Chapter Thirty-One
The doctors decide to keep Granny in overnight, a development neither of us is pleased about, but we don’t really have a choice.
Jack insists that he should drop me straight home, that I need to rest, but a whole day has passed since the blackout, and I want to make sure everything is okay.
So, despite his oddly well-meaning protests, I direct him through the village to the fireworks field, and he pulls up just as the first one is released into the sky.
A loud cheer from the gathered crowd sounds as soon as it does, and for a moment, the two of us just sit there, before I twist in my seat to face him. “Do you want to join us?”
I have a sudden vision of welcoming Jack into the village fold. Of him and Callum embracing, of Jack maybe making a little speech, eating some popcorn, and undoing the top button of his shirt to show how he’s a changed man. Instead, he just looks at me like I’ve grown two heads.
“Why would I want to do that?” he asks.
“I don’t know. It just seems like something that should happen.”
“Well, it’s not going to,” he says, unlocking the doors so I can get out. “I need a shower and a firm mattress. Out you get.”
“But—”
“Out.”
I do as I’m told, scrambling out onto the path as Jack drives off, disappearing into the night. Okay. One step at a time, I guess.
Taking a breath, I make my way over to the field.
I spy Adam and Gemma standing side by side, close but not touching.
Bridget is directing people to the best viewing spots, while Nush is doling out buckets of popcorn like it’s the most important task in the world.
I feel a rush of affection as soon as I see them, and I know they’re waiting for me.
I know I need to talk with them, but the thought of having to go over what happened, to deal with their concern, however well-meaning, sends a wave of exhaustion over me so strong I stop where I am.
And that’s when I spot him.
Callum stands at the edge of the crowd, wearing a pair of jeans and a plain black T-shirt, a plastic pint glass in his hand as he nods at something Frank is saying.
He looks comfortable. He looks like he belongs, and my heart pangs at the thought. It’s a new feeling, one I’m not sure what to make of yet.
The music grows louder, blaring a pop song everyone seems to know as the fireworks go off loosely in time with the beat.
One particularly large one draws everyone’s attention upward and, when it goes back down again, Callum’s eyes land straight on mine, his smile fading as his easy expression morphs into one of concern.
And it’s all suddenly too much. The emotions hit me one after the other. The stress of this morning, the anxious wait at the hospital, the relief that threatens to overwhelm me as soon as our eyes lock. It has been a bad day. A bad, long day and I have never felt more vulnerable.
I choke on a breath and turn, slipping through the crowd as I leave the crowded field behind and head back up the road to the village. Jack was right. I need sleep. I need a shower and a change of clothes and a few minutes to be alone. I need—
“Katie!”
I keep walking even as I glance over my shoulder, watching Callum weave between the villagers and the remaining guests, following me.
“I know you can hear me,” he calls, when I start moving faster.
I hear him curse as I take off, running back up the path and onto the road that leads to home. Turns out, if you don’t think about it too much, you can run pretty well in heels. The thing is not to second-guess yourself. To just keep going and barely touch the ground.
It almost feels nice. Stretching my legs like this. Maybe Plankton’s onto something. Maybe I should run more often. Maybe I should be that kind of person. Maybe—
“Ow! Mother— ow!” I stumble to a stop, almost tripping as a sharp pain spikes up my calf.
Callum’s on me in a second, grabbing me by my waist, so I don’t fall. “What’s wrong?” he asks, alarmed. “What is it?”
“Cramp.”
“What?”
“Cramp,” I hiss, not caring that I’m being ridiculous. “Ow, ow, freaking ow.”
“You shouldn’t have run in these shoes.”
“I wouldn’t have run if you hadn’t chased me.”
“I’m supposed to chase you.”
“Says who!”
“Says everyone!” he snaps and leads me off the path into a small field.
“What do I do?” I moan, the pain not abating.
He guides me to the earth, first so that I’m sitting, and then presses my shoulders until I get the hint and lie down, the grass cool but dry as it cushions my body.
