Chapter 12
CHRIS
My eyes darted back and forth, skimming the pages of the contract in front of me.
Every few moments, my mind wandered back to Beth, but I pushed the thoughts down.
I had a job to do. The company didn’t pause because my personal life had hit a speed bump.
Beth leaving me had thrown me off balance, but this meeting couldn’t afford any distractions.
The board members sat around the table, some flipping through notes, others staring at me as if expecting some grand revelation about the direction of the company.
They didn’t need to know what was going on at home.
None of them did. My life outside of these walls was mine to handle, and business came first. Always.
Jessica sat across from me, her expression as cool and unreadable as ever.
I knew I could trust her to steer this in the right direction while I kept up appearances.
She had a way of reading the room and knowing exactly when to take over without making it seem obvious.
If I had a momentary lapse in focus, she would fill the gaps.
She’d been doing that for me more often than not lately.
I’d tried calling Beth again, still no answer, still no sign of when she planned to stop with this tantrum. At least I knew she was safe.
As the conversation flowed from profit margins to future acquisitions, I forced my attention to narrow on the words being spoken.
The last thing I needed was for anyone on the board to think I wasn’t fully committed.
They couldn’t see the crack that had formed in my marriage. That was my problem. Not theirs.
When the meeting wrapped up, the members left the room one-by-one, shaking my hand with polite nods, their brief congratulations sounding hollow.
I didn’t care about any of it right now, just the relief of knowing I had gotten through the meeting without slipping up.
Jessica stood beside me, gathering her things with a practiced efficiency.
I knew she’d want to talk. She always did after these meetings, dissecting every point, every word, every expression.
But before she could say anything, my assistant opened the door again and leaned in, her expression uncertain.
“Mr. Lewis, you have an unexpected delivery. From your private courier. It’s marked urgent.
” She handed me the manila envelope, her eyes briefly flicking to Jessica before she stepped back.
I frowned, tearing open the flap. Inside was a short note from the courier, explaining that Beth had rejected the delivery of the funds.
He’d tried to explain the situation, to no avail.
My brow furrowed as I read over the details, frustration bubbling under the surface.
She hadn’t even looked at it. Just refused it outright.
I couldn’t wrap my mind around her stubbornness.
Jessica peered over my shoulder at the note. “I see she’s sticking to her guns,” she said, though there was an undercurrent of satisfaction in her tone. “That’s a bold move, turning down a safety net like that.”
I shoved the note back into the envelope, crumpling it as I did. “She thinks this is about power. That if I want to control her, I should just talk to her. Like talking would fix anything when she’s not even willing to listen.”
“Sounds like she wants to make a point.” Jessica straightened, watching me as if waiting to see my next move. “You’ve already given her more than enough time and space, Chris. If she’s choosing not to accept help, that’s on her.”
I wanted to believe that. I needed to believe it because the alternative made me feel like I’d somehow failed her, like there was still more I could’ve done to keep things from getting to this point.
But the reality was, I’d done everything I could, and it hadn’t been enough.
Beth wasn’t just asking for attention or space, she was rejecting everything we’d built together.
It wasn’t just a marriage that was in trouble.
It felt like she wanted to erase me completely.
My grip tightened on the envelope, crumpling it further.
I knew Jessica was right, but it still felt like a slap in the face, especially after how careful I’d been not to push her, how generous the offer of support was.
But Beth didn’t see it that way. All she saw was the power dynamic she thought I was clinging to.
I tossed the envelope aside, rubbing the tension from my temples. “She’ll come around when she realizes this life out there isn’t the fantasy she’s built it up to be,” I muttered, half to myself. It sounded bitter, even to me.
Jessica gave me a sympathetic smile, though her eyes didn’t quite hide her amusement. “Of course she will. Just let her sit with her decision for a while. She’ll see it for what it is eventually. You’ve been more than fair.”
Her voice was smooth and calming, but her words didn’t ease the frustration knotting inside me.
I knew she was trying to help, to bring me back into focus.
And maybe I needed that today. My mind was scattered, torn between wanting to fix this and wanting to be angry about it all.
Jessica’s steady presence helped ground me, at least for now, as we left the meeting room together.
The quiet hum of the office around us seemed distant, my thoughts still firmly rooted in Beth’s rejection.
I spent the rest of the day going through emails, signing off on reports, trying to lose myself in the rhythm of work.
It was almost effective. Every now and then, I’d catch myself staring out the window of my office, my mind drifting back to that last night before I left.
Beth standing in the kitchen, the way she’d looked at me like I was a stranger.
What had I done to drive her away? I loved her.
I took my vows seriously. Did she not? Was she willing to throw everything away over...
I didn’t even understand what the issue was.
She knew what she was getting into when we married.
I felt at war with myself. Sometimes I was angry and other times I was sad.
It made my head spin and I didn’t like it.
I just wanted a day to go back to normal.
Not that I knew what normal was. Not anymore.
I thought we had something normal, but clearly I was wrong.
All I knew was that normal included Beth. And being without her was not normal.
