we devised. ”
Verity’s mouth went dry.
“Why wouldn’t you tell me about this?” Julian burst out, standing, pacing back and forth. “I deserved to make this decision myself.”
“Perhaps, but we thought it best how we handled it. You just needed a few more years to find yourself.” Lady Archer’s eyes were earnest. “Watching you two today, I can see we were wrong to keep it from you, Julian, for maybe Verity would have changed your mind then. Something’s changed in you.
I can tell by the way you look at your wife that you really, truly care. ”
Verity’s heart flipped over in her chest at that, but she wasn’t entirely sure how to respond. All this time, she had held his dismissal of her against him, but it turned out that it hadn’t been Julian at all.
His expression was stormy as he turned back around.
“I’m sorry, Verity,” he said quietly, looking at her and not his mother. “I had no idea.”
“I thought it was you who rejected me,” she whispered, her heart quickening.
“I shall leave you be now,” Lady Archer said. “The ceremony was beautiful, and I am glad that the two of you found one another. And perhaps… perhaps it is best that you did so without any interference, that you were able to find that bond yourselves instead of you being forced together.”
Neither of them answered her, as the silence that followed was deafening. Lady Archer slipped quietly from the room, leaving them alone with the weight of this revelation.
“All this time,” Julian said slowly, moving to sit beside Verity once more.
“All this time, I thought you were referring to Eastclere when you spoke of past rejection. I would never have done so in such a callous manner. Is this why you’ve always been so cold toward me?
How you could so easily believe that I would steal a diamond, would stoop to such levels? ”
Verity nodded, unable to find words.
“And you still married me.” His voice was wondering, almost reverent.
“Yes.” The word came out barely a whisper.
Julian reached for her hand, his fingers intertwining with hers.
“Verity, I cannot say that I would have been ready for marriage back then. But I do know that it would have caused me to truly see you and that maybe I would have come to the same conclusion I have now—that I want you and need you in my life.”
Tears stung her eyes. “I believe you.”
He leaned forward, his forehead touching hers. “We have so much to talk about. About what we just overheard, about the diamond, about… everything.”
“Yes,” Verity agreed, suddenly overwhelmed by the tangled web of secrets surrounding them. “But not now.”
Julian pulled back slightly, studying her face. “No?”
“No.” She took a deep breath. “Now, I think we should go home. This wedding breakfast has lasted all day. Can our wedding night not begin sooner than it properly should?”
For the first time since the ceremony, Julian’s face broke into that smile she loved so well—the one that reached his eyes and made her feel as though she were the only woman in the world.
“Yes,” he said, standing and pulling her to her feet. “Yes, it certainly must.”