29. Jonto #2
“Stop it, Isla. Please, let me explain.” Jonto’s heart leapt into her throat when Isla looked over her shoulder as though readying herself to jump.
“Isla, look at me.” When she did, Jonto continued, “Do you remember when you asked me to keep your confidence?” She swallowed hard when a gust of wind pushed outward toward the bay.
If Isla hadn’t been holding onto the rocky edge, the wind might have done what she’d intended when she’d come to her beloved Windsong Cave.
Isla’s shoulders relaxed with the question, and she quietly acknowledged how his willingness to listen to her concerns meant such a great deal to her peace of mind. “And you kept your word. While it no longer matters, I thank you for your discretion. It meant more to me than you know.”
Her tone no longer carried the anger it once did, which was more worrying than if she’d continued to shout.
Jonto wasn’t sure she was doing the right thing, but Norae had told her to trust Nico, and Nico had told her to trust this woman with her greatest secret.
“Isla, I’m going to tell you something that should you choose to repeat it to anyone, anyone at all, it could destroy my life as I know it.
But just as you asked for my discretion, I’m asking you to keep my confidence in this. Will you do that for me?”
Isla’s tormented laughter seemed genuine but frightening when applied to their current situation. “Yes. I’ll keep it for the rest of my days, Lord Jontoreaux.”
“Please, don’t make light of this, Isla. Only two other people know what I’m about to tell you. But I’ll only tell you if you give me your word that you won’t tell another soul. Not Celie, not the Judge. No one.”
Isla quietly said, “I already told you I won’t be telling anyone your secret, Jonto.”
“I need your word, Isla. You’re making this into a joke because you came here to end it all.
” At Isla’s lowered brows, Jonto nodded.
“Lily found that blasted will and came looking for you at my home. So yes, I know what you intend. But what if what I have to say changes your mind? I need your word.”
She studied Jonto for a while before pulling in a deep breath and sighing. “Very well. I give you my word, on my mother’s soul, that I won’t ever betray your confidence. Is that serious enough for you?”
“Will you please sit? Because you’re making me very nervous standing on the ledge like that.”
After another heavy sigh, Isla moved to the flat rock and, with tired resignation, lowered herself down.
Jonto pulled off her oilskin coat and placed it around Isla’s shoulders.
“Your teeth are chattering. Here, put your arms through.” When Isla accepted the offering, Jonto sat and swiveled around so she faced her.
“Isla, do you remember when I told you that my twin sister was swept off the deck of our caravel?”
Up to that point, Isla seemed uninterested in anything Jonto had to say.
It was as though she’d simply been biding her time until they could finish the conversation and she could end it all.
Now, empathy replaced apathy in those expressive green eyes.
“I do. I can’t imagine witnessing something so dreadful. It had to be heart-wrenching.”
Jonto moved closer and covered Isla’s cold hand with her own shaking fingers.
“It was. I fully intended to throw myself into the sea. But Isla. Here’s the part that’s going to be difficult to understand.
” With her heart pounding painfully, Jonto caught and held Isla’s gaze.
“It wasn’t my twin sister that went into the sea that day. ”
Isla’s gaze sharpened. Her brows drew together as she tried to work out precisely what she meant by that. “What are you saying? That your sister didn’t drown?”
“I’m saying it was my twin brother who was carried off of our ship by a towering, cresting wave.” Jonto stared into those uncomprehending eyes, willing her to understand.
“Your twin—you were twin brothers and not brother and sister?”
“We were born brother and sister.”
Isla cocked her head, chewing on her lower lip as she worked out the puzzle. Stunned silence followed as realization dawned. Her mouth dropped open, and she blinked rapidly, staring into Jonto’s face as though seeing her for the first time. “No.”
Isla rose slowly as though her brain had somehow disconnected from her body.
In slow motion, she shook off Jonto’s hands and backed as far away as possible, which wasn’t very far as she’d only taken two steps before the rock wall stopped her.
She whispered, “No,” a second time. Her shaking legs gave way, and she began sliding inexorably down, unaware of the jagged rocks digging into her shoulders.
Afraid the sharp edges would seriously injure her, Jonto hurried forward.
Before Isla completely collapsed, she grabbed her by the arms, pulled her away from the wall, and held her up by encircling her waist with one arm.
With her mouth close to Isla’s ear, she ordered, “Breathe, Isla. In.” Jonto pulled in a breath and waited for Isla to do the same.
“That’s it. Now out.” They repeated that for several breaths until Isla was able to hold herself upright.
Too much had happened over the past weeks, and Jonto's latest revelation was just another in a series of overwhelming shocks that had hit Isla one right after the other. Sweat beaded her brow, and her face paled to the point Jonto feared she’d gone into shock.
Maneuvering her around so the backs of her knees were against the flat rock, Jonto released her waist and moved her hands to those shaking arms. “Here, sit. I shouldn’t have been quite so blunt.
” She thought about that and then amended, “Well, I didn’t really have a choice, but I’m sorry it shocked you like it did. ”
“You’re—” Isla’s gaze traced the contours of Jonto’s face and moved down to her bound chest. It finally came to rest on the codpiece she routinely wore as part of her masculine persona.
When those troubled eyes finally met Jonto’s worried ones, Isla could only repeat, “No.” She fell onto the rock more than sat, shaking her head back and forth in shocked denial.
Jonto stepped back and rubbed her hand over her chest. Her heart continued to pound painfully as she studied Isla’s face, trying to decide the best way to proceed. She finally settled on a whispered, “Yes.”
“But, why?”
That question gave Jonto’s emotions a firmer footing on which to stand.
It was one she could answer with confidence, and her tone reflected the change.
“For the same reason you were ready to fling yourself off the cliff. Male-Preference Primogeniture, or, as it’s known in the kingdom I come from, Absolute Male-Preference Primogeniture.
Unlike with you, my estates would have passed to the monarchy before a woman would inherit.
When my brother died, our land and estates, which had been in my direct familial line for five generations, would have gone to a drunkard of a second cousin who’d already gambled away his entire family inheritance, including his lands and estates.
Like you, I was desperate to not have that happen. ”
Isla’s nostrils flared. “So you became a man?”
“No.” Jonto took a step forward. “I’m still very much a woman, Isla. Just like you. I took on the guise of a man, that’s all.”
“Who else knows?”
“Nico. He was with me on the caravel and was the one who knew what we had to do.”
“He’s the only one?”
Not wanting to begin a relationship with a lie—if she could convince Isla to marry her, that is—she quietly said, “And Jack.”
“Jack?” Isla’s voice rose with her incredulity. “Jack Dubbin? You trusted a…a…”
Unsure what derogatory term she’d eventually land on, Jonto said, “A friend.”
The clear warning in her tone wasn’t lost on Isla, who blinked several times. “But why him?”
Lifting a shoulder in a half-shrug, Jonto sighed, “He figured it out.” Since it wasn’t Jonto’s place to divulge Jack’s secrets, she decided those same secrets included the wild, unfettered, hedonistic sex they’d shared while at sea.
So, maybe not begin with a lie, but an untold truth. If there was such a thing.
When no other questions were forthcoming, Jonto did something she’d never thought possible. She knelt on one knee and took Isla’s hand in both of hers. “Isla Brighton, I don’t know what our future might hold, but would you do me the honor of marrying me and becoming my wife?”