Chapter 20
Braun
He’d nuzzled and kissed and stroked his way through our shower, but once the water was off, I could see his mind whirling again.
“I didn’t see you shift.” Blinking as I wrapped his towel around him, Dorian frowned again. “That was the plan.”
“Are you saying you’re not ready for me to get dressed yet or is this about that whole big and bossy thing?” I couldn’t resist teasing him because it got the sexiest glares and huffs from him. “I guess that’s better than big and dumb.”
As he gave me startled wide eyes, I laughed. “The last time I tried to date a human…ages ago, Wolfchen…he called me a himbo.”
It’d taken some googling to realize I should’ve been offended by that.
Dorian’s mouth fell open. “What?”
Clearly he’d run into that expression too. “Somehow the humans have gotten it into their heads that being large and nice is a bad thing.”
“That’s insane.” Giving his head a shake, he frowned again. “I knew you were smart and sexy and…and competent before you’d even started screaming into the phone. You weren’t even rude to that crazy couple who were arguing about water.”
That was one marriage that wasn’t going to last.
Unlike my mating with my sexy math teacher.
“Thank you.” Giving him a quick peck, I ran the towel over his head before wiping away the last few stray drops of water trailing down his sexy chest. “Would you like to see me shift now?”
There wouldn’t be a better time to do it, especially since we had privacy just in case he panicked. I didn’t think that was likely since he’d already seen Emeric but I was just a bit larger and emotions weren’t always logical.
Whatever he was thinking had him standing straighter and looking serious. “Yes. I need to see my mate in both his forms, and on a selfish note, I don’t want anyone to think I was too scared to do it. Someone is going to ask.”
Damn it. My mother was going to be the first to ask because she was the reason my ability to set boundaries was so fucked.
“I think that’s a very practical reason to want to see it.” And it’d keep him focused on logic, not fear. “We also don’t want you startled if I have to shift unexpectedly.”
Nodding slowly, he snuggled closer to me as I wrapped the towel around him. “Like protecting Emeric or something like that. You have something attacking alligators.”
Another very practical reason to see it.
“Very true.” Giving him a quick peck, I nodded toward the bedroom. “How about we get you dressed and you sit down on the bed?”
It would be a softer surface just in case he fainted.
“Okay.” Dorian was doing his best to project calm, but he was slowly letting out a deep breath as he stood straighter. “That’s a good plan.”
The fact that he wasn’t huffing and giving me pushback for something said how distracted he was. “Great.”
“Yes. I’m going to see my mate shift and it’s great.” That had him blinking again, probably realizing how odd that sentence was, but I picked him up to distract him. “Hey.”
Chuckling, I flashed him a grin I knew would heat him up. “Don’t act shocked. You’ve been imagining me fucking you up against a wall since the first time you saw me.”
Okay, maybe not the first few seconds but he’d blushed and had gotten all wide-eyed, so he’d been thinking about something fun.
“That’s. I wouldn’t have. You.” He stopped stuttering out a response as I set him on the bed, but his reaction was adorable.
“Naughty little slut.” Kissing his cheek, I shook my head and tossed my own towel on the bed. “That’s why you looked so distracted.”
He was a sexy purple color as I grabbed his pajamas off the end of the bed and started getting him dressed.
Since he was still so distracted, I kept teasing him as I slipped his shirt over his head.
“Were you imagining being bent over the counter? Kneeling behind the counter and worshiping my knot? If you’ve got exhibitionist fantasies, we’ll have to satisfy that another way, Wolfchen. ”
That had his brain coming back online as he blinked at me like an owl. “I did nothing of the sort. You were huge and glaring at me. I was…I was shocked and worried about Emeric.”
“That might’ve been part of it, but don’t forget, I could smell how turned on I made you, my sexy mate.” And the purple color was back. That was fun. “You were definitely imagining naughty things.”
Very naughty judging by his expression.
“I…” Barely shaking his head, he didn’t seem to notice my putting on his pants until I had him lean back on the bed. “I’m not a child.”
“Nope, but this is still fun because I like taking care of you.” That shut him up and had him frowning at me like I’d given him something new to think about.
