Chapter Ten #2
His eyes widened, then narrowed in confusion. “But—”
She exited the alcove and hurried to the staircase. With a quick glance over her shoulder, she said, “I’m sorry, my lord. But I…I cannot.”
“Selena.” He held out a hand, beseeching her to return.
But she took step back, her heart that had been soaring only moments before now cracking.
“I’m sorry,” she said again before whirling around and descending the winding stairs so hastily she had to close her eyes against the brief dizziness that resulted once she reached the bottom.
He stood there, staring down at her, confusion rife on his face.
She gave him one last glance and then ran from the library.
Damn it all to hell in a handbasket!
She gathered her skirts and hurried back to the salon, part of her hoping he’d follow her. But a larger part praying he wouldn’t. If he asked again, she wasn’t confident she’d be able to say no again. And she needed to. She couldn’t let him become yet another casualty to her curse.
Everything had been going so well. And then he had to go and ruin it with a proposal!
Argh! She didn’t want to let herself think of it.
How had she managed to find the one rake in London who would turn all noble and propose after one kiss?
Well, two, she supposed, or three. Not that she wanted to put too fine a point on it.
What she wanted was… She stopped, her hand resting on the salon’s doorknob, and let out a deep sigh.
What she wanted was to say yes.
But that would doom them both.
She turned the knob and went inside. Jane was already on her feet, her eyes alight with curiosity.
“Well, what happened?” Her piercing gaze took in Selena’s likely disheveled and distraught appearance, and she frowned, crossing her arms. “Oh, dear, you didn’t run from him again did you?”
“He asked me to marry him!” Selena said, by way of explanation.
Jane, however, didn’t seem to understand. She clasped her hands together with a delighted gasp, her face lighting in a smile.
“Who asked you to marry him?” another voice said.
Selena spun with a gasp, bringing her face to face with her mother.
“They arrived just after you left to show Lord Loc—where is he?” Jane asked, leaning slightly to look over Jane’s shoulder at the open salon door.
The faint sound of the front door closing carried into them, and Selena winced. “I believe he has just departed.”
“What? Why?” Jane frowned.
Selena rubbed a hand over her forehead and looked past Jane to the small table set near the salon’s bay windows. “Hello, Father,” she said, giving him a faint smile.
Her father nodded at her in greeting from his seat and raised his teacup to his lips, more intent on refreshing himself after their journey in from the country than haranguing her about what she’d unfortunately just let slip in their presence.
Her mother, on the other hand, had no such compunction.
“Yes, yes, hello dear,” her mother said, giving her a kiss on the cheek. “Now, what is this about a marriage proposal?”
Her mother took Selena’s hands and dragged her to sit beside her on the sofa. Jane sat opposite them, looking both amused and sympathetic. And full of curiosity.
Selena sighed, cursing herself for not being more aware of her surroundings before blurting out such news.
“It’s nothing. A misunderstanding,” she said.
Her mother frowned. “I don’t see how it could be a misunderstanding. The man either proposed or he did not. Of whom are we speaking again?” she asked, turning to Jane.
“Edward, the Marquess of Lockhaven, Lady Griffiths,” Jane answered.
“Lockhaven?” her father piped up, reaching across the table to pick up another slice of cake. “Is he one of the Brelsford boys, then? The Duke of Haltham’s son?”
“Yes, Sir Rawley,” Jane said. “The eldest.”
“Well, now, that is good news,” he said. “Well done, Selena. Quite a step up from the rest of the lot. Present company excluded, of course,” he mumbled, apparently belatedly realizing that Jane might take offense on behalf of her dearly departed brother.
“Yes, indeed,” her mother said, clapping her hands together.
“My daughter, first a marchioness and then a duchess! We shall have the banns read at once. No lingering engagement. We don’t want to tempt fate for a repeat of what happened last time with that—” She waved her hand in the air as if she were trying to shake off something unpleasant.
And while Selena didn’t necessarily disagree with her mother’s assessment of her brief and ill-fated engagement to Otto von Richter, she was missing the point.
“No! No banns, Mother. There will be no wedding. I turned him down.”
Everyone in the room stopped and stared at her. Her parents in utter shock. Mr. Haddon, who was so quiet most of the time that Selena forgot he was in the room with alarming frequency, merely looked confused. Jane was the only one who didn’t seem surprised. Sad, but not surprised.
“You did what?” her mother finally asked, a hand pressed to her bosom. “Why? Why would you do such a thing? He is a marquess, Selena!”
She dragged in a deep breath through her nose and waved her hand in the air, not waiting for Selena’s reply.
“Never you mind. I’m sure you can take it back.
We’ll all go to call on him, explain that there’s been a misunderstanding.
That you will of course marry him. I’m sure he’ll understand. And then—”
“No, Mother,” Selena said. “I cannot go through it all again.”
Her mother stopped, her shoulders drooping slightly as she gazed at Selena with sympathy.
“Oh, my dear,” she said, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “I know you haven’t had the best of luck, but—”
“Haven’t had the best of luck?” Selena scoffed. “I have been widowed four times, Mother. Four! Every last one of them on our wedding day. Or… soon after.” Her cheeks flushed hotly at the memory of Charles’s death on their wedding night. Her gaze flashed quickly to Jane and then away again.
“And the fifth,” she continued, then shook her head.
“Was a mistake. A mistake that Otto thankfully did not make worse by actually marrying me. He saved us both when he abandoned me on our wedding day. And I won’t be tempting fate a sixth time.
I am not normally one to believe in things like curses or even ill luck, but when it comes to me…
to this…” She took another deep breath before continuing, letting it out slowly to calm herself before she became truly vexed.
“It may have taken me a distressingly long time to learn this lesson but learn it I did. I was not meant for marriage. And I won’t condemn another man to that fate. ”
Especially this man.
She blanched at the thought but forced herself to continue. “Nor will I subject myself to further pain or humiliation. It’s better to just leave well enough alone.”
Her mother’s lips pinched, and she turned to her husband. “Rawley, talk some sense into your daughter.”
Selena met her father’s gaze, nerves gripping her stomach. But she held her shoulders back and kept her gaze steady. And after a moment, he smiled, his kind eyes crinkling gently, before looking back to her mother.
“Let it go, Catherine. She has security enough and is happy with her life, yes?” he asked, glancing back at her.
Selena only hesitated a second before nodding. If her father caught her hesitation, he didn’t remark upon it.
Her mother scowled but stood, brushing her hands across her skirts. It seemed that for the moment at least, she would leave the matter alone. Selena let out a small sigh of relief as Jane also stood to summon the footman.
“Please escort Sir Rawley and Lady Griffiths to their room,” she requested.
The boy nodded and waited as Selena’s parents kissed her cheek and swept from the room.
The moment the door closed, Selena slumped back against the sofa and put her hand over her eyes.
She had scarce drawn two breaths when the cushions beside her dipped under Jane’s weight, and she cracked an eye open to look up at her friend.
“Now,” Jane said with undisguised delight. “Tell me everything.”