Chapter Fourteen
Edward stood, too stunned and confused to respond for a moment.
That didn’t make any sense. Granted, he had always been of the opinion that marriage was a death sentence.
But more in the abstract sense. It would kill his freedom.
His passions. His relationship surely with whatever woman managed to wed him.
At least at some point. He had no illusions that he would be easy to live with, let alone love for an entire lifetime, and frankly he pitied the woman who dared to try.
Hence, why he had avoided the institution for so long.
Until she had come along. She was the only person who had ever made the risk seem worth trying.
But something told him that wasn’t what Selena had meant.
He frowned, watching her pace the rug in front of him. “I think I may require a few more details.”
She shook her head with a short, almost hysterical laugh.
“I am quite sure you do. After all, a madwoman just told you she couldn’t marry you because she didn’t want to kill you.
You must think…” She laughed again. “I can’t even imagine what you must think.
But you deserve the truth. I know that. It’s only… it is painful to talk about my past.”
Edward frowned again. “I have no wish to—”
“I’ve been widowed,” she blurted out.
He nodded slowly. “I am already aware of that fact.”
“More than once,” she said, her voice hardly more than a whisper.
His heart sank. He’d heard as much, of course. The gossips did love to bandy about half-truths and salacious tales. Though he’d hoped for her sake it had been nothing more than rumors. No wonder she was so skittish about marriage. His poor, beautiful darling.
“Selena,” he said, pulling her into his arms. She let him, though she placed her hands on his chest to keep some distance between them. “My heart aches for your losses. But that does not explain—”
“My last husband, Charles…he died on our wedding night. Right after…”
Her cheeks flamed red, and Edward steeled himself against showing any reaction. “Ah,” he said. Though his emotions ran through the whole gamut. Horror, amusement, even—may God have mercy on his twisted soul—a touch of envy. Of her husband. If one had to die after all, it wasn’t a bad way to go.
But the woman left behind, however…
“I have been afraid,” she said, tripping over her words. “What if…what if it were to happen again?”
He reached out and tucked a curl behind her ear, caressing her cheek as he did so. “Selena, love, I can promise you—”
“No, you can’t!” She grabbed his shirt in her fists with her sudden vehemence. “You can’t promise me anything. You can’t know the future. I am cursed.”
He frowned down at her. “Selena—”
She shook her head, cutting off his words before he could refute her claim. “Charles was young and healthy, we should have had many years together, yet he still—”
Her voice broke on a sob, and he swallowed past the lump the sound brought to his own throat. He would raze the nation to the ground to keep her from ever again feeling that bone-weary sadness that coated every word she uttered. Even defying the Fates themselves. Yet, she was not wrong.
“I know there are no guarantees in life, love. But I also do not believe in curses. There must have been problems of which you were not aware.” He stroked her cheek and moved his hands down to rub her upper arms, trying to soothe her. “Perhaps ailments of which not even he knew,” Edward said.
“Yes, but—” She took a deep, shaking breath. “He wasn’t the first husband I buried.”
He frowned down at her and then understanding finally struck him, and he took her chin in his fingers, lifting her face to his.
“Is that why you are afraid? Why you think I’ll die? Because it’s happened before?”
“The men I marry die, Edward. It’s happened more than once.”
“That doesn’t mean it will happen again, dearest.”
She let out a sobbing sigh that tore at his heart, and he pulled her back into his arms. She laid her forehead against his chest, her hands still gripping his shirt.
“How can I take that chance? I do not think I could bear to lose you,” she whispered.
Well, if his heart had not belonged to her before, it did now.
“Selena,” he cupped her face so he could press tender kisses to her lips. “I know you have known heartache in your past. And whilst it is true I cannot promise you nothing bad will ever happen to me, I can assure you it is highly unlikely.”
She tilted her head, eyeing him with a healthy dose of skepticism. And a glimmer of hope. “In my logical moments, I know that. But my heart…”
“Is more difficult to convince?” he asked with a knowing smile.
She let out a soft snort. “Yes.”
“Let me prove it to you,” he whispered.
“What?” She blinked at him, startled.
His hand came up to cup her face, his thumb stroking along her jawline until her mouth opened with a whimper. He captured her lips, exploring her mouth until she clung to him. God help him, but this woman was going to bring him to his knees.
“Stay,” he whispered, kissing her again.
He leaned his forehead against hers, his eyes burning into hers, and waited. Giving her the chance to walk away. It would kill something in him if she did. But this needed to be her choice.
Her breathing grew ragged, and a tremor ran through her. But she didn’t leave.
He reached down, letting his hand skim down her waist and hip, watching her, ready to stop the moment she asked him to.
But she didn’t.
He met her gaze and for half a heartbeat she did nothing. Then she reached down, covered his hand with her own, and helped him drag her dress up her thigh.
The first brush of his hand on her bare skin had Selena clinging to him.
