Chapter 6
FREYA
Between work and trying to research everything Sir gave me, I’m emotionally and physically spent. I’ve been slammed at work this week, and when I finally make it home, I can’t stop reading and rereading the paperwork. It scares and excites me. Everything I read turns me on with no release. He told me I’m not allowed to pleasure myself, and as much as I want to every time I think of him, I have such a burning desire to please him.
We speak daily on the phone he gave me at the club, and there’s something so comforting about his voice. He doesn’t push or pressure me, answering any questions without judgment, yet I still haven’t put pen to paper.
The moment I step foot inside my apartment, I peel off my clothes and head straight for the shower. It’s been a long day. One of those days that you physically need to wash it away before you can relax.
When I’m clean and my hair is towel-dried, I grab a sandwich—the dinner of champions—and reach for my Dom phone. Just thinking it is crazy. Me. Freya . I have a phone that’s just for a Dominant whose name I don’t know and whose face I’ve never fully seen. As ridiculous as it sounds, I can’t help myself. My whole body has pulsed with a low, thrumming arousal since the first time he touched me, his lips brushing mine on the dance floor.
Me: That’s me home for the night. Tucked up in my bed.
He likes to know I’m safe, even though he barely knows me, and I like that someone cares. Manhattan can be a lonely place when all you do is work. I’ve never had much time for a social life, and until now, it hasn’t bothered me. It wasn’t until I started looking into the lifestyle that I made the decision to make time for a life, and since meeting Sir, I crave his attention. I shouldn’t. I pride myself on not being one of those women who needs a man, but there’s something about him.
Sir: Lucky bed. I’ll call you in five. Just finishing up something.
A thrill courses through me. What would it be like to have him in my bed? He doesn’t know where I live. We know next to nothing about each other.
When the phone rings, I immediately pick up, and any pretense of being cool, calm, and collected evaporates. I just want to hear his voice.
“Hello, little one.” The low rumble sends a shiver down my spine.
“Hello, Sir.”
“You were out late tonight.”
“I was working. It’s been a long, stressful day.”
“I’d come and de-stress you, but then I’d have to know some personal details about you.”
A pang of fear prickles my skin. “I’m not ready for that.”
“Do you have any questions for me tonight? I see you haven’t updated the portal yet. What’s holding you back, little one?” There’s something so genuine in his words. It’s how I’ve always pictured a boyfriend treating me—kind but authoritative. Except he’s not my boyfriend and doesn’t even know my name.
“Did you speak to your lawyer friend about a contract without names?”
“Yes. You and I can sign separate contracts and have her keep them. She will need your legal name to write it up, and obviously, she already knows mine. You can still shield your face and let me know your name, little one. Or you could show me your face and keep your name hidden. Why are you so afraid for me to know who you are?”
“The things I want you to do to me. Depraved things. The last guy I dated…”
“Let me stop you there for a moment. I’m not like the boys you’ve been with before. I’m a man who knows what you need. Whatever you desire, I will give you the opportunity to explore in a safe space with me.”
“But what if we don’t like the same kinks?”
“Let me worry about that, little one. My job is to help you solidify what you do and don’t like.”
“I’m just a job.”
“No. Not at all. I never train people I don’t find attractive or have a connection with.”
“What happens if I don’t sign the paperwork?”
“I really hope that’s not what you choose because we can’t move forward without it.”
“But we’ve already had some form of intimacy.”
“Yes, and that was again a weakness on my part the last time you were here. I’m drawn to you, little one, but as much as you have wants and needs, so do I. I need you to sign the paperwork if I’m to train you properly.”
“Six months? That’s how long you want me?”
“Yes. I’ll make sure you have the best sex of your life, little one. All you have to do is fill out the forms and sign on the dotted line. You can do this. We can do this.”
“If I complete them tonight, when can I see you next?”
“I’ve put my schedule on the calendar I created. Check it tonight and see when you have time. We can take it from there.” My heartbeat picks up, galloping to new heights at the thought of seeing him again.
“Okay.”
“Say yes, little one. I promise you won’t regret it.”
“Okay.” It’s all my brain can manage while enthralled by every word that leaves his lips. The memory of how those lips felt at the apex of my thighs has me panting.
