10. Halliday
10
HALLIDAY
The energy flowing from Lavinia is warm and inviting, and the way she talks about her fundraising is inspiring. She’s a woman with a big heart and a lot to give. And I certainly didn’t miss the way Sterling’s hand left my back to embrace her the moment he saw her.
Energy tingled through my veins when Sterling picked me up this evening. It only intensified when we walked into the ballroom together. Could it be because Lavinia is here? It’s the first time I’ve seen them together physically. I had a similar reaction when my last client met his date, who he’s now engaged to. Similar, but not quite the same. But I can’t read too much into that. Everyone’s vibration is unique.
“You’ve known Sterling a long time. You must be close?”
Lavinia’s light gray eyes sparkle as she reaches up to touch her earring. “Yes, Elaina and I were friends. I met him shortly after they got engaged.”
“I’m so sorry you lost your friend.”
She smiles sadly. “Thank you. Elaina was a wonderful person. A great mother.”
“That’s what Sterling says.”
“I imagine it is. I’d expect nothing less than him to talk of her with fondness. He’s a gentleman. Always has been.” Her gaze flits across the room to where Sterling is watching us. He smiles at Lavinia and then carries on talking to Sullivan and the other man he’s with. “I’m glad Sinclair hired you.”
“You are?” Hope lifts my chest as she turns to me.
“He needs to see that he has options. And those include not being alone anymore. He has a lot to give and could make someone very happy. It would be a terrible waste for him not to realize that.”
She blinks and looks away, fluffing her hair with one hand like she needs the distraction.
“Oh! There’s Helen. You must meet her. She’s one of the charity’s board members.”
I fall into the backseat of the limo with a happy sigh as Sterling slides in beside me.
“Good night?”
His eyes sparkle as I turn to face him, resting my cheek against the cool leather headrest.
“Amazing.” I beam. “Lavinia introduced me to so many people. A few asked about hiring me.”
“Ah, but you’ll need to have finished with me before that.” Sterling smiles, soft lines creasing the corners of his eyes.
“I know.” I roll my eyes dramatically. “Most difficult client ever.”
He chuckles, resting his elbow on the door as he runs his hand around his silver-flecked jaw.
I met a lot of women tonight whose eyes lit up when Lavinia introduced me and explained to them that I’m helping Sterling find love. A lot of women who were quick to slide their single status into conversation. I don’t think he realizes how many admirers he had in that ballroom tonight. One of whom in particular, that had an insane amount of energy flowing from her whenever he looked in our direction.
“Lavinia was very complimentary about you.”
I steal a sideways glance at Sterling when he doesn’t respond. His eyes are narrowed as he gazes out of the limo’s windows. His legs are spread wide, and he’s reclined in his seat as if he’s relaxed.
But I don’t miss the way a muscle in his cheek flexes at her name.
“Especially when I told her I wished to donate, and she told me you’d already taken care of it… With three hundred thousand dollars,” I add.
His brow scrunches. “Did I overstep?”
The deep rasp of his voice has delicious, tingling warmth wrapping around me like a cloak.
When I don’t answer, he turns, pinning me with piercing blue eyes.
“Hallie? If I upset you, then I apologize. I could see the charity struck close to your heart, and I wanted to help.”
“And… perhaps you could see the way I reacted when you told me what the minimum donation was?” I wince.
“Not at all.” Sterling deflects smoothly, being the gentleman that Lavinia praises him to be.
“You’re extremely generous.” I stare out of the window, trying to form the words he needs to hear. “I should explain… I’m not as rich as the press articles make me out to be.”
“Hallie, you don’t need to?—”
“I do.” My apprehension melts away at the kindness waiting for me in his eyes. “The rumors went wild after I matched the Prince. And it’s true that I have a long waiting list.” I look at my dress and fiddle with the silk, twisting it between my fingers. “I’ve invested a lot of my fees, that’s all. And the money isn’t available to me?—”
“Do you need help getting it back?”
Sterling’s concerned tone makes me snap my eyes to his. He’s sat forward in his seat, his full attention on me, like he’s trying to gauge whether I’m in some sort of trouble.
“No. I don’t want it back, I?—”
He searches my eyes and exhales, sinking back in his seat, a soft smile lifting his lips.
“You gave it all to charity,” he says.
I bite my lip as he watches me, something warm heating his gaze.
“Yes. I mean, most of it. Some I used to help Mum and Dad. And I invested a little in a rocket scheme. But that was in exchange for children from the charity that helped out family to be invited to see the engines being built. They’ll love it,” I gush.
“I’m sure.” His eyes crinkle at the corners.
