Chapter 4 #3
Noticing her consternation, Lord Fitzwilliam added, “To be fair to the pater, I haven’t done much for him to admire. I don’t seem to have any interest in or aptitude for the things that Father deems acceptable occupations for a son of the Marquess of Huntingdon.”
“My mother will think it such a shame that Lord Alfred has grown to be so like his own parents, so judgmental. She has a very warm heart and is my staunchest supporter in everything I do! With such a difficult father, you must miss your mother very much.”
“My mother.” He paused, ducking his head so that the brim of his tall beaver hat shaded his eyes.
“She was the most sought-after heiress of her generation, not only due to her impeccable breeding and generous dowry—she was extraordinarily well liked. No party was considered complete without the presence of the Marchioness of Huntingdon! And she did not consider her day complete without her attendance at those parties. She basked in the adoration of her friends and admirers, who were legion. It must have been a sad letdown to come home to a husband who thought her frivolous and silly. She was certainly at home as little as possible.”
Caroline’s heart ached as Lord Fitzwilliam’s lips twisted in a rueful half-smile.
“I believe I’ve mentioned already that my own father’s parents were, by all accounts, absolute Tartars—more concerned with their own consequence than anything else, including their children.
I know Father has tried to do better by us than his parents did by him.
But I’m afraid I remind him strongly of my mother,” he confessed in a low voice before smiling in a way that seemed forced.
“Probably he’s right; I am quite like her.
Nothing more to me than fun and larks and idle gaiety. What else is there in life, after all?”
In the short time Caroline had spent in the so-called Polite World, she had observed that family relations appeared to be quite different from the loving care and interested attention she had been lucky enough to enjoy with her parents.
She understood, intellectually, that what Lord Fitzwilliam was describing wasn’t uncommon.
It still made her want to pull Lord Alfred aside and speak to him very severely about his treatment of his younger son.
“Lord Fitzwilliam. Whatever your father’s feelings for and about his late wife, he should be able to look at you and see you for who you are,” Caroline told him flat out, in case no one had ever mentioned it to him before. “If he cannot, he is the lesser for it. Not you.”
For a moment, his stormy eyes met hers and she caught a glimpse of strong emotion roiling in the silvery depths. But he mastered himself almost at once, with the speed of someone whose feelings had never been much indulged or even recognized.
“Fitz,” he said breezily.
“I beg your pardon?”
“Fitz. It’s what my friends call me, Lord Fitzwilliam being something of a mouthful. You should call me Fitz.”
A gusty wind swept down Rotten Row, swirling dead leaves about their feet, but Caroline felt warm all the way to her toes. “I suppose this means you count me as a…friend.”
He grinned. “I suppose it does.”
A tiny frisson skimmed up her spine, a thrill that made her catch her breath. For some reason, her mother’s words about friendship being the best foundation for a relationship flitted through her head.
Friendship…might lead to love.
No, that was preposterous, she told herself. She was not here to fall in love herself; it would not be at all rational. This particular friendship would lead only two people down the aisle—her mother and his father.
“I haven’t had many friends before,” Caroline told him. “I might not be very good at it at first. But I am a very quick study!”
“You’re already better at it than most people I know.
” His voice had gone a bit gruff, and he cleared his throat before continuing.
“Have you noticed that there are some people one can be acquainted with all one’s life without ever really knowing them?
And then there are others who feel like intimates less than a day after first inveigling one into a conspiracy behind a potted palm. As it were."
Caroline smiled, pleased. “There are circumstances that are known to create intimacy quite quickly. Sharing a secret, for instance.”
“Mm. Or a kiss.”
The low purr of his voice flooded her with heat as the memory of his mouth upon hers crashed over her like a wave.
For a moment, she forgot that they were walking along a crowded path in a public park, in full view of half the Ton.
All she wanted was to throw her arms around him and tilt her face up for another kiss.
He was thinking about it too, she could see that very well from the hungry gleam in his gray eyes and the predatory edge to his smile. Caroline didn’t feel like prey, though. She was no rabbit to run from the wolf. No, she wanted to chase him down herself, pounce and bear him down to the ground.
She pictured it. All that leashed power splayed out beneath her, hers to touch and explore. Caroline’s lips parted and she nearly moaned aloud.
The strength of her own response startled her. What was she doing? She needed to keep her purpose to the forefront of her mind at all times. And her purpose was not to experience more of the pleasure that Lord Fitzwilliam—Fitz—was so capable of providing.
No. Her purpose was to see her mother safely and happily wed to a good second husband, so that Caroline was free to return to Scotland and her work.
And the fact was, she no longer felt certain that Lord Alfred was the man for the job.
As though he could read her mind, Fitz cast her a sidelong glance and said, “Truly, I thank you for your kind words, but do not judge my father too harshly. My mother died when I was thirteen, my brother and sister not much older. Many gentlemen in his position would have left our care to governesses, tutors, and Eton, but Father kept us with him. He holds us to high standards, but he holds himself even more accountable. He is a good man, and I would like to finally see him happy.”
Torn, Caroline bit her lip. “I suppose it would be a bit premature to abandon the experiment so soon. Very well. I am willing to give Lord Alfred another chance.”
“He may surprise us all. He certainly surprised me earlier when he waded into the river to rescue your mother. This, from a man who once lectured me for an hour on the state of my Hessians!”
“The one who has surprised me is my mother. I did not expect her to be so resistant. Only the fact that you acted so swiftly in offering an escort home gave your father a chance to spend more than thirty seconds with her.”
Sidestepping round a slow-moving chaise, Fitz gave a thoughtful hum. “Yes. The park is unfortunately quite large, and it’s easy to avoid people one doesn’t wish to see. What we need is a situation your mama cannot escape so simply.”
“I had hoped that after being reacquainted in a way that reminded them of their first meeting, we could simply turn up at the same balls and your father would pursue her. But now what?” Caroline frowned.
“That feels like leaving a great deal to chance. And I admit, I do not relish the prospect of subjecting myself to an endless round of parties as dull and silly as the one last night.”
“Oh come, I can’t have you abusing our charming hostess so.” Fitz’s grin was infectious. He waggled his brows. “Some parts of last evening were dashed exciting, in my view.”
Caroline cocked her head, considering. “Yes, I quite liked the kissing. But I don’t believe it would be wise to do any more of it. It’s very distracting.”
“Just as you wish, of course,” Fitz replied courteously, and Caroline felt strangely deflated. Not that she wished for him to make a fuss and argue that they ought to embark on some passionate affair when it was clearly a terrible idea, but for him to agree so readily to never kissing her again…
Evidently noticing her frown, Fitz adopted a solicitous tone. “Fear not, Miss Quick. I believe I have a solution to our current difficulty. Leave it with me.”
He flashed that smile again, the one full of mischief and shared secrets and the kind of intimacy Caroline had never experienced in her many travels with her parents.
Caroline noted the racing of her heart and the prickle of awareness deep in her body, and she began to worry that there was no neat solution to the difficulty she currently faced.