Chapter Fourteen
A few mornings later, Bayleigh settled herself in front of her computer and hit the link to bring up the video conference app. This wasn’t a counseling appointment, however; it was a job interview. The woman she was interviewing sounded perfect for Belle Vista. She was a registered nurse who’d taken classes in animal-assisted therapy and was looking for a career change.
She smoothed her hair and pinched her cheeks to counter the pallor that clung to them. She had no one to keep her up at night now, since Lucas’s departure. She could sleep as much as she wanted, yet she still had no energy.
Despite their agreement, he’d texted her to let her know he’d arrived home safely. Her delight at seeing his name pop up was disturbing to her. A bit late to find out that flings weren’t her thing.
A chime sounded as another screen opened and the woman’s face appeared in front of her. She had sleek black hair and cheekbones that could cut glass.
“Hello! I’m Bayleigh Sutherland. You must be Chandra Benoit. Thank you for meeting with me today.”
“The pleasure is mine,” Chandra replied.
They made small talk for a few moments and Bayleigh was impressed with the young woman’s ease and confidence.
“Can I ask why you’re interested in working for us?” Bayleigh asked.
The title was wrangler, but the job description encompassed everything from helping riders on horseback, to mucking out stalls, to taking the lead in medical emergencies. Having an RN on staff would provide Belle Vista clients with security and definitely raise their profile, but would it be enough challenge for such an accomplished woman?
“First,” Chandra said, “I’ve got a cousin in Grand—Tracey McKenzie. Do you know her?”
Bayleigh thought quickly back to the group of parents who’d visited Belle Vista. “Tall woman with black hair? And a little girl named Summer?”
“That’s her,” Chandra said. “Her family tree’s got a branch in Ireland. Mine’s got a branch in Kenya. I’d love to live near her again.”
Grand seemed to be a place that fostered family connections, whatever form they took.
“That’s the personal side,” Chandra said. “As for the professional side, I spent five years in a level-two trauma center. It was great, breakneck pace most of the time, excellent teamwork, top-quality facility. I was charge nurse for the last three.”
Her résumé indicated the largest hospital in Billings.
“Then, the pandemic hit. We handled it. We had to. But it took a toll.” She was quiet for a moment. “I burned out, badly. By the time the worst was over, I knew I was done.”
Bayleigh nodded. COVID-19 had been hellacious on health-care providers. If Chandra was in the emergency room, she’d have worked double and triple shifts, seen people fighting for breath, even dying before they were able to be seen. She’d have witnessed people denying the very disease that was killing them, trying home remedies and random recipes touted on social media and refusing the medical treatments that were the only hope of saving them.
“I’ve always had a horse,” Chandra continued. “Riding was my salvation during that time. I needed to be outside, in the open air, away from people.”
Bayleigh thought about how riding was Lucas’s escape when life threatened to overwhelm him.
“I did some volunteering for equine centers. Took some classes, as you see on my résumé. I discovered that I love helping people in this way. The stakes are lower, but I have the opportunity to get to know the people I work with, something you don’t get in the ER.”
“That makes sense,” Bayleigh said. “I like everything I’m hearing, Chandra. But you’ve seen what I’m able to offer. It’s a huge reduction from your previous pay.”
“I know.” Chandra nodded thoughtfully. “But there are things more important than money.” She bit her full lip. “Full disclosure... I’ve had a few jobs since leaving the hospital. The last one ended... badly.”
Bayleigh’s heart sank. It had seemed too good to be true.
“I appreciate your honesty,” she said. “Can you tell me about it?”
“I was working for an outdoor tour guide.” Chandra’s expression went inward. “There was an accident in the backcountry and... a woman suffered a spinal cord injury.”
“Wait,” Bayleigh said. This sounded too familiar. “Were you working for Landry Adventures?”
Chandra’s head came up, her eyes wide with surprise. “Yes. How did you know?” Then her face fell. “The media reports were incomplete and scandal mongers had a field day with it. I shouldn’t be surprised that you’ve heard about it.”
“It’s not that.” Bayleigh wasn’t sure how much to say, but Chandra had caught her off guard. “I know Lucas Landry.”
“You do?” A smile came across Chandra’s dark features. “He’s wonderful, isn’t he? He was a great boss. I miss working for him. This has been so awful for him. How do you know Lucas?”
“Belle Vista has a few rental cabins. Lucas was in town recently, and he stayed in one.” She swallowed. “Yes, he seemed very nice.”
“How was he?” Chandra leaned into the camera. “Was he okay? The family of the injured girl has been awful to him. I’ve been worried but he’s cut himself off from most of us. I think he needed distance from the trauma but I’m afraid he’s also not getting the support he needs.”
Bayleigh thought about the brief glimpses of pain she’d seen in Lucas. Her assumption had been that it was mostly physical discomfort caused by his muscle contractures. Had she misread him? Had their week together been more about finding comfort in another human in a time when he was at his lowest?
“He seemed... okay. He didn’t talk much about it.”