“I’m a terrible businesswoman. It’s why I’ve only ever hired short-term help on occasion. I like to do everything myself because that means my overheads are lower and the charity can have more.”
I press my fingertips to my lips and try not to laugh at the way Sterling's looking at me.
“What?”
He shakes his head and loosens his bow tie.
“You’re perfect as you are.”
Heat fizzes in my stomach at his words and I can tell he understands why I do it.
“Creating more love in the world is my legacy to Jenny. Doing it makes me happy. Makes me feel like I’m carrying a part of her with me.”
His eyes soften. He has a way of looking at you and making you feel like you’re the most important person in the world.
That there’s no place he’d rather be than in your company.
“Besides. What would I do with the money? Buy a mansion? Shoes?” I scoff. “I learned a long time ago that those things mean nothing on their own.”
“You’re wise beyond your years. Some people have their whole life to learn that lesson, and they still miss the class,” he says with admiration.
“It’s why I can never fail,” I confess, my throat tightening. “I need to succeed, to maintain my reputation so I can keep donating. I can’t let them down.”
“You could never let anyone down, Hallie,” Sterling says softly.
We hold each other’s eyes, the air crackling between us, filling the interior of the limousine with something that’s so electrically charged it could ignite at any moment, like a sky full of fireworks.
Our driver clears his throat. “There’s an accident ahead, Mr. Beaufort. We could be here awhile.”
Sterling surveys the gridlocked street ahead.
“I see.”
He appears deep in thought as he checks his watch.
“My club is two blocks away.”
“You’re suggesting a nightcap on a Thursday?”
He chuckles at the teasing look I throw at him.
“Only a quick one. You can use your excruciatingly difficult client as an excuse to leave early.”
I shrug. “Naturally. What’s the alternative? Spending all night together?”
The second the words leave my mouth, I clamp it shut. He clears his throat, his eyes darkening.
It was a joke, of course. But one that’s highly inappropriate of me to make. Not to mention, completely out of character.
He’s my client.
“I, um…” I frown as my phone rings in my bag. I pull it out, the light of the screen bright inside the dim backseat.
Rory.
I grimace and send it to voicemail. It’s already vibrating again in my hand as I flick the button to turn it onto silent.
“You know what? That sounds great.” I shove my phone back inside my clutch. “Let’s go and have that drink.”
I manage half a block before goosebumps win over, popping up over my arms and causing my teeth to chatter.
Sterling slides his tuxedo jacket off. He moves in front of me and wraps it around my shoulders, bringing the lapels together. The smooth lining of the jacket brushes over my puckered nipples which makes heat bloom in my cheeks.
“Thank you.” I look at him, but his attention is fixed above my head like he doesn’t want to look at me.
I breathe in his scent, already feeling my goosebumps disappearing. He glances at his jacket, his shoulders softening at the way it swamps me, keeping me warm.
“Of course. I should have offered the moment we stepped out of the car. I’m sorry.”
“You don’t need to apologize. It’s not your fault I didn’t plan ahead and bring a jacket.”
“Ah, but you weren’t expecting to be walking around Manhattan on a Thursday night to go for a drink with an old man.”
“Fifty isn’t old. I mean, look at you.” I tip my head toward his broad chest in his crisp white shirt. The fabric is snug across his biceps, and I rip my eyes away from them before I lose myself to thoughts of how they’d look without the shirt. “You’re a fox,” I add.
He tucks both hands in his pant pockets, his lips twitching as he glances to his feet and then back up in a way that’s full of a boyish charm that makes him look younger.
“A fox?” He arches a brow.
“You know? A silver fox. A hot and sexy older guy? One women would kill to be with. I met enough willing candidates this evening.” I smirk and bump his shoulder with mine as we start to walk again.
“This is the part you tell me you’re setting me up on another date, isn’t it?” He sighs.
“You could try sounding even less thrilled about it?” I tease, but he remains silent.
“Sinclair got home okay. She texted me,” I say, eager to break the sudden tension that’s rolling off him.
He exhales, his jaw loosening. “She did. Denver came for her.”
“Your head of security?”
“That, and a good friend. He’s worked with our family for years now. Since before we lost…”
“I’m sorry,” I whisper.
I pray he knows he isn’t alone. That I’ll walk beside him whenever he needs me to.
“Being a parent,” he continues, “it makes you vulnerable. Opens you up to the possibility of the worst pain imaginable.”
A lump thickens in my throat as my mind flits to Mum and Dad in those first months after we lost Jenny.
Before I can respond, we arrive at a large black door beneath a green awning. It’s flanked by two doormen in black suits.