“What are you doing?”
“Helping you, you idiot. Which leg?”
I point to my right one, and he grabs it and slowly stretches it upward.
“Is that better?”
“No.”
His frown deepens and he grabs the heel of my shoe, tossing it to the side. The skirt of my dress parts, giving him a clear view of my underwear, but his focus is on my foot as he covers my arch with a warm hand, pressing on it firmly as he pushes my leg higher. Immediately the pain abates.
“Okay,” I gasp. “Keep doing that.”
The music still blares from the party, but we’re so far away that all I can hear is the muffled beat of it.
The fireworks, however, might as well be right beside us the way they light up the sky directly overhead.
It’s completely dark out here otherwise, but they illuminate us every few seconds in blues, reds, and greens before fading again.
“What about now?” Callum asks after another minute.
I flex my leg experimentally, finding none of the discomfort I’d felt earlier. And though a part of me doesn’t want him to stop touching me, I nod and he lets me go, gently lowering my foot to the ground.
“Are you going to start running again?”
“No,” I mutter. “Emotional outburst done.” I’m embarrassed, but he just nods, collapsing to the grass next to me.
“You’ll stain your—”
“I don’t care,” he says, pressing his fingers to the bridge of his nose. “How’s Maeve?”
“Scared,” I say. “But she’s okay. The doctor said she can come home tomorrow.”
“Then why are you upset?”
“I don’t know,” I say, and I know the answer’s not good enough for him even though it’s true.
“Did Jack say something to you?”
“No. Yes. I don’t know.”
“You’re freaking me out, you know that?”
“Sorry.” I blink up at the sky, trying to control my thoughts and my fears and my wants as they scatter in a million directions, clashing with each other until I can’t tell which is which. “I’ve had a long day.”
Some of the tension leaves his body at my words, and his hand finds mine by my side.
“Jack said he’s going to offer you your job back,” I say, keeping my gaze trained up. “For that big office development in London. It sounds pretty cool, actually. They’re going to have a swimming pool on the roof of a skyscraper.”
“Sounds like a dumb idea to me,” he says, echoing my own words.
“Yeah.” I wet my lips. “Exciting though.”
I can feel him staring at me, but he waits until I look at him before he speaks.
“What’s happening right now?”
“I don’t want to leave here.” I say the words slow and clear, leaving no room for doubt.
“I have never wanted to leave here. This place has been the one constant in my life and, even if it changes, even if it no longer stays the Ennisbawn I grew up in, I can’t imagine living anywhere else. I don’t want to.”
“I know that.”
“Right.” I clear my throat. “But I also know that’s not for everyone.”
There’s a long moment of silence as he understands what I’m trying to say. “You mean, not for me,” he says flatly.
“No.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’ll get bored.” I press my lips together as soon as I say the words, mortified as my biggest self-conscious thought comes tumbling out.
Callum looks shocked. “You think I’ll get bored of you?”
“Maybe not of me ,” I say. “But of this life, yeah. It’s not for everyone. And you said you wanted to travel, start your business. That you wanted to find something more. You’re not going to find that here. This is it. Believe me.”
“Katie—”
“And I mean, sure, it’s all fun and games now,” I say, starting to babble.
“There’s a lot to do with the festival and it’s sunny and nice and the lavender is out.
But it gets cold in the winter. It gets cold and it rains, and there’s nothing to do and nothing ever really changes.
And I’m okay with that. I like that because I like it here.
And yet, for my entire adult life, people have looked at me like I’m the wrong one for feeling like that.
Like I’m some poor, confused child who doesn’t know any better.
You asked me yourself why I never left, and I get it, I do, and you…
you might need more than this. So eventually, yeah. You’ll get bored. You’ll leave.”
Callum doesn’t say anything for a long moment, his expression unreadable in the darkness, and then, seriously, so seriously he almost sounds mad, he asks, “When have I ever suggested you leave this place? When have I ever suggested you need to change your life? That you need to go somewhere new and be someone new?”