Well done, BS. So much for a master’s in psychology.
Had she been so focused on her own needs that she’d missed the signs of deeper trauma in Lucas?
He’d shared the facts, but he’d left out the level of distress. Why? She was a stranger, a safe place. Surely he knew he could trust her.
“Is he connected to Grand?” Chandra asked. “I’d love to keep in touch with him. If he visits now and then, that makes this job even more appealing to me.”
“I’m not sure,” Bayleigh said. “I think he was here visiting family, but I could be wrong.”
She couldn’t share aspects of Lucas’s personal life with Chandra. She had to appear to be the boss, the host, the owner of this business, who’d simply been chatting with a paying guest.
She took the conversation back to the remaining points she wanted to touch on during the interview, and when they ended the call, she knew she’d be drawing up a job offer for Chandra Benoit. The woman had so many skills. She was personable, passionate.
And she knew Lucas.
Which meant that maybe, she’d be another reason for Lucas to come out to Belle Vista.
Bayleigh closed down her computer, crossed her arms on her desk and lowered her head, wishing she could crawl back into bed already. She was sad for whatever burdens Lucas Landry carried so silently on his broad shoulders, burdens that gave him more pain than any disability could. Had he found more than physical comfort with her? Had she, in any way, helped ease those burdens?
She hoped so.
She hoped she’d get another chance.
If she did, she wouldn’t let him get away without sharing more of himself.
*
Lucas spent the next month racking up legal bills. Leila left regular voice mail messages about when he’d be ready to go to Chinook with her to find Heather Hudson but he didn’t respond. He had bigger problems. Landry Adventures was dissolving like tissue paper in water. Soon, it would be as if it had never existed. The Schneiders hadn’t yet filed suit, but according to social media, it was coming any day. His lawyer had no such confirmation, but they had to be prepared, nevertheless. Lucas hated to drag his former crew into the fray again, as they’d already moved on. At least the Schneiders weren’t targeting them.
He missed them. Chandra, his head wrangler and registered nurse, was thinking of leaving Colorado. He couldn’t blame her. Last he heard, Brodie, his chef, was getting into the upscale food truck scene. Steve was cleaning stalls at a children’s riding camp.
On Sunday evening, he headed to his parents’ for dinner, with Patch in tow. Having his dog around again was the best part of being home. He spent a couple of afternoons a week exercising Stella but an hour or two of riding wasn’t enough. He yearned for nights under the stars, a week of campfire meals, the dawn chorus outside his tent each morning. He wasn’t good company, but his mother insisted.
“ Coq au vin .” With a flourish, his mother placed a heaped plate in front of him at his usual place at the dining room table. She was taking a French cooking class and was delighted to try out a new recipe on him.
“Marlene,” said his father with a worried look on his face. “You said we were having stew.”
“And we are,” she replied. “Just try it, please, dear?”
Len Landry was an easygoing man but he liked his food recognizable and pronounceable.
“It smells great, Mom.”
Lucas dipped a slice of baguette into the rich red wine gravy. It wasn’t nearly as good as the beef stew he and Bayleigh had devoured in her kitchen, cloaked only in moonlight, laughing, touching, trying hard not to make any noise. That night and everything about it was seared into his memory. Had it only been four weeks since he’d seen her? It felt like they’d been apart forever. How could such a short time make such a huge difference?
He’d told her the truth; he wasn’t a guy who hooked up with random women all the time. Without some kind of connection, sex was somewhat... disappointing. He always felt awkward after, gathering his clothing, fending off questions about his limp or his walking aid. He hadn’t bothered since the time he was chatting up a woman in a bar and she’d asked him if he even could have sex.
As if he was a broken toy she wasn’t sure she should bother playing with.
The risk of humiliation hadn’t been worth it after that.
Until Bayleigh.
“I want to meet your brother and sister.” Marlene glanced at her husband. “We both do. And when you find your birth mother, we want to meet her too.”
Lucas blinked. “I’ve barely gotten used to having them, myself. What’s your rush?”
“Oh, come on, darling. I told you before. They’re your family. That means they’re our family, too. I should have gotten you that DNA kit years ago. Here, have more stew.”
She dished him another serving, as if her request was simply a matter of timing, instead of a seismic shift in their nuclear triangle.
“Dad?” Lucas said. “Do you feel like that too?”
His father thought for a moment, as he always did before speaking. “Lucas,” he said, finally. “When you came into our life, we were so grateful. Beyond grateful, right, honey?”
She nodded, her eyes shining.
“But we always wondered about your past,” he continued. “You were so tiny; you’d already struggled so much being born too early. We were so focused on your physical health, so worried your birth mother would change her mind and want you back, it’s all we could think about at first. But once you were healthy and growing and we brought you home, and the adoption was finalized so we could stop worrying about losing you, I started wishing that we had more information. We expected you to start searching for your birth family once you got old enough.”
“And then, I didn’t care about it,” Lucas said.
