Group Chat

James

This gold-embossed wedding invitation says next weekend, Raphael. Where’s the consideration?

Alex

I have time!

West

Nora and I will be there, naturally. Thanks for sending an invite to Amber, too. My sister would be annoyed if you didn’t.

Rafe

Your family is my family, etc. and so forth.

James

Of course I will be there too. I’m merely pointing out the offensive lack of time to plan a proper bachelor party.

Alex

Oh, this is going to be good. Do you want to show up to your wedding presentable? Because if so, I’m sorry to say it’s not going to happen.

Rafe

We’re not going hard.

Alex

So no repeat of Ibiza seven years ago.

Rafe

No repeat of any Lost Weekend, no. This wedding is for publicity, and there will be journalists there. Everything has to be above board.

Alex

I hate journos.

James

Are speeches allowed?

West

Encouraged, surely.

Rafe

No. The guest list includes industry people. If you have to toast me, we’ll do it at the bachelor party, when there’s no one but us.

Alex

You mean roast, don’t you? If we have to roast you. And the answer is yes.

West

We’ll do it in Como. Cigars, poker and liquor. Whatever questionable entertainment I can find in Northern Italy on short notice.

Alex

We should race something. Boats? Horses? Motorbikes?

James

You’re so desperate to lose.

Alex

Very funny. Who’s the best man, Rafe?

Rafe

The wedding is for publicity.

Alex

It still matters. We’re already competing for who’ll be West’s.

Rafe

I’ll have three groomsmen, no best man.

James

That’s a cop-out.

West

How’s the new wife? Has she stabbed you in your sleep yet? Blink twice if you need help.

Rafe

I’m keeping my bedroom door locked. But she’s doing her damned best to be as annoying as she possibly can.

Alex

I hate to say it, but I like that for you.

James

Looking forward to meeting her.

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