Chapter 2
“Are you quite sure?” Jonathan frowned, searching his friend’s face. “That sounds like a ridiculous amount to wager on a single horse race!”
“I am very sure!” Lord Kettering exclaimed as Jonathan’s brother, the Earl of Tunbridge, rolled his eyes and shook his head. “Lord Wishart is the most ridiculous fellow.”
Jonathan shook his head. “I do not think I can believe it. When is this race to take place?”
“The day after tomorrow,” Lord Kettering informed him. “Will you want to attend?”
Considering this, Jonathan nodded. “Yes, I think I would, if only to verify the amount Lord Wishart had placed upon this grey of his.”
Lord Kettering chuckled and shrugged. “Very well, I shall take no offence that you do not believe me completely. It is a ridiculous sum.”
“Enough to ruin a gentleman, if the horse does not achieve success,” Lord Tunbridge added.
“Now, enough conversation about horses and foolish wagers. Are we not to dance this evening?” His eyes went to the crowd, alighting on one face and then another.
“There are so many beauties present, I am quite determined to dance nearly every dance!”
Jonathan rolled his eyes. “I shall not join you.”
“No?”
The question made Jonathan frown. He had not told his brother anything about last Season nor the way his heart had been stolen by Lady Susanna.
He had no intention of doing so either. There was no need for anyone to know of his foolishness.
At the same time, he did not think he wanted to pursue any other young lady either, even though duty demanded it of him.
He would have to marry to produce the required heir, although mayhap another year of bachelorhood would not cause any great concern.
Whilst he did not think that he still loved Lady Susanna, he was certainly still injured over all that he had learned since then.
And there was the guilt — a low, persistent ache that had settled into his chest the moment he had walked away from her and had refused to leave since.
He had not given her a reason. He had not spoken to her, had not explained himself, had simply retreated into silence and let that silence speak for him.
What must she think of him? That he was a cad, a liar, a gentleman who toyed with a lady’s heart and then cast it aside?
The thought sickened him, but it was no less than he deserved.
He had made his choice, and he had made it badly.
“You have not answered me, my friend.” Lord Kettering lifted an eyebrow. “You are not going to dance this evening?” His other eyebrow rose to join the first. “Or at all this Season?”
Jonathan scowled. “I am not yet decided. At the present moment, I have no interest in dancing.”
“And why not?” his brother asked, shifting slightly so that he stood next to Lord Kettering rather than beside Jonathan, giving the impression that he was very much in alignment with Lord Kettering – much to Jonathan’s displeasure.
“What could be holding you back from dancing with these fine young ladies this evening? You are a Marquess, after all, which means your good standing and excellent fortune will bring many a young lady to your side, I am sure!”
“And what if I do not want that?” Jonathan asked, making both his friend and his brother stare at him in astonishment. “What if I do not want to be draped with young ladies each evening?”
Lord Kettering blinked rapidly. “Why would you not wish to be?”
There was no response that Jonathan could give that would make sense to his companions.
If he told them that his heart was still troubled from the previous Season, they would ask him what he meant, and he would have no choice but to explain.
If he stated that he did not think this Season was the one where he would seek out a bride, then they would tell him that there was still no reason he could not enjoy the company of young ladies – and when he said he did not wish to, the questions would start again.
With a shrug, he looked away. “I would prefer not to answer such banal questions. If I have no desire to dance with the young ladies of London, then what is that to you?”
Lord Kettering put both hands up, his palms out towards Jonathan. “I did not mean any offence, my friend.”
With a nod and a twist of his heart, Jonathan looked away but did not answer.
He had not meant to upset his friend, but he certainly did not want to answer a good many questions that would, in the end, push him towards revealing the truth about Lady Susanna.
As he looked out vaguely across the crowd, his gaze snagged on one particular young lady.
He went cold all over. With his skin prickling, he turned his head away quickly, not wanting to risk her catching his eye. Thankfully, Lord Tunbridge and Lord Kettering were busy talking about which young ladies they might wish to dance with and were not paying him any attention.
Closing his eyes, Jonathan let out a slow breath and then opened them again, trying to shake off all that he felt.
He had known that he would see Lady Susanna again and had prepared himself for it – or so he had thought.
His stomach was twisting in knots, his heart racing, and his breathing coming a little more quickly than before.
She was wearing a pale green gown this evening, and even from this distance, he could see the gentle curve of her neck, the way her dark hair was pinned up with a simple ribbon.
She looked just as she had in the memories he could not stop revisiting — memories of her smile, her laughter, the way she had looked up at him with such open trust. Trust he had shattered without a word of explanation.
