Chapter 12
BONNIE
The next evening, I was a basket case as I left the clinic. I took the L to the Monroe-Blue station and then walked toward Clark Street, pulling my coat tight around me.
I was growing more nervous by the second. It was the first time I was going to see Travis after more than a month. When we parted ways, I had stars in my eyes, and now everything was so different. We were still the same people, only we had a baby on the way.
And the worst part? I was all over the place. I didn’t know if I could blame the hormones, but one minute I was angry that Travis didn’t make more of an effort to find me, and the next I was melting, remembering our time together.
As I reached the food court, I started looking around.
My heart somersaulted when I located him by the door.
My God, he looked dashing. Not just sexy but handsome.
He was wearing a thick black coat that was buttoned up to his chin, paired with a stylish checkered scarf.
I'd only ever seen him with a thin coat before.
I didn't think he could ooze more sex appeal if he wore thicker clothes, but that seemed to be the case.
I walked toward him with quick steps. The cold was seeping into my bones. Less than a year away from Chicago and I'd forgotten just how cold the winters were.
He must have felt that I was looking at him, because he turned around, meeting my gaze. My body temperature went up instantly. I was almost feeling warm—emphasis on almost. My feet were still cold.
"Bonnie," he said. I'd forgotten how sensual his voice was too. He leaned forward, probably to kiss my cheek. I startled, taking a step back. He straightened up abruptly, training his eyes on me.
Clearing my throat, I said, "Hi. Thanks for meeting me here."
My voice sounded too formal, almost robotic. Here I was again, all over the place. Definitely hormones. I felt like I had two personalities.
I wasn't sure how to do this. It was dawning on me that he was practically a stranger, yet we were going to have a baby together.
I couldn't wrap my mind around it. I'd spent the past few weeks annoyed and desperate to find him.
I hadn't stopped to give any thought to what would happen once I did get a hold of him.
"Let's go inside. It's cold."
"Yeah," I agreed, even though I wasn't nearly as cold as before.
The food court was busy, and the delicious aromas in the air were making my stomach rumble.
"What do you want?" he asked.
"I like the shawarma they have here." I pointed at the far left of the food hall.
I bit my lower lip because I was nervous, and I was sure he could tell.
He nodded toward the booth, and we walked slowly side by side. I glanced around, trying to spot a table, but fortunately there were a few free. I ordered a chicken shawarma. Travis ordered one with beef. We received them right away and paired them with two sodas.
"I'll carry the tray," he said. "You lead the way to the table."
"Okay.” Looking around, I chose a table in the far-left corner. I wanted us to be a bit farther away from the hustle and bustle of the counters and other diners so we could actually hear each other talk.
As we headed away from the louder area, I became even more aware of the awkward tension between us.
Travis took off his coat, putting it on the back of his chair.
He was wearing a Henley sweater. For a moment, I forgot all about the awkwardness and simply drank him in.
His muscles weren't as visible as when he was naked, but still, there was plenty to make me drool.
"Want me to help you take off your coat?" he said.
"Yeah, sure." Way to go, Bonnie. First you don’t want him to touch you, and now you let him take off your coat like you can’t do it yourself. I couldn’t keep up with my two personalities.
I unzipped it, and he was right behind me, pulling it off my shoulders. His fingers grazed the top of my arms. Heat skittered all over my skin. I was shocked at the intensity of it.
I sat down quickly as he put it on the back of my seat, hoping he hadn't picked up on my reaction. When he sat in his chair, I caught him staring at my belly.
"I'm not showing yet," I explained. "It's probably going to be another two or three months before I do."
"Got it, " he said as we both unwrapped our shawarmas. "How are you feeling?"
“A bit tired. I sleep a lot, but honestly, I’ve also had a lot to do these past few weeks, securing my transfer here and then wrapping up everything in Oceanwell Bay.”