He turned them so her back was to the door, and he pressed her back, letting the full hardness of his body settle against her.
She arched into him with a moan. He covered her mouth with his own, swallowing down her cries as he kissed her, his fingers finding her already wet and ready for him. He groaned into her mouth.
She pulled away, turning so he could help her with her buttons. It took far longer than he would have liked, but he eventually loosened her gown enough to slip it from her shoulders. Then her stays.
Before he could do more, she moved away, divesting herself of the rest of her clothing until she climbed on the bed and lay bare for him.
“You steal my breath,” he said. “You are so beautiful.”
Hauntingly so. The image of her in his bed, her dark hair cascading over his pillow, would haunt his memories for the rest of his days. Whether this was the first of many times, or the last. It did not matter. This moment was forever etched in his soul.
She didn’t move while he undressed, letting him look his fill as she watched him, her eyes devouring every inch he uncovered.
His heart thundered in his chest, his body warring against the desire to touch her.
He wanted to memorize every line of her first. Just in case.
He had a feeling if she ran after this, she would keep running.
He would just have to do what he could to convince her to stay.
But until then, he would worship every inch of her. For as long as he could.
She raised a hand, beckoning to him. “Will you not join me, my lord?”
“Always,” he said, smiling at her in that way he knew she loved.
He lay beside her, drawing her into his arms with a groan.
The moment his arms slid around her, she turned to him, sliding one leg over his hip so her soft heat pressed against him.
He ran a hand up her leg, squeezing her thigh to draw her closer.
He had meant to take this slow. To savor every second in case.
But she was just as impatient as he and apparently wasn’t going to allow that to happen.
From the moment he’d met her, this woman had wrecked every plan he’d made. Delightfully. Diabolically.
He’d never meant to marry. Certainly never meant to fall in love.
Yet there he was, near begging her to be his wife.
Because planned or no, he very much feared she owned his heart.
If she left, as she always seemed poised to do, she would take it with her.
And he’d give it to her. Gladly. He wouldn’t need it after she left in any case.
She arched against him again and he chuckled against her skin.
God, but this woman was a gift. His lips touched the sensitive spot near her ear, pressing a tender kiss there before his tongue traced a gentle trail down the slope of her neck.
The heat of her scorched him. Enveloped him, and he reveled in the burn.
She shivered beneath him, tilting her head to give him better access, and he retraced his path.
His fingers trailing along the lines of her body, his lips roaming over every inch of her, until she grew more and more frantic under his touch.
“Edward,” she moaned, her leg tightening around him.
“Easy, love,” he murmured. He didn’t want to rush this. She might not be a virgin, but he knew it had been a while since she had lain with a man. He didn’t want her to feel anything but pleasure at his touch.
He slid a finger inside and her hips bucked against him.
Edward groaned, adding another finger to join the first as his lips moved back up her body, his mouth moving over her breasts, sucking each nipple into his mouth until she threaded her fingers through his hair, pulling his lips back up to fuse with hers.
Selena writhed beneath him. “Edward,” she said, breaking their kiss with a gasp, “please.”
“I know, love,” Edward said, moving to cover her. He withdrew his fingers and Selena whimpered, almost sobbing at the loss.
He nudged her legs farther apart and she spread them eagerly to accommodate him.
The hard, warm length of him pushed at her entrance and she wrapped her legs about his waist, lifting her hips to bring him closer.
He tried to go slow, easing himself in slowly, an inch at a time, but Selena wasn’t having that.
She arched, wrapping both legs around his waist to draw him in deep. He chuckled, the sound full of male satisfaction, as he finally slid his full length inside her. His laugh cut off as they both sucked in a ragged breath.
“Selena,” he groaned. Her body stretched to adjust to him, and he paused, letting her grow accustomed to it before he moved again.
He brushed her hair back from her face, his heart aching at the sight of her passion-darkened eyes gazing back at him. Because for the first time in his life, he felt whole. Complete. Like a piece of himself that he hadn’t even known was missing had locked into place.
And if she left, he would never be whole again.
He leaned down to kiss her and she moved her hips beneath him, showing him with her lips and tongue what she wanted from him. Edward was more than happy to oblige.
He moved slowly, setting a careful rhythm that soon had Selena crying out for more.
His hands gripped her waist, keeping her movements slow and steady until she was half frantic with the need to increase the tempo.
But he kept his strokes long and deep, filling her over and over until stiffened beneath him.
He captured her lips again, muffling her cry as her orgasm crashed over her.
He was two strokes behind her, barely keeping enough wits about him to withdraw from her tight grip before he spilled inside her.
He slumped against her, making sure his arms bore the brunt of his weight while the aftershocks rippled through them.
Finally, he rolled to the side, keeping her cradled against him.
He pressed a kiss to her temple and then buried his face in her neck, trying to ignore the ache taking up residence in his heart.
He knew she might run again. Might refuse him again. But they had this moment. For now, it was enough. Tomorrow they would talk about more.