44. Katie
KATIE
A ll my senses are surrounded by Trace. In my nose is the scent of him, in my mouth is the taste of him, and the way his body surrounds me is everything I've wanted, everything I've needed. There's a part of me that wonders if I'll always need it, if he's now a part of my DNA I won't be able to let go of. That's the type of love I've only ever read about in books, the type of life-changing situations I hear others talk about when they say they've met their partner.
This whole scenario is an aphrodisiac. I never thought I had the type of personality where I wanted someone to use me, but here I am, so turned on I can barely move. His fingers tighten against my scalp, dragging me further down onto him.
"Yes, take it, Katie. Fucking take it. You've already got me almost ready to blow my load. The way your tongue is moving against me, the heat of your mouth against my hardness. The fact I can't see your face, but you're letting me fuck it. Holy shit, Katie. This is like every wet dream I've ever had come true. Do you want me?" He questions, shoving his hips up into my mouth.
I moan against him, trying to let him know I want all of this. Doing my best to nod, I hope he understands what I'm trying to say, even if I can't speak around him. Spreading my legs, I hope he takes the invitation. He does, reaching over, and cupping his hand around my ass, before moving in from behind. His fingers rub against the seam of my jeans, and even that's enough to give me a little bit of what I need.
Using one of my hands, I reach down and unbutton, pushing them slowly along my thighs until there's space between my jeans and panties. He helps me as much as he can, and when I finally have enough room, he snakes that same hand in between my thighs, moves the cotton of my underwear out of the way and goes to work against my clit. "Yes," I grunt, spreading my thighs as far apart as I can. "Use your fingers inside me, please," I beg.
He rubs his fingers against the slickness, and then moves down to push them into my tightness. Coupling this with my lips being spread around the head of his cock is making my head spin. There's multiple things here at play I'd never thought about. To be completely taken and used by a man who has my heart, it's an excitement I hadn't counted on and one I always thought was in books and movies. I didn't think I could ever be so completely consumed by another person the way I am by him. Trace shoves my head down a little further, causing me to gag against him.
He allows me to lift up all the way, and when he does, he yanks me over on top of him, helping me shed my jeans as quickly as I can. Now that I'm straddling him, he leans in, capturing my clothed nipple in between his teeth, tugging at the flesh. I make a noise in the back of my throat, and spread over him, allowing his hard length to slip inside me. It fills a part of me that's been empty for too long.
"I missed you," I whisper, tears coming to my eyes. It's an emotional response I wasn't prepared for, and one I didn't expect. "I missed you more than I ever thought possible. How have you gotten so deep into my blood after only a short amount of time?"
"The same way you've gotten into mine," he whispers back, as he lets me slide down.
His arms wrap around my waist, holding me tightly when I would've moved. Instead, he moves, pressing up into my core, feeling as if he's touching the depths of my damn soul. "What are we doing?" I question, letting my head tilt back on my neck. "Are we sure this is a good idea."
"I'm never sure any idea is a good one," he chuckles. "What I do know is you're the only one I want to have bad ideas with."
His hands move up so that he buries them in the nape of my hair, holding me, when I would prefer to drop into a haze of passion and love I've always assumed was unrequited.
We're grunting and groaning against one another, taking each other to the edge, but not yet over. "Make me come," I beg. "Take me over the edge like only you can."
It's as if those words unlock some piece of him, and he starts thrusting with a vengeance. He's got a one track mind, and that mind wants nothing more than to make both of us give into the other. Where I would've held tight to my heart previously, I'm willing to give it away now.
Together we work against one another, grunting and groaning as we push toward the edge of our climax. Our kisses are sloppy, and full of adoration. I'm pumping up and down on top of him, doing my best to get mine when he presses deeply into me and holds. "I'm almost there, Katie. Are you?"
"Yes," I hiss when his thumb comes down in between the two of us. It presses against my clit.
My eyes widen as he makes small pumps, not fully unseating himself but moving against me. "Feel good?" His eyes are closed, his head lolling against the head rest. His face is flushed, and his bottom lip is pulled tightly between his teeth.
"Doesn't only feel good, but you look good as you're about to let go," I whisper heatedly.
I never want to forget this moment, how he looks, how I feel. The emotion of us giving ourselves over to what we've been fighting for so long. As I move against him, and he moves against me, tears spring to my eyes. Every second I had of not knowing how we were going to make this work, every unknown we'd had the minute I got married. It's all flowing out of my body in the climax that I'm hurtling toward.
"That's it," he breathes in and out, hooking his fingers around my hips. "Don't stop and neither will I."
We meet in an explosion of fireworks and hearts pounding. I scream as he grunts, and my body lets go as I feel him spurting inside me. The warmth bathes my insides, and I collapse against him, trying to force my heartbeat to regulate. Stars are shining behind my lids, and I can't seem to remember anything, even my own damn name. His arms wrap around my body and he holds me as I jerk and shake.
"Fuck, Katie. What the hell was that? I've never, and I mean never felt anything like that before. I love you," he whispers as he nudges his nose against my face. "Saying it scares me, but I can't help what I feel."
I never believed he would say those words to me, that he'd never allow himself to feel that deeply since we aren't what anyone would consider a love match. Hearing it is akin to a change in the fucking universe. There might as well be an earthquake that shakes me alive. Do I want to give him a part of myself? Do I want to give him the power to hurt me unlike anyone else ever has? It's hard to decide what's worth it.
However, in this moment, I know it's worth it. If I don't give into this, if I don't let myself fall, I'm never going to allow it to happen, and then I'll always wonder what could've happened had I not been afraid of putting my heart on the line. What I don't want are regrets.
"I love you too," I whisper back, hugging him tightly.
And I know in this, we're together, even if everything else feels like it's falling completely apart.