But every time I tried to dial her number, to hear her voice, to beg her to come back, the phone just kept ringing until it went to voicemail.
I had left more voicemails than I cared to admit on her phone.
I had no way of knowing if she would listen to them or just ignore them. My jaw clenched at the thought.
By the evening, the frustration had only deepened.
I didn’t go home. The thought of stepping into our empty penthouse was too much right now.
Instead, I went out, walking aimlessly around the city, my mind heavy with unspoken arguments.
That’s when my phone rang. I didn’t want to pick it up, but it was Jessica.
“Chris? Where are you?”
“I’m out,” I replied. The truth sounded thin even to me. I had no real reason for walking around the city at night, and I didn’t feel like explaining. I’d known she would figure out where I was and call, and here she was. “Needed some air.”
Jessica was quiet for a moment, then I heard her exhale. “Do you want company?”
I didn’t want to admit I needed someone, that being alone with my thoughts felt suffocating right now.
But the words didn’t come. I just grunted in response, which she took as confirmation.
It didn’t take long for her to find me at the bench where we’d shared coffee on more relaxed afternoons, my elbows resting on my knees, my eyes glued to the sidewalk in front of me.
Jessica sat down, not too close, not too far away.
She didn’t say anything at first, just waited.
It was that quiet patience of hers that usually drew me in, that let me say what I was thinking without pressure.
Tonight, it annoyed me. I didn’t want to share this mess with anyone, but at the same time, I had nowhere else to take it.
It was all too raw for anyone to know, yet there I was, spilling pieces of it to her.
“She’s not answering my calls, Jessica. I just... I don’t know what else to do.”
“I know,” she said, her voice soft but not pitying. She understood how frustrating it was, I could hear it in her tone. “You’ve given her every chance. Sometimes people don’t realize what they’re walking away from until it’s too late.”
That stung more than I expected. “So, I’m just supposed to wait for her to figure that out? Wait for her to hit rock bottom or something?” I let out a bitter laugh. “She’s out there playing the victim, pretending like she didn’t have every luxury handed to her.”
Jessica shifted beside me, turning her body to face me a little more fully. “She’ll figure it out. And when she does, you’ll have the choice to either let her come back on your terms or let her go entirely. Right now, you can’t force her hand.”
It made sense, logically, but emotionally, I was a wreck.
I wanted to go find her and shake some sense into her.
I wanted to tell her how stupid this was, how we could fix it if she’d just let me.
But every instinct told me that wouldn’t work, that it would only push her further away.
It was the one thing I was trying to avoid, even if my frustration threatened to get the best of me.
“Maybe it’s better this way,” I muttered, but even as the words left my mouth, they felt hollow. There was no part of me that believed it.
Jessica didn’t press me any further. We sat there in silence for a long time, watching people walk past, their laughter and chatter clashing with the turmoil churning inside me.
When it got too much, I stood up, Jessica following my lead without question.
She didn’t ask me what I wanted to do. She just stayed close enough to be present without invading my space.
We ended up walking, no real destination in mind, our steps falling into sync with each other.
I didn’t know where this night was headed, but the tension between us felt lighter.
She wasn’t pushing, just there, as steady as ever.
For once, I didn’t mind that. The chaos in my head quieted down just enough to let me breathe, to keep walking, to let this moment pass without spiraling into another round of anger.
The night wore on, the streets of Seattle getting quieter as the city shifted toward sleep.
Jessica stayed beside me until I finally stopped outside the glass doors of my building, my eyes tracing the lights that flickered from the windows above.
It felt colder than I remembered. But she didn’t rush me, didn’t suggest I go inside, or leave me to my thoughts.
Instead, she stood there, her presence calming, a steady force that helped keep me grounded when everything else felt like it was unraveling.
“Thanks for this,” I said, my words barely audible as I finally turned to her. I hadn’t realized how much I’d needed her company until now.
Jessica’s smile was small but genuine. “Always.” She paused for a moment, for once looking unsure of what to say. “Do you want me to come up with you? I don’t want you pacing around that big penthouse alone tonight.”
I almost said yes. Almost. But there was a line I couldn’t bring myself to cross.
Not yet. Not when everything was still so messy, when I was still trying to hold onto what was left of my marriage.
It felt too much like giving in, like taking an easy way out I didn’t want to think about.
And Beth was the one woman I would never cheat on.
“Thanks, Jessica, but not tonight.” My voice sounded more certain than I felt, but she didn’t push. Instead, she nodded, the disappointment barely noticeable.
“All right. I’m a call away, Chris.” She stepped back slightly, giving me space as she always did. “If you change your mind, or if you just need to talk.”
I appreciated that about her. She knew when to push and when to back off. And tonight, her restraint meant more than she probably realized. “I’ll keep that in mind.”
As she turned to walk away, I watched her retreating figure, knowing I had made the right decision but still feeling a tug of something I couldn’t quite put into words.
My emotions were too tangled to sort through, and I wasn’t in the mood to try.
All I knew was that Beth and I were at a stalemate, and I wasn’t sure how to move forward without her.