“Boss. Ma’am,” they both acknowledge as one opens the door for us.
Sterling tips his chin in greeting and places his hand on my lower back as we walk inside. He leads me down a low-lit hallway. The sound of piano music, accompanied by sultry singing floats toward us.
He opens a large ornate door for me, and we walk into the main bar of Seasons.
My senses are immediately flooded.
The space is sumptuous. It smells of rich cognac and wood. Green velvet seats, candlelit booths and intimate tables are spread around the room, beneath crystal chandeliers. All of them face toward a small, raised stage where a grand piano sits, being played beautifully by a young man as an older woman in a glittery dress sits on a tall stool and sings.
Her voice is soothing, bringing a sense of peace and security with it.
“They’re spectacular,” I say to Sterling, unable to tear my eyes away from the lady with short white hair as she sings with grace and elegance.
“They are,” he agrees. “Angela’s retired from Broadway. She sings here Thursday through Saturday. And Vincent plays every night we open. He doesn’t like anyone else touching his piano.”
He leads me to a small table and pulls out the chair for me. I sit and smile as he takes the seat beside mine.
“This place is truly beautiful.” I gaze around.
“I’m glad you like it.”
A server appears and places two glasses down.
“Non-alcoholic,” Sterling assures as I glance at the matching tumblers of deep amber liquid.
“Thank you,” I breathe, shrugging his jacket from my shoulders. The fabric brushes my nipples, making them harden as I slide it off.
Sterling watches as my dress is uncovered and his eyes flash with something, before he pushes his thumb and finger into their sockets and rubs.
“Are you okay?” I ask in concern. “What you said before we came in, about parents and that pain, I… My mum and dad have said the same after losing Jenny. I can’t… I mean…”
He removes his thumb and finger from his eyes, and the way he looks at me has me reaching into his lap and gathering his hand up in mine.
“You can talk to me, is what I’m trying to say. If you want to that is?” I offer.
His gaze drops to my hand wrapped around his with a frown, and a vein in his temple pulses.
“Or not,” I offer with a small smile. “I’ll be your silent companion if you like? And we can just enjoy this beautiful music together.”
I squeeze his hand and let it go.
I look toward the stage and watch Angela and Vincent. The song they’re performing together carries me away to a place where no pain exists. To where there is only peace and calm. I breathe out slowly, lost in every word about love and heartache that passes her scarlet lips.
One song flows into another, and as Vincent plays the opening chords, something warm and a little rough slides over the back of my hand.
Sterling dusts his thumb over my knuckles, back and forth, caressing my skin like the notes of the beautiful melody that surrounds us.
“She was in love with someone else.”
The low confession is barely more than a hoarse exhale from his lips, like if he says it quietly enough, then it never really happened.
“Elaina?”
The depths of his pain swallows me whole as I turn to him, my breath suspended in my throat.
“Yes. My wife .”
He exhales, and his entire body goes slack as he leans back in his chair.
My hand is now clasped inside his. I don’t know when it happened. When he became the one doing the holding, the protecting. But the way he’s keeping ahold of it is as if he needs it to tether himself to reality. As though holding me stops him from becoming lost to the anguish misting his eyes.
He looks toward the stage.
“I know she loved the kids. And she tried to love me. But it wasn’t enough. I wasn’t him.”
My stomach knots.
“Who?”
His eyes are dull as he turns back to me, a heaviness weighing him down in a way he’s never allowed me to witness before.
“Neil.” He scrubs a hand down his face before reaching for his glass with his free hand and having a drink. “Elaina’s first love. Her only one. He was always her first choice, even after all those years.”
“I don’t understand.”
“We never chose each other, Hallie. It was decided for us. Elaina got pregnant when she was eighteen. Neil got out of here as fast as he could once she told him. Coward,” he hisses. “Her parents went crazy because she wasn’t married.”
“Elaina was pregnant?”
Sterling sighs. “Was. She lost the baby not long after the wedding. Her parents saw a problem and mine saw an opportunity. Neil hadn’t been gone a week before they got together and decided the two of us would marry. She wouldn’t be a single mom, and I’d help grow the family business. Elaina’s parents had links to mines in Africa. Our union made Beaufort Diamonds into what it is today. A globally acclaimed brand.”
He places his glass on the table. “She didn’t want it. I only went along with it because of my parents, and because what scared her more than marrying a man she didn’t love, was to be alone with a baby she couldn’t provide for. Her parents were going to disown her. And she and I were friends. It killed me to see her so terrified.”
“God, Sterling, that’s awful.”
