Chapter Thirty-One
Eric
W e decide to wait until my eye is mostly healed before we make the drive to the high desert to talk to our parents. The past few weeks have been awesome. Being in love is like, twelve out of ten stars, easily. Highly recommend. At least when you find the right person, and Donovan is mine.
All my stuff is officially moved out of the spare room and into his. I’ve changed my address on my license, and we decided to officially hyphenate our last names. We went with Markham-Carter.
“Are you nervous?” I ask as we make the drive. We’ve taken Donovan’s car again because it’s in better shape than mine.
“Yes and no. I know they’ll be supportive that we’re together, but I don’t think they’ll be happy to find out we’ve been married for months. Like they missed out on something.”
“I feel the same.” The thing is, I don’t want them to have missed out on something. I feel like we missed out on something too. What we did at that tiny chapel in Vegas was the start to this all, but it wasn’t enough for me, and I want more for Donovan too.
I keep that to myself for now.
We continue talking the rest of the drive, before arriving at my house. When we told them we wanted to talk to all three of them, Donovan’s parents said they would go over to our place this time.
As soon as we step onto the porch, Mom opens the door, wearing a huge smile, and instantly pulls me into a hug. “This visit is such a nice surprise.”
I should come and see her more than I do. LA isn’t too far from here. “We’ll visit more often.”
Mom beams, and I don’t think it’s just the promise of a visit making her smile so widely.
“Hey, Donovan. Good to see you too.” Mom hugs him next, just as his parents come up the sidewalk behind us.
“Hey, baby.” His mom hugs him.
“Hey, Mama.”
“How you doin’, kid?” asks his dad before they embrace as well, followed by the same hellos to me.
I feel like the news could burst out of me any second, like if I don’t tell them right now, I’ll explode with it.
I can’t help the guilt that churns in my gut either. Are they going to think Donovan felt forced to marry me because I don’t have my shit together?
He frowns at me slightly, as if he can see the turmoil going on inside me. I give him a small smile, not wanting him to think I’m having any regrets.
I signal toward the couch, and we walk over. Donovan sits down first, and I do the same, keeping close, legs touching, drawing courage from him.
“Donovan and I are married!” I blurt out, and Maggie gasps. I slap a hand over my mouth. Oops! It wasn’t supposed to come out that way.
Donovan sighs. “I thought we were going to slowly work them into that part?”
“Married??” Mom asks at the same time as Calvin’s, “What’chu mean you’re married?”
Before I have the chance to explain, Donovan says, “It was my idea.”
“It was my fault,” I add. “He wouldn’t have had the idea if I wasn’t a dipshit.”
Donovan turns to me. “What? You’re not a dipshit. I hate it when you talk about yourself like that.”
“Can someone please tell us what’s going on?” Mom asks.
I’m the one who started this, so I make sure I’m the one to tell them about it. “When I left my old job to work with Cliff, I knew he wouldn’t offer medical insurance. Yes, I quit my job with coverage to go somewhere that didn’t have it because, well, like I said—dipshit.”
“Or, you know, someone who cares about others and tried to help out someone you thought was a friend,” Donovan defends me, reaching over and lacing our fingers together.
“When he broke his ankle and I found out he didn’t have medical coverage, I sorta lost it.
I was worried for him. You never know what will happen, and I let my fear of having been sick as a kid take over and came up with the plan for us to get married and put Eric on my medical insurance.
He only did it so I wouldn’t worry so much. ”
“That’s not true. I did it because I thought it would be fun to be married to you.”
Calvin cuts in. “Would the two of you stop defending each other like you’re being attacked?”
“We’re just trying to figure out what’s going on,” Maggie adds.
“It was supposed to be a marriage of convenience, for the insurance and while I got back on my feet.” My stomach cramps with nerves. “I wasn’t trying to take advantage of him. I love Donovan more than anything in this world.”
“Oh, Eric,” Maggie says. “No one would ever think that. We know how much you love him. I’m just trying to understand. A marriage of convenience? We thought…”
“We are,” Donovan says. “We realized over the past few months that we’re in love.”
“And probably always have been in love,” I continue.
“And now we’re together for real.” Donovan squeezes my hand.
Our parents are quiet for a moment, making sweat bead on my brow. Did we misjudge this? Do they hate the idea of us together?
“I’m going to take care of him,” spills from my lips. “Not that Donovan really needs me to take care of him, but I’m not going to make foolish decisions anymore, and I’ll pay my own way. I’m serious about starting a business, and I swear I’ll be whom he deserves.”
Donovan turns sideways on the couch so he’s facing me again. “What are you talking about? You don’t have to do anything to be who I deserve. You don’t really feel that way, do you?”
I look away, insecurity clawing at me. “You’ve always had your shit together, and I’m the guy following you around. I wasn’t good enough for college, bounced from job to job, couldn’t afford my apartment. You had to marry me to get me out of my mistakes.”
“No. I didn’t. I married you because I love you, even before I realized I’m in love with you.
” I can’t help but look at him as he speaks.
“We’re a mess—both of us. You feeling like you’re not good enough for me, me feeling like I’ll never be good enough for you.
I’ve never understood what you see in me, even when it was just you befriending me, and then everything with Malcolm happened, which ruined my self-esteem even more.
But we do deserve each other, and we are good for each other.
You have such a big fucking heart, Eric, and that’s my favorite thing about you.
I don’t care if you went to college or have your own business or anything like that. I just want you.”
My heart races out of my chest, blood rushing through my ears and making everything around us echoey. “I just want you too.”
He pulls me into his arms, my face immediately buried in his neck. It’s not until I hear sniffles in the room that I remember we’re not alone.
We pull away at the same time, Mom and Maggie both wiping tears.
“This is good crying, right?” I ask.
“Yes. Good crying.” Mom shoves to her feet, and I do the same.
Donovan goes to his parents, while Mom and I linger close to each other. “I’m sorry if I disappointed you.”
“No.” She shakes her head. “You never could.”
“The insurance thing…knowing how much Dad’s medical bills were and the things Donovan went through…”
“Yes. It wasn’t a great decision, and I wish you’d known you could always come to me, but I’m not disappointed in you.
Eric… Donovan is right. You’re ruled by that big heart of yours, and there’s nothing wrong with that.
You’re smart, kind, your own person, and everything I hoped you would be.
I’m proud of you. Dad would be proud of you too. ”
Now it’s my eyes filling with tears and me doing the sniffling. I squeeze Mom as tight as I can, trying to show her how much her words mean to me. I want to make her proud, even if I don’t always go about it the right way.
“You and Donovan,” she says softly. “I’ve been waiting for this. Both my boys are together, the way you’re supposed to be.”
I pull back to look at her. “You wanted this?”
“I knew it would happen. Maggie and Calvin did too. We were just waiting for the two of you to catch up.”
And all it took to get us here was a marriage policy.
“I really, really love him.”
She cups my face. “I know you do, sweet boy. And he really loves you too.”
I nod, knowing she’s right.
We swap parents, Maggie and Calvin hugging me and telling me they love me and how happy they are that Donovan and I are together.
When Donovan comes back over to me, I do what I’ve been thinking about for days: I get down on one knee.
“What are you doing?” Donovan asks.
“I don’t have a ring, but I want you to know I’m going to work hard to buy you one, and then, I want you to marry me again. I want our friends and our family there to see us become husbands. Donovan Carter, will you marry me again?”
I’ve never seen him smile so big. Eyes glassy, Donovan tugs me to my feet. “Yes. Always. I’ll marry you a hundred times if you ask.”