Chapter 20 #2
“Me neither. Look at us having something in common. I do make an exception for your brother, though. They’re very good.
” She gave him the friendliest comforting tap on the shoulder and stood.
“Speaking of water, I’ll be at the pool if anyone needs me.
I suspect no one will, but hey. That’s my Zaffre lot in life. ”
“See you later.”
Zinnia took exactly five steps, twirled around, and began walking backward. “Oh, by the way, thank you for the flowers. In about three months, there’ll be a surprise for you on my shop’s website.” She’d named the finalized broody, misunderstood firefly character Wylie after him.
The pool was one long rectangle with sharp ninety-degree corners and a three-tiered waterfall, as advertised. A deep blue bottom made the gently churning water appear bejeweled in the sunlight.
Zinnia claimed one of the white lounge chairs, pulling it closer to the pool’s edge, and opened the umbrella. Fiona had insisted she pack a bathing suit because “hot and rich people always end up wearing them at some point on reality TV.”
She only owned one—a teal tankini with oranges on it. Lulie no doubt sensed a disturbance in the fashion force as she stripped out of her clothes.
“Here you are,” Jordan said, appearing right as she finished her sunscreen routine. He was simultaneously squinting down at her and roasting in the sun.
“Come on.” She pulled his wrist until he sat down beside her under the umbrella. “It’s like you want to get heatstroke.”
“You’re talking today?” He didn’t bother hiding his surprise.
“What, like it’s hard?”
She held her breath as he relaxed, hoping for a half-hearted dirty joke about oranges and common decency, and got nothing.
His family might not have noticed a difference in her, but Jordan absolutely did. It’d been hard to miss the ever-present tension in his jaw and shoulders. His long, plaintive stares whenever she was near him. How hesitant his touch became.
In the depths of her burned-out despair, he’d been the light beckoning her back to the surface. He was in her system now like a fever she’d never sweat out. She thought about him more than she should but less than she wanted, in every way imaginable.
“Are we skipping work today?” he asked.
“It was a premeditated last-minute decision.” She nodded to her camera pod. “They finally gave up on clicking at me.”
“Clicking?”
“You know, because they’re not allowed to talk to me. If you can, please make sure they don’t get in trouble. They tried to do their job. I just didn’t feel like listening.”
“I don’t know, actually.” He frowned. “Nora, what is she talking about?”
“Nora. Oh, that’s much better than Honey Ginger.”
The Nora in question pressed her lips together until they disappeared. She hesitantly reached into her pocket and gave him the small silver device.
He stared at it in his hand before pressing it once. “How long have they been using this?”
“Since the beginning. Why?”
“Why?” His eyes flashed. “Why didn’t you say something?”
“What was that going to do?” She rolled her eyes to ask him to stand down and rested her head on his shoulder, inhaling like an addict getting her daily husband scent fix. “It’s fine, Jordan. Don’t worry about it.”
When she tried to take it from him to give it back to Nora, he snatched his hand away and slipped it into his pocket. He breathed through his nose, like an angry bull getting ready to charge.
“Jordan—”
“I heard you. It’s fine.” His jaw tightened as he nodded toward the pool. “Are you going to get in?”
“I don’t know how to swim.”
“That’s not what I asked. I’ll be right back.”
Jordan
He returned about ten minutes later with inflated pool floaties and—
“Shorts!”
Zinnia’s gleeful laughter was the only thing magical enough to make him ignore how fucking furious he was. He needed to focus on her right now.
“I think your thighs give me cuteness aggression,” she mused. “I think I want to bite them.”
“Go for it.” He kissed the top of her head and found her pouting afterward. “What? You didn’t honestly think I’d tell you no.”
“You could’ve.”
“Not happening. You look at me and my self-respect disintegrates. You can do whatever you want to me.” He tossed the lounger and donut chair into the shallow end of the pool.
“Is that so?” She began hitting the sunscreen bottle against her palm.
“On second thought, no. I’m good on that specifically.”
“Sit down. Now.”
Jordan froze as a shiver ran through him from her tone. Two weeks of almost no touching had left him starving—he sighed for show, trudging over to her. “Your wish is my command.”
“It better be,” she joked.
He sat with his back to her, expecting a sensuous massage. Maybe even a little flirty banter to top things off.
That wasn’t what he got. She laid into him with fast, efficient strokes—up, down, side to side.
“Why are you being so rough? Be gentle with me,” he said while laughing.
“I’m being thorough,” she corrected. “Hold still.”
“Yes, ma’am.” A unique, almost pleasant mix of minerals and rich cocoa butter wafted through the dry summer air. “You really believe this stuff works?”
“Scientifically proven. Arms up.” She was a machine. Not a single patch of skin missed from his shoulders to the line of his trunks.
“Does it stop you from tanning?”
She snorted as she focused on his neck and across his traps. “Don’t worry. You’ll still get as sun-kissed as toasted coconut. Want me to do your front?”
Before he could answer, she leaped off the chair and stood in front of him with a huge smile on her face. He had zero idea why putting on sunscreen made her so happy, but he was happy to see it.
However, he couldn’t risk letting her touch his chest. Not in public. He had no idea how he’d react, and he didn’t trust the camera to be enough to keep him in check. “I can do it.”
Zinnia passed him the bottle and then rummaged through her bag until she found another one—an aerosol this time.
She dropped into a squat in front of him.
“Make sure you cover everywhere and don’t forget your face.
” She started spraying his legs, enthusiastically patting it into his skin for good measure. “Perfect. All done.”
He waited patiently while she returned the sunscreen to her bag but caught her around the waist when she tried to sit down. She let out a surprised shriek as he lifted her over his shoulder, one arm firmly locked around the back of her knees.
