Chapter Thirteen
Madness, it might have been. But it was passionate, exquisite, utterly delicious madness. She hadn’t meant to do it. She’d wanted only to stop the never-ending stream of truth that seemed to pour from his lips.
Yet there they were. Kissing. Alone in his guest chamber. In his bed…
Selena jerked back, slapping her hand to her mouth. “My lord. I’m so sorry—”
He shook his head, trying to close the distance between them again. “Don’t be.”
“But I just…I kissed you.”
“I’m aware. I quite enjoyed it.”
“I didn’t mean to. You were just talking so much and I simply…wished you to stop.”
He chuckled. “So, you kissed me?”
She nodded numbly, and he laughed again. “Interesting strategy, but I must admit, it was quite effective.”
“So it seems,” she mumbled.
“Perhaps you’d better do it again, just to keep me quiet.”
She shook her head, still horrified that she had done it the first time.
Well, horrified was rather a strong word.
Mortified, certainly. Though she couldn’t quite bring herself to truly regret it.
She’d been dreaming of just such a moment since the second he had sauntered into that ballroom so many weeks ago.
And now, every cell in her body screamed at her to do as he asked and kiss him again. “I…I cannot.”
“Are you certain?” he asked, capturing her hands and pulling her toward him as he leaned closer.
“Because I do have a terrible habit of letting my mouth run away with me.” He kissed each of her hands.
Then turned them over and kissed her wrists, sending a riot of gooseflesh up her arms, and a bolt of heat straight to her core.
“In fact,” he said, “I feel another bout coming on now, and who knows what sort of nonsense I might start spoutin—”
Selena didn’t stop to think, she just lunged again. She was tired of thinking. She wanted him. They both knew it. Denying it was becoming exhausting. Soul crushing.
Their lips crashed together again, and he pulled her to him with a moan.
Sweet heaven, she could spend the rest of her life in that moment, wrapped in his arms, his lips moving over hers.
How could something so simple be so shattering.
Life-changing. Every brush of his lips against hers, every touch of his hands as they moved up her back and up to her face, every moment of their breath mingling as they explored each other branded her as his. And being his? She wanted nothing more.
But that was a fate that would only doom them both.
“Wait,” she said, breaking away again. “We can’t.”
“Why ever not?” he murmured, kissing the corner of her mouth.
Her eyes fluttered closed again as she gave in to the utter elation of his touch. His arms wrapped about her, and she nearly sobbed when his tongue licked at the seam of her lips. She could do naught but open to him, sink into his kiss, and let herself drown in the exquisite bliss.
“My lord,” she gasped, finally wrenching her lips from his and drawing back as she tried to drag enough breath into her lungs. Though that didn’t stop him. He merely found other areas to taste, touch.
“What is it, love?” he asked, his hooded eyes, dark with passion, gazing down at her.
Her mind brought up one hazy argument after another why she should stop this, even as she arched her neck to give him better access.
She sucked in a breath with a near sob. How could such a simple touch feel so incredibly good. “I could be ruined.”
“Hmm,” he said, his mouth moving from her lips to the sensitive skin beneath her ear. “Only if I don’t marry you.”
She jerked back as if someone had tossed ice cold water on her. “You…you can’t marry me.”
Marrying him condemned him. Not marrying him—if they were caught together—would condemn her. A fate she preferred over his, certainly. But neither fate was particularly appealing.
Aside from the fact that they would be together. Nothing appealed to her more. But if the curse were to strike again, she knew with every fiber of her being, this time she would not recover.
“Oh? And why not?” He arched that brow of his again. “Have I not made my intentions obvious enough? I have asked you to marry me several times.”
Selena frowned. “You’ve only asked me once.”
“Truly?” Edward said with a frown of his own. Then he shrugged. “Once is usually all it takes in these matters, though I could have sworn it had been at least twice. In any case, I can remedy that. Marry me.”
“My lord—”
“Edward.”
She sucked in a breath through her nose, her head beginning to pound again. “My lord.”
He sighed and cupped her cheek in his hand, resting his forehead against hers. The sweetness of the gesture was enough to halt any further protests from her lips.
“If we are to be wed, I would like to hear you call me Edward. You’ve done it once or twice before. By accident, surely,” he said with a wry smile. He moved his head to whisper in her ear. “I would like to hear it again. On purpose, this time. Selena.”