Probably a scene from a dirty book, knowing my naughty boy.
“You said you’ll still be you when you shift and I know that because of Emeric.” Dorian seemed to decide that switching topics was a safer plan. “Is there anything I need to know?”
Not to panic?
“Not that I can think of?” I’d never changed in front of someone who’d never seen it before, though. Hmm. “I think I need to tell you that I’ve never changed in front of someone as their first time before.”
Okay.
His mouth dropped open.
That’d been a good call.
“Never?” Before I could respond, he kept going. “I’m going to be your first?”
“I know what to do. It’s instinct and magic, not rocket science.” Why was that so surprising? “I’ve been waiting for a lot of things for my mate.”
I’d known he was out there somewhere, so why would I go shifting for random humans?
“I guess…I mean, I know you’ve had a life before me.” Blinking slowly, he shrugged. “I wouldn’t have gotten upset at something like that. You’re a grown man with a past. You just happen not to be human, so there’s another side to your life that’s very important.”
“That other side is for my mate.” Duh. “I wouldn’t do something like that just willy-nilly.”
The expression made him smile but he nodded and sat up looking serious and adorable. “You’re right. I’m sorry for being surprised. I’ve just been telling myself that it’s a perfectly normal part of life and I wasn’t thinking.”
“Thank you.” Like I’d shift around any random date. Leaning forward, I kissed his cheek before stepping back. “You’re my mate.”
His smile peeked out again. “And you were waiting for me.”
“Because you’re special.” He’d figure that out eventually. “Ready?”
Taking another deep breath he thought was subtle, my slightly nervous mate nodded and put his hands in his lap. “Ready.”
He wouldn’t get any more ready than he already was, so I moved to the middle of the room and closed my eyes to give him privacy as I let the shift take over.
One of the books I’d skimmed described the shift in horrifying language, like they could feel every bone changing, and it’d sounded beyond painful.
I’d spent a few slightly drunk chapters hollering at the page, calling the author names I probably should’ve apologized for.
“Wow.”
I wanted to smile at the awe in Dorian’s voice, but he caught me mid-shift and then it just didn’t look the same when I finally appeared for him again.
There would’ve been a flash of light and a swirl of magic that one pup had called a Tinkerbell tornado, but it didn’t seem to have frightened my curious mate.
No. He’d already slid off the bed by the time I sat down on all fours and was slowly inching closer.
“I thought Emeric was big when I first saw him but then I saw his paws and I realized he should’ve been bigger but you match your paws and that’s just amazing.
” The only thing that stopped him from sharing every thought he had was the need to breathe, but that didn’t take him long.
“You’d have to be bigger than a regular wolf, though, because your brain probably needs to be bigger, and magic just seems to make everything larger because I’m pretty sure that explains why so many kids in my classes are ridiculously tall. ”
Probably.
At the very least shifter species ran larger than regular humans and he probably had at least one Bigfoot kid in his class. They were definitely oversized no matter if they were cloaking themselves in a human form or in their natural one.
I’d have to point that out at a later date, though, because he was slowly crawling around me on all fours, studying me like I was a statue in a museum.
“I never felt short until a freshman towered over me and asked me why humans were always so short. I’m not sure what he is but I just explained that genes worked in interesting ways and it was almost like magic.
” Dorian’s finger barely brushed the tip of my tail before he started inching around me again.
“He and the kids he was with laughed but it didn’t give me an opening to figure out what he is. ”
Dorian’s slightly smart-ass responses were probably how he’d gotten hired to begin with. I was starting to think they’d all assumed he was a human in the know that just wasn’t used to talking about it or something close to that.
“I should’ve realized someone was tripping me, though. I’m usually smarter than that.” As he got back around to my front, he swallowed back whatever he’d been going to say next. “Wow. I can see you in your eyes.”
Blinking several times as I tried not to laugh, he sat back on his ass and frowned. “You know what I meant.”
Yep.
“So stop giggling.”
That had him going quiet again.
“I knew you were laughing inside.” He went back to doing his startled blinking before inching so close I could feel his breath on my muzzle. “That’s very strange. I can feel you stronger in this form.”
