Chapter Six
Donovan
A loud, dramatic laugh tumbles out of Eric’s mouth.
He one hundred percent thinks I’m joking, but I’m not. I’ve been thinking about it since I found out about the lack of insurance. It’s the only way I can think of to get him coverage, and everything he just told me has done nothing but reinforce my idea.
When I don’t smile or take my words back, Eric sobers. “You’re serious.”
“Yes.”
When he’s thinking hard, he always gets what looks like a small scowl on his face.
To people who aren’t familiar with him, he would look upset, but I know him.
It’s his think face, which is adorable, if I do say so myself.
He’s this strange mix of sexy and cute—not sexy in an I-want-to-jump-his-bones way, of course, but I’m not blind.
“I know it happens often,” he says, “but I’m confused.”
“Don’t talk about yourself like that. You don’t get confused often, and there’s nothing wrong with someone who does.”
“Cool, but you’re stalling. Did you just propose to me? I’m totally lost here.”
“I did, but not in a romantic way,” I explain.
“Is there another way to get married than a romantic one?”
I roll my eyes even though he has a point. “Yes. A convenience one. In our situation, an I won’t be able to stop worrying about my best friend unless he’s covered by my medical insurance .”
His mouth drops open. I can see the wheels turning, Eric connecting the dots and coming to the conclusion that I’ve lost my mind.
“Did you hit your head and I missed it?”
My pulse throbs, and I feel like I’m underwater or something. “Jesus.” I try to stand up, but Eric holds my wrist, keeping me on the couch with him.
“Don’t get up. What are you talking about, D? I can’t marry you so you can cover me with your insurance. Plus, it’s not like it’s going to fix the broken ankle.”
His touch helps me get through the fog of my thoughts.
“I know that. But we’re lucky it was something minor this time.
What if next time it’s not? What if you get sick?
Or hurt in an accident? Like I said before, people die not being able to afford health care, and I can’t…
” The thought of something happening to Eric is devastating enough.
What would I do if he was hurt and couldn’t manage what he needed?
If he got sick the way his dad had? It’s shitty that we live in a country where this is a concern, but that doesn’t change the fact that it’s something people have to worry about.
Working for the hospital, I have really good coverage.
I hardly have to pay for anything. Why wouldn’t I want to make sure he has the same?
“Hey, you’re shaking. I’m good. I’m not going to get sick. I’m just an idiot who hurt himself playing basketball.” He runs his hand up and down my back. “Come here.”
“I’m as here as I can get.” The couch wouldn’t be big enough for both of us on a good day, and right now he’s also got the giant boot.
“We’ll make it work.” Eric scoots over as far as he can, then pulls me to him. I lie on my side, facing him, about to fall off the couch, but he puts his arm around me, holding me in place.
“I know I’m being dramatic, but my parents almost lost our home when I was a kid.
They worried they wouldn’t be able to give me what I needed, and I just…
I can’t. Not with you. Not when we have an easy fix.
Nothing would change for us. It’s not like I would think…
Oh God. Do you think I think it would mean something? ”
“Think you can say think one more time?”
I shake my head, not in the mood. “I know you’re straight, and I don’t see you like that. You’re my person, but not in that way.” If Eric wasn’t my friend, then yeah, I would probably want him, but I never allow myself to think those things.
“Hey, what’s wrong with liking me in that way?” He pumps his brows. “I’m a catch.”
“You know what I mean.”
“Sure, but you don’t have to act like there’s something wrong with being attracted to me.”
“Um…did I slip into another universe? Why are we arguing about this? Of course I know there’s nothing wrong with being attracted to you. I’m just trying to make sure you know that your gay best friend didn’t propose to you because he secretly hopes it’s a loophole into your pants.”
He frowns. “I wouldn’t think that.”
“So can we get back on track?”
“The track where you think we should get married because I can’t afford health insurance? How is that fair to you?”
“I’m the one who asked.”
“What if you want to date?”
“Did you miss what happened to me a year ago? I thought I was in love, and he was a cheating bastard who’s dated half the queer men in the United States.
He was a manipulative liar. I’m never dating again.
” Maybe I’m being dramatic, but it’s how I feel.
No chance in hell I’m risking my heart, at least not anytime soon.
Eric gives a real scowl this time. “Don’t let that motherfucker win. He doesn’t get to take that away from you. If anyone deserves to find a good man, it’s you.”
Why is Eric the sweetest person in the world?
He means well, but I really don’t want to talk about Malcolm right now.
“I’m not ready for that. I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for that again.
If this is about you and Ana, we can tell her.
I’m sure she’ll understand why we’re doing it.
” The last thing I want is to come between them.
Eric thinks I deserve to find happiness, but he does too.