She closed her eyes, a delightful shiver running up her spine despite her misgivings. “Edward.”
He smiled and captured her lips again and for half a heartbeat she allowed herself to sink into him. Do nothing but feel. Pretend she could allow this to continue. Allow herself to do what she really wanted and accept him.
But her brain intruded yet again, and she once again jerked back. Damn the man and the spell he kept casting over her. “No. You can’t mean—we cannot—”
He gave her an amused, but exasperated, look. “What? Wed? Of course we can. You just have to say yes. I’ll even ask again.”
He pressed his lips to hers in a kiss so sweet she nearly sobbed. “Marry me, Selena.”
“I…I…”
He did it again. “You only have to say yes, and we can fully explore whatever this is between us without any danger hanging over our heads.”
If only he knew how untrue that was. Even without the curse, what man wanted to be a woman’s fifth husband?
Otto had proven that when he’d left her at the altar.
How could she begin to explain her tortured past?
Saying yes to Edward meant not only putting his life in jeopardy but informing him of all the men who had come before him.
She couldn’t marry him without him knowing.
And if he knew, he wouldn’t want to marry her.
Which was perhaps the best reason of all to tell him everything. No matter how painful losing him would be.
His gaze turned worried the longer the silence stretched. “If you truly do not wish to marry, I will be with you in whatever way you wish,” he said, his words somehow breaking and healing her heart all at once. “As long as we are together.”
“But…”
“But,” he echoed. “My wish is for you to be my wife.” He drew her into his arms again, and she could do naught but wrap her own around him. “Marry. Me.” He kissed her between each word.
“Edward,” she whispered, rising on her toes to meet his seeking lips with her own.
She had never felt such ecstasy. And they had barely touched.
A few kisses, a brush of his lips on her neck, and she was ready to throw all caution to the wind, risk whatever curse she was under, flout society and the Church and anyone else who stood in their path, and give in to the enticing madness that was near drowning her.
She pulled away, whether to gasp for air or to give him the answer he sought, she wasn’t quite sure. But—
“I do hope Lord Lockhaven is feeling better,” Jane’s exaggeratedly loud voice floated to them from the hallway, along with the sound of her stomping footsteps heading toward the room.
Selena gasped and jumped up, hurrying to the other side of the room as Jane reached the door and slowly entered, ensuring her body covered the opening while she quickly glanced around the room.
Her eyes widened when she spied Selena, and a smile tugged at her lips.
She tucked a nonexistent stray curl behind her ear, and Selena sucked in a breath, quickly patting her hair to make sure everything was in place.
Edward, damn him, just leaned against the headboard, completely relaxed and composed, as if they hadn’t just been compromised. If it had been anyone other than Jane—
Selena met Edward’s gaze, and had to bite her lip to stifle her outraged gasp when he grinned and winked, just as the door opened fully to admit Jane and the doctor.
*
Edward watched Selena while the doctor checked him over, not sure if he should laugh at her poor attempts to appear nonchalant and aloof, or chase everyone from the room so he could aggravate her into kissing him again.
Of course, he would far prefer to kiss her without aggravating her first—as amusing as that was.
But she didn’t seem ready to admit that she wanted him just as badly as he did her.
Their sparring gave her the opening she so obviously needed to let her passions escape.
Passions he wanted to stoke again. And would.
As soon as the doctor finished with his interminably long exam.
The doctor finally stepped back with a satisfied nod. “You seem in relatively good condition, my lord, all considering. A few bruises, naturally. You’ll be sore for a few days. I recommend resting for at least two days. Nothing too strenuous—”
Edward’s gaze shot to Selena’s, the rest of the doctor’s instructions fading into the background as they stared at each other. Judging by the flush in her cheeks, he wasn’t the only one thinking of certain strenuous activities that he had no intention of avoiding.
He managed to smile and nod at the doctor, mumbling some semblance of thanks as the man packed up his bag and left.
A maid with a tray of food arrived shortly after…
with enough for two. He glanced at Mrs. Haddon and had to quickly look away when he caught her mischievous grin lest he devolve into laughter. Still matchmaking it seemed.
Selena, who hadn’t moved from her corner since the doctor had arrived, took a few steps toward the door. “I’ll leave you to your—”
“Wait—”