“You—”
“Never,” he interrupts. “I’ve never wanted you to be anything more than who you are.
Katie, I am in awe of you. I’ve spent my life trying to figure out what made me happy, what I wanted to do with my days if I was brave enough to try.
I never found it. Not until I came here.
I came here, and there you were, putting everything on the line because you knew what you had and refused to let it go.
” He pushes himself up with one arm so he can look down at me.
“I thought you were just being stubborn, but I get it now. I told you already that I made my choice, and my choice is you. What part of that didn’t you understand? ”
“It’s only been a few months,” I say weakly.
“So?” he retorts. “You think I don’t know my own heart?
You think I don’t know when I’ve found a good thing?
How can I get bored of this place if it’s where you are?
How can I get tired of it when all you need to do is stand there breathing and you have my full attention?
Katie, for the first time in my life, I feel like I’ve found a place I can call home.
And I’m not saying I know what’s going to happen.
No one does. And if you don’t want me to stick around because you don’t see a future with me, because you never intended for this to get serious, then I’ll respect that, of course I will.
But if you don’t want me because you’re scared of something bigger?
Because you can’t handle the fact that I’m falling in love with you?
Then that’s a whole different conversation we need to have.
And if you think I’m going to just let you run away from that, then you don’t know me at all. ”
He falls back down to the grass, scowling at the sky. “You told me once that Kelly’s was your favorite place in the world. Well, you’re mine. You’re mine and I’ll go where you go. For as long as you want me to, I’ll be right there with you.”
I watch him for a moment, a little speechless but unable to ignore the one very important thing he just told me. “You’re falling in love with me?”
“Understatement of the century,” he mutters, rubbing his face like he wants to wake himself up.
“Since when?”
“I don’t know. Forever?” He sounds pissed off and he must realize it because he takes an audible breath, forcing himself to calm.
“Or maybe from the moment you stomped across the construction site in your pajamas and jabbed a finger in my brother’s face.
You think the guys were happy with me rerouting our entire traffic route?
I wanted an excuse to see you again. Wanted you to think I was a good guy.
I couldn’t get you out of my head and I didn’t want to. I still don’t want to.”
A particularly loud firework explodes above us, but I keep my attention on him, watching his eyes trace the bursts of light.
“So maybe I’m not falling in love with you,” he murmurs. “Maybe I’m already there.” He tilts his head to face me and we’re so close now I can feel his breath on my lips. “I’m in love with you, Katie Collins. And I’ll choose you every time.”
We stay like that, watching each other until his expression softens into one of faint amusement.
“Not that you have to say it back, but—”
“Crap. Sorry. No, I do. I love you too.”
He laughs as my face heats in embarrassment.
“Sorry,” I repeat. “It’s because I was listening to your big proclamation.”
“Is that what that was?”
I nod. “About how you’re so devoted to me.”
He smirks but doesn’t deny it as I close the space between us and press my lips to his.
“I love you,” I whisper. “I love you, I love you, I love you. And I want you here. I want you with me.”
“Well, that’s good,” he murmurs. “Makes my life a lot easier.”
He kisses me until a faint cheer rises from the field, and I break away at the sound, looking behind us as gold ribbons spiral upward.
“You want to go back?” he asks, starting to sit up, but I shake my head. “You sure? It’s your moment of glory.”
“I’m good.”
He lies back down, and I nestle into him, resting my head on his chest as he wraps an arm around me. His body is completely relaxed beneath mine, but I can feel his heart thumping in a way that belies his outer calmness, the beat perfectly matched with the frantic pounding of my own.
As we watch, the promised hearts finally appear in the sky, and I swear I can hear the oohs and ahhs coming from the crowd. But I don’t move. I don’t want to move. I’m exactly where I need to be.
“Callum?”
“Yeah?” He kisses the crown of my head, and I burrow into his side.
“You’re my favorite place too.”