“Jordan!” Her buoyant giggles added at least fifteen years to his lifespan. “I don’t want to get my hair wet! Or my face! You know what? Why don’t I just stay on dry land and watch you swim?”
“I put on sunscreen. You’re getting in the water. Compromise is a wonderful thing.” He walked down the short set of stairs into the shallow end of the pool.
“But it’s only waterproof for up to ninety minutes! We’ll have to get out and reapply!”
“Deal!”
The water hit his waist, and she shrieked again, jerking her legs upward so fast she almost kicked him in the face. “It’s too cold!”
“Your toes barely went in!”
“I need to acclimate first!”
“I have a better idea.” He pulled the chevron-patterned chaise longue closer and carefully lowered her onto it.
“I really don’t know how to swim,” she warned while getting settled. “I think I need those arm things kids wear. Or a life vest—can I have a life vest?”
“We don’t have any.” He took off both their mics and flung them back toward the chairs. “How come you never learned?”
“I didn’t grow up near a pool. Lakes feel murderous to me, like they personally want me dead. Oceans are just off-limits period.”
“Mhmm, but skydiving is perfectly safe and normal.”
“Hey, I will take the sky over the sea any day.” She turned onto her side to face him and looped one arm around his back.
He began ferrying her through the water at a leisurely pace toward the deep end. “I thought you wanted to go sailing with me.”
“I do. I’ll be nice and safe on the boat, on top of the water in my full-body life vest with my rescue whistle. I’m going, damn it.” Her eyes began to drift closed while she was still smiling at him. “This is nice. You might’ve been on to something about falling asleep on the water.”
“Don’t.” He risked a kiss on her shoulder. “Can we talk instead?”
She stretched, long and lean and mesmerizing, eyes still closed.
“Zinnia, I know my family isn’t—” He paused, unsure of what to say. No family was perfect, but he was done making excuses for his.
“Your family is fine, Jordan.” Her tone spiked with frustration. “Stop worrying about it. I’m not going anywhere.”
They fell into a tense silence until the water reached the middle of his chest.
She lightly gripped the back of his neck. “You better catch me.”
“What?”
She rolled off the lounger, splashing into the water while yelling, “I can’t swim! I can’t swim!”
Heart beating faster than the speed of light, he quickly hoisted her up out of the water. She swapped flailing for holding on for dear life—limbs locked around him like a scared koala clinging to a tree.
It was then that he realized how they looked.
“Zinnia.”
“Hmm?”
“We’re almost the same height. You can stand up.”
“I could slip and fall and drown. You have to carry me.” She squeezed him tighter, diabolical giggles vibrating into his chest.
“Why did you do that?” He jostled her slightly to reposition his grip. One arm holding her waist and the other supporting underneath—her thighs clenched around him in response, and he swore his life flashed before his eyes. He was ready to die a happy man.
She rubbed his cheek with hers before pulling back to look at him. “You were making The Face. The one that makes me want to hug you.”
“What does it look like?”
“We both know you can’t be trusted with that information. You’ll just start making it all the time.”
He chuckled. “Probably. You should hug me more often.”
“Oh, thank Jesus.” She laughed. “I thought you’d never ask.”
“Is that all I have to do? Ask?” He swayed in the water, creating rhythmic ripples around them.
“Whenever you want.”
He kept his tone even. “Can I ask for other things too?”
“Whenever you want, whatever you want. I mean, I might not say yes,” she teased. “But you should ask me anyway.”
What he wanted most felt like too much.
He bowed his head and lowered his voice to a whisper just in case. “Can we start sleeping together again?”
She suddenly averted her gaze, staring intently at the water. Fast, but not fast enough to hide the flash of joyful desperation in her eyes. “You’re only asking because the attack scared you.”
Whenever they spoke this close, she always touched his jaw, and this conversation was no exception. Her soft fingertips tickled upward along his cheeks until her still-warm palms cupped his face—his eyelids involuntarily fluttered. God, he missed her.
“It did,” he admitted, voice going hoarse. “But what scared me more was what happened after. You weren’t—”
She shook her head. The decision not to share with the cameras was clear in her eyes.
“Did my hovering make it worse?” he asked instead.
“No.” Her tender smile was a blessing made of sunlight. “Actually, thank you for being there. It helped me find my way back faster.”
He began walking toward the shallow end. “When that happens is there anything else I can do? I wanted to be there if you needed me, but I didn’t actually know what you needed.”
“Just give me time.”
“Time,” he echoed. “Okay.”
“And I know you’re the opposite. I’ll come right to you as soon as I can.” Just like she had when he fought with Lulie. During and after and still came to his sister’s rescue.
Zinnia wasn’t interested in falling in love, but never said he couldn’t. She never even asked him not to—that loophole made his side of their marriage-merger fair game.
Technically, he was allowed to be madly in love with his wife, and he’d fallen hard.
Now, telling her about his feelings? That absolutely crossed the line. Good thing he was great at keeping secrets.
Jordan set her down on the underwater bench seat, but she crawled back over him the moment he was next to her—this time her back to his front. He used his hands to help her balance as she tried floating.
“Okay, that’s enough.” She sat back on his lap, wrapping his arms tightly around her waist. “I don’t want to drown.”
He chuckled as he hooked his chin over her shoulder. “You know I also asked because I missed you, right?”
For an answer, she kissed his temple and then his cheek over and over and over. Each kiss felt like running across hot coals, right on the edge between torture and exhilaration.
“How about this?” he asked. “We leave our doors open at night. If, at any time, you wanna join me, you have a lifetime pass. Come to my room whenever you want. For whatever you want.”
She pressed her forehead against his. “Deal.”