“Is my girl frustrated?”
“Yes, Sir.” If he were here with me, the rapid rise and fall of my chest would give me away.
“Tell me, have you been a good girl? I told you not to touch what’s mine.”
“I’ve been good, Sir.” Just speaking those words to him makes me squirm in my bed. Why do I crave his approval? He would be none the wiser if I slipped my hand between my legs to ease the ache I feel whenever he’s on my mind.
“You’ll be rewarded the next time you come to my private room.”
“Do you usually use the voyeur room?”
“That was the first. It’s a new floor of Venom.”
“What about…” I stutter over my words.
“Are you asking if people have watched me having sex before?” I don’t respond, too nervous to speak. “The answer is yes. I’ve explored a lot of kink, and I know what I like now.”
“Will you expect me to have sex in front of people?” I’m not sure which answer I want him to give.
“That depends on you, little one. If it’s a hard limit, then no, I would never ask you to do that. If it’s something you want to try, then I’ll make it happen.”
“Do I have to decide right now?” Butterflies take flight in my stomach, swarming as arousal builds. I look over the papers in my hand, thinking I might let this man do anything he wants to me. That I want him to make the decisions for me because something is holding me back, and I’m certain I am getting in my own way at this point .
“Of course not. First, you need to complete the forms. Then, we take it one lesson at a time. If and when you feel comfortable enough, you can choose where we have sex and who’s watching.”
Holy Mother of all that is good and pure. I want this man more than my next breath.
“Thank you, Sir.”
“It will be my pleasure. We’ll talk soon, okay?”
“Yes.”
“Goodnight, little one.”
“Goodnight, Sir.”
My pulse is racing when the call ends, already starved for his attention. I want it all. Setting the papers out in front of me, I start filling them out, one by one.
Sexual History
An STI test is required by both parties prior to any sexual interaction. Please attach results.
Have you previously had an STI? No
If yes, please state:
Date of your last period: 12 months ago
Is there a chance you’re pregnant? No
Are you currently on birth control? Yes
If yes, please state: Pill
Further discussion may be required regarding birth control methods approved by both parties.
That one was easy. If there was a box to tick if you’re the most basic vanilla bean, it would be me. No pregnancy scares. No orgasms unless they were by my hand. Not even a really great first-date kiss in a long time.
I can only imagine how experienced Sir is if he trains submissives. Would he think twice about teaching me if he knew how woeful my sexual history truly is? An abandoned fumble on prom night that left me somewhat disillusioned with the whole thing, a college date who didn’t know his ass from his elbow, and one boyfriend a few years back who wasn’t exactly open to ideas.
Sex is such a vulnerable act to share with another person, and when you put your trust in someone like that, it’s crushing to be mocked and shamed by the time you hit third base.
I realized pretty soon after that my tastes lie outside the norm, and that’s when I started my research. In every other aspect of my life, I’m meticulous to a fault—methodical, rational, and always in control.
With one form complete, I steel myself for the next. This won’t be so easy to fill out.
Sexual Preferences
Read the following list and mark as appropriate. This list is not exhaustive and can be added to.
Section 1
French kissing - Yes
Vaginal sex - Yes
Anal sex - Maybe
Oral sex – receiving - Yes
Oral sex – performing - Yes
Unprotected sex (with BC) - Maybe
Anal toys - Yes
Vaginal toys - Yes
Nipple clamps - Yes
Clitoral clamp - Maybe
Leg restraints - Yes
Wrist restraints - Yes
Spreader bars - Yes
St. Andrew’s Cross - Yes
Ball gag - Maybe
Mouth ring - Maybe
Mask play - Yes
Finger play - Yes
Fisting - No
Blindfold - Yes
Sensory deprivation - Yes
Shibari - Yes
Multiple partners - Maybe
Additional male - Maybe
Additional female - Maybe
Group Sex - No
Voyeurism - Maybe
Exhibitionism - Maybe
Punishment (complete section 2) - Yes
Degradation - Maybe
Praise - Yes
Pet - Maybe
Daddy - Maybe
Withholding release - Yes
Ingestion of body fluids (cum) - Maybe
Golden shower - No
Wax play - Yes
Training demonstrations - Maybe
Club V submissive - Yes
Bedroom submissive - Maybe
24/7 submissive - Maybe
Section 2
Cat of nine tails - Maybe
Paddle - Yes
Cane - Maybe
Flogger - Yes
Whip - Maybe
Additional Information:
N/A
Reading the list has me wet with arousal, moaning as I squeeze my thighs together to try and alleviate the growing ache. I’ve never even heard of some of these practices. The golden shower was an eye-opener. I can gladly say I never want to try it. Sir is sexy as hell, but it turns out I do have a line I won’t cross. I hope it’s not something he requires of his submissives.