“I often wondered whether the stress of it all is what caused her to miscarry not long after. I’d never seen a woman grieve like that before. I didn’t know how to help her. Then she came to me one night, needing comfort, begging me to give her a reason to carry on again. It was the one time. Two people lost together. We were only kids ourselves really. Then nine months later, Sullivan...”
His grip on my hand tightens, and I grab both of our hands.
“I had no idea,” I whisper.
“Not many people know. Elaina’s family kept her first pregnancy a secret. They thought it was a scandal. I’m not telling you so you’ll give me sympathy. I’ve been blessed in my life. With my children. My business. Elaina and I might have been forced together, but we made it work. We had the kids. It wasn’t the magic you talk about. I was never her first choice, but it was real until…”
His eyes cloud over.
“What changed?” I ask softly.
His gaze drops to our entwined hands, and he traces along my knuckles with his thumb. When he speaks again, I feel every sharp edge of his words, tearing at me.
“I found letters after she died. A whole box of them she’d hidden. Neil had gotten back in touch with her. For months she’d been meeting up with him… fucking him in hotels… and in our house. In our own damn bed. Telling him she’d never stopped loving him after all these years. There were photos of them together, arms around one another like they were on honeymoon without a care in the world. But do you know what hurt the most? More than the lies? The cheating?”
I shake my head, unable to speak as my eyes sting with tears.
“It’s the way she looked at him. The fact that after years together, having our children, all that we’d been through, she never once looked at me like that.”
“Like what?” I choke, my heart breaking for him as he looks at me with shining eyes.
He smiles sadly. “Like everything started and ended with me. Like I was at the center of every dream she’d ever had.”
“Sterling…” I lean closer, wishing I could erase the pain from his eyes and make it go away forever.
“I shouldn’t be angry about it. Or hurt. I loved her for being the mother of our children. And she was a damn good mother. And the truth is, I never looked at her like that, either.”
He looks deep into my eyes, and his soften, as though sharing his deepest thoughts with me has brought him a sense of peace.
“I didn’t love her the way she should have been loved. The way she must have felt when she was with him. I should have known as soon as the arguments increased that she was unhappy with me. But I thought it’d pass, the same way it always did whenever she would pick fights about nothing. I knew I wasn’t enough and that she needed more. I should have told her it was okay if she wanted to leave. She’d have never left the kids, but I should have told her she had that option if it would have made her happy. It’s as much my fault as it was hers.”
“No.” I shake my head. “She lied to you, she cheated on you. She should have talked to you as soon as she heard from him. You… you…” I splutter, my voice cracking with emotion. “She hurt you even more than she needed to. And you never got the chance to hear it from her.”
“Don’t worry about me.” His eyes roam over my face. “I’m a grown man. But now you know the truth. I’m a fifty-year-old who’s never been in the kind of love that you work with every day. My chance has passed. You being here with me, it’s holding you back. I’m holding you back.”
“You’re not.”
“Hallie,” he murmurs. “Listen to me. Sinclair knows everything. So does Sullivan. They were there with Uncle Mal when I found the letters. It’s why Sinclair had this notion in her head about me dating again. She’s like you. She believes in magic. And that’s okay. In fact, it’s beautiful, and I hope neither of you ever lose that. But she’s wasting her time focusing on me. And so are you.”
“No. You’re wrong.”
Sterling sighs, dropping his gaze to his drink.
“You’re wrong,” I repeat firmly. “Everyone should experience that magic. The soul-altering connection.”
He lifts his tired eyes to mine, but there’s a faint glimmer of hope in them, hiding deep down. He just needs help bringing it to the surface.
“You’re going to say including me, aren’t you?” he says.
“Especially you!”
I lift our joined hands and press them against the silk of my dress, over my heart.
“I’m so sorry,” I say, my chest rising and falling with deep, emotional breaths. The warmth of his hand seeps through my dress and spreading over my skin. “I’m here now. And I promise you I’ll help you find your soulmate. I’ll do everything I can to bring you the love that you deserve.”
Sterling’s eyes drop to his hand against my chest, and he sucks in a breath.
“Hallie.”
The hoarse rasp of my name from his lips has guilt filling my every pore. I’ve allowed myself to become distracted. Too dazzled by the new friendship and things I have in common with him to be focused on why I’m here.
To give him what he’s never had. Someone who looks at him the way he described. The way he deserves.
To find him love.
“I’ll find her. I won’t leave you until I find her.”
“What if that means you have to stay forever?” he says.
Tingles erupt over my skin. He must feel my shudder because his pupils dilate.
“I won’t leave until you’re happy. I promise you.”