Travis put down his shawarma. "Bonnie, I'm really sorry I wasn't there for you through all of it. When I got my new phone, my assistant set it up. I hadn’t backed up my phone in a while, so the newest numbers didn’t transfer. I know I could’ve tracked you down other ways.
I thought about calling the practice in Oceanwell, but I got caught up with the hotel business, and—"
I held up a hand, stopping him, and shook my head. "It's okay. I got it. You don't have to give me all the details."
"But I want to. I just want this to be clear to you. If I’d known, I would've been there for you from day one."
"Thank you. I appreciate it." And I really did. After weeks thinking I had to do this on my own and fearing my baby would never meet his or her dad, it was truly reassuring.
"You were probably a bit shocked," I said before taking a bite of my shawarma. The second I swallowed, I realized I’d been starving. This was another weird change. Sometimes I literally didn't feel the hunger until I started eating.
"It doesn't matter right now. You are the one who matters. You've had to deal with the shock and the baby all by yourself."
"Yeah, that evening when I did the test, I walked around in a daze. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't even understand how it happened, but the ob-gyn in Oceanwell said no form of birth control is 100 percent, so I guess that's where we are."
"I'm glad you tracked me down. I was looking forward to seeing you again. You know that, right? I'd planned on us getting together again when you were back." He flashed me that trademark panty-melting smile.
Oh no. I had this sinking feeling we weren't on the same page.
"Travis," I said slowly, "we can't pick up where we left off.”
He frowned. "Why not?"
"Because we're having a baby."
"I'm not following."
I licked my lips, leaning back in the chair. "In Oceanwell Bay, we both agreed we weren't looking for anything serious."
"As you said, things have changed."
"Yes, but that's not what I meant. I think we should co-parent and try to be friends. I think that's the healthiest way to do this. What do you think?"
"I think we should take it easy. Not decide on a… setup,” he said in a disapproving tone.
I didn’t want to press the matter—besides, what more was there to say?
Our days in Oceanwell Bay had been amazing.
But they were never meant to be more than that, and I didn’t want to fool myself into thinking things would be different because we’d have a baby.
I was going to give the little one the very best of everything, which included a cordial and stable relationship between its parents.
Travis and I could be friends, I was sure of that.
But anything beyond that was risky and potentially messy.
I’d had a messy childhood. I’d do better for my child.
I focused on my food without saying anything more. The silence unnerved me. I could feel his eyes on me. What was he thinking?
As usual, I started babbling to fill the dead air.
"I have a doctor appointment next week, in case you want to come."
He perked up. "I do. What's going to happen?"
"I talked to her on the phone, and she said I’ll have an ultrasound.”
"Can they tell if it's a boy or a girl?"
I laughed. "No, not yet, but I have a funny feeling that it's going to be a boy."
"I have the exact opposite feeling. I think it's going to be a girl," he said with the world's most utmost confidence.
"Each of us has a 50 percent chance of being right."
"What else do you and the baby need?" he asked while we ate.
"Nothing for now. I honestly didn't have time to look up stuff. I'll do that further down the road. There's still plenty of time until the baby is born."
"I can ask Tate for advice."
"He's the brother with your niece, Paisley, right?" I asked.
"Exactly. Maybe he’s got some pointers. Probably my parents and Gran too. They're going to bite off my head when I tell them, but they're also going to have good advice. So overall, I think it's a win."
"How do you think they’ll take it?" I tapped my fingers on my thighs.
"They're going to be over the moon, all of them."
"Really? That you're going to have a child with a woman you don't even know well?"
I’d called Mom after I left the ob-gyn’s office that day. Remembering her reaction still made my heart shrivel.
He trained his eyes on me. My God, it was like he could see right into my soul.
"I know you, Bonnie. You know I do. But to answer your question, yes, they'll be over the moon anyway. And just a heads-up, they're going to want to meet you and give you plenty of advice. I'd like to tell you that I can protect you, but I can’t even protect myself from them."
"You don't need to protect me from them.
" This was unexpected. I figured Travis might keep his involvement to a minimum or at least not want to boast about it to his family so soon.
