Chapter Nine
“What’s going on, Dad?” Finn asked cautiously.
“You going to let me in? Coffee would be nice,” Finn Sr. added with a look of pure annoyance.
Finn swallowed a sarcastic reply. Over the years, Finn had learned that getting snarky in return every time his dad gave him attitude never went anywhere good.
He just let it roll off his back and saved his energy for the battles that mattered.
Sadly, with his dad, there were always too many of those.
“Sure. Come on in.” His dad entered the house and Finn shut the door. “This way.” He turned for the kitchen.
“Not a bad place,” his dad said from behind him. “You ought to put in the effort to fix it up right, though. A man’s home shows the world—”
“‘The extent of his success.’ I remember, Dad.”
In the kitchen, Finn Sr. took a chair at the table. The silence was deafening as Finn got the coffee brewing.
At last, his dad spoke again. “So you have a cat now?” It was nothing short of an accusation.
Finn glanced over his shoulder to see Tom dart away into the great room. He smiled at the sight. “There are two. That one is Tom. They’re not mine, though.”
Kenzie appeared then, fully dressed, with Ed in her arms. She paused in the large open arch to the dining room and great room. “They’re mine,” she said, and gave Ed a kiss on the top of his head. “How are you, Mr. Mon-ahan?”
“Kenzie.” Finn’s dad actually blinked. “Kenzie Osborne.”
“The one and only,” she replied, nuzzling Ed, who purred loudly and nuzzled Kenzie right back. “It’s…so nice to see you, Mr. Monahan.” She said the words flatly, without a trace of warmth. And then she turned to Finn. “You sure about the cats?”
“Absolutely.”
“Alright, then. I have to get going.” She dipped to set Ed on the floor. He zipped off in the direction Tom had gone. Kenzie rose with remarkable grace considering how pregnant she was.
Finn went to her. “Drive carefully.” He bent for a kiss.
She tipped her mouth up to him and smiled against his lips. “I will.” And then she turned to his dad once more. “Have a nice visit, Mr. Monahan.”
His dad regarded her coolly. “Please. We’re all adults now. Call me Finn.”
“Certainly.” Icicles dripped from the single word. “Goodbye.” She turned for the door.
“Be right back, Dad,” Finn said flatly. He steeled himself for a rude remark.
But for once, Finn Sr. had the grace to keep his mouth shut. He granted Finn a curt nod.
“I’m sorry,” Finn said quietly, when he caught up with Kenzie at the door. “I had no idea he would show up here.”
“Don’t be sorry,” she spoke softly, for Finn’s ears alone. “He is who he is and that is in no way your fault.” And then she kissed him. He felt the tension in his shoulders ease as she smiled against his lips.
A moment later, she was out the door. He watched her drive away and then returned to the kitchen, where his father was waiting.
“My God. Kenzie Osborne? And she’s pregnant again, isn’t she? I’m assuming it’s yours…”
“No, Dad. It’s not. But I wish it was.”
“Well, whose is it then? Does she even—”
“Dad. Take a breath. Be very careful what you say next.”
Finn Sr. blinked. But then he went right on talking. “What were you thinking to start in with her again? Why?”
Finn gave himself a slow count of ten before attempting a reply.
Eventually, in a careful, even tone, he explained, “Because she’s the best thing that ever happened to me.
I blew it fifteen years ago and walked away from her.
But I’ve grown up since then. Now, I know the value of what Kenzie and I had together and I want another chance with her. ”
“By God, Finn. You’re making no sense at all.”
“Wrong. You’re not listening. But then, you never do.”
“Please. You were eighteen with your whole life ahead of you. There is no reason for you to blame yourself for what happened then. That girl was holding you back and—”
“Kenzie never held me back.” Finn made his voice ice-cold. “And please keep in mind that this is my house and you are a guest here.”
His dad wore a look of infinite weariness. “Whatever you say, Finn. And you’re right. I didn’t come here at six in the morning to talk about the, uh, past.”
“Good.” Finn went to the coffee maker, poured them each a cup and carried the cups to the table. “Just black, right?”
“Correct, thank you.”
Finn took a seat, too. “Alright then. Whatever you came here to say, I’m listening.”
“I told you via voicemail that we need to talk.” His father scowled.
“You didn’t call back. And as it happens, I have a meeting in Billings, of all places.
One of my top clients. I flew in there last night.
And since it’s only a couple of hours away, I got up at four and drove here.
I have to be back in Tampa this afternoon, but I thought we could talk, that I could make you face what you really want.
Make you get out there and create the career we both know you could have.