Thinking about him with other submissives causes a knot deep in the pit of my stomach, and I consider the contract. It mentions fidelity of both Dominant and submissive. That means if I give myself over to him for six months, then he’s mine and mine alone for that same time.
I move on to the next sheet of paper.
Limits
Safeword: Lavender
Safe signal: clenching her fist three times
Hard Limits: fisting, group sex, golden shower
Soft Limits: pet
It’s easy enough, assuming the limits can be determined as my training moves forward. Now, onto the contract.
1.Contract
This agreement is entered into as a consensual training contract between _____________the Dominant, and _____________the submissive, to ensure respect and understanding is observed at all times. The nature of this contract is to provide the submissive with a safe place to train and explore her role as a submissive, under the tutelage of the Dominant. This includes exploration of her sexuality in accordance with the list of hard and soft limits provided, together with a list of sexual preferences. This agreement permits the Dominant to exercise control in a trusting environment with the submissive, allowing him to help ascertain her wants and needs. The submissive’s well-being, both in and out of the playroom will be respected at all times. Modifications to this agreement will be permissible if both parties agree. Revised documents would then be provided and signed. Should either party find themselves unfulfilled by this agreement, or they wish to terminate this training agreement for any reason, then either party may do so by written or verbal communication to the other.
The Dominant and submissive will be sexually exclusive to each other for the duration of the training contract unless a third party has been agreed upon by both parties.
Current date: _________________
Contract duration: six months.
2. Limits
The submissive will provide The Dominant with a list of soft and hard limits. The submissive agrees to the use of the safeword “Lavender” and will use it responsibly. In case speech isn’t possible during a scene, the safe signal “clenching her fist three times” will be implemented. The Dominant will respond accordingly where a safeword/safe signal is used, and all activity will cease. The Dominant will hold no resentment toward the submissive for enacting her safeword/safe signal, and no punishment shall be administered following the responsible use of the safeword/safe signal.
If a safeword/safe signal is not used, but the Dominant sees signs of distress, training for the evening will cease. The Dominant will then explain his reasoning to the submissive in order that she understands his decision as part of her training.
The Dominant will provide the submissive with a list of soft and hard limits. This is to ensure both parties are comfortable with all activity and are given equal respect.
See attached list of soft/hard limits provided by both parties .
3. Roles and Responsibilities
The roles and responsibilities of the Dominant and the submissive will be as follows:
The Dominant
The Dominant will always be honest, clear, and concise with the submissive. He will be sensitive to the submissive voicing her opinions and any concerns regarding her training, encouraging her to express her feelings without fear of reproach.
The Dominant hereby commits to undertaking the responsibility to train, discipline, and punish the submissive as he deems appropriate. The Dominant may use the submissive as he sees fit, but only in a healthy, rational state of mind. Punishment will never be administered from a place of anger.
The Dominant will maintain a healthy, positive attitude regarding the submissive’s life outside the playroom. He will be open to discussion regarding any concerns in her private life only when requested by the submissive. He will not isolate her from friends and family unless she is in a dangerous situation or has voiced concern.
The Dominant will respect the submissive at all times, unless the terms of this agreement are breeched.
The submissive
The submissive will use a safeword/signal to communicate her boundaries, ensuring they are maintained at all times. (see attached lists of sexual preferences and limits)
The submissive will be honest with the Dominant at all times to ensure he can effectively meet her needs. If the submissive is found to be dishonest, putting her training in jeopardy, the Dominant is within his rights to immediately terminate this agreement without further discussion.