“Never thought you’d be so blasé about it.” His father smiled. “But we always believed there was another family out there, wondering about you. It never once occurred to me that you were one of three babies born that day. Triplets. I still can’t believe it.”
He shook his head.
“We’d have adopted you all if we’d have known,” said Lucas’s mother. “Wouldn’t we, Len?”
“Woulda, coulda, shoulda,” his father replied. “Doesn’t matter now. I’m glad that two other families were blessed with a child the way we were. Now that you’ve found them, or rather, they found you, I agree with your mother. I want to meet them. If they feel the same way, that is.”
He hadn’t told his parents about Leila’s determination to find Heather Hudson.
His mother cleared her throat. “There’s been a new development.”
Lucas lifted his head. He recognized that tone.
She pursed her lips. “You know we’ve been getting calls from journalists.”
He nodded. “And you know not to speak to any of them, right?”
She glanced at Len again.
“Mom. Dad. What’s going on?”
His father looked away, and Lucas’s heart sank.
“You need to tell your side of the story, Lucas,” Marlene said, speaking fast. “You deserve the chance to defend yourself. I’ve found someone who’s willing to listen to you. A podcaster—”
“Absolutely not.” Lucas got to his feet and set the linen napkin onto the table. He held the back of the chair while the muscles in his bad leg adjusted to the change in position. “I’m not going to get into a war of he said, she said. That’s just going to make it worse.”
“But listen, Lucas—”
“Mom.” How could he make her understand? “Everyone’s already decided I’m at fault. Because you know what? Maybe I am, Mom! Maybe, if it weren’t for me, Tanya Schneider would still be walking.”
“Lucas! Don’t say that.” Marlene looked close to tears.
“Why not?” He limped to the doorway and stood there, hanging his head. “They say I’m arrogant and overly confident. They say I had no business running Landry Adventures in my condition.” He put air quotes around the hated word. “They say my need to prove myself blinded me to risks I should have foreseen. And what can I say to counter that? It’s all true, at least to some degree. Of course she should have told us about her epilepsy. Of course she shouldn’t have stopped taking her meds. Yes, she bears some responsibility. And no, we didn’t drop her on the way out. Her friends lied. But there’s no winning this. She’s the one in the wheelchair now, not me. I just wish they’d finally launch the civil suit so I can declare bankruptcy and get this over with.”
He was breathless, shocked at what he’d heard from his own mouth. Is that how he truly felt?
His father’s face was lined with fatigue and worry, but his voice was soft. “We’ll never let that happen, son.”
Lucas put a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sure as hell not letting you pay my way out of this mess, Dad. Surely you understand.”
He left for his condo shortly after, wishing he could get out onto the range and ride for days, away from his troubles, away from the pain he’d brought his family, the Schneiders, Tanya, away from the loneliness that was consuming him. Patch sat in the passenger seat, subdued, as if aware of Lucas’s mood.
He felt Bayleigh’s absence like a missing limb, but he was so glad he hadn’t had a chance to hurt her, too. At least she was still safe.
He pulled out his phone, brought up her number.
How’s life on the ranch?
What a stupid question. He sounded needy. Well, he was needy. Would she pick up on that? Maybe she’d just ignore him. That would make things easier.
But the three dots indicated she was responding.
All good here. Sorted out your legal issues yet?
I wish, he wrote. Getting there.
Was a beautiful day for a ride today. Sawyer’s working on our trails. I wish you could see them. You’d love it.
Was that an invitation?
Maybe I will, one of these days.
The next time Leila called him about the trip to Chinook, he answered. He was desperate to get out of Denver. His mother kept trying to feed him. His father kept handing out encouraging platitudes. Both of them kept urging him to defend himself, to tell his side of the story, to shut down the haters, and Lucas couldn’t take it anymore.
When people were angry, they needed someone to blame. They needed a villain. Beneath the anger was hurt, but it was far easier to rage than it was to grieve. Casting blame on Tanya, justified or not, would only confirm his role as villain, giving them more reason to rage.
Also, as much as he hated to admit it, he was beginning to believe them. His parents had pushed him hard as a kid, had taught him confidence, refused to allow self-pity. It had gotten him where he was today. But had he gone too far? When did confidence become overconfidence? Had he become arrogant? Blind to his own shortcomings?
He hadn’t done anything wrong, but he could have done things more right. He could have taken more precautions. Medical clearance for everyone, even supposedly well clients. Another EMT to support Chandra on every trip, maybe a paramedic.
But that assumed an unlikely future. If even he could see that he could have done things better, maybe Tanya Schneider and her family were right to keep him from ever reopening his business.
“Here’s the deal,” he told Leila. “I’ll meet you in Grand next Wednesday and we’ll drive the rest of the way together.”
He’d reserve a cabin at Belle Vista immediately. A long drive always meant a lot of stress on his hip, but a spell in Bayleigh’s hot tub would take care of that. A spell in Bayleigh’s arms would take care of everything else.
But Leila’s squee of delight ended that little fantasy. “I’ll get our guest room ready for you. This is so great. Our first brother-sister road trip!”