He has so much love to give, and sometimes I worry he spends so much of his time with me, he doesn’t let himself see what’s out there beyond a quick fuck.
And now I’m asking him to marry me? What am I thinking?
“Ana? Why would…oooh. No. We’re just friends. I forgot to tell you we talked the last time we went out, and while we both like spending time together, there’s no spark.”
I…don’t get it. Eric has never had a romantic spark with anyone, and it makes absolutely no sense.
How has he never been in a serious relationship?
And how can someone as great as him not have women dying to be with him—not that I’ve seen, at least. Is it that whole nice guys finishing last ?
Eric might not have that gritty edge, but he’s hot, funny, and basically sunshine in human form.
“She doesn’t know what she’s missing,” I tell him.
“Thanks for defending my honor, but it was mutual. Now back to the marriage situation…that feels gross to me. Like I’m taking advantage of you.”
“Why? It’s my idea. I’m the one who feels like I’m taking advantage of you. Here I am, asking you to marry me because I’m a big baby and afraid of losing you.”
“Are you kidding me? You’re asking me because you care about me. You’re making this sacrifice for me. There’s never been anyone who loves me as much as you do.”
It strikes me that we’re going in circles, telling each other how much we care and how awesome the other is. “We’re ridiculous.”
“Yeah, well, you started it.”
“I want to do this for you,” I admit. “I don’t want to push you, and I understand if you’re not interested.
I get that it’s a big thing, wanting you to marry me, but I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much you’ve given me.
If there’s anything I can do to make your life easier, I want to do it. ”
He sighs. “It’s not really that big of an ask.
It’s not like I ever planned to get married anyway.
” He’s always said that, and I don’t understand why.
When I talk to him about it, Eric always says he just doesn’t think he’s the type to settle down.
He has no desire to, and I have no choice but to accept that.
“My mom would kill me if she knew I didn’t have insurance. ”
“I know. That would’ve been my next argument.
” She’s never gotten married or even dated since losing Eric’s dad.
I remember her joking around once about him being her penguin.
He was it for her. Eric and I had been kids and didn’t really get it, but now, though I hate the thought of her being alone, it’s sweet that she loved him so much.
That she found her soul mate. I used to dream about finding mine one day, hoping it would be just like that, but Malcolm took that away from me.
I try to spend my life looking on the bright side, but when it comes to relationships, I don’t know that I can anymore.
“Do you promise this won’t cause you any issues in your life?” he asks.
“Yeah. Absolutely.”
“And if you meet someone and get serious, or once I get on my feet again and am able to get insurance for myself, that we’ll get a divorce and it won’t cause any complications in our friendship?”
“Nothing would ever come between us.”
“And that you’ll let me pay the additional portion it’ll cost you to add me to your policy?”
“Yes. Geez. When did you become such a tough negotiator?”
“Please. I’m not tough with anything when it comes to you.” He kisses my temple, and I snuggle close. “We’re getting married. As wild as that sounds, it kinda makes sense.”
“Right?” I joke along with him. “Too bad you had to go and be straight, or we would be perfect for each other.”
“What? It’s not all my fault. You’re the one who’s told me a hundred times that you don’t see me like that even though I basically should be anyone’s dream man.”
“You’re going overboard, don’t you think?” But really, he’s not. I just won’t tell him that.
“Are we telling our parents?”
“God no.” Mine already give me enough of a hard time about Eric. They think we’re a couple and don’t seem to understand the fact that my best friend is straight.
“What about our friends?”
I think for a moment. “It’s up to you, really, but I say we play it by ear. There’s no reason to tell them. I don’t think most people will understand.”
“You can say that again.”
“On the other hand, it feels weird to keep it from Anthony and Hayes. We’re connected by such a tragic event that I feel like they’re a part of me now.”
His hold on me tightens. “Hey, if you’re not careful, I’m gonna get jealous. You’re my best friend.”
I chuckle, knowing he’s not being serious. Eric would never begrudge me anything that makes me happy. “You know what I mean.”
“I do, and I’m fine with telling them. Like you said, we’ll play it by ear.” His face tightens.
“Are you hurting?”
Eric nods.
I get off the couch and get him one of his pain pills. He takes it, then sighs. “I need a nap, D.”
“Okay. You sleep. I’ll make plans. We can drive to Vegas.”
He grins, eyes already closing. “This is gonna be fun…husband.”
I shake my head. “Go to sleep, you big dork.”
But strangely, he’s right. I never thought I would get married.
It’s not that I wanted to or didn’t, just never saw myself finding someone I’d spend the rest of my life with like that.
Even though I’d been in love—or thought I’d been in love—with Malcolm, I hadn’t imagined marriage.
While this situation with Eric is for convenience only, in a weird way, this might be really fun.