The submissive agrees to trust the Dominant within the bounds of this training agreement, and will obey his rules in accordance with a consensual Dom/sub relationship.
The submissive will respect the Dominant at all times, unless the terms of this agreement are breeched .
4. Consent Between Both Parties
I, ______________ , as The Dominant, have read and understood this contract in its entirety. I accept the submissive’s submission in a consensual training agreement.
Signed: _________________
Date: ___________________
I, ______________ , as the submissive, have read and understood this document in its entirety. I agree to submit to The Dominant in a consensual training agreement.
Signed: _________________
Date: ___________________
With everything completed and signed, I move on to entering all of the relevant information into my Club V profile. When I’m done, I type out a quick message.
Me: I’ve completed everything, Sir.
It’s a few minutes before he answers.
Sir: Good girl. And naughty girl. You’re supposed to be sleeping.
Me: I’m sure you’ll find a way to punish me the next time we meet.
Sir: You can count on it. Tomorrow, I’ll send you my profile so you can get acquainted with my preferences and limits. Should you have any questions, message me. Once you have all the necessary information, you can set a date for our next meeting, little one.
Me: Can’t you send it now?
Sir: Patience is a virtue. You’ll learn. Go to sleep.
Me: Ugh. Fine. Goodnight, Sir.
Sir: Goodnight, little one. Dream of me.
My heart takes flight at his tender words. Can I dream of a man I’ve never seen? Maybe he is my dream because I have never seen his face. As I burrow beneath the blankets, arousal gives way to something much more sinister—something akin to affection. I fall into a fitful sleep, plagued by a knight in shining armor, unafraid to wield his sword and have me beg on bended knee. He wears a mask, and yet I know it’s him.
Sir’s profile was enlightening. He has a wide variety of tastes. Some I’m hesitant to learn, and others I will gladly and whole-heartedly submit to. We’ve set a time for our next date. That sounds so pedestrian. It’s not like we’re grabbing dinner and a movie. We are going to perform explicit, kinky acts on one another, with me submitting to his every whim.
My day has been grueling, to say the least. I’m overworked, underpaid for the hours I put in, and most definitely underappreciated by my boss. He has this way of talking that makes me feel one inch tall sometimes. Today was one of those days. I missed something, and I knew as soon as it happened. It was fixed in a matter of seconds, but he chewed me out in front of my coworkers, and I hated every second of it. I’m counting the days until I can leave and work somewhere else.
All that gets me through the day is knowing I’ll speak to Sir before I go to bed. He’s seen my profile by now, and I hope he’s pleased with what I’ve written. There’s a part of me that worries he’ll judge me for the acts I want to try, and maybe he won’t want me after reading it. I know that’s ridiculous—he’s a Dom. He wants to participate in this with me. To teach me how to please him .
I’m lost in thought as I grab my jacket and purse to head home, only to find one of my colleagues staring at me. “What? Do I have something on my face?” I swipe at my cheeks.
“No,” he says with a voice so smooth it should be illegal. “You seem different lately.”
“Do I? Nothing has changed. Work, rinse, repeat. You know the drill.”
He crosses his arms, eyeing me with a stare that makes me uncomfortable. Is it written on my forehead? Kinky slut.
“I don’t believe you. You’re getting laid. I can tell. You have that pep in your step.”
He and I have been friends for a while, and he’s always on me to date more, but I don’t want to share Sir with him or anyone else.
Schooling my face, I try to play it off as nothing. “I think you need some vacation time. You’re clearly so overworked you’re delusional.”
“Deny it all you want, but I’ll get it out of you eventually.”
“Good luck with that.” I head for the door, hoping I’m not blushing at the thought of Sir. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Bright and early, Freya. Don’t stay up too late riding the D train.”
“I feel bad for you. I hope you have the good sense to be embarrassed about that last statement.”
“Not my finest hour.”
“Goodnight, Shane.”
The moment I hit the street, I reach for my phone.
Me: Hello, Sir.
As I walk the couple of blocks to the subway, every step is heavier than the last. I don’t remember the last time I got a full night’s sleep. I work, and I wait. Wait for the next time Sir and I will be together in his playroom.
Sir: Hello, little one.