Chapter 28 #2
“You think he doesn’t love you?” Her mom crossed her arms, head tilted to the side. “The man you brought here—the one you called husband. You think he doesn’t love you?”
“I’m saying that’s not why we got married. I know being in love is important to you and Dad. I wanted to wait until I had proof that my way could work too.”
“I heard what you said. Now answer my question.”
“What question?”
A loud crack sounded from inside the house. Zinnia spotted her dad pass by a window and almost yelled. “Are they in the den?!”
“Mind your business,” her mom said calmly.
That was where her dad kept all his weapons. He was a super Christian who firmly believed in the Second Amendment and self-defense.
She’d always remember the fight her parents had when her dad decided to sign her up for boxing. He’d said, “She’s a little girl getting beat up by other little girls. Boxing will give her the tools to decide how she wants to protect herself in the world.”
Her dad was amazing, and she loved him, but he could also be overprotective in unexpected ways.
“There’s literally no reason for them to be in the weapons den! Jordan isn’t a threat.”
“Stop deflecting.”
“I’m not!”
“Then focus on yourself,” her mom ordered. “I know times are different. Your dad and I always try to keep an open mind, but what exactly do you think ‘being in love’ means? Explain it to me.”
“I’d rather not.”
“That face of yours.” Her mom laughed and tugged Zinnia’s chin.
“The point of this session isn’t to change your mind about anything.
If your heart is saying he’s not in love with you, then I believe you believe it.
Okay. Well, what is there, then? Because you wouldn’t have brought him all the way here if there wasn’t something. Trailer or no trailer.”
“He’s very important to me. I don’t want to live without him. That’s as far as I’ve gotten,” she admitted, watching the window for signs of distress.
“And why do you think that is?”
She just shook her head instead of lying to her mom.
Because creating a marriage-merger, having a business marriage, wouldn’t stop Jordan from leaving. She didn’t create a foolproof stay with me cheat code. Anyone could be abandoned. She wasn’t special.
But what she could control was how much it would hurt her when he went. If she held back her heart, when they went their separate ways, she’d still be intact. Losing him didn’t have to mean losing everything.
She didn’t ever want to feel the way she did the night of the twins’ birthday party again. Hearts like hers weren’t meant to survive that kind of pain. She’d felt like that knowing he wasn’t in love with Bea. When it happened for real, she wouldn’t—
“That’s all right. The answer will find you as long as you keep looking,” her mom promised, suddenly rubbing Zinnia’s arms. “Calm down, honey.”
The sliding glass door banged open. “The boy is fine,” her dad gruffed. “We’ll be there.”
Why did he sound disappointed?
“Oh, how wonderful,” her mom said. “Your daughter is not.”
“Mom!”
But she was already ushering her dad back inside to talk. She was about to follow after them when Jordan appeared, all smiles.
“Your dad has a lot of guns. You could’ve warned me.” He laughed, not looking any worse for wear.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t think he’d take you in there.”
“It’s all right. What happens now?”
“They’re conferring.” Zinnia glanced toward the house and crossed her arms. “They might want to switch. I’ll talk to my dad. You’ll talk to my mom.”
“Got it. I’d kiss you, but I think even my rated G behavior would be too much.” He grinned. “So, do I get to have a hometown tour while we’re here?”
“No.”
He eyed her with a patient smirk. “That’s it? No jokes.”
Excluding her parents and Shelby, there was nothing for Zinnia in the place where she’d grown up.
She smiled brightly. “If I showed you around, there’d be a lot of ‘this is where I used to get jumped’ and ‘this is the church that I stopped going to when I was fourteen and broke my mom’s heart,’ and can’t forget ‘this is where I got so drunk I almost died of alcohol poisoning.’ Being here really stresses me out. ”
“Ah.” He nodded and then wrapped his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into a hug. “When you think of home, is it people and not a place?”
“It’s always been people, but it’s also the townhouse,” she said, looking up at him.
“I think I’m the only one who cares about it, though.
Grace has always wanted to try living on the East Coast, New York or Connecticut.
Fiona wants to settle in the country on a small farm.
I know they’ll end up doing both, probably at the same time, until one sticks. ”
“What about you? Where do you want to go?” Jordan had this ability where he infused so much raw sincerity into his eyes, it made her involuntarily sigh every time he did it.
“We’ve been in the townhouse years. Now I live in a high-rise in the same area. And I have my first office. And a husband with local storefronts. Those roots feel like home to me.”
“You know, I was really mad when my mom asked if you would move in with me because I’d been working up the nerve to ask you myself.
It felt like one more milestone taken from us,” he admitted.
“The townhouse is yours. The apartment was mine. We deserve a forever home that’s ours from the start—that’s a dinosaur. Your parents have a dinosaur.”
Shelby had finally made her grand entrance. She was larger than average and deceptively fast. Zinnia swore she purposefully moved slower while being watched to hide her true speed.
“And someday she’ll be our dinosaur,” she said, planting a kiss on his jaw. “They live a long time. I’ll have to take her at some point. Wherever we end up, we’ll need a backyard.”
He laughed. “Beta Carotene will be devastated he’ll have to share.”