Chapter 20 #2
She pulled free from my light grasp and frowned. “No. I don’t think you get it. The same way you say you wouldn’t have asked me to marry you if you didn’t want me around, it works both ways. I wouldn’t have said yes if I didn’t want you around.”
I pulled in a deep breath, recalling parts of the conversation I had with Mya. In theory, it made perfect sense that my spending
time with my wife would be a no-brainer, that it would be something she’d want . . . I wanted that. But if I was here, then
I wasn’t doing what I needed to do in order to provide.
“Forget it,” she said, pushing off the sofa and heading back to the table. “You still think I’m being unreasonable.”
I made it over to her before she could refill her glass with the remaining wine.
“Damn it, Courtney! Not fair!” she shrieked as I held the bottle up and out of her reach. She pulled out a chair and tried
to climb up, but I wrapped my other arm around her waist, swinging her around to stop her progress. Vuitton jumped off the
couch and ran over, barking at us for the commotion.
“Hush, Vuitton. We’re good,” I said, trying to quiet him.
“No, we aren’t,” Sasha contradicted, breaking free of the loose hold I had on her. “What’s even the damn point of whatever
this is supposed to be if you still ain’t listenin’ to me!”
Vuitton kept barking and running around our feet, which gave me flashbacks to the morning I fell down the stairs. “Stop!”
I yelled. He whimpered, then scurried behind Sasha.
She scooped him up, cradling him. I set the wine on the table before collapsing back on the sofa. I rested my head on the
cushion, covering my eyes with my arm. This was not going how I’d expected, though I truly hadn’t known what to expect. I
did know this was the moment I’d normally get frustrated and fed up and walk away for my own peace of mind, and it was taking
everything in me to not do that.
I heard her say something to him about going out.
A few seconds later, the back door opened and closed.
I blew out a long sigh. After getting the checklist from Doc and thinking things through, I’d been hopeful, but it was like two steps forward and twenty steps back.
I sat up, trying to roll the tension from my neck just as the two of them came back inside.
Sasha didn’t say anything when she sat at the other end of the couch, but when she released Vuitton he slowly approached me.
I rubbed his head, and that seemed to be all he needed to climb into my lap and attempt to lick my face, which I never allowed.
“Hey, hey, you know betta than to do all that,” I softly scolded.
After a few more failed attempts, he gave up, hopped down, and curled up on his tiny sofa dog bed. Sasha still said nothing,
so it would be on me to either try to get us back on track and be productive in finishing the conversation, or just let it
be for the day.
“Where you goin’?” she asked when I stood.
“To clean the kitchen.”
“So, we’re done now?”
I didn’t miss the attitude that laced her words. I silently counted to ten before answering. “There’s no wall,” I said, gesturing
to the open space. “If you have something else to say, I can hear you just fine. And for the record, I didn’t say you were being unreasonable. You jumped there while I was listening to what you were saying and trying to take it all in.”
Sasha remained on the couch, surprisingly quiet. For someone who was seemingly worried I was ending the conversation, she
wasn’t doing much talking since her outburst. I gathered our dishes from the table, pausing to decide on our wineglasses.
I picked up mine, but left hers. As I stood at the sink rinsing our bowls before loading them into the dishwasher, Sasha walked
up, wrapped her arms around my waist, and rested her head in the middle of my back.
“Why do you put up with me?” she whispered.
“You’re cute,” I responded without missing a beat.
I felt her body shake as she laughed. “Good to know my looks are my savin’ grace.” She tightened her arms around me. “When
you were gone, I told myself I needed to do better. Be better. Not so selfish . . . yet the moment I didn’t hear what I wanted
to I slipped right back to being just that.”
Sasha’s statement was probably one of the most self-aware things she’d said in a while. I shut off the water then grabbed
the dish towel to dry my hands. She stepped back as I turned to face her.
“This is what I meant about us talking at each other. We are both very passionate people, and we want what we have to say
to be heard. But we can’t keep going like this.” I pulled my phone free from my pocket to quickly forward her the email I’d
gotten from Doc. “One of the things I thought about was how we rushed into marriage.” I held up my hand to stop whatever she
was about to say. “It’s a fact, baby. Things were going good, and we were in the honeymoon phase of dating. Plus, the team
had a huge win, and to me, that—I wanted to hold on to all the good that was happening.”
Sasha’s face contorted into a deep scowl. “So, I could have been any-ol’-body that came along at the right time and you woulda
married them?”
“What? No! Shit, sorry, that came out all kinds of wrong. I was just tryin’ to explain . . . we were, I was, impulsive. And
in that impulsiveness we didn’t learn, truly learn about each other. And with my schedule, even all these years later, we
still . . . haven’t. We started based on vibes, and that’s what we’ve been going on ever since.”
I held her chin, making sure she knew I was serious.
“However, I asked you to marry me because I wanted to be with you. And still do.”
A soft smile graced her beautiful face. “I still want to be with you too, baby.”
I matched her smile. “I sure-as-fuck hope so. And I want you to know I hear you, it’s . . . it’s just hard for me to comprehend,
I guess.”
She tilted her head. “What?”
“That you want me around. Why you want me around, I should say. Not exactly something I’m used to.”
Sasha frowned for a minute, then her face softened as she stretched up to wrap her arms around my neck. I circled mine around
her waist and leaned into her embrace. Into the comfort she offered. Comfort I allowed myself to accept. I nuzzled my face
in the crook of her neck, inhaling her soft floral scent. We weren’t perfect by any means, but the feel of her, the smell
of her, both managed to bring me a sense of calm.
I cupped her cheeks then kissed her, sweet and gentle. A kiss of remembrance, of promise, and appreciation. She moaned against
my lips as she pressed closer, deepening the connection. We were a puzzle with the edges completed, but still needed to figure
out the middle.
I broke from the kiss but kept us close. “Are you willing to get to know me?”
Sasha bit the corner of her lip, and a sexy, mischievous glint that I’d missed sparkled in her eyes. “Are you?”