He pressed his hand flat against his waistcoat, as if that might still the furious beating beneath it.
“Excuse me.”
He did not look at Lord Kettering or to his brother but pushed his way through the crowd, going away from them and from Lady Susanna. He did not want to be anywhere near her, did not want to have her see him, for he did not know what would happen if their eyes were to meet.
I do not want to know her. Not again.
It was a strange thought, given just how close they had been the previous Season.
They had been so close to each other, closer than he had ever permitted himself to be with a young lady, and yet now, he wanted to make sure they were as far apart as possible.
It meant that he would have to be as careful as possible when it came to social occasions, for he would have to stay away from her.
It would be nearly impossible for him to avoid her entirely, however.
So what would he do then? What would happen when someone sought to introduce them?
Mayhap I should pretend that I have never been introduced to her, he thought, his heart heavy.
That way, she will know that I have no interest in any sort of connection with her.
I do not want even an acquaintance with her!
His jaw set tight as he ignored the swell in his chest, a swell of feeling that threatened to ignite his heart.
Pushing it down, he waited until it had dissipated completely and then, seeing a table of refreshments set up just to his left, made his way there.
The ratafia did not have any attraction, but there was a glass of Negus which he picked up.
That would keep him sated until he went to Whites.
“Good evening, Lancashire!”
He turned, only for his eyebrows to lift. “Lady Kilthorn! I did not expect to see you.” Greeting her warmly, he took her in. “You have not changed in the least!”
“I am glad to hear you say it,” she laughed, her eyes bright. “It has been some years since we have been in company, has it not?”
A smile touched his lips. “Yes, I think it has been. You have come down from Scotland for the Season, then?”
She nodded. “Yes, I have indeed. I am here to chaperone Lady Ellen, my niece.”
“I do not think I am acquainted with her,” Jonathan said, trying to recall the name. “She is not a relation of mine?”
Lady Kilthorn shook her head no. “I am related to you through your father’s side. There is no connection to Lady Ellen and her family.”
“I see.” Jonathan smiled. “Then I should be glad to become acquainted with her.”
With a grin, Lady Kilthorn’s eyes twinkled. “I am to chaperone her into finding a suitable match, my dear Lancashire. Might I ask if you are seeking a bride?”
Jonathan shook his head fervently. “No, I am not. Not as yet, at least.”
“Then I shall not have any expectations,” she responded, with a chuckle. “Although, if you find her to be of any interest, I can assure you that she is a very lovely young lady – as is her dear friend, of course.”
His eyebrows lifted gently in question.
“A Lady Susanna. She is the daughter of the Duke of Somerset and would be a very fine wife, I am sure.” A small sigh escaped her, and she looked away. “I have the impression – though I have only just been introduced to her – that the lady’s mother is not as proactive as one might expect.”
“There is a sister,” Jonathan found himself saying, before he could stop himself.
“It may be that she is taking the priority.” It had been that way during their first Season, for he had not only observed it but had also witnessed the Duchess of Somerset push her younger daughter into society rather than offering the same opportunities or even the same notice to Lady Susanna.
Lady Kilthorn tilted her head. “Is that so? Are you acquainted with the family, then?”
“No, I am not.” Jonathan sniffed and looked away. “I only know of them. I was present last Season and the Duke’s daughters were making their debut.”
“And everyone would have been talking about them,” Lady Kilthorn said, filling in the gaps without Jonathan having to explain. “I see. Well, if you wish, I would be glad to introduce you to her also.”
“Not at the present moment,” Jonathan responded, hastily, seeing Lady Kilthorn’s eyebrows lift. “I am just about to take my leave of the ball, you see.”
This made her surprise grow all the more. “Is there something wrong that you would leave so soon after attending?”
Why must there be so many questions from so many?
“I am a little fatigued,” was all he said. “But I thank you for your kind offer. I am sure I will become acquainted with your niece before long.”
“Oh, they are coming to join me again now!” Lady Kilthorn gestured to her left, but Jonathan bowed and, spinning on his heel, hurried away.
It might perhaps have been seen as a little rude, but he could not abide the idea of being anywhere near Lady Susanna.
At this juncture, he wanted to avoid her for as long as he could – until his heart was in a suitable state.
If he met her now, he feared it would explode with all the affection he had tried to kill and bury for the last few months – and he simply could not have that.
This Season, he was not going to let himself even think about Lady Susanna. She had no hold over him any longer.
Or, at the very least, that was what he told himself.