You’ve got a chance in a million here. You could be the next—”
“Stop. Please. You said all that before. And I said that I like my life here in Montana and I have no interest in becoming a professional football coach. When a man tells you who he is and what he wants, believe him.”
His dad groaned and slapped the table. “You’re just afraid to fail again—and son, you didn’t fail, not really. It was an injury that ruined everything. As a coach, you won’t run that risk.”
Finn took a moment to let all that sink in and found himself wondering, Am I afraid? Was that the real reason he didn’t buy what his dad kept trying so hard to sell him?
No. It wasn’t. Finn felt sure of that. “I am not afraid, Dad.”
Blue eyes blazing, Finn Sr. leaned in. “Then what is it?”
“It’s simple. I just don’t want it, Dad.
I don’t know how many ways to tell you that I like who I am and I like what I do and I’m happy, right here in my hometown.
” Tom chose that moment to leap onto his boot and attack it like a chew toy.
“Come here, tough guy.” He scooped up the cat, gave him a quick cuddle and set him on his lap.
Purring, the kitten tucked his paws and closed his eyes.
“I just can’t get through to you,” his dad said angrily.
“Oh, you got through to me. I understand you perfectly. I just don’t want what you want for me.
I don’t want to be like you. I’m not some eighteen-year-old kid who hasn’t figured out what his life’s about yet.
I’ve been in the NFL. I’ve battled my way back from a serious injury—and then got injured again.
Now I’ve chosen a new path for myself. And I like my path, Dad. I like it a lot.”
“What are you talking about? I only ever wanted the very best for you.”
“No. Uh-uh. You never tried to help me figure out what I wanted. You just pushed me without mercy to be what you wanted me to be.”
“Of course I did. Because you had what it took. Because you could have been the best of the best.”
“No. Wrong. It was all about you, Dad. About your son being an NFL superstar and how that reflected on you. At one time, I honestly believed I wanted the same thing you wanted. But now? Now I’m home, Dad. And I really like it here. I’m not going anywhere.”
“You’re a fool, then.” His dad pushed back his chair and stood. “Or maybe you’re not being honest with yourself. Are you sure you’re not simply afraid to keep fighting, afraid to pull yourself together and do what it takes to make it to the top?” His dad glared down at him.
Finn met that glare without flinching. “You really are messed up, Dad. You know that? It’s sad and it’s painful. But I am not you. I am not a reflection of you. I have my own life and I like my life. A lot.”
“I don’t know what else to say to say to you.” Finn Sr. glanced down at the expensive watch on his tanned wrist and added tightly, “I have a long drive and a plane to catch.”
“Of course, you do. I’ll walk you to the door.”
* * *
Once the old man was gone, Finn fixed himself some breakfast. A little while later, he put the kittens in their carrier and took them to Kenzie’s house.
That afternoon at practice, he felt kind of low. He kept remembering the crap his dad had laid on him, kept resurrecting childhood memories. As a kid, he’d tried so hard to please the unpleasable Finn Sr. Rarely had he made the grade.
He knew he shouldn’t let his father get to him. But right now, Finn Sr. was definitely taking up space in his head.
At practice Barrett asked him if something was wrong. Finn played it off as exhaustion, said he’d been working long hours and felt kind of tired.
Later, in the parking lot, he found Kenzie waiting beside his truck, leaning back against it, her arms folded over her ever-expanding baby bump. “Okay,” she said at the sight of him. “You need to follow me to my house. We’ll talk about whatever went down with your dad.”
He didn’t want to talk about it. He just wanted to move on. “Aw, Kenz. I’m kind of beat.”
“Oh, I bet you are. That man is a menace. Just being in the room with him for a minute wore me out. You need to follow me home.” She gave him that look, the one that said there would be hell to pay if he didn’t.
He gave in. Because he couldn’t refuse her anything.
At her place, she poured him a stiff whiskey and soda. They sat in her living room by the fire, the cats cuddled on the sofa between them, and he gave her the play-by-play of his dad’s visit.
Once he’d finished telling all, she said, “I honestly have no idea how your mother puts up with him.”
“Was that a question?” he asked in a teasing voice.
“It was mostly hypothetical, but if you actually have an answer, please share.”
He scratched Ed behind his little ear and chuckled when the kitten rolled to his back and wrapped all four paws around Finn’s hand. As for Tom, he got up, yawned and jumped down from the sofa.
Finn tried to explain. “My mom’s true-hearted. She sticks by her commitments through thick and thin. And it helps that my dad’s always working. She really doesn’t have to deal with him all that much. She’s free to pursue good works and she does.”