The thought that the little one was going to have a big family to fuss around him or her was already filling me with joy.
"Do you want anything else?" Travis asked once we'd both finished eating.
"No. I'm so full, I'm probably going to roll back home. It's going to take me forever."
"Why? The traffic is slow at this hour."
"I haven't had time to buy a car yet. I sold my old one before moving away because it was old as dirt and was costing me a lot of money for repairs, so I'm going to ride the L."
"I'll take you home."
"Travis—"
"I'll take you home."
He sounded bossy.
"I parked right behind the building," he added.
As we got up, he came over to my side, taking my coat from the chair. He slid it up, his fingertips grazing my arms the whole way. Did he do it on purpose?
I shuddered, parting my lips. He exhaled sharply. I felt his breath land on the tip of my ear. There was no way he'd missed it. I turned my head slowly, wanting to glance at him. His eyes were darker than before.
I was feeling a bit shaky as I zipped my coat up, and I couldn't meet his eyes. But I did spy him putting on his own coat. It definitely oozed sex appeal. Was it the high collar? The black color? I had no idea.
We headed straight to the door, and he opened it for me. The windy blast almost froze off my face. I had to fight off the urge to pull my scarf over my head.
"My God, it's cold," I said.
"See? All the more reason for me to drive you right to your doorstep."
"I'm not made of glass, Travis. A little bit of cold won't break me."
He mumbled something I couldn't quite catch, but I thought it sounded like "Stubborn woman." He hunched his shoulders against the wind. "My car is nearby."
We walked there with quick steps. I crossed my arms over my chest to conserve body heat, and then I felt a huge arm around the middle of my back.
Travis pressed me into his side, and just like before, my body temperature exploded.
It wasn't that I wasn't feeling cold anymore.
Now I was downright hot, except for my feet. They were freezing in my boots.
"Body warmth always wins, doesn't it?" Travis asked in my ear.
I laughed nervously, my whole body responding to his proximity. My mouth was dry. My fingers and toes prickled with excitement.
Once inside the car, I’d prepared myself for a few solid minutes of freezing. To my astonishment, the heat was already on.
"Wait, how is it so warm already?" I asked.
"I started the engine when we put on our coats."
"Oh, it's one of those smart and fancy cars. That's cool."
"I’ll buy you one," he said.
I turned to him, stunned. "What?"
"A car. If you like it, I can buy you the same."
I laughed, but he was looking at me with a serious expression. "Wait, you actually mean that?"
"Yes."
"Travis, you can't buy me a car. I won’t accept it."
"Why not? We're going to have a baby together."
"That's not how this works."
"You need to be comfortable," he replied.
I sank into the leather lining, putting on my seat belt. Holy shit, this man was something else.
"You can think about it," he said, gunning the engine.
"No! I can buy my own car. Thank you."
He didn't say anything for a few beats, then added, "What's your address?"
Taking out my phone, I put it in the GPS and then placed the phone on the dashboard so he could see it.
We made low-key chitchat on the way. Neither of us brought up the car again. When we arrived in front of my building, he parked right across the street, then walked me up to my front door.
“Thank you for meeting me tonight,” he said as I stepped inside.
Turning around to face him, I nodded, playing with the strap of my purse on my shoulder. “Thank you for taking this so well.”
I still felt awkward, like I didn’t know how to talk to him. He’d seen me naked, for God’s sake, and now I was tongue-tied. Then again, we were in this situation because he’d seen me naked.
“Travis, I know tonight was weird. I’m all over the place lately. Hot, cold, and everything in between. I think my hormones are acting up.”
“Duly noted.”
“I’ll text you my gynecologist’s address.”
“Do that. I’ll pick you up.”
“Not necessary. I’ll go directly from work.”
“Then I can pick you up from work.”
“I can get around on my own!”
He shook his head. "Bonnie, I don't do anything in half measures. You should know that about me. You don't want the car, that's fine. But know this: I am going to take care of you and our baby.”