Chapter 31 #2
She soon felt the same exquisite restlessness she’d felt when they had embraced that night in the library. It coiled tight within her, making her pull at him with unladylike insistence. This time, rather than calm her wildness, Miles encouraged it with gruff words and coaxing touches.
Nell had imagined, when the moment finally arrived, she would overthink it.
That instinct would be overcome by maidenish insecurity.
Academy girls were taught to prize self-control over everything else.
To lose one’s composure was to lose one’s dignity.
It was a weakness. One to be avoided at all costs.
But when Miles came to her, there was no indignity in her response to him. No insecurity or weakness. They were equals. Partners. Even the fleeting glimmer of pain Nell experienced at the ultimate moment was nothing compared to the infinite closeness.
Miles gazed down at her then, his face taut and his eyes brilliant with heat. “Are you all right?” he asked hoarsely.
She touched the hard line of his jaw. “Are you?”
His breath was ragged. “No,” he said. “But I soon will be, so long as you keep holding me.”
After that, there were no more words. There was only heated gasps and urgency.
And pleasure. So much pleasure.
Nell didn’t know how to catalog it. She had never examined her individual wants or needs.
Never succumbed to selfish desire. For as long as she could remember, she had been a part of the whole.
The needs of the Academy had always come first. Her mentors.
Her sisters. Her students. But not now. In this, she came to him alone. Fully alone.
And he came to her—only her.
Nell kissed him and held him, and she thought mine, mine, mine.
She hadn’t realized she’d given voice to the sentiment until Miles’s deep voice breathed a husky promise in her ear.
“Yours,” he said. “Always.”
· · · · ·
Miles held Nell in the dwindling firelight. She was warm and pliant in his arms, snuggled against him, skin to skin, deep beneath the heavy blankets that covered the bed. He’d drawn them up over them at some point. He couldn’t recall when. His brain wasn’t yet functioning at its full capacity.
Nell idly traced his bare chest. “Where did you get these?”
Miles’s muscles jumped under her questing fingertips. Even now, after all the intimacies they’d shared, her touch still made his breath quake. “The bruises are courtesy of Silas.”
“Not the bruises.” She found an old scar under his breastbone. “This.”
“A memento from the Rookery. Another lad stabbed me when I was twelve.”
Nell flicked him an appalled glance. “Why on earth would he do that?”
“He was a young villain trying to make a name for himself. He came for Gabriel one day in an alleyway and I got in the way of his knife.”
“Heavens.”
“It looks worse than it was,” Miles said.
“Was the boy arrested?”
“No. At the time, Rookery disputes were settled within the Rookery.” Miles refrained from describing the punishment Gabriel had meted out to the lad. Even Miles hadn’t known about it until later.
Nell’s fingers slid to the even bigger scar on his abdomen. “What about this one?”
Miles’s blood simmered with renewed heat. He stopped her hand before she could delve further. “A stabbing incident in a tavern brawl in Marseille.”
She met his eyes with wry humor. “You got in the way of another knife?”
He smiled briefly. “Something like that.”
“What was the story about?” she asked. “I assume you were working on one.”
“I was.”
“And?”
“It was about smuggling.” Lifting her hand to his lips, Miles pressed a kiss to her fingertips.
“I never knew reporting could be so dangerous.”
“I’ve been telling you.”
“Yes, but…” She trailed off as he kissed the palm of her hand. Her fingers curled against his cheek in response, gently cradling his face.
Miles’s heart thumped hard. It had been the biggest surprise. How sweet she was. How tender. She had so much affection in her. An untapped reservoir of it. And she had given it all to him, freely, generously, with an innocent abandon that had altered the very alchemy of his soul.
“I’m tempted to leave tomorrow,” he said abruptly.
She started. “What?” Her hand tightened on his cheek. “But why? We’ve hardly begun.”
“You’re more important to me than any story.”
Her gray eyes softened. “That’s kind of you to say, but…I don’t see why you must choose between the two.”
Miles didn’t hesitate to answer. Never mind that it made him vulnerable. Never mind that she might not feel the same. A fact was a fact. “Because I love you.”
Nell stared at him. Her throat worked on a swallow. “Miles—”
“I love you,” he said again. “There’s no story in the world that’s worth risking your safety. No newspaper either. I’d give up the Courant tomorrow if I thought—”
She gripped his face. “I’d never ask you to! Why would you think—”
“I’d do anything to keep you safe. Anything to keep you full stop. All I want in exchange,” he finished gravely, “is to be with you.”
“You are with me. I thought that much was evident.”
“I want more,” he said. “I want this—you—all the time. Forever.”
“You have me,” she said. “So long as I have you in return.”
Miles scowled. “I told you that I’m yours. That I love you. How much plainer—”
“But I love you, too,” she said.
It was his turn to stare. He suspected he’d misheard her.
Nell’s mouth tipped in a tremulous smile. “I can’t believe you haven’t noticed. You notice everything else.”
Miles slowly shook his head. He felt a trifle dazed. “I didn’t think…” He stopped, his mouth gone dry. “I knew you liked me, but—”
“Of course I like you! You’re the best man I’ve ever known. The smartest. The bravest. The most considerate. A champion of truth, and justice—”
“And cats,” he finished for her. “Don’t forget the cats.”
“We have five of them,” she replied dryly. “I could hardly do so.”
We not you.
Miles didn’t fail to catch the distinction. They were their cats now, not his alone. Indeed, he wasn’t alone anymore at all. Gathering Nell close, he kissed her softly, deeply, telling her again that he loved her. That he was mad for her. That he was never going to let her go.
Tomorrow, when he returned from shooting, they would tour the portrait gallery, and the next day they would contrive to visit Bricket Lodge.
The sooner they did, the sooner they could discover whatever it was Cowgill had learned there.
And then they could return home and start the rest of their lives together.
All that remained was to get through the next two days without getting themselves killed.