Mates and magic…they were both amazing and not always easy to explain.
“Can I touch you?” Cocking his head, he looked down the line of my body. “You said I could touch you when you were looking human but I should’ve asked about this part of you too.”
Nodding, I did my best to move slowly and not startle him just in case. His breath hitched but his heartbeat slowed down after only a moment of racing. “You can understand me. Yes. I knew that and that was why I asked. I got Emeric to move his ears and tail to communicate nonverbally with me.”
He was brilliant and that was sexy as fuck…so was the way he moaned as he ran one hand over my head. “This is so amazing.”
Oh yes.
“You’re so soft but I can feel your muscles.” Inching closer again, he was pressed tight against me as he wrapped his arms around me. “You’re so big.”
I was going to be big in another place if he didn’t stop wiggling against me when he smelled so good. It wasn’t arousal but it was pleasure and happy emotions I couldn’t quite define. Pleasing my mate would always feel good to me, but I was hoping sitting would keep him from noticing that part.
“It was very good we did this privately. Yes. I need to be able to look relaxed and completely accepting, not like a kid who’s just gotten the best Christmas present ever.
” Me being the best present ever had me trying not to lick him and climb all over him like an excited pup.
“I’m going to look like a good partner and a confident mate. ”
Had his parents told him that good partners didn’t hallucinate imaginary creatures?
Slowly lowering my chest to the ground, I took him with me and laid my head on his lap as he sat down. “Oh, this is…”
Nice or something good judging by the way he sighed and started petting my head. “You’re beautiful, Braun.”
Rumbling softly, I nuzzled my head against him and tried to let him feel how relaxed and happy I was with him. Whatever he felt had him letting out a long breath and I could feel his body relaxing. “I knew you weren’t teasing me about being…well, not human…but it’s very nice to see I was right.”
Because he’d spent a lot of his life having everyone doubt his sanity.
Leaning back against the end of the bed, he sighed and started petting me in a slow, almost hypnotic rhythm.
“I’m going to learn what everyone is and how to tell them apart.
I learned early not to ask my parents why people at the store were different or why my friend at school blinked and sometimes had different eyes.
But I had so many questions. I didn’t like making them worry, though. ”
All I could do was rumble louder and wrap myself tighter around him. He needed me in this form to be able to keep sharing, but a large part of me wanted hands and a human body to hold him better.
His soft chuckle and the way his scent started shifting again said I was making the right call, though.
“They took me to a therapist that was sadly very human even though one of her business partners wasn’t.
I’m not sure what the sparkly people are, but when it was clear I couldn’t talk to her without it being difficult, I lied and said I was playing a game with some of the kids at school. ”
His sigh said he hadn’t liked that at all.
“For some reason asking for the other therapist made everyone think I had a crush on her?” The mix of shock and horror in his voice had me snorting out a laugh. “She was forty if a day and a woman.”
And clearly he’d known he was already gay at that point.
“My parents were doing their best but everyone around me was useless.” His long sigh and the way he shook his head made it clear he thought they were all well-meaning idiots.
“That was one of the reasons I wanted to be a teacher, but it needs to be more socially acceptable to ask people what species they are.”
Sometimes I agreed with him…especially at solstice events and things like that.
“I hadn’t found anyone I knew I could trust without sounding insane until I met Emeric and then you.” His soft smile and the way he was petting my head made me want to hug him tight. “He was important enough I knew I had to find him help even if you thought I was crazy.”
His huff let me know something ridiculous and adorable was coming.
“But you just had to be you and the cranky man was nowhere around.” Yep, ridiculous. “Emeric remembered him but you were sexy and serious and I had no idea if you were the same thing as the cranky man who was there before. I don’t remember his name. It was something interesting.”
He frowned for a moment before shaking his head. “Never mind. But you were you and not him and now you’re my mate.”
Dorian’s expression turned serious again before he poked me. “Yes, you’re real.”
Eventually he’d get used to that, but until he did, I’d keep reminding him that he wasn’t insane and I was his mate.