52. Trace
TRACE
"W hy do you look so damn happy this morning?" Kyle asks as he greets me with a cup of coffee at the barn.
"Because I had one of the best mornings ever with my wife," I give him a shit-eating grin.
"Why do you have to brag about what you have that the rest of us don't. You're a motherfucker, you know that right?"
"Damn right I am," I can't wipe the smirk off my face.
"Jesus Christ," Kyle chuckles. "I walked right into that one, didn't I?"
"Sure did. C'mon let's move out there and check on these cows."
It's already starting to feel cool outside. In looking at the almanac, I know that the cold weather is coming early this year. This will be one of the earliest snow storms we've ever had, and I have a feeling it's going to make the calves come early as well. Drops in barometric pressure seem to constantly affect what we do here, especially this close to the Canadian border. Every year we've had the storms early, I've heard of cattle farmers having calves that didn't meet weight.
Makes me fucking nervous after what all we've been through to make this happen. We've been feeding the cows a high caloric density diet because of what the almanac and all the nature clues said, but we'll also be fighting against what may be early births.
"Do you feel it?" Kyle asks as we ride out.
"The change in the weather? It's early this year, but I was thinking about it. I read the almanac, and used that when I was planning. I wasn't sure if it would help, didn't know if it would be us doing something we really didn't need to do, or a lot of work for nothing. Looks like I made a good decision, which is imperative to the future of me running this ranch.
I'm not under any kind of illusions that it'll show my Dad anything, but it will show me. It'll give me the confidence I need in order to move forward, no matter what my parents think. I'm proving to myself I'll know how to run this ranch, I'll know how to turn a profit, and I don't need anyone to help me. This is going to be mine, and I'm going to be able to take care of my family without worrying.
"Yeah," he nods. "You can tell something is about to change, and we're in for an early season. Are we prepared for it? I know I'm not. I don't wanna get up early and have to deal with fucking cold weather, snow, ice, and whatever else might be there for us. I'd rather stay in a nice warm bed."
I laugh. "Wouldn't we all. Unfortunately this is what our parents signed us up for when they gave us their ranches. We are who we are. Even if we don't wanna be."
"How are things going with you and Katie?" He asks.
He's been good about letting us figure out what we need from one another. It would've been easy for him to stick his nose in between the two of us, and tell us what we're missing. Especially considering he was with Katie during the time she wasn't with me. I'm sure she confided in him, in ways she never thought about confiding in me. Sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone who doesn't know your heart the way your loved one does. I've been there, and I've been working hard at not begrudging her whatever she needs.
"Good," I debate on telling him. While he's my best friend, there's also the chance someone could overhear us. Fact of the matter is, though. I need to tell someone. I have to share this with someone I know will understand. So far my parents are the only one besides us who officially know. He and I haven't discussed it, in fact he's kept himself as far away from our relationship as he can. "I'm excited about being a Dad."
He grins, good-naturedly punching me on the shoulder. "I knew you'd talk about it when you were ready, but it was getting hard not to ask."
"I know, and I should've talked to you about it before, but you know how things go around here. As soon as you're excited about something, something else comes along and ruins it all."
"Nah, it's not gonna ruin this. I've seen the way you look at Katie, see the way she looks at you. This may have been an arranged marriage, you might have been suggested to one another, but I think there are bigger plans for both of you. I mean you met even before you could be introduced. I was there to witness that. Is the rest of your life going to be smooth sailing? Fuck no, because it's not like that for anyone. But y'all are gonna make it. No matter what's thrown your way."
I want to believe him more than anything. If we can just get to where we deliver these calves okay, and then Katie delivers our baby, I think I'll be able to breathe easier. "I know, I'm trying to be the type of person who believes in miracles."
"You have me and your wife for that."
Running a hand over my chin, I tilt my head back and thank God that this man is my friend. I need him now more than I ever have.
* * *
Later that night, I'm sneaking into the kitchen, because I missed dinner and I"m fucking starving. Caring so much about a group of baby cows has never been something I really gave any credence too, but here we are. They mean everything to what the future of our lives are going to be. I go to the fridge and open it up. Someone has left me a covered plate, and I'm so excited to dig into this, my stomach is growling and sounds like a monster. This is what happens when you work so hard during the day you don't have enough time to even eat lunch.
I contemplate heating it up, but at this point in my day, I don't have the patience for it. Instead, I grab a fork, and eat it. Cold and all.
As I'm swallowing the bite of food, I grab a glass and stick it under the ice and water dispensers. I down that glass and then fix another. Walking over to the island, I have a seat and focus on finishing the meal. More than anything, I want to go upstairs and have a good time with my wife.
Steps echo not far behind my back. There's only one person who can walk harder than I can, and that's my Dad. Inwardly I groan. I do not want to deal with him, hardly ever, but especially tonight.
"I think we need to talk," he starts out.
Clearing my throat after swallowing, I sigh heavily. "I don't think we have anything to say to one another."
He has a seat next to me, and puts his hand on my forearm. "No we do. There are a few things I don't think you've thought about right now."
"Oh yeah?" I chuckle. "What the fuck are you talking about?"
"Your wife left you a few weeks ago, went to live with your best friend, and now she's pregnant? Do you think there's a chance this isn't your baby? That this isn't the heir to our ranch? Who's to say she isn't playing a big game with us, Trace?"
I'm furious. Beyond furious. I had a slight idea he might try this, as soon as we found out she was pregnant. Taking another drink from my glass, I try to regulate my breathing and heart rate. More than anything, I have to appear as unaffected as I can. "There is no us, Tanner," I call him by his first name.
I've never done that before.
It causes my stomach to bounce with apprehension, and a burning in my throat. It aches to tell him exactly what I think of him.
"You're to treat me with respect, Trace. You've never called me by my first name before, I've never allowed it, and I never will."
Eating the last of my food, I turn to glare at him. "I'll give you the respect you deserve, when you earn it. I've worked hard to do all the things I never expected to do. I didn't want this fuckin' place, never asked for it. But you put me in this position, and you put Katie here too. Neither one of us wanted it, but here we are. So guess what? We're going to make it the best we can, and oust you from the head of this family. It's gonna be ours before too long, Tanner, so you better hold on while you can."
His face is flushed with anger. "You may think I'm an old man who has no say so in what's going on. If you bring it to me, though, I'll bring it to you, and you won't like how it ends."
"Don't like it now," I get up and wipe my mouth before throwing my napkin on the plate. "But I'm gonna do whatever it takes to protect my family. You fuck with that? I'll fuck with you."
I don't say anything else, instead heading up to the stairs and to the bedroom I share with Katie. While I'm with her, at least I can shut the rest of the world out.