CHAPTER FIFTY-THREE
NORA
Month Seven
Couples therapy is worse than individual therapy because Rhett can hear my answers.
Dr. Amara Patel sits between us in an office with two identical chairs and asks why we are there.
"To determine whether dating is healthy," I say.
"To learn how not to recreate the old marriage," Rhett says.
Amara looks at us. "Those are related but not identical goals."
For fifty minutes, we discuss conflict.
I avoid it until resentment becomes certainty. Rhett tries to solve it before he fully hears it. I interpret schedules as rankings. He interprets space as departure. We both become useful instead of vulnerable.
"What happens when Nora says no?" Amara asks Rhett.
"I feel rejected. Then I try to make the no unnecessary by changing circumstances."
"And now?"
"I say what I feel and leave the no intact."
She turns to me. "What happens when Rhett needs something?"
"I provide it before deciding whether I want to. Then I blame him for accepting."
"And now?"
"I ask whether it is a request or a requirement. I answer honestly."
Amara gives us homework: each make one request the other may freely refuse.
Outside, Rhett asks, "Will you come to dinner at the penthouse Friday?"
My body reacts before my mind. The foyer in rain. The hidden marriage. The night after the storm.
"No," I say.
Pain crosses his face.
"Okay."
He does not ask why.
"You can ask," I say.
"The exercise says the refusal remains intact. I can be curious later if you offer."
I exhale. "I am not ready to eat there as if coming home."
"Thank you for telling me."
"My request: come to the studio Saturday and let me photograph you for the book's acknowledgments section."
He grimaces. "I hate portraits."
"You sell underwear on billboards."
"That is acting."
"You may say no."
He thinks.
"Yes. But no stylists."
"Agreed."
We complete the homework before reaching the car.
Neither of us dies from a no.