21. Trace
TRACE
S he’s surprised the fuck out of me. She’s been out here with me all day and not complained at all—not when the sun beat down on her uncovered head, or when she had to share my lunch, which wasn’t much even for me to begin with. She’s been a champ, and I appreciate her more than I can express.
We’ve finally come to meet in the middle. The sun is beginning to set, and I’m stiffer than I care to admit. While I’m used to working long hours, this was even longer than I anticipated.
“You ready to head back? I’m starving,” I say.
“I am,” she says, stretching her arms to the sky. When she does, her shirt raises, showing a sliver of smooth skin in between the bottom of her T-shirt and the top of her jeans.
“How long do you think it’ll take us to get back?”
“If we can move faster than we came out, a little over an hour. You good?”
“Yeah,” she replies, reaching out to grab my hand. “Let’s go.”
I let her hold my hand. It’s always unnerving when someone wants to touch me. I didn’t get much of that when I was growing up. I’m willing to open myself up to her, but it’s going to take time for me to get used to it. Allowing myself to let her wrap her fingers around mine is a big deal. However, I don’t make a big deal out of it, and neither does she. It helps me to accept it more.
“Alright, let’s head out.”
The ride back is quieter than the ride out was, but it doesn’t surprise me since we’re both dead on our feet.
“Can I come with you again?” she asks when we get closer to the ranch.
“What do you mean?” I’m not computing what she’s asking.
“I’d like to help with what goes on around here. The more I know, the better I can be at advocating for you. If we’re going to do this, we have to do it together. I don’t have to go every day—I realize there are times when me being with you might be dangerous. However, if it’s something I can do, that I can figure out easily, I’d like to be included.”
I’ve never heard a wife tell a husband they wanted to help out on the ranch, at least not in the circles we run in. It reinforces everything she’s said to me, and now she’s starting to prove it. No one has ever proven anything to me in the past. It’s almost overwhelming to realize she’s doing what she said she’s going to do. It’s taken me off guard, but I know I have to meet her halfway.
“Okay. If you can, I’d love to have you come with me when I work. Like you said, it can’t be every day—sometimes you’d be more in the way than actually helping. Anytime you would be helping, you can head out with us.”
“Does that mean I’ll have to get up as early as you do?” She tips her head back, wrinkling her nose.
“I mean, we do,” I tease her. “But honestly, if you don’t want to, I can let you know where we’ll be and you can either ride out on horseback or ATV. I don’t expect you to get up at five a.m.”
“I’d do whatever you asked me to if it would help prove to you how serious I am about this.”
I swallow roughly. I believe her. Truly fucking believe her. In a way I haven’t believed anyone ever in my life.
“I know, and I think for sure you’re going to be the one to change the way I’ve lived my life up to this point.”
She smiles at me. A beautiful glow transforms her face, as if what I’ve just said has made her day.
“Thank you. All I’ve ever wanted is to be a partner. I promise not to let you down.”
In the back of my mind, I know it’s not realistic to assume she’s never going to let me down. People inherently make mistakes and I can’t assume she’ll be perfect. If I can’t hold myself to the same standard, there’s no reason I should hold her to it.
“Just do the best you can, Katie. I’m not perfect, I can’t hold you to a higher standard than I hold myself to. I’m willing to do all the hard work with you.”
“I’m willing to do all the hard work with you, too,” she whispers.
Her head is still tilted back. I take the invitation she’s unknowingly giving to me. Dipping down, I steal the kiss I’ve been thinking about since she approached me with the hole in the fence line. There was something about the pride she had—that she’d spotted something that she thought would be helpful. She opens her lips without me even asking. My tongue maps the contour of her mouth. She melts against me, my arms immediately go around her, pulling her to me, and wishing we weren’t on the back of a damn horse.
When we finally break apart, both of us are breathing heavily, and I’m uncomfortable in the saddle.
“If we could make this work on attraction alone, we wouldn’t have to worry about anything,” I say, standing up in the stirrups to give my cock some breathing room.
