Chapter 5 #2
Julia knew it wasn’t the spin class that was so disconcerting, it was more that Grandma Vera had always seemed like a force of nature, like the kind of woman none of them, against all reason and logic, had ever been able to picture dying.
“Was the house in good shape?” Nate asked, interrupting her thoughts. Right. He’d been asking about the house.
She had realized, as she’d walked through earlier, that it was maybe the only thing in her life that had remained completely unchanged in the last fifteen years.
The inside of the weathered Victorian had barely been updated in the forty years Vera had lived there: a 1950s kitchen with ancient appliances, the old chestnut armoire and furniture in the dining room, the worn velvet couches, the pale pink walls.
From a sentimental perspective, the sight of it all had made her tear up again.
From a real estate perspective, it probably wasn’t great.
“It’s exactly as it always was,” she finally answered him. “It probably needs some work before we sell it.”
“Sell it?” Nate asked, sounding surprised.
She explained about Grandma Vera’s terms to willing the house to her three granddaughters, and that there was no way all three of them were about to move here and live in the house together.
“Well, you could just move in, Jules. Em and Nora could come visit you. That would work too.” He smiled a little, like he was joking, but maybe only half, because his acorn eyes flickered across her face as if he was waiting to gauge her reaction too.
She laughed; the prospect of it felt ridiculous.
But that was exactly what Nate had done after he’d inherited his mother’s house.
After a brief, failed stint in medical school on the East Coast, he’d dropped out, moved his whole life back here.
It was different for him though. He’d grown up here.
The Pacific Ocean had always been his home, surfing almost as natural to him as walking.
Julia, who had barely even dipped her toes in the surf since the stingray incident, could not move here.
Besides, she had a whole life in DC. “That’s a nice thought,” she said. “But I have to finish law school.”
“After law school, I meant. They have lawyers in San Diego, you know,” Nate said.
She nodded. He wasn’t wrong. So why did the prospect of living out here still feel so outlandish? Coronado Island, Grandma Vera’s house, had always been her happy place. But it couldn’t be her home. “Ted hates the beach,” she told him. “He doesn’t like the feeling of sand on his toes.”
Nate raised his eyebrows, and she wondered if inwardly he was having the same reaction Nora did when she’d mentioned this detail about Ted to her sisters last Christmas. What kind of a monster doesn’t like the beach?
But even if he was thinking it, Nate was at least kind enough not to say it out loud. Instead, he finished off his beer, then stood and grabbed two more Bud Lights from the fridge. “Ted,” he said, as he handed her one. “The boyfriend you mentioned?”
Normally Julia wouldn’t drink more than one of anything—she hated feeling out of control.
But in this particular instance, she took the second can without argument, took a sip before answering him.
“Ted’s great. Really smart,” she said. “You’d love him.
” At least half of that was true. Ted was brilliant and articulate.
He’d gotten his op-ed analysis of President Clinton’s impeachment trial published in the Post last month, and he’d clerked for Justice Scalia all fall.
Julia liked the law; she liked rules and order, writing oral arguments.
She knew she would be a good lawyer, but she wasn’t in the same universe as Ted.
In fact, she often felt dazzled by him. Ted was going places.
Julia was attracted to men driven by their ambition.
Nate, who had moved into his childhood home and now worked odd jobs on the island, felt like the exact opposite of a man chasing his ambition.
So why could she not stop staring at his lips now, wondering what would happen if she kissed him, the way she did when she was seventeen? The beer, that was probably why.
“So it’s serious, you and Ted?” Nate asked.
Julia tried to decide whether he sounded annoyed or happy for her. But his voice was so steady, maybe he was indifferent? Maybe he was just trying to be kind and strike up conversation, get her mind off Grandma Vera.
“Are you gonna marry the guy?” Nate added.
“Maybe,” Julia said. It wasn’t something she and Ted had discussed yet exactly, but who had time as they were both worrying about finishing law school, preparing for the bar. But if Nate had asked, instead, if she was in love with Ted, she would’ve said a truthful yes.
“You know,” Nate said suddenly. “What if you rent it instead?”
It took her a minute to realize he’d moved away from Ted. The house. He was talking about the house. “How would that help?” she asked.
“Turn it into a weekly rental, I mean. You could reserve one week a year for you and Em and Nora. It would keep you good with Vera’s terms, and you’d all have a little extra income on the side.”
“One week in May,” Julia said. “Just like we always did. I wonder if we could make that work?”
Nate considered it for a few seconds. “There’s a city ordinance around rentals.
It is a little tricky. You’d have to get it rezoned as a hotel to be able to rent weekly.
” He paused and finished off his shrimp skewer.
“But I could help you figure it out. My friend is on the zoning board now. I could help you manage all the tenants and day-to-day operations too, since I’m just right here next door. ”
The thought of having Nate’s help made her want simultaneously to sigh with relief and run away and hide.
She actually loved his idea of keeping the house, coming one week every year with her sisters to this place, their favorite place, in honor of Grandma Vera.
It would be a lot to manage from across the country, though, and Nate’s help would make the logistics significantly easier.
Except for the fact that this might mean she’d have to talk to Nate on a regular basis from here on out.
And emotionally, that felt like a heavy lift.
Two beers deep, she considered whether this would make sense to him if she said it out loud.
But what she said instead was, “I don’t know…
That’s a lot to ask, Nate.” Of him. Of herself.
“I don’t mind. Vera was like family. And you…
” He paused for a moment, ran his fingers through his hair, making the curls disheveled, making her want to reach up and organize them.
Her fingers twitched, wanting to feel the coarse texture of his hair again, and she clasped her hands together in her lap.
“And you and Emily and Nora were always like my little sisters growing up,” he finally added.
Little sisters? His words flamed up in her chest, like an insult, though she knew that wasn’t how he’d meant it.
But if that was how Nate thought of her now, if he’d forgotten all about those teenage summer nights between them, then there would be no problem with accepting his help.
Why shouldn’t she take him up on it? “Okay,” she said.
“But we’ll pay you. I mean, we don’t have anything right now, but once we start making income from the rental…
we’ll pay you. I wouldn’t ask you to do all this for free. ”
“That sounds fair enough,” he agreed. “But Jules…” He hesitated for a moment, and he stared at her so intently. This was not the way a man stared at his younger sister. She closed her eyes. “Jules,” he said again.
“Yeah?” she said softly, her eyes still closed.
“Look at me,” he said.
She listened, opened her eyes. He gave her a lopsided smile, then reached up and tucked a stray hair that had fallen from her loose ponytail back behind her ear. The warm brush of his fingertips against her forehead, her earlobe, made her shiver a little.
“It’s just… I hate seeing you like this.”
But somehow the word hate sounded more like love, and after a few seconds had passed, she wasn’t entirely sure which word he’d actually said out loud.