Chapter One
Eric
“C an I get the two of you an appetizer?” The waiter looks back and forth between Ana and me. While I could definitely go for some nachos or mozzarella sticks, I don’t plan to order any, and I’m quietly hoping she doesn’t either.
It’s not that I wouldn’t treat on a date.
That’s not how I am, but funds are low right now and getting lower by the day.
Living in Los Angeles? It’s not easy. I moved here from the high desert with Donovan after we graduated from high school.
He came to LA for college, and I came to LA to be with him.
He’s my favorite person in the world and has been for as long as I can remember.
“I don’t want anything,” Ana says, and a silent thank fuck runs through my head.
“I’m good too. Are you ready to order?” I ask Ana, who nods and begins telling the waiter what she wants.
I met her two weeks ago at a pool party at Donovan’s place. She works with Donovan’s friend Hayes, whom he met because they share the same cheating ex. It wasn’t until the day after the party, when Donovan asked me what I thought about her, that I realized he’d been trying to hook me up.
It’s not like I have trouble finding women on my own.
I enjoy a whole hell of a lot of them, and they enjoy me too.
But apparently, Donovan thinks I should try a relationship , and I can’t for the life of me figure out why.
My life is great the way it is—well, money issues aside, but Donovan doesn’t know about those.
He has it in his head that I sacrificed too much for him when I was a kid, which makes absolutely no sense.
I didn’t sacrifice anything. But now he tries to make up for that by taking care of me or doing things for me, when really, I’m just happy the way I am.
It’s not that I don’t like Ana. She’s fun and makes me laugh. She’s kind and beautiful. I just don’t feel more than friendship for her. And I’ve never felt that spark outside of sex for anyone, so maybe I just don’t have it in me.
When she’s finished ordering, I tell the waiter what I want, and then he disappears.
“How was your week?” she asks.
“Good. Worked, went to the gym, and hung out with Donovan. We did some meal-prepping on Sunday. He works twelve-hour shifts at the hospital, so it’s easier on the days he works if he has food already prepared.
” Donovan is really fucking smart. He always has been.
He helped me more than he’d ever admit when we were in high school.
Now he’s a nurse in the emergency department at one of the local hospitals.
“It’s sweet how close you guys are.” Ana smiles.
“Thanks. He’s the best. What about you? How was your week?”
We chat for a while about random things.
She and her sister did some shopping, and she talks about her job as Hayes’s secretary.
Work has been slow for me lately, when it shouldn’t be.
I’m a landscaper for this guy Cliff, but he’s having trouble bringing in jobs. It’s probably because he’s an asshole.
It’s not long before the waiter brings our food, and again, I realize how much I do enjoy spending time with Ana, even though I can’t see myself falling madly in love with her the way Donovan strangely seems to want me to do.
“Do you have anything fun planned the rest of the week?” Ana asks.
I shrug. “Not really. Working, hanging out with Donovan, and a pickup game of basketball with a few of the guys from the gym.”
“Does Donovan play with you?”
I laugh. “No. He’s not into sports…or men who play sports, for that matter.”
“Don’t tell Rylan.”
He’s Hayes’s boyfriend and happens to be a professional hockey player for the Los Angeles Rebels. He’s…well, he’s something, all right. I’m not sure how to even explain Rylan, but I like the guy a lot. “Rylan is the exception, but I think it would be impossible not to like Rylan Pierce.”
“True. And of course Donovan makes an exception for you too.” She grins.
I shrug. “That’s because he’s my person. You have to like your person.” I take another bite of my burger. “This is really good. You wanna taste?”
Ana smiles. “No. That’s okay. I like you, Eric.”
I freeze mid-bite. Like me , like me? Because again, no spark for me.
But maybe if I tried longer? I don’t know why I wouldn’t want to date someone like Ana, for all the above.
She’s not someone I would just want to hook up with, though, and risk messing up a blossoming friendship.
I wouldn’t want to do anything that might hurt her or cause issues since she’s close with Hayes, and Hayes, Donovan, and Anthony have all gotten close as members of the Jilted Exes’ Club.
I hate that name, but D says they’ve reclaimed it, whatever that means.
The three of them met after Hayes went viral for proposing to his ex at a hockey game.
Only, Malcolm wasn’t just Hayes’s boyfriend.
He was Donovan’s, Anthony’s, and who the hell knows who else’s.
I always hated that guy. What did Donovan ever see in him in the first place? He was never good enough for D, even before I knew he was a cheating, manipulative asshole.
“I think I broke you,” Ana says, making me realize I’ve been spacing out and didn’t respond. I have a habit of being easily distracted.
“I…like you too…?” I say, and what the fuck?
Why did I make it sound like a question?
“I mean, I like you too!” I amend, which earns me a laugh from Ana.
Thank God she’s not taking this personally.
“I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.
I’m usually better at this.” But then, I’m usually only thinking about spending a night or two with someone and not whatever this is with Ana.
“It’s okay. I get what you mean because I feel the same.”
I frown, not really liking how this feels from the other side.
“Not like that.” Ana reaches over the table and places her hand on mine. “I know Hayes and Donovan were trying to play matchmaker. I don’t think they hit on the romance front, but I really do like you a lot. I have fun with you, and I’d love to keep spending time with you as a friend.”
A relieved breath whooshes from my lungs. “Oh, thank God. Me too. We have a lot of fun when we hang out, it’s just…for some reason, I don’t think I’m built for dating.”
She cocks a brow. “Oh yeah? I think you would be when you find the right person.”
“That’s the thing—there never has been a right person.”
“I think they’re closer than you think.”
I shrug because she’s wrong. I have no prospects but her, and we just talked about how we don’t see each other that way.
“Want to know a secret?” Ana pops a fry into her mouth. “It’s one I’ve never shared with anyone.”
“Clearly. And just so you know, I’m the world’s best secret keeper.” I grin.
“I don’t doubt it. But anyway, mine is…well, I’m in love with my best friend, who also happens to be my ex.”
I wince. “Ouch. That can’t be fun. What came first? The relationship or the friendship?”
“We weren’t friends our whole lives like you and Donovan. We met at this art festival. We’re both really into stuff like that, and we just…clicked.”
“That’s how it was with me and Donovan. The first time we met, we just clicked. Granted, we were eight.”
“Justin and I, we started hanging out as friends and got really close…then we started dating…I fell in love with him, and then we broke up. I miss him and want him back. I never told him how I feel—the love part, I mean.”
Why is she telling me this? Maybe so I don’t take it personally that she isn’t into me? She wants me to know she can’t because she’s into someone else. “I’m sorry. Wanna use me to make him jealous?” I pump my eyebrows. “We can fake a relationship.”
“Eh, thanks for the offer, but I don’t think it would work. I just…sometimes the person we’re looking for is closer than we think.”
“Right? I can see that. If I were queer, Donovan would be my perfect partner.”
“If only.” Ana smirks, before changing the subject. We hang out for a while longer, and when the check comes, she says, “We should split it.”
That would be good for my finances—I’ve been trying to save money because my rent is going up—but I would also feel like a total asshole doing that.
I brought her out for dinner. I asked her on a date, even though we’ve decided we’re better as friends.
“How about I get it this time and you get it next time?” I offer, which is also a perfect way to make sure she knows I really do still want to hang out with her.
“Awesome. That sounds great.”