“It’s something to build on,” she reminds me. “I’d be more worried if we didn’t have anything in common. At least we’re attracted to one another.”
While what she’s said is true, I’m more than attracted to her—I’m fearful that she’s the one who can make me change my mind about everything I always thought was a universal truth for me.
“That we are.”
I’m quiet again, thoughts rolling through my head about what we may have to face, and how we’re going to have to probably rip each other apart to make this work. As we get closer to the house, trepidation like I’ve never felt builds deep in my stomach. Something has changed between us today, and I know with everything I have, my mom and dad will be able to see it. It makes what we’re planning on doing much more dangerous than we previously thought. But I’m willing to do this. Whatever it takes, I’m willing to do it.
“You wanna head to the stock tank?” I ask her. “I’ll go grab us some food from the kitchen and meet you out there.”
“What? No dinner with the family tonight?”
“It’s my least favorite time of the day, second only to breakfast when I have to see all of them. If it were up to me, I’d eat by myself all the time, and then go out and work on my own. Instead, they insist on us acting like a family whenever it’s convenient for them. You just go upstairs and change, and I’ll take care of the rest.”
My final words are spoken as I ride up to the barn.
“We taking the horse again?”
“Nope, we’ll take an ATV, so don’t worry about bringing whatever you need to.”
She nods, reaching down with her feet as I help her off the back of the horse. Instead of looking exhausted, like I imagined she would, she seems to be energized and ready to spend some time alone with me.
“See ya in a few,” she waves, before bouncing off.
The exhaustion I felt out in the field has been replaced with excitement to be with her, in a different setting. When we don’t have to be on for other people, when we can just be Katie and Trace. After I get the horse taken care of, I head into the house, bypassing the living area and heading to the kitchen.
Luckily for me, no one appears to be inside. Opening the fridge, there are some sandwiches already made, along with cut up vegetables and fruit. This is perfect. Grabbing a bag, I start filling it, and take some bottles of water, along with a few beers, and put them in there as well.
Just as I’m about to get done, my dad enters.
“Where do you think you’re going? We eat as a family around here.”
“I am eating with my family,” I smirk, the retort giving me more pleasure than I thought it could. “My wife and I are going to go share a meal together, away from all of you.”
“That’s not going to work, and you know it. At some point she’ll realize you’re not Ward.”
That cuts deep.
“I never was Ward, and I never wanted to be him. I’m not good enough to be him. Joke’s on you though, she met me before she knew who I was, and I fucked her in my truck. She wanted me, not him. I know that’s going to tear you up, but the truth is the truth. Regardless of how you and Mom planned shit, it may not have happened the way you imagined it would’ve. When are you going to learn this is my life and not yours?”
“I’m always going to control your life, Trace. No matter how you think you can outsmart me, you’re never going to win.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” I give him a condescending smile. “The way we’re going to win is by being happy. You and I both know that chaps your ass worse than anything else in this world. If people are happy, you can’t fuckin’ stand it.”
His eyes glow with annoyance.
“You think you know me, boy? You’ve got it all figured out, haven’t you?”
“I don’t presume to know you, I don’t think I know anything. What I believe is we’ll get the lives we deserve. While I don’t deserve anything special, that woman up there does,” I point to where Katie’s getting changed. "She's a pawn in this, and I refuse to let her be fucked over the way I have been."
"So you do care?"
"Don't mistake my being a decent human with caring. She's done everything that's been asked of her, most of it with a fucking smile on her face. She rode fences with me today. Has mom ever done that with you? Has she ever wanted to be with you when she didn't have to be? I'm beginning to learn there are different levels to sacrifice, and all those things you told me you sacrificed for us to have a better life? That shit's fake. You never did anything you didn't want to do," I grab the refrigerated bag. "Now if you'll excuse me, my wife and I are going to have a nice night, away from all of you. Don't try to find us. You'll regret it if you do."
Before he can say anything else, I'm out of the kitchen and taking the stairs two at a time. Never before have I wanted to take a dunk in the